The Side Effects of Unoriginality
by Arkane Bradley
Summary: One year after the disbandment of the Gullwings, Rikku finds herself feeling empty. At first, she believes she misses the company of her friends, who seem to be moving along just fine. However, when they can't fill the emptiness, she wonders what can?
1. BoldFaced Liars

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

Author's Note**: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Hello everyone! This is my very first fan-fiction. I hope that you'll enjoy reading this and review for me, be it good or bad. I take criticism surprisingly well.

Chapter 1: Bold-Faced Liars

_Dear Yuna, _

_Yes I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I guess I've been up to my elbows in machina parts. Sorry for the late response. I've been meaning to get back to you, especially since this has been sitting on my dresser for nearly a week. But you know how Pops is. When he gets something into his head, there's just no saying no. _

_Like I said last time, I've been working my butt off here in the desert. I don't mind it. Digging up machina has always been a favorite pastime of mine. I guess I got so caught up in this that I forgot about everything else. _

_The other day, we dug up something that has to date back as far as a thousand years. Pops was so freakishly happy—I don't think I've ever seen him so pleased with us. We dusted it off and after some careful, tactical planning, we managed to get it working, with my help, of course. Pops must have been the happiest person there, especially since it was HIS daughter that got it working. I don't think I've ever been more pleased with myself, either, Yunie. _

_We've talked enough about me, though. You never did respond to my LAST question. How are you and Tidus doing? You two have been living together for almost a year now and I've gotten no news report. So spill the beans already! I'm dying to know. _

I stared down at the straight-laced writing, cringing awkwardly in my seat as the words screamed at me, loud and daunting. Looking down at what I'd written on the paper—the grand story of happiness and fulfillment—I felt awful on the inside. I'd lied, or I'd come as close to lying as I was physically possibly. Still, the meaning was the same. I hadn't been completely honest with Yuna and on the inside, I felt as though I'd murdered someone.

Sitting back in my chair, I breathed heavily, staring at the plain, yellow ceiling, searching for the proper words. But they wouldn't come to me; somehow I think they're still avoiding me from last week, when I had to send a similar letter to Paine, who might have noticed how shallow my voice sounded on paper, if she wasn't busy living her life, too.

Not knowing what else to say to my cousin, I scribbled:

_Anyway, I want to know ALL the juicy details—well not all of them, ya know. I'm dying to hear from the outside world and all that. And tell Tidus I said 'Hello.'_

I signed my name on the bottom and quickly shoved the paper into a nearby envelope. Tossing it on my desk, I pulled away in disgust, getting to my feet to pace the tiny room. It wasn't like there was much else for me to do.

I lied. I lied to Yuna of people, no less, my best friend and cousin. When I realized I'd been doing that for a while with her and Paine, however, I felt the tiny pang of guild subside. It wasn't like I didn't want to do those things I was lying about. In all honesty, it would be fun to dig up some ancient machina and be the one to get it working. The fact was, however, that was unlikely. Digging had been slow lately. Pops figured we'd just run into a dry piece of land. I quickly reminded him that we were in a _desert._ It was all dry land, technically.

Since the defeat of Vegnagun and the return of peace to Spira, I'd little to nothing to do, except help the Al Bhed dig up machina in Bikanel. It was my home, too, after all. It was the very least that I could do—aside from helping to save Spira twice. Still, the only reason I'd come back was because no one else needed me.

Yuna had Tidus and god knows I couldn't be happier for her. she deserved to have something she wanted for a change. And Tidus made her happy, I knew. I saw the way things ended with them and how they began. So they needed alone time, to patch things up and re-find common ground and all that. I understood that, but knowledge didn't lessen the pain. Yuna was my cousin, you know. She was really the only other family I had—save Pops, the Leader of the Al Bhed and Brother, the owner of the _Celsius_ and my deranged older brother. Oh, _joy!_

Paine was doing something similar. She wanted to travel all over Spira and experience things differently. I couldn't blame her either; she'd only ever seen the world when it was in dire stress. I could see the need to want to look at things differently. Not to mention, she and Baralai decided to do things "together." I didn't think Paine the romantic type, but she might just enjoy his company.

And that left me. Alone. Without anyone. In the middle of a desert full of Al Bhed.

I hadn't been seeing anyone, hadn't been waiting for anyone to return from the dream world of the Fayth. I hadn't been doing anything before Vegnagun, ultimately leaving me with nothing to do after its defeat. My life amounted to nothing aside from the Gullwings and when we disbanded, that sorta left me without anything worth living for.

Throwing myself onto my bed, a soft single-sized bed draped with a chocobo-feather quilt, I grumbled into my pillow, burying my face into the downy softness.

"I'm pathetic," I sighed loudly, into the sullen, empty air of my tiny room.

I rolled onto my side and pulled my legs against my chest, pressing my cheek against my knee. Staring at the wall, I felt a little less disgusted with the emptiness of my life. It's too early for self-resentment, I reminded myself, despite the rising heat of the day. But what could I expect? I _was_ in the middle of a _desert_ after all.

Groaning, I rolled back and stared at the ceiling, my hand resting lazily against my stomach. At one point, I had dreams—aspirations that I had wanted to complete. I wanted to do things, helpful things—aside from saving the world and rebuilding Home. I wanted to do things for _me_. It wasn't that I didn't want to help people, but I had been doing it for so long that I forgot what it was I wanted from life. In that light, I felt like Yunie; she never got a say in what she got to do. She was always doing for others, even if she'd rather not. But she's too nice, she's too naïve. I'm nothing like that, I reminded myself.

When I thought more about it, however, I wasn't exactly sure what I was like. I knew for sure that I wasn't anything like Yuna. On the other hand, I wasn't anything like Paine either. She was sarcastic and biting, her demeanor just the same. She wasn't necessarily withdrawn, but she wasn't as open as the rest of us, either. She just kinda…was. I used to know what I was, or rather, I knew who I was.

I was Rikku—I was the sunshine to the world. My smile could brighten up anyone's day. I loved people. I loved being around them—I loved talking to all sorts of new people. But now…it was almost as though I was avoiding them. I wanted to escape the world of people, I wanted to be all-alone. That wasn't the Rikku I wanted to be, but it was the Rikku I had become. I didn't hate being that person, but I didn't like being that person, either.

Again, I rolled over, now facing the door. It was a wooden door, or it gave the appearance of being wooden. To the best of my knowledge, it wasn't. Wood doors in the desert? That would be awfully bizarre. Instead, I think it was a type of material that was like wood as far as security went, but let the breeze come in, especially since it was so damn hot in the desert.

"I need something to do with my life," I mumbled into the hot air, my arm now dangling over the edge of my bed.

As if on cue, my stomach growled loudly, an embarrassed blush coming to my cheeks, even though no one was there with me. Pulling myself up, I slunk away from the bed and through the door, slamming it behind me.

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I found something edible in the kitchen area. From what I could tell, Cid had been trying to cook something for Brother and in his plans, something went terribly awry. It was green, but it should have been brown. I think it was meat, but it smelled somewhat fruity, though there was a pungent smell of sharp cheddar cheese. I said edible, not delicious. I gulped it down indiscriminately, trying not to gag on the imperviously strong taste of metal. I didn't want to know what Pops had put in there and I wasn't brave enough to ask. After the hunk of mystery substance settled itself into my stomach, I roamed about the _Celsius_ in sheer boredom.

Nothing had changed much, expect for the minor upgrades Buddy and I put to Brother's hunk of junk, and Cid's additions as well. Since we'd acquired some top-of-the-line machina parts, we decided to put many of them to good use. We built tinier aircrafts for some of the Al Bhed, many of them used to transport our people from place to place. As I looked around, however, I felt empty, just like the lonesome ship, whose only companion was me at that moment. Everyone else was out, I assumed, given the relative silence of the ship. When everyone else was around, it was hardly ever quiet. Some could swear that another world war had broken out or something.

Seeing as there was nothing else to do, I walked around aimlessly, my eyes roaming over gears and other mechanical parts, though I wasn't really seeing anything. My mind wasn't in the mood to process information and I didn't blame it; as far as I knew, it was still too early for work. Besides, I wasn't ready for whatever grueling task Cid had prepared for me that day. It was just too damn early, I convinced myself, lounging in Buddy's usual seat. I stared out the large window at the golden sand, beyond myself with boredom.

Bikanel was still the mainland for the Al Bhed. I guess it would always be Home to us, even if the ruins had yet to be rebuilt. In our hearts, this was where we belonged. It was the one place we didn't have to feel unwelcoming eyes roaming our skin, begging us to be gone. We were just simply people—not Al Bhed. In the real world, we couldn't hide our green eyes and ever-so-blonde hair. There weren't enough masks in the world to hide our true selves from the world. So we had to bear whatever consequences came for simply being Al Bhed.

"I wonder where everyone else went," I pondered aloud, clasping my hands together as I rested them on the pudge that was slowly becoming my stomach. "The least any of them could have done was leave me a note. But it's the desert…not too far they can roam."

That seemed to settle with me. It was true; they'd probably gotten tired of waiting for me to wake up and launched themselves into a pile of machina parts that needed to be inventoried and test for possible malfunctions and/or uses. Waiting for me to wake up wasn't a fun time, either; I could see that. Still, someone could have left breakfast out—I did it for them all the time before I snuck off the ship and buried myself under a pile of machina, busying myself with the tiny things. And if that green abomination was what Pops called "breakfast," then I was better off without it. With a dissatisfied groan, I tore myself away from the chair and headed back for the elevator. I needed fresh air…or to bury my hands in a pile of machina that desperately needed my attention.

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I'd been working for almost six hours straight. The sun was beating down on my bare back. The hot desert gave me proper justification to roam about clad in scanty, bare-all clothes and Cid could say _nothing _to me about it. I was off the hook so well that he barely spared me the time of day during work hours. He hated seeing the Al Bhed boys staring at me and not being able to do much about it. That didn't stop him from doing what he could do, however.

Still, I was much adored by the young machina-lovers. In fact, just an hour ago, several of the new Al Bhed from Luca had come by, asking me if I wanted to go with them for lunch. Even under my oil-smeared face, they seemed interested, a concept lost on me. I politely waved them off before delving back into the pile set before me. I washed the pieces, worked out the nicks and pieces of sand and oiled them up. I hated the sound of grinding metal; it made me cringe, thinking of the damage being caused. I realized at that moment how bizarre I must have been to normal people, though the Al Bhed boys my age seemed to think it was the sexiest thing in the world.

I wiped my brow with a wet cloth before draping it on the back of my neck, returning to my pile of work. So far, I'd found several energy cores, most of them still in working condition. I'd also stumbled across several bomb fragments and grenades ranging from petrify to silence. I guessed that whatever it came from was used for battle.

"Dryd'c cdnyhka," I mumbled, subconsciously slipping back into my native tongue. "Very strange," I said, this time in English.

I had pulled something shiny from the soft sand. It had been embedded there, much like the old machina we were digging up. I got to my feet, no longer sprawled out in the gritty, golden crystals. I thrust my arm into the air, letting the sun run its beams through the oddly colored thing, not even sure what to call it myself. However, standing there in the middle of the sand, holding the strange trinket in my hand, I suddenly realized it shouldn't have been there. I pulled my hand back down and embraced the tiny trinket. I had found a treasure in the sand.

Opening my hand, I stared down at it. It looked fancy, like something torn from a nice chain, a necklace or something. I could easily loop something through it and adorn the odd thing on my neck. I smiled in spite of myself, something I hadn't been doing too much, if at all. Not since the Gullwings split, I remembered. Everything kinda faded, losing its glimmer. Life didn't mean much and I think everyone here in the desert was starting to notice my withdrawn and uncharacteristically dim view on life now. Even Cid had noticed and he was as dense as it came in regards to myself.

I sighed, slumping back down into the sand, my tiny bubble of joy bursting. Thinking of Yuna and Paine made my swollen heart pound painfully rough against my chest. I was finding it hard to breath, even though the air couldn't have been crisper. Memories of our time spent together rushed into my head, pushing their way into the foreground, slowly killing me with every smile, every laugh, every moment of happiness and unity. If I hadn't already sunken into the ground, my legs surely would have buckled beneath me and I'd have plummeted anyway.

My reason for coming back to Bikanel—my only real reason for being here, dirtying myself for the sake of my people—it was a selfish thing. I didn't come here because I wanted to restore the sense of dignity us Al Bhed had lost when our Home was destroyed. I hadn't come here because I knew we belonged in Spira and thus needed a place to call ours. I didn't return to my father's headquarters because I wanted to be there when our people were brought back into the actual world with something of their own. No, none of those reasons amounted to the real one.

I only came back to distract myself from the pain of not being wanted by my two best friends. Even though I realized they had their own lives, I also realized that neither of them had made an attempt to incorporate me into their newly established lives. Letters here and there telling me how they were wasn't good enough! So I wasn't honest; why should I have been? Their letters were an attempt to cover up the fact that neither of them wanted anything to do with me anymore. The letters were a façade of friendship and when I realized that, I crashed into a world of darkness. My friends didn't want me.

In the few moments it took me to think it through, I realized I wasn't apart of anyone's life.

I was alone. The desert was my only friend, I concluded, fighting to swallow the painful lump that had pushed itself up. But I couldn't fight both the painful feeling of recognition and the salty tears of understanding, not at the same time. So I gave up both battles and I lay in that desert, overcome with my grief, overcome by myself.

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Author's Note: This was the first chapter. Although it's short, it's still only the first chapter.

Also, there is a reason for Rikku being semi-depressed; she did lose her two best friends, you know. But never fear. Things will become more interesting in the upcoming chapters, I can assure you.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	2. Distractions

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

I would like to thank my reviewers. In fact, I dedicate this chapter to them.

To Miszanonymous13 for being the first to review and keep my spirits up. And to Miesie-chan for the much-needed and well-placed enthusiasm. I thank you both.

Chapter 2: Distractions

The next morning, I couldn't manage bring myself up from my despair. I couldn't see any reason to do so. Work? The sand always needed to be dug up. We had plenty of people that were willing to do that. No one needed me for that. Breakfast? Sure, my stomach was giving me its best act, but I wasn't the slightest bit interested. It growled and roared loudly, doing its best to get my attention, to no avail, sadly. Bathroom? There's a good one, I thought. But again, it wasn't enough. I didn't feel the urge to force my legs to move all the way towards the bathroom. It wasn't worth it, as far as I concerned myself.

Yesterday's revelation had actually exhausted me. Although I had always known that, if I never let myself say those things out loud, I figured I could act like that wasn't the case. But how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance? I knew the truth all along. I tried to run from it, tried to act like it wasn't there. I kept running, trying to put as much distance between what I couldn't forget and myself. In my heart I knew. My friends were moving on with their lives. They deserved something better than the Gullwings. So how could I be mad at them for doing what I so desperately wanted to do?

I buried my face into the pillow and screamed loudly, content in knowing that I was the only one aboard the _Celsius_ anyway. Like yesterday, Brother, Buddy, Shinra and Cid had probably left already, going to work to finish scouring the desert for hidden machina. When I said it like that, I felt somewhat hopeful. The desert was so vast it had taken us this long just to clear out a tiny portion of one of the four expanses. If I was lucky, I could squander my otherwise useless life here and never have to face reality again. I could be content enough just to stay here and never return.

But life doesn't work like that, I heard someone echoing in my head. When I found that damn voice—and I _would_ find it—I'd give it a slow and painful death. I rolled over and shifted until I found something comfortable. It didn't last long; an unstable mind made for uncomfortable positions. So I fidgeted in bed, bored beyond my mind and unable to concentrate on anything else, aside from the nagging pain that kept eating away at my chest. It was painful, to say the least, but more than that, it kept me focused on my hardships, which was the last thing that I wanted right now.

I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to feel. I wanted to be numb in my ignorance, wanted to pretend that yesterday never happened. I'd been so good these past few months. I hadn't thought about Paine and Yuna living their lives, hadn't thought about what it meant for me not to be apart of their lives. I was just living from moment to moment, trying to forget my life as a member of the Gullwings. Up until yesterday, I had succeeded in my conquest. I hadn't the time to worry about what I was missing with Paine and Yuna gone from my life. I couldn't find the time to squander my thoughts on painful things. I couldn't think about them if I had myself buried in a workload of machina that piled much taller than me.

But then yesterday happened. Yesterday just had to happen. I had to remember them, had to remember their smiling faces, faces that were probably laughing at me from their new lives. It was probably a joke between them—between people who pretended to be my friends. They probably were laughing at me, little ol' Rikku who couldn't see anything beyond being a third member of the Gullwings. They were…

_I can't think like that,_ I thought, pressing a pillow roughly to my chest. I bit down on its edge and repressed the urge to cry. I didn't want my paranoia to overcome my logic. I knew that Paine and Yuna were my friends; they weren't liars, not like me. They were honest, they were my friends. I had to believe that…or else my entire foundation—the only reason I hadn't broken down sooner—it surely would crumble, leaving me in the ruins of my sunny, older self. I didn't want to let that happen. No, I couldn't let that happen. I had to cling desperately to the few moments of the real Rikku that I had left. If I lost what made me sunny, then what good was I to the rest of the world?

Sprawled on my bed, I stared up at the plain ceiling morbidly, though it was the blandness that caused my grimaced face. Of course, the ceiling wouldn't have seen it like that; surely, the ceiling would have been upset to have been on the receiving end of such a twisted glare. But the ceiling, as aforementioned, was not the intended receiver of the scowl. Naturally, the frown was more towards myself than anyone else. I was upset with myself, as I'm sure the rest of the world was.

Where had happy-go-lucky Rikku disappeared?

I was sure the world had asked this question aloud on many occasion in the past year since the departure of the Gullwings from the sphere-hunter's world. Other people had probably asked that to, but never to my face for fear of becoming my next victim. Recently, I'd become very grumpy and more withdrawn than a snail hiding in its shell. That was a good analogy, I think. Or at least, it was the best way to describe how I'd been. Now, that's not to say that I haven't been polite and social. I've been as sociable as possible, given my self-disgust and my insatiable need to become a recluse. I didn't have the need to be a socialite anymore; I didn't want to have to be involved with others.

The world wondered where Rikku had gone—the real Rikku—not this me. I was the person who was pretending to be Rikku. I wore her face and her clothes and even did my hair in the same wildly entertaining way. But I wasn't that Rikku. Of course, if anyone knew what had happened to that Rikku, then realization would wash the world anew. That Rikku had been hurt, not immensely so, but enough to force her into hiding, giving breath to this Rikku, the Rikku that was.

But the world still wondered where she went. Where has she gone? Sadly, it wasn't a question I had an answer to. Instead, I had a theory. Rather, I had theories.

Whatever had happened, I was sure to block it out. I didn't want to find myself in the middle of something important when suddenly I'm overwhelmed by an intense wave of emotion. It was completely unprofessional. So I locked it away, along with Miss Sunshine and acted like I was normal, rather, like I was the real Rikku and not some emotionless imposter, which even I began to suspect. But my resolve was easy to bend and even easier to break. I couldn't be a liar for long; I mean, I have morals, you know.

The truth was hard to explain. I was probably being overly dramatic, but didn't the fact that I felt the emotion somehow validate the need to feel wounded? I'll back up some. Or, I'll try to explain things a little better. Being apart of the Gullwings wasn't important because it meant finding spheres. It meant the world to me because it was something I could do everyday and still be within reach of my best friends, Paine and Yuna. My job was the best because they were there—there was nothing else better. So when we decided to split, my world somewhat crumbled down around me. At first, I knew it had nothing to do with me. We'd saved the world twice already; it was kinda losing its glamour. They needed time to themselves. I knew that.

But still…I felt…unwanted. My friends opted to put distance between us for the sake of being true to themselves. Not only that, but they decided visiting was out of the question, or at least, that's how it came across to me. One whole year and I hadn't seen either one of them since we said our good-byes. All I got were their lousy letters two or three times a week. I wasn't enough worth it enough to them for a weekly comsphere chat. I suppose that's what had me disheartened the most. That's why I was withdrawn—it was why I wanted nothing to do with the rest of the world. My best friends didn't need me; they didn't even want me around. What was the point of trying to maintain my usually light, carefree self?

There was no point.

"So here we are," I said to no one in particular, still with a grimace towards the ceiling, which was probably past the point of being offended by now. Livid was more the word I was leaning towards, if ceilings can actually _be _livid, that is.

The first three months were the hardest. Living everyday with held breath, wondering if today would be the day, only to have my hopes shattered at its ending when I realized, sadly, that it was not. It was always the same. I went on, day after day, hoping that someone would have it in their minds to remember me, that someone would pay me some attention. I pined for that love, begged for someone to cast a caring glance in my direction. I was desperate just to feel them in my life again.

That pattern continued on for quite a while. It lost its momentum at the beginning of the fourth month. It was hard to admit, but I was beginning to lose hope. All I ever received from them were their scribbled letters, which held as much love and sympathy as an angry cactuar. Thorns included. The fifth month came and went; I hardly noticed. I was content by then just to receive anything from them. But my desperation was wearing thin, as were my replies, all written letters, which had gone from being novel-sized to a measly two or three pages, one-sided.

The six month came and my heart had already broken; I didn't notice that either. I was numb already. I blocked the world out because it was too painful to remember. I buried myself in Cid's digging excavation projects, trying to keep my fingers busy. I didn't want to wring them around my neck, although now it was seeming like such a terrible waste. I'm not saying I'm suicidal—I'm not. I'm only saying that maybe that bit of pain would have redeemed me from the torture I'd later put myself through. That is, it would have given me something else to mull over in my times of desperation and need. I found that I was prone to wanting to feel but being too afraid to go out and actually submerge myself in the lives of others. I'd cut people out altogether in the fourth month and my withdrawn deposition was wide-felt and noticed by all the Al Bhed. I was their "Princess" after all. So instead, I slowly tortured myself with all my memories from the Gullwings, crying myself to sleep almost every night.

That's pathetic, I know.

The seventh, eighth and ninth months were hardly worth mentioning. My need for emotional support from my two best friends was dying, until finally, it stopped altogether. There was no lingering needs or wants; it had all but dissipated in my longing days to have my best friends recognize me as the waiting child who is begging for her parents' attention, only to be abandoned on a room of inanimate objects. I was sapped of all things that were reminiscent of the Rikku who'd helped save the world twice. Left in her stead was the Rikku I was, the Rikku who was pretending that the world was all right, which secretly trying to keep herself in tact. In both the latter and the former I failed; my façade was so easy to see through, but no one was brave enough to wound my pride. They let me drift on the way I was, worry written on their faces, but I wasn't attentive enough to have noticed.

I kept my hands in Cid's excavation projects and as the year wound itself down, I found that there was nothing left, but a slight, gnawing pain in the middle of my chest. It was something I had developed over the year of pushing them into the back of mind, something completely so uncharacteristic of the real Rikku, but it seemed to be something that made me into the Rikku I was slowly becoming. Pretending that something didn't bother me didn't make it so, but it numbed the pain enough for me to live on, even if it was in the shadow of my old life, the glimmering brilliance of Miss Sunshine.

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By the middle of the day, I had managed to get out of bed and make lunch for everyone that was aboard the _Celsius_. No one made eye contact with me and Cid wasn't even upset that I hadn't shown up for work. In fact, I think he was relieved that I decided to take a day off, since I hadn't done so in a year. I'd worked for him non-stop, seven days a week to keep my mind on something other than the subtle pain that throbbed in my chest. If I kept my mind busy, I wouldn't have time to think. That was my theory, so it was my belief.

Everyone settled themselves around the bar, eyeing their bowls of food expectantly. I was a good cook and everyone on the ship knew it. Hell, if it wasn't for me, I don't think they'd know what a decent meal was. However, as they prepared to eat, two or three pairs of eyes made a strange moment, swiveling around to rest on me. I was standing in the doorway, my bowl in hand. It was common law that I didn't eat with them. I rarely did, as their only concerns were machina, Paine and Yuna. Machina talk was fine, but it always ended with thoughts of the two women I wanted nothing to do with. I made excuses for why I didn't want to eat with them, each one flimsier than the last. But it was always enough to get me off the hook.

Today was no different. I quickly dashed back to my room, bowl in hand, and closed it when I'd safely made it inside the confines of my tiny room. I pushed the bowl onto the sturdy foundation of my desk before I slung my body recklessly onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow for the second time that day. I growled exasperatedly, my brow furrowing with my anxiety.

"E ryda drec," I growled halfheartedly into my soft pillow. "I hate this."

The last part sounded more like a plea than a statement full of conviction. I groaned inwardly, twisting in my bed uncomfortably. Again, I couldn't find a comfortable spot. I blamed my ever-growing anxiety and the tightening of my chest, which was forcing me to my side. I complied and rolled over, ever so begrudgingly, of course. Staring at the side of my desk, my mouth watered slightly as my eyes mulled over my captive, my bowl of food. To emphasize the point, my stomach decided to chime in and give its two cents. It growled loudly, my insides giving an overly dramatic shudder.

_There is no god in heaven,_ I thought, wrenching myself free from my bed's comfort. I tossed my leg over the side of my chair and sat uncomfortably, my legs now crossed and slung over the side of my chair, braced by the wooden arm. My back pressed against the other arm and I sat in the middle of two arms, bridal-style, without any of the happiness. I was grouchy as I ate my food, despite the lovely taste as it slid down my throat and quieted my stomach's quiet pleas.

For nearly six months, the everyday daily things had become such a burden. I'd done my best to make a routine of my life, so that everything was a controlled variable. Wake up. Eat. Take a shower. Work. Come home. Sleep. That was how things were supposed to go, but now I was finding it harder and harder to maintain such a strict schedule. My hands wandered, my mind found itself in variously odd avenues of thought. I couldn't find a way to control myself with what I thought was a steel-clad will. Apparently, that was just a wispy ideology. Instead, my life was left in shambles, broken pieces that I tried my best to put back together in some sort of order, to little or no avail.

What bothered me most in all of this, however, was that I couldn't stop thinking of them. I'm sure I've emphasized this point enough. I feel as though a lover's scorned me. But that's a bit of life we're made to understand at very young ages. If that had happened, I could have very well moved on. I would have had my friends' support, I would have had their good faith to depend on. Their shoulders I could have cried on. But tell me, who do you run to when your very best friends abandon you, not in search of a new life, but because you're a pest? What do you do when your friends are trying to escape from your presence?

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, what do you when you've finally come to that realization that all along, it was you that was the problem?

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The next morning, I decided to make up for lost time. I got to work an hour earlier than I needed to, but was greeted with a cup of cold milk and a smile from one of the workers. I drank down the milk and returned the cup to him with a brief and very forced smile. I told you before, the mundane things are such a hassle, it's a wonder I haven't been "politely asked to never return" yet. I took a shovel and a pickaxe with me and went to find my favorite chocobo, whom I'd lovingly named Dezba.

In a recent stroke of genius, Cid decided it was a good idea to send out diggers, equipped with their regular digging supplies and a chocobo-pulled cart. He thought this was more efficient and allowed more machina to be examined without losing any workers in the process. Since the agile, weatherproof gifted chocobo were handy, it seemed like a much smarter way of handling certain projects.

After securing Dezba's harness and the machina cart, I took a hold of his reins and led him away from the diggers' tent, into the warming, sandy expanse. I breathed deeply, staring out over the golden horizon with curious green eyes. Even though I thought of this place as my own personal prison, I could never forget how much I loved the desert. It was my home away from Home, after all. What was there to dislike?

"Hey, Rikku," one of the Al Bhed men said, waving at me from the tent.

I sighed under my breath, exasperated suddenly. I turned back, trucking Dezba and our cart back up the small slope. I gestured for him to wait and walked inside the tent, where the man had disappeared to, I assumed. Inside the tent there were construction plans and digging site papers splayed over a sturdy wooden table, several of the men inside learning over the table to examine them differently. When I walked in, clad in little more than a pair of shorts and a bikini top, their work orders suddenly became very uninteresting.

"What did you want?" I asked, trying to stay as level minded as I could, despite the many pairs of eyes that were now slowly undressing me.

"We've been patrolling the area and there have been some strange discoveries," the man said, not nearly as thickheaded as his four companions. He didn't seem the least bit interested in what I had on, or lack thereof. I was impressed.

"So, then what's the problem?" I asked, noticing the semi-concerned frown. "I thought we all liked finding new and interesting things. Isn't that the basis of this dig cite?"

"What we found was not machina. In fact, if I hadn't been so well-versed in survival training, I would easily bet my life that it wasn't a fiend, either," the man said, crossing his arms over his chest, as if to make his point. "There's something buried under that sand, something that does not want us digging there."

"Resting grounds maybe?" I suggested vaguely.

"Cid is looking into that now. However, we're not finding anything in any of the fiend logs or in the reports that were made some five or six years ago. No one is sure what's beneath that sand and what worries me most is that what we have isn't strong enough or fast enough to track its location."

"It's moving around in the sand?" I asked, no longer needing to fake interest. It was genuine. "Now that's something you don't see everyday. A sand fiend—that's wonderful!"

My sudden outburst shocked everyone in the room, one man so much that he fell from his chair. He recomposed himself, but the damage was already done. I had to cough to keep from laughing. The uninterested man fixed me with a look and I immediately lost my enthusiasm, as the reality of his words finally sunk on.

"Going into the desert is dangerous for any of us here. I can't prevent you, of course, but it would be bad manners on my part if I didn't at least try to warn you," he said, placating me with his mellow voice. "All I'm asking is that you don't go worrying your father. He's already up to his elbows in grief—he has to look out for everyone here."

"All right," I said, sounding more like a troublemaker than I had intended.

He raised an eyebrow at me, but said nothing else. When he lowered his head again and had returned to looking over reports, I took that as my cue to leave. I turned on my heel and felt eyes trailing up my legs, pervish thoughts running through the minds. It made my skin crawl, being felt up with their untamed eyes.

Outside again, Dezba nuzzled me as affectionately as he could, chirping happily at my return. I took his beak and pressed it firmly against my body, my hands caressing his feathery face. I looked up into his bright eyes and couldn't help but smile, trailing my fingers against his face one last time, before we headed off into the desert together.

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I took the old man's advice and steered clear of my usual spots—the places farthest away from other diggers, while still remaining in the safe boundaries of Cid's watchful eye. So I just roamed about mostly, digging in random areas for a few moments until I found something. If it was interesting, I threw the hunk-of-junk into Dezba's cart carelessly. On rare occasion, he would chirp his disproval, though it was more indignant than a chirp, which he saved for his moments of pleasure. I guess it was a bird's impression of a growl. That made me smile.

As we walked, my mind drifted—and I say drifted because I sure as hell didn't steer it in that general direction—to thoughts of Paine and Yuna. The mere thought of their smiling faces caused my insides to cringe. Thinking of them in a better place without me to accompany them made me feel alone in the world, more alone than I was willing to bear. A cold block of ice buried itself in the middle of my chest and branched out its cruelty to the rest of me like an evil, possessed tree bent on my destruction. That's another good analogy, right?

I followed behind Dezba, letting him lead me on, my hands firmly attached to his reins. I moved by reaction, not really seeing where I was putting my feet. I wasn't even vaguely aware that I had put my feet somewhere. But I did know that I was walking somewhere with Dezba as my guide. In that thought, I was comforted, until my mind found its way back to those delusional moments of happiness spent at the sides of Yuna and Paine.

How couldn't I have seen it? The Gullwings couldn't have lasted forever. There had to be more to life that finding old spheres about Spira's past, right? But I was content in believing that we would always have one another, even in the aftermath of our inevitable departure. I could accept us breaking up, if we could remain friends. Those two were really all I had; they were another part of my family. Living in a world where they didn't want me—if I had known that was to be my fate, I'd have fought harder to make myself more important. I'd have done just about anything to keep their focus on me. I wanted them to remember me because I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't worth their love anymore.

Yet I was living and breathing and walking around. Barely I reminded myself, but still. I was doing something that was worthwhile; I was doing something that could be defined as me trying to continue in my old ways. It was hard without them, but I managed somehow. I kept moving forward because I couldn't linger in the past. It was too painful thinking of them and how happy we'd once been.

I kept walking and only noticed that Dezba stopped when the reins in my hand caused a slight pressure. I stopped and turned, facing the brightly colored bird. When I saw he wasn't looking at me, I wondered what his focus had gathered on. Returning to the forward position, I suddenly found myself wishing that I hadn't. Apparently, the gigantic monster that the old man had warned me about was an old, ancient sort of fiend…the same one I happened to have run into.

It was an earthworm. Or at least, it would have been, except for the giant metallic black spikes that were poking out from the giant collar it had tightly wrapped around its midsection. Its gaping, black hole for a mouth waited openly, waiting to devour anything foolish enough to get caught and swallowed. When I roared, I had to dodge flying bits of acidic spit that burned itself into the sand. I cringed at the thought of that having been me.

"So much for being careful," I grumbled, immediately taking a defensive position.

From what I could tell, the giant worm was using an underground tunnel system to maneuver through the vast desert. How it found me, I wasn't sure. It couldn't have been from my heat signature; more people would have been "missing." Giving up on trying to figure out its M.O., I found myself focusing on a weak point, of which I found none.

It gave a menacing growl before sinking back into the ground. For something so big, I was impressed at how swiftly and gracefully he moved. Of course, that was immediately brought to a stop when the giant beast reared its ugly head against, plunging upwards into the upper air again. I barely managed to evade his dangerous spikes. I received help from Dezba, who had the sense enough to snag me by the hair and pull me from harm. I breathed my thanks to my companion, trying to keep my mind focused. Fighting this wasn't going to be easy, especially since he had home field advantage.

"All right—let's mix and match," I said, immediately activating my Alchemist dress sphere.

Sure, I was all on my own and Alchemist, a support class, naturally, had to be the only _other_ sphere I had—where White Mage was the other. I was digging. I only ever needed healing and support. Fighting was not an option. Who the hell suspected some thirty-foot mega-worm to attack?

Dezba chirped desperately, snagging my shoulder pad and slinging me out of the way. He dodged easily, whereas I would have been dead meat. The worm had resurfaced again and when he found I was still alive, he buried his massive body back into the sand. Peering up at Dezba, I smiled slightly. Sure, we might die from taking on a worm all on our own, but we at least had to try, right?

I hopped onto his back, kicking loose the trolley of machina and old parts, before we rushed off, in the opposite direction of the digging cite. I would be damned if he swallowed up some of my friends. Apparently, he took the bait; Dezba dipped and dodged agilely, while I spent my time trying to remember mixtures for certain offensive items. I hadn't battled any fiends in so long—at least none that actually required me having to do anything—that I might have been a tad bit rusty. Nevertheless, I wasn't giving up that easily. A Gullwing never gives up!

When the giant fiend thrust itself into the air again, I chucked two Brimstones and an Abaddon Flame at the oversized brute, managing to put him to sleep above ground where he was an easy target for me and Dezba's easy maneuvering skills. Using my heightened abilities, I snagged a Potion and a Bomb Core and combined them in that order. What I saw was a bright and brilliant display of fire mastery, each assault more devastating than the last. I realized why this fiend might have been a problem. Anyone without some sort of mage was in trouble; his thick armor made his physical resistance unbelievably high. To magic, however, he was just another squishy class.

The fiend hunched over. He held all the symptoms of near defeat. I myself was tired out. Sure it looks easy, but fighting fiends and dodging their attacks wasn't so easy as pressing a button here or moving an analog control stick there. It was actual work, I'll have you know. But I was so close to my goal that I could taste it, especially since the adrenaline was pumping itself ragged through my veins, pounding loudly in my ears. I prepared myself for the finishing act to this abominable fiend.

"So who's ready for a little Rikku Surprise?" I said, mimicking my old horribly assigned catch phrases made to match my class and personality. Overall, I had to admit they failed.

I reached into my bag and pulled from it a Holy Water and an Ice Gem. It took me a while, but when I remembered what the combination made, I quickly pulled them together in anatomic harmony before I unleashed the devastating creation on the now dazed fiend. He'd never see it coming, I thought as I chucked the dangerous duality of items at his massive form.

Before I knew it, the sky opened up and white beams of light slashed through the gigantic worm, piercing through his otherwise impenetrable hide easily. I cheered in my tiny victory, unable to contain my joy. It was quickly killed, however, when the strange beast used an unknown attack on me. He shot forth three of his dangerous spikes. Two of them Dezba and I managed to avoid easily, but at the last moment, the beast unleashed an earth-based attack. Dezba lost his footing and I barely managed to lean back and avoid the majority of the attack.

I was hit, however. I was slung to the ground, a large, bleeding gash now marking up my otherwise flawless abdomen. I tried moving, but found the pain unbearable. I immediately assumed I would be devoured alongside my companion, which, when you think about it, isn't really a bad way to go. I smiled at the prospect of not having to leave the world alone. But when I didn't feel myself swallowed up into a bottomless pit, I had to open my eyes, if only to banish the illusion.

What I saw I hadn't expected. Apparently, like the giant Behemoth, this devilish had a kill-finish. Whenever he was defeated, he'd unleash a devastating final attack. I had to admit that if I ever got killed or something like that, I'd want to have one of those. If I'm going, I might as well try to take out whatever fiend it was that tried taking me out too, right? The pyreflies rose up in a swirling rive of light before dispersing, swept away in the sudden wind.

"Rikku! Hey, Rikku!" one of the Al Bhed called, rushing towards me from one of the digging cites, I assumed.

Peering over to where the voice was coming from, I realized I was no longer in any mortal danger. I got to my feet, dusted the sand from my body and walked over to Dezba, who was very happy to see me. He nudged his beak against my face in his friendly show of affection and I returned the kind gesture with one of my own. I smiled at him and he gave me his best impression, which made me laugh.

"Wow! Rikku you were so awesome!" he cheered, his face aglow with excitement. He was little more than a teenager. The same went for his friend.

"Yeah, Rikku! You were awesome! I wish we could be as epic as you! I've never seen any of the other Al Bhed make fiend-fighting look so good," he chimed in.

"Well, when you're good, you're good," I admitted, a glimmer of my old self returning to the foreground. I pranced about happily, bathing in their innocent attention. I listened as they went on and on about how wonderful I was, while slowly walking back towards my things.

"Hey, Rikku—do you think you could teach us how to do that?" the youngest boy asked, his voice pitching with anticipation.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind," I found myself lying to him.

I moved my trolley back into one of my favorite dig cites. Now that things were safe, there was no reason for me not to go back to normal, right? It was then that I remembered my earlier wound, which was slowly gushing a ruby-red liquid down the front of my shorts. The two boys seemed to have noticed. Together, they led me back to a small tent in which we found their mother. She took me to another room and began bandaging my wound.

"Thank you very much, ma'am," I mumbled under my breath.

"Think nothing of it," she said politely, though hers wasn't forced. "Besides, you saved my boys for me. I think I'm the one who should be saying thank you."

After I was all healed up, the woman walked us back to her home, a tiny thing on the edge of the digging cite excavation project. She was well within the realm of safety, despite that tiny little fiend who'd found his way into our defenses. She welcomed me in and I felt compelled to say yet, though I wasn't forcing myself into something I really didn't want any part of. In fact, it felt natural to stay there with that woman and her two sons. So we sat in one room, sipping at some cool liquid or another.

In the same room, the two boys were still going on about my epic-ness, a melody I'd never get tired of hearing. I found myself basking in their attention for nearly an hour, Dezba now resting his head on my chest. I felt welcomed there, like someone actually wanted me there. So I stayed for that reason. Who was I to deny them? It wasn't like I was missing out on anything else important. I wish I could have stayed forever. I would have liked that. But the conversation suddenly took a turn down a road I wasn't allowed to travel.

"Yeah! I bet you she could have beaten that fiend in one round if Lady Yuna and Paine had been there," I overheard one of the boys saying and immediately, I felt the pain swell up in my heart.

I visibly paled and the woman must have guessed the reason, even if her boys hadn't. I got to my feet and quickly excused myself, making up some lie about needing to return my parts to the old man back near the digging project. The woman smiled and walked me to the door, her boys still rambling on about the previous works of the infamous sphere-hunters, YRP. It tore at my heart, my legs buckling beneath me. I couldn't get out of the house fast enough.

_That was close,_ I breathed, the loud clatter of machina parts drowning out the rest of the world's bubbly noises. I wasn't fast enough, however. A painfully debilitating throb rushed through my insides, tearing apart a hole, making it into a much larger, much more painful gash that was not going to be easy to repair. I doubled over in pain before crashing to my knees, my hand still clutched tightly to my chest.

The reason I avoided interacting with others suddenly reared its ugly head. I couldn't bear to think that they were happy without me there. I couldn't process that information properly without causing myself major damage. Knowing that we were in the same world and so many worlds away made my lungs collapse. I didn't want to know that they could be all right with me trapped in some time vortex. I didn't want to know about their lives. I didn't want to ever remember that we had been so close and now we had been reduced to something just barely above acquaintances. I didn't want to know that we lived in the same world like we didn't even know one another. I didn't want to know that in some twisted version of reality, we weren't YRP and we weren't even friends.

I just didn't want to know.

I couldn't bear to know that it was reality, my reality above all else. This was what I was now forced to live with, even if it wasn't something I could ever come to accept. It was the truth. The truth couldn't be denied once it was breathed into reality. That's why I never wanted to think about it. That was my reason for never wanting to talk about it. If I never had to say it, then that maybe it that less true.

Tears swelled up in my eyes and tried my best to wipe them away. What I hadn't expected was the strangled whimper that floated from my lips and exploded into the open air. When the two boys who'd been there to see me in action came to see where I'd run off to, surely they'd find me like this, sprawled out in tears in the midst of a messy pile of machina parts. In fact, that's exactly what happened. Standing atop my pile of machina to see me, their faces filled with worry. From their angle, I could only imagine what they were seeing. My emotion-ridden face must have looked awful as it scrunched up, my attempt to slow if not stop the stream of salty tears. And in this, I shuddered uncontrollably, my mind shattering at the thought of seeming weak in the eyes of others. The last thing I ever wanted from anyone was pity. I didn't want to become a pitiable being. I was too bold for that.

I wiped my face dry with my arm, closing my eyes shut to prevent the flow of any more tears. I didn't want their pity—I didn't earn it. I didn't need it. I was doing all right by myself, I tried to remember. I didn't need that. I didn't need that from anyone. Getting to my shaky legs, I stood tall, despite my somewhat short stature. Turning to face the boys, I did my best to keep from breaking. I succeeded and not even I could tell you how. My dirty face was streaked from where the tears had fallen, but my sullen gaze prevented either of them from asking if I was all right. I sent them away with a determined gaze, only to sink back down into my pile of machina.

Dezba ran to my side and settled down beside me. When I had no one else, I talked to him. I was by myself more than anyone could have guessed. So for me, in my days of depression and my sullen, withdrawn demeanor towards the world, he was the perfect companion. He was there for me when I needed him, his shoulder always there for me to cry on. And now, when I needed him the most, Dezba was there, his head perched on my shoulder as he did his best to soothe me with his high-pitched purring sounds and gentle nuzzling. I fell into him, his strong body the only support I had left to me.

"Dezba," I croaked, the words failing me, even as I tried to murmur them. I could do nothing but stroke his face, leaning against him as I tried sifting through my tumultuous mind, my thoughts scattered about strangely.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, leaning against my sturdy steed. I didn't notice too much of anything until the sun had finally set and the uninterested man from before was making his final rounds, calling in wayward diggers.

"Rikku," he said, standing right in front of me.

When he caught me attention, he did his best to suppress a worried, father-like frown that was better suited for Cid anyway. Instead, he just gave me fussy eyes that urged me to my feet. I stood there under his gaze, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other as I had nothing better to do. I refused to meet his gaze, knowing that I wouldn't like what I'd see in his swirling green pools. He reminded me too much of Cid as it was, I didn't need any further reminders.

"This morning, when we talked, were you listening to anything I had to say? I thought I told you to be careful."

I knew he was looking at the large, white, sand-smudged bandage now adorned on my upper-left side. I cringed under his scrutiny, as if his penetrating gaze was causing the pain to blare loudly and resonate its threat throughout the rest of my body. I felt my legs buckle from the pain, but I used Dezba for support, which he must have noticed. He merely turned away from me and went back to making his rounds. Sighing in relief at his departure, I turned a happier smile to Dezba, who cheered loudly at this, leaping several inches off the ground.

"Are you ready to go home?" I asked him, running my fingers through his golden halo of soft feathers. He chirped again, his melodious tune filling me up with joy. Climbing onto his back, I smiled happily and stored my tools into the satchel on his right side. "Let's go," I said to him, leaning forward to wrap my arms around his neck.

The wind whipped through my hair like a joyous torrent of emotion. I felt myself smile, a rare feat that I only seemed capable of in the lacking presence of people. With Dezba, I found it was rather easy to let go of my inhibitions and just live in the moments I spent with him. I found that it was much easier that way. Living from moment to moment was too painful; it required too much forethought. I didn't have the patience.

We arrived at the tent too quickly for my liking. When the wind stopped whipping through me, I knew it was over. I dismounted and turned to Dezba with a furtive glance. He chirped again, knowing what my shifty eyes were implying.

Cid was impartial to chocobos. He understood that they were agile, strong birds and could only ever understand their ability to benefit his plans. He thought, at first, that my reason for liking them was the same. However, when he saw Dezba in my room one night, he and I had a firm talking over, or whatever you call those sorts of things. He explained to me that even though Dezba was "my" chocobo, that didn't give me the right to have him on the ship. Of course, who ever listens to what their parents have to say?

I snuck Dezba on behind me, knowing everyone else had already headed to bed. He followed behind me like the thought-obedient, like-minded companion that he was, nudging me along when he knew that no one was waiting for us around the corner. We made it to my room, where I was greeted with a black expression, usually hidden behind a body suit and mask. In my room was Shinra, sitting contently on my bed, as if he'd been waiting there this whole for me to come back. In his hand, there was a bundle of something I couldn't quite see.

"I was wondering if you decided to skip out on us," he said casually.

He sat there on my bed, swinging his legs happily over the edge, as though he hadn't broken into my room and invaded my personal privacy. I was a girl after all' there was no telling what was going on in his dirty little mind. I shuddered at the thought and that made me indignant. How dare he go snooping through my things! I later realized how easily I could jump to invalid and completely unfounded conclusions with just the tiniest bit of information. I guess that's a bad trait?

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, forgetting to pretend to be the real Rikku. I was livid at him for poking his nose where it didn't belong.

Holding the letters in his hand up, he said, "I…found these. I've been collecting them for you. I thought you might want to read them."

"Who asked you?" I snapped, immediately regretting the tone of my voice when he jumped slightly, recoiling from the venom so noticeably tingeing my voice.

But he didn't say anything. He got to his feet and made his way for the door, pausing for just a moment to put the collected letters atop my dresser. He walked right past me, his heavy breathing the only other sound aside from Dezba's flitting wings. When he stopped, his hand was on the doorknob, half turned, almost as if in the middle of it all, a very peculiar thought came to him. That might have been the case, given the awkward angle at which he turned to face me.

"Running away from your problems doesn't solve anything. In fact, it very well makes the problem that much worse," Shinra said. Even though I couldn't see him, I could feel his bright Al Bhed eyes glued to mine. I trembled in that knowledge. "You can run away for as long as you want, Rikku, but eventually, your problem will catch up to you. There's no way someone as small as you can run away from something so astronomical. It's impossible."

"I didn't ask for your help," I whimpered, my voice on the verge of cracking.

"Real friends don't wait to be asked," he said, the door closing behind him.

I moved towards my dresser and skimmed through the letters. When I saw familiar names of those few people I hadn't needed to block out, the letters fell from my hands in flutteringly slow swifts. My hands shook in the absence of something to hold. My companion squeaked his concern and had to stop me from breaking through the wall. With his large, worried brown eyes boring into me, I came crashing back to Spira.

Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri had all sent me letters, multiple ones and had been doing so for nearly a year. I'd done the same with them, the same as I'd done with Paine and Yuna. Slowly, as they made their lives worthwhile, I let them in less and less until finally, I didn't want anything to do with them. I stopped writing to them altogether, figuring that it was better than being so very dishonest with people who didn't deserve as much. It was painful living a lie and it was even more so having to write it all out on paper. So I didn't. Instead, I avoided them and tossed their letters away, acting as if I'd never gotten them.

I'd forgotten about them honestly, both the letters and the people who'd sent them to me. It was easier that way I kept reminding myself. It was easier, in the end, to act like none of us had ever crossed path. In truth, I acted like they hadn't been apart of my life, either. I knew that was silly, but I tried to put off my pain, if only for a moment. Looking at them now with Dezba beside me, I couldn't pretend anymore. They were there, somewhere in the world, just like me. No matter how much I wanted to deny that fact—no matter how much I avoided making it real, it was there—the truth was staring me in the face.

Dezba chirped quietly beside me, smashing his face against cheek in an affectionate way. He caught me by surprise, but I quickly regained my composure. Grasping at him for support, I buried my face into the side of his neck, trying my best to fight off the tears that stung at the sides of my eyes.

"Why can't I keep it together? Why can't I just…forget?"

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Author's Note: Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed the second chapter. If Rikku seems a bit depressed, remember there is a reason for this. Like I've previously mentioned, she feels a tad out of stock with her two best friends acting like she doesn't exist. Wouldn't you? Now, onto the next chapter.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	3. Pale Hallucinations

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Chapter 3: Pale Hallucinations 

Shinra's uncharacteristically deep revelation kept me up through most of the night. Despite having Dezba there to keep me company, I couldn't shake the strange feeling that was bubbling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe avoiding the problem _wasn't_ the best way of going about a solution. Maybe there was a much less painful means to and end, where my only goal was the ending of such a fierce pang in my chest. Perhaps if I just talked it out with either one of them, then they could see my problem through my eyes and we could solve it like adults. On the one hand, that seemed logical, but when had I—Rikku the Al Bhed Princess—ever been that sort of person? Of course, I was taking advice from a twelve year-old Al Bhed genius whose answer to anything complicated was, "Hey. I'm just a kid."

I gave a grumpy sigh the next morning, curling up beside Dezba, who had slept about as much as me. See, what did I tell you? He's a perfect companion. Naturally, I felt guilty for not letting him get any sleep. He had worked hard last night, what with saving my life and all that. He deserved some sort of compensation. So I shot up suddenly, enough so that he gave one of his indignant growls, his golden wings fluttering his displeasure. I soothed him with a warm smile and a gentle hand to his beak before I dashed for the door.

In my room, I hadn't realized how early it actually was. I knew it was early, but not _this _early. The ship was still quiet, its engine rumbling silently through the sandy desert as we hovered just a few inches off the ground, enough so that if a fiend attacked, we could be airborne without any sort of hassle. It was an odd feeling, roaming about the Celsius in complete and total darkness. I knew my way around so well, however, with or without light, I could manage.

Eventually, with some very epic maneuvering skills, I found my way to the bar and back. I was on my way back to my room already, two bowls of food in either hand, when I happened to run into none other than Cid. Despite his usually grumpy disposition, he was actually a very mellow morning person. Cursing my luck, I put on my most innocent smile and tried to feign ignorance when he gave the two bowls in my hand an awkward glance.

"What's that for?" I asked, still pretending to not know what was going on.

"You're such a pig," he grumbled, walking past me towards the kitchen/bar area. He stopped halfway down the hallway, like he was contemplating something.

"What is it, Pops?"

"Later today…I need you to run to Luca for me. I'm having a package delivered there and I need someone I can trust to go and get it," he said offhandedly. "So whenever you're ready, I'll tell you where in Luca you're going. So be ready."

"Like…uhm…when?" I asked, perplexed.

"I guess around the same time you go to work—whenever that particular time is. Anyway, I'll be down at the dig. Just come down there and I'll give you the directions to the place," he said before disappearing into the elevator shaft.

My face twisted up in confusion, but I shrugged it off. If he wanted someone to get something from Luca, why not send one of his other cronies? I know he had like a dozen. On the other hand, he did say someone he could trust. Still, that left quite a handful of people in his little regiment of Al Bhed lackeys. That even left his son and Buddy, whom he thought of like a son. If anything, I would think he'd want to keep a close eye on me, given my recent spiral of some fit of depression, which everyone assumed was getting to be too much for me. Then an odd and quite valid thought hit me. The incident yesterday might have scared him just a bit. He was my dad, after all, and I could see his need to protect me from similar events.

I smiled and decided that I liked that theory best. It made me feel loved, something I was having a hard time with. That put a bounce in my step as I headed back towards my room, where my loving Dezba would be waiting patiently, happy to see me returned. When I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me, Dezba peered up from his semi-sleeping state and smiled at me, if you would call it that. Even if you don't, I do. I smiled back at him, my swirling eyes coming to life at the sight of my golden stallion.

"Did you miss me, Dezba?" I asked, plopping down beside him. I pushed a bowl towards him and gave another happy smile. He chirped at me, seemingly pleased. "Yes, I brought that for you. Think of it as…payment for staying up with me all night and not being a meanie about it in the morning."

Meanie. I hadn't used that word in so long that it seemed foreign to me. But when I used it just then, it felt so right. Maybe there was a better way to handle my problem than just to run away from it. I could face it head on, so long as I had Dezba and Pops and Shinra. I smiled at the thought of the little Al Bhed, wondering how extensive his genius truly was. I wondered if he was an expert on social interactions, too?

I didn't have time to give the young Al Bhed any thought. My stomach growled loudly and stole my attention away. It was indignant; I hadn't eaten last night and now I was using my time to think instead of feeding its craving. The nerve of myself, right? I sighed and shoveled down a spoonful of hash browns and sausage gleefully, Dezba having buried his face into his bowl already. Glancing over at him as I chewed, I couldn't help but laugh. For a bird, he was pretty amusing, especially the way his feathers were now jutting out around his head at odd angles.

Although I tried to stifle a laugh, I all but failed, casually burying my face into my arm. My feathery companion peered up from his bowl and snipped his beak at me huffily, even though his eyes were light and playful. I gave him my best apology and smiled at him before I ran my fingers through his feathers, removing bits of potato as I went along. He seemed pleased by this slight pampering, leaning into my hand, encouraging me to continue. And I did, eliciting a pleasant, purring sound. Again I laughed, but this time he simply clucked along with me.

-----------------------------------------------------

After I finished showering—never surprised by the massive amounts of sand that seemed to cling to my body after a nice rolling around in the desert—I took Dezba with me to Cid's tent, the big one in the middle of the digging project. I walked slowly down the stone path leading from the Celsius to where he'd asked me to come, Dezba nudging me on ever so often when my pace slowed and caused him to bump into my back gently. He wasn't impatient with me. I think, more or less, he was just concerned. I couldn't blame him; even though he was by far my favorite person, my time with him didn't linger beyond necessity. The fun we used to have wasn't as reckless as it had been. He might have thought me less fond of him, which could never be the case.

As we walked, I bit my bottom lip thoughtfully, Dezba still following behind me quietly. It was a strange thought I had, but it was a thought nevertheless. I did enjoy his company, more so than I should have, likely. But he made me feel better, made feel human again. I smiled as we walked together, more grateful to him that I would have thought possible. He nudged me again, this time more playfully, and I took the hint. He had come to the same conclusion. It might not have been a wise choice, running away from my problems, but at least, I didn't have to deal with them immediately. I could take them on at my own pace; I could take them as they came.

"What should I care anyway?" I asked of myself indignantly, some new sensation overcoming my senses. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face Dezba, who seemed wary of the tone in my voice. "Why should I be feeling sorry? I didn't abandon them—I did my best to keep in touch. If they don't want to let me know what's important in their lives, then why should I be the one feeling bad?"

I sighed and turned back, now facing the direction of the dig cite. If running away solves nothing, then maybe I'll just forget about it altogether. Maybe I can pretend that I'm not in pain anymore. Maybe I can go on living my life like they did—they make it look so easy. If they can do it, then so can I. I don't have to be upset anymore; I don't even have to feel sorry for what I've lost. I don't have to feel sorry for myself, either. I'm not the one who's done the bad thing here. I'm the victim—but that doesn't mean I have to act like one. I don't want to be pitied and I don't want people to look at me strangely. I want to be me again.

I want to be Rikku, the real Rikku.

I turned to look at Dezba, who was chasing a white butterfly around happily, his thoughts entirely focused on the flapping white wings. I smiled at his childish antics and remembered a time when that would have been me. The weight of the word always weighed heavily on my shoulders, but never once did I let that get to me. I always had to the merriest one—I was the source of sunshine and laughter. Or at least, I had been. What happened to that Rikku? That was the Rikku I wanted to be.

"Well why can't I? I can have pain and still be happy can't I? Or maybe, because I have pain I have to have happiness? If all I have is myself, I wonder if that's enough?" At this, Dezba gave me a rare chirp and a sullen glance. "Well, of course I have you, Dezba," I said. "Who else is going to laugh at my corny jokes? But being alone—or without others—that doesn't make for an unhappy life."

Paine and Yuna were my best friends, but they made it perfectly clear that I was no longer an important part of their lives. If that was what they wanted, then who was I to deny them? The time we spent together would be cherished, but that was all. I didn't need them to support me through this life. I'd made it an entire year without them, hadn't I? My world hadn't stopped spinning. It might have slowed, but that was my own doing. I didn't have to worry about that anymore. I wanted to be done with that. I wanted to move on, so that was what I would do. I would move on with life and remove myself from this sticky, meanie rut in life. It was just that simple.

The biggest obstacles in my way were Paine and Yuna, but I didn't have to worry about them. I wouldn't concern myself with how they fit into my life. Not just yet. I didn't have to. I'm not ready to handle that just yet. I'll get around to them, but for now, I wanted to be happy. I didn't want to be stuck in some miserable rut while other people were getting on with their lives. If they could sleep at night soundly and not toss and turn and lose sleep, then why couldn't I—the victim here—do the same?

"If I want to be happy, then why shouldn't I?" I said aloud to my companion.

Dezba clucked happily again. I guess he had the right to be. My depression spell had spanned itself widely, casting a dark cloud over the last six or so months of my life. I was bored of that feeling. I didn't want to be depressed anymore. Sure, it's easier said than done, but at least if I'm trying, then I can say that I'm doing something. Sitting around, waiting for someone to rescue me from my despair wasn't what I wanted. I'd never needed anyone to save me from myself before, so why should I start depending on others for such a trivial task now?

I decided that I didn't need anyone to save me. There was nothing to save me from. I could do this if I tried hard enough. If I didn't give up, then I could forget about this pain. I could learn to move on with my story and live my life the way I wanted. I didn't have to put my life on pause just because they wanted to be vague and occasionally grace me with an empty, emotionally devoid letter that spoke much of trivial, insignificant things. I had better things to do with my time.

I marched happily towards Cid's tent, a jovial bounce in every step. I practically skipped there with Dezba, who followed behind me in the same boisterously wonderful prance. We laughed together—rather, I laughed, he clucked nosily, though I welcomed the sound, which felt fresh against recently deaf ears. The world seemed brighter then and for the first time in months, I didn't feel the nagging, gnawing pain ripping at my chest.

Getting over rejection in any form was hard. But it wasn't impossible. Hell, I'd saved Spira from destruction, an impossible feat all by itself, and I'd managed to do it twice! Getting over a broken heart wasn't nearly as hard, physically, but the same rules applied. I could get over it, if I took it apart one piece at a time. Triumphantly, I came to this conclusion and was very happy with the idea of vanquishing my evil Rikku, happy to return the proper Rikku to her throne as Miss Sunshine.

I felt like a kid again, not an emotionally inept adult, something that I feared. That was a start in the right direction, right?

I arrived inside of Pops' tent in less than three minutes from departing from the Celsius. Yes, I had indeed managed to have a mid-life crisis change of heart in under three minutes. What can I say? I'm fabulous. But this is hardly the point, that is, we're not here to talk about how fickle my emotions can be or how topsy-turvy I am when it comes to making up my mind to be depressed or otherwise. If you really want to know, I just got tired of feeling bad for myself. I guess Shinra was right—I can't just keeping running away from something that's chasing me. Eventually, I'm going to get tired and then where does that leave me? Tired and having to face my fears while fatigued? It was time for me to act like an adult—yuck—and handle all of my problems.

But, like I was saying, I made it to Cid's tent in under three minutes—a new world record for, if I may say so myself. I was so overly pleased with myself that I didn't notice the strange glances I was receiving from the old men standing around the tent, all of them looking and acting the same as my old man. When I did finally notice, I scrunched up my face in utter confusion and made a pouting sound.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked, my voice lighthearted and playful, just like it had always been.

Cid was the first one to break the silence. He walked around the table and gently put his hands on my shoulders. Staring deeply into my eyes, which were more like his than anyone else's, he smiled awkwardly and released his hold on me. Whatever he was going to say was lost in the intensity of the moment.

"Spit it out already, Pops!" I squealed. Jokingly, I added, "Coeurl got your tongue?"

Cid's bottom lip stiffened, as did his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. He stood back on one leg, looking me up and down. Something in his eyes wasn't settling right with me. It was almost as if he couldn't trust his eyes, so he relied on his other senses, believing his eyes had finally failed him. When he noticed no discrepancies, however, he had to glance over me once more, just to be sure. I looked like Rikku, or, I'd always looked like his Rikku, but I hadn't actually been Rikku in such a long time that he was skeptical. That was what I got from the curious flicker in his eyes anyway.

"Uh, Rikku? Do you know where you are? You know you're awake, right?" he asked, his voice was still hesitant, though.

"Uh, duh," I said, putting my hands on my hips as I leaned closer to him, quirking my brow in his face.

"Are you feeling all right—maybe you're feeling a little under the weather? Quick, tell me, do you have a fever?" He asked, reaching his hand out to touch my forehead, but I parried him playfully.

"Get over it, Pops. I'm just in a really good mood. I'm feeling like my old self again," I said as I gave myself a hug.

The other old men in the tent shared a look before they all turned their attention back to Cid, who was still searching his brain for something to say. When he found nothing, I guess, he just shrugged and went back to standing where he had been when I first walked in. I smiled at him brightly, no longer forced and I think he could tell. His eyes softened and his arms grew slack, falling to his side.

"All right, Rikku, like I told ya earlier, I've got something that needs pickin' up. You're gonna head over to Luca and get it for me. Apparently, Miss Rosemary has it for me," Cid said, and I couldn't help but notice the cute shade of pink his cheeks turned whenever he mentioned the woman, owner of a nice flower boutique. "Like I was saying," he said gruffly. "She has this thing that I need, this package. Run over there, get it and bring it back."

"Right-o," I said, saluting him with a wide, toothy grin. Smiling like an idiot, I turned on my heel and departed, dashing out into the open air, where Dezba was waiting for me.

"Looks like we're off to Luca," I told him, happily pulling his face between my hands to nuzzle him affectionately.

-----------------------------------------------------

Luca was just like I remembered it. Busy streets filled with people watching acrobatically agile performances near the dock, children running their parents ragged to fulfill their every little need and of course, Blitzball fans roaming the vast streets in awed wonder. There was the occasional Sphere Breaker, but they found a new place to roam, I was sure. Luca was the home of Blitzball.

Dezba and I arrived inside Luca around mid-morning, though I figured it had to be closer to the afternoon, since I was feeling so lazy. Another day off from work would do me some good, given my most recent revelation.

As we walked through the bustling city, we received rare looks from the older people and big, glamorous smiles from the younger people, many of them performers. Either they liked my chocobo—who I had adorned with several of the cutest fashion trends in the world, from studded ankle bracers to an intricately woven headdress—or the recognized me as one of the Gullwings. I prayed it wasn't the latter.

We continued on and people cheered at my fancy chocobo and for a while, I believe that my little Dezba liked the attention. He was always special to me, but I think of all the Al Bhed there, I was the only one who thought so. To everyone else, he was just a pack mule. But to me, he was a magnificent creature, a beautiful creature. He was my Dezba and that made him special.

"Hey! Momma! Look at her chocobo!" one boy said loudly, pointing at me from his father's shoulders as we walked past them. "He's so pretty! Momma, can't I have one just like hers? Oh please, Momma?"

The mother looked amused and she reminded me of the woman from yesterday. I smiled sadly, remembering how I had just run out of her house after she'd been so nice to me. I kinda owe her an apology. Nervously, I directed Dezba towards the lesser-filled part of Luca, using my legs instead of my hands as a gentle, pushing guide. He complied subconsciously; it was usually how we reacted to one another. We'd spent so much time together that things of that sort had become second nature to us after a while. It was just something we knew how to do, even if we'd never become fully aware of learning how to do it.

For a while, we just traveled around the vast port city, taking in all of the wonderful sights with hungry eyes. We gobbled up the elusive Blitzball stadium and gorged ourselves full with the colorfully decorated market place. We were full with the beautiful city, though I wouldn't have minded seeing a little more.

"You're as greedy as they come," a soft voice mused from behind me.

Turning Dezba around, I saw a slender woman in her late forties. She smiled when our eyes met and I couldn't help but return the open-handed gesture. She'd always been so kind to me, even when everyone else was too worried about being on the receiving end of my bad temper to make a notion towards me. I think that's why I liked her so much. Despite my dejected and ornery attitude as of late, she never once faltered and never pretended that I wasn't in the same room. I think that's why Cid liked her so much, too. She was an older version of me, all smiles and sunshine no matter what.

"Hello, Miss Rosemary," I said, jumping down from my mount on Dezba's back. He chirped at her happily too, rushing to greet her with his affectionate beak nuzzling.

"Hello, Rikku," she said politely. Taking Dezba into her arms, she gave him a warm hug and another of her wonderful smiles. "Hello to you, too, Dezba. It's been a long time since I've seen either of you. But, I'll admit, you're looking better, Rikku. You look more determined than I've seen you look in a long time."

She regarded me with her deep, swirling eyes and under her intent gaze, I was bashful. When you're caught in the middle of something, in the middle of such a treacherous storm, you can't see past the storm to see the damage that's been caused. It's only in the aftermath of all the despair that you realize how important everything was that you destroyed. I guess I'd gotten caught up in my own dismal existence, too.

"I've…decided that I can't spend all of my time trying to figure out things that don't make sense," I said, choosing my words carefully.

"Let's talk inside," she said, turning so that we could follow her into the wonderful boutique made of beauty.

Inside of the flower shop, aside from the lovely flowers that stemmed tactfully from every corner of the store, there was a counter, a wooden table and several round-seated chairs that were strewn carelessly around the room in a rather unique design. The floor was made of tile, the outer edges coming together to make a beautiful mosaic of a color, legendary flower. Each time I saw that beautiful floor, I couldn't help but light up with joyful curiosity, no matter how depressed I'd become.

Rosemary lived upstairs, granting her an easy morning transaction between work and home. In fact, she'd even integrated some of her home things with the shop, including the lovely little teakettle that was pushed into a tiny fireplace, pushed away from the delicate flowers. It sat on the other side of the rather comfortably sized boutique. Rosemary lived upstairs. To get there, all one had to do was go into the back of the boutique and follow the tidy wooden stairs up. There, she had her bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and even a quaint living room. One could not expect less of Rosemary, who'd dedicated her life to seeing the beauty in everything. Her eyes, well aged and experienced, had seen an entire lifetime of beauty and I envied her for that.

"Have a seat," she said, indicating one of the chairs. As I went to take a seat, Dezba following behind me, she made a move towards the kettle, took two mugs out and poured water into the colorful mugs. "The last time we talked, you actually opened up some. Today, I don't think that will be a problem. So, talk."

"I told you about Paine and Yuna the last time I was here," I said hesitantly, vaguely recalling the last time I'd visited, nearly two months ago. Cid had me running an errand back then, too. "Well, like I said before, I'm not feeling inclined to talk to them. I feel as though they've cut me from their lives."

"That caused you a great deal of pain," she said, setting the mug in front of me. "That is easy to understand. They were your two best friends, weren't they?"

"That's right."

"Did you try talking to them about it?"

"There wasn't any point, or at least, if there was, I didn't see it. Besides, they seemed happy. I couldn't let my problems ruin their lives. I wanted them to have a chance at a normal life and everything, you know? It would have been selfish of me to complain about missing them. I couldn't do that to them—they're my best friends," I sighed, wrapping my hands around the mug before me. "I just wanted them to be happy."

"Thinking about the needs of others before the needs of one's self is a noble trait, Rikku. But, if you forget to take care of yourself, then you've no one to blame but yourself. The pain you are feeling is your need to be selfish, a need that you're denying," Rosemary said, taking a timid sip from her mug. "If you never address the problem, then it won't ever work itself out. That is detrimental to your health, Rikku."

"That's kinda what Shinra said," I admitted begrudgingly.

"He's a smart kid. And he's obviously worried about you. Someone has to make sure you don't just go running away from things that scare you. Do you remember how you got over your fear of lightning?" she asked.

"I camped out in the Thunder Plains," I said. Offhandedly, I added, "For a week."

"The same is true for your fear of rejection. That is what you're afraid of. You don't worry that your friends have abandoned you because you haven't been faced with that thought. You're afraid of knowing the truth, Rikku, so you assume things, things that may or may not be true. That gives you a false sense of comfort. It allowed you to be numb. You turned you aloneness into something stronger, something you could use to free yourself from the pain of being in the world without your friends close to you."

"Is it so bad…running away?" I asked, knowing that my happy bubble would burst when she answered me.

But she didn't say anything. She just looked up at me from her mug, her green, swirling eyes penetrating deeper than I would have thought possible. And then it burst open, my swollen heart throbbing painfully in my chest. She was absolutely right. Earlier, when I made my declaration, I did it because I felt sorry for myself, but I wasn't brave enough to learn the truth. So I made one up, one that would suit my needs. I lied to myself and made myself believe that they had truly forgotten about me. That gave me the strength to kick aside my sadness and act out, for I had a justifiable reason—real or otherwise. But she was right and now that I knew that, I couldn't pretend anymore.

"You have to face things head on. Assuming they no longer want to have you in their lives, does that make you feel any better? In your mind, you're still wondering if that's what really happened. You want to know—you're longing for that satisfaction. You owe it to yourself to find out the truth," Rosemary said, having grasped my trembling hands in an attempt to ease my faltering composure back into a serene state. It worked…for a while.

"I don't wanna know," I whimpered, my voice soft and so Rikku-like. "I don't wanna know the truth."

"Are you afraid?"

"If I pretend they don't want me, then at least I can act like that's a lie every now at then. I'm only pretending to be mad at them now so that I can move on with my life. If I find out the truth and it's something I can't handle, then where does that leave me?" I asked her, peering into her bright eyes that seemed to smile back at me.

"It gives you closure. One way or another, you'll be free to live your life, either building it back up into something that you like, or rekindling your lost friendship with those two people who mean the most to you," the older Al Bhed woman said, her voice strong in the presence of my faltering foundation. I drew upon her strength and found it easier to breathe. "You have to let your wounds heal, Rikku. Going on the way you're doing now, you'll only cause yourself more pain. Festering wounds bring about sickness and disease. Do you want to be the death to all of your other relationships?"

I shook my head vigorously, my braids and loose tendrils flailing about wildly in a golden flurry. I didn't want to have to live through this again and I didn't want to force anyone else to feel this kind of pain. It wasn't fair to anyone to feel so miserable.

"Get your closure. You have to at least talk to them, Rikku," she pleaded with me. "Find out the truth before you go jumping to farfetched and unfounded assumptions. You'd be surprised at how often the best intentions go awry. I'd hate to have you consumed by this pain. I don't want to lose my favorite person in the world."

Rosemary took me in her arms then and she felt very much like a mother. I embraced her and it wasn't forced or faked. I enjoyed her company and she always had a way of making me see the errors of my own ways without insulting my pride. She was a kind Al Bhed woman, one I wouldn't have minded my father marrying. I liked her very much, and she made him happy too.

"Thank you," I murmured against her shoulder, my salty tears dampening her cotton blouse. She didn't seem to mind at all; she only held me tighter. "I don't know what I'd do without you and Pops. I've felt so lost these last few months. But now…I can't run away anymore. I wanna be Rikku again. I don't want to…I want things to go back to how they used to be, even if that means that I don't have my two best friends."

"But at least you'll have yourself," she encouraged, slowly pulling away from me. She held me at arm's length and smiled, her hands on either of my shoulders. "You need yourself most."

"You're right," I agreed, nodding my head firmly. With the back of my arm, I wiped away my tears. I went over to her sink and wiped my face with cold water. "Thank you so much, Miss Rosemary."

"Think nothing of it. It's the least I can do for such a lovely young girl like you. I suppose I'm being selfish there," she said thoughtfully.

"Selfish? How?"

"I want you to feel better so that I can see your sunny smile again. You've no idea how much I've missed it. But you know, I believe it's your father who's missed it most," she said.

"Cid misses me smiling?" I blurted, outright aghast.

"Very much so. I suspect he isn't the only Al Bhed who's missed it. You're most beautiful when you're smiling Rikku. You look wonderful when you're happy," she said, cupping my cheek with her hand gently. "Don't ever forget that and don't ever let anyone stop you from smiling again."

"Yes, ma'am."

-----------------------------------------------------

I was quick to resume my usually carefree self. Rosemary made me promise to take care of myself, so I would do just that. I wouldn't do anything that was painful to me anymore. It was not like I went out my way to harm myself in the first place. More or less, I just did things and other things—usually unforeseen side affects—occurred. I had nothing to do with them. But I didn't stop them from continuing on. I just let them happen, ultimately causing myself some serious pain in the end.

Rosemary walked me to the door and waved her farewells to me, making me promise to give Cid a letter, which held a very womanly scent to it and something that resembled pouting lips. Did she kiss this frikken thing? Oh, gross! Still, I promised. Shoving it into my back pocket—unbelievable since I was wearing hardly more than Speedo-styled shorts. Still, I managed. She told me, "Take care of yourself," and then she closed the door.

Outside of the flower boutique, I strapped Cid's package to Dezba's harness, deciding it would be safer there. Anything held in my clumsy hands was bound to become broken, lost or a very dangerous combination of the two. That was another reason why Cid's initial decision to send me as an errand boy was a bit skeptical.

"All right. All systems go," I said to Dezba, my hands set firmly on my hips. "Still, I think we should get something to eat while we're here."

He chirped loudly, bouncing from foot to foot to emphasize his point, I assumed. Climbing onto his back, we began moseying through the thickly packed streets, following our loudly growling stomachs to some place familiar. Whenever we came to Luca, we always went to the same place. It wasn't that we didn't visit other places; we had but we liked our place better. That was where we were headed, or rather, it's where we would have been headed if a light, melodic voice hadn't reached my ears at that very moment.

Peering around, I caught a glimpse of a long, brown braid turning a corner. My heart stopped beating in my chest and I had to concentrate just to remember how to breathe. When I did manage to inhale, I couldn't remember why I felt so out of place.

_Was that Yuna?_

I didn't stop to weigh out my options long. Time was slowly slipping away from me. There was no telling how many twists and turns someone could take in the city of Luca. Losing someone was easy here, especially if one was allowed to be swallowed up in the messy sea of people. It was hard enough maneuvering my way through them, let alone be stuck with a task of trying to pick someone out of their messy ranks. I urged Dezba forward, uncouthly barreling through unsuspecting victims, many of them completely unscathed. However, I don't think I could say the same for that woman I just knocked over.

"Oh! Sorry about that!" I called over my shoulder, my momentum building, thought I felt like falling.

We dashed through the semi-crowded street, Dezba skidding to a halt to avoid slamming into a very tall man. I grimaced at him, my upper lip curling back to expose my teeth. _Eugh. _I quickly diverted Dezba to another pass, one that took a fairly large amount of time just to avoid that large, ogre-like man. Peering over the many heads of busily moving people, I was granted the foresight to see Yuna, who was cheerfully chatting with a much darker companion at her side.

_Paine's here too? Yuna and Paine are here…they're really here…this isn't a dream?_

I pushed Dezba forward and we made our way through the crowd of people, only this time, when I knocked someone over, I didn't bother saying sorry. I pushed onward, not caring how many people were hurt in the process. I wanted to see Paine and Yuna and tell them how I really felt. I wanted to get this off my chest before I exploded. They had the right to know, as did I.

We reached a narrow passageway that was close to the dock, where dozens of people were angrily recovering from being run over by a chocobo. When Dezba stopped, I catapulted my nimble form from his back and scraped my knee against the ground. It didn't stop me, though. I kept moving, using my hands to thrust me forward. I saw the two of them walking together, nearing the end of the narrow passage, and end that had no exit. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, rocketing closer to them, my two best friends.

"Yuna!" I cried. "Paine!"

"What do you want now?" Paine asked, turning on her heel to glare at me with her blood red eyes. I froze under her cold glare, forgetting how to breathe again. "Nobody wants you around anymore. Don't you get that? Go crawl under a rock."

"That's not nice, Paine," Yuna said and I reveled in her voice, the voice of reason. "I honestly don't think the rock would appreciate having something like her buried beneath it. I've got a better idea, though. Why not just disappear? It's much easier that way—just go away."

"Yuna? Paine? It's—it's me. It's Rikku," I pleaded, though my vision was already blurring from the tears that were swelling in my eyes, threatening to spill forward at any moment. "Why are you…why are you saying those things?"

"No one likes you," someone said behind me. I turned to see another Yuna, standing beside another Paine.

"No one wants you around," the second Paine said, her arms crossed over her chest to show her nonchalance. "Don't you get that?"

"Don't you take a hint? Stop writing us letters. No one cares about what you do in the sand. Machina aren't important," a third Yuna said, her face scrunched up into something ugly.

"You're not important," another Paine said, her back to me.

They all turned on me then, their laughing, evil faces haunting my mind. I tried to run away from them, but their fingers wrapped around my arms and legs, preventing me from fulfilling my need for flight. Fighting wasn't an option. My vision blacked out again, be it from the tears that were swelling or my mind trying to erase the ugliness of my situation. Beneath me, my legs buckled and my balance was suddenly lost. I fell to the ground, pulling my body very close to me, but I couldn't drown out the sounds of my impending doom, the shuffling of their feet growling menacingly at me.

"Kad yfyo vnus sa!" I shouted, clamping my hands over my ears, only vaguely aware that I was screaming in my native tongue. It didn't matter. I was too far-gone to think logically. It could have been possible that at least one person understood me, right? "Tuh'd lusa yho lmucan! Please…just leave me alone…"

"Rikku—just disappear!" they chanted. "Leave us alone. Get out of our lives and leave us alone."

"Mayja sa ymuha! Please, just go away and leave me alone. I don't deserve this! I don't want to hear anymore. Just go away! Go away!" I screamed again, tugging myself free from someone's grasp. It had to be one of the Yunas that was there, given that I heard a girlish gasp immediately after. "Ku yfyo!"

I felt them standing over me, their hands reaching out closer towards me. I screamed loudly into the air, flailing about madly. All the while, I kept repeating, "Ku yfyo," though I doubted anyone could hear me over the thundering roar of the _Celsius_.

-----------------------------------------------------

"What happened to her, Rosie?" I heard Cid ask, his voice shaken with worry. It was the first time I'd ever heard him be unsure of himself.

"I gave her some tea before she left. We talked and then she left. The best I can assume is that she had a bad reaction to the tea. When I found her, she was already out of it, Cid. It was Dezba who came to get me," Rosemary explained, her voice never wavering, though it was easy to tell how concerned she was.

_But I wonder who she's talking about. Did she and I rescue someone together…?_

"That damn girl," Cid cursed halfheartedly. Anyone who knew him could detect the underlying presence of his relief. "I swear, that Rikku will be the death of me, I swear it. She's always gettin herself into these messes…"

"Pa kmyt dryd cra'c ymm nekrd, Cid," Rosemary soothed, and from the silence that ensued, I assumed she'd kissed him to keep him from fussing. It was bad for his heart, after all. "She is all right now. She's here with you now. There's no need to worry anymore. So stop fussing."

Cid grumbled but didn't say another word. I could tell from the silence that Rosemary had made her point and Cid, being her lap dog, could do nothing but accept her command. But if he didn't have anything to fuss about, he was left without a life's purpose. I wish I could have seen that.

"I wonder what she was so stressed out about," someone else said, someone who sounded much closer and worried.

"Isn't it obvious? After all that we've done to her…can you blame her for cracking? Do you think either of us could have handled the same thing we did to her?" another voice asked, this one colder and aloof, like whatever was bothering everyone else was not bothering her.

"You could have," the worried voice commented, a hint of laughter sparking to life before it was quickly doused by the flood of worry. "But looking at her like that—I feel so guilty about all of this. Knowing that we did this to her—how can you sit there so calmly?"

"She needs to rest. It doesn't do me any good to fuss over someone who's not even conscious enough to know that," the colder voice said airily. "Besides, with all your worrying, she might wake up and then you'll only feel worse for disturbing her."

"What would you have me do?" she asked shrilly.

"Sit down."

There was shuffling and then silence. Except, I know I could hear something else. It was someone—or something—breathing very closely to me. I could feel the warmth of its breath against my cheek and I knew immediately from the exasperated purring chirp that it was Dezba lying beside me. It was his feathery body that I was feeling. That was comforting.

"Stop that, Yuna," the cold voice said, slightly annoyed. I knew that voice. It was Paine and from what she'd said, Yuna was there too. "Worrying solves nothing. We can explain it all to her when she wakes up."

"If she wakes up," Yuna croaked, her voice drenched in worry and self-resentment. "You heard what Rosemary said. She suffered a serious mental trauma. She may not ever wake up again and then what do we do?"

"This is Rikku we're talking about," Paine snapped, finally fed up with ex-High Summoner's antics. "Rikku won't let anything get her down. Trauma or not, she's still Rikku. Give her a little more credit, won't you?"

Yuna became quiet and I could tell that Paine was leaning against some wall or another. She never really sat; she was never that comfortable with other people to indulge in such trivial comforts. Yuna was sitting though; that's what she did when she was worried. She either paced—which she'd just been doing—or she sat and submerged herself in doubt. She was never really sure of anything she did. It seemed real enough, but hadn't I just seen about half a dozen of them? For all I knew, this could be another of my mental delusions, which meant that Rosemary had been right, yet again. My denial led to delusions. But somehow, I knew I wanted to be dreaming; I wasn't ready to face them if this was real.

What could I say to them? How would I react…? I didn't know and I wasn't ready to find out. I need a practice run or two—or twelve—before I could do this. I didn't want to forget anything and I didn't want to remember things I shouldn't have. Short, simple and to the point—that was how it needed to be.

If this was a delusion—if this wasn't real, then I wondered what it meant. I wondered what the connection was. At least, when you hallucinate in the desert, you see something you want. You see an oasis—water in the desert—at least it's something desirable, even if impossible. I could understand that. What I didn't understand was why _they_ were here. I could have stood for an oasis…I felt like I was in a desert anyway.

But those two?

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Author's Note: This was chapter 3. I hope everyone is enjoying this so far. As a side note, I'll put the translations at the bottom. It saves space up there, since most of the time, the context will help with the meaning.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.

Translations

Kad yfyo vnus sa! – Get away from me!

Tuh'd lusa yho lmucan! –Don't come any closer!

Mayja sa ymuha! – Leave me alone!

Ku yfyo! – Go away!

Pa kmyt dryd cra'c ymm nekrd. – Be glad that she's all right.


	4. False Pretense

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

No one reviewed for my chapter 3. My momentum is slowed only by a little, however. The show must go on.

Chapter 4: False Pretense 

The next morning, I struggled to keep my head from spinning off. It was something like having an out of body experience, except I was completely conscious of the feeling. It was weird and I suddenly understood why everyone enjoyed the feeling so much. I was floating in the air, seeing myself with my own eyes. Of course, I could only see what I remembered, which at this point, must have been very limited. I remembered the scar I got from the worm the other day, but it was healing. I don't remember hurting myself at any other time—so why was my head hurting so badly?

I returned from the metaphysical world and slammed back down into my body. I wasn't ready to open my eyes just yet, even though my curiosity was getting the better of me. I fought to remain unconscious; I wasn't ready to handle the real world just yet, especially with the pool of undetermined thoughts and theories that were spiraling out of control in my head. My head was heavy with those things, things I couldn't tell were real or not. Last night couldn't have been real, right? If I was awake, then it didn't make sense. Any reality with Paine and Yuna on the _Celsius_ wasn't fathomable. So it had to be a nightmare. More than that, Cid was upset because of something reckless I did. That wasn't any sort of reality I wanted to have, so I had to be dreaming up something awful in my mind. Nothing else seemed to fit.

_Of course…it could have been real, in the altered sense of reality sort of way, that is._

Now there's a thought. It wasn't a very good one, so to speak, but it was a thought all the same. In the proper light, one might have thought it possible. I could have done something beyond senseless—I had the inordinate tendency to do so without the proper consent on a more than daily basis. Being the source of Cid's shiny baldhead was my only goal in life, so it was plausible for me to have gone out, unwittingly, and done something stupid. My childish ideas of fun usually landed me in the middle of some off-the-wall danger that took every bit of strength I possessed to release me from its chokehold.

All of my unanswered questions demanded fulfillment, all at the same time. My head throbbed painfully and my eyes bolted open. I had returned to the physical world against my will—which was set on remaining asleep for as long as I could without being prodded out of bed like a cattle to the slaughterhouse, which wasn't too far off in my case, I suspected. There was no light, but I felt oddly comfortable, even though I wasn't entire sure where I was, at first. Still, it felt familiar and I relaxed into the feeling; it might have been the only comfort I would be given all day. So I took advantage of that feeling, closing my eyes again, reveling in the feel of security. Then I opened my eyes again and slowly let reality drain into perspective.

The room was dark but I was completely certain that it as my room. If it hadn't been for that glow-in-the-dark lamp on the side of my dresser, I'd have been clueless. I stumbled out of bed—and it wasn't because I was still tired. My head felt like it wanted to dislocate itself from the rest of me, leaving me at ends with gravity. So I staggered out of the room. I didn't make it far, though, since my legs were too wobbly to maintain mobility. I fell forward, but not to the ground; I felt into someone's arms.

"I told Cid that nothing could keep you in bed, head trauma or plague."

I peered up into Rosemary's deep, swirling eyes bashfully. She'd been in my dream—a dream I now was slowly beginning to think wasn't a dream. She did say head trauma, didn't she? At least, I was pretty sure that the plague part didn't apply to me in this case. So I stared up into her bright eyes and moved my hand to where she was staring. I touched my forehead slowly and pulled my hand back quickly. It throbbed painfully under my delicate fingertips. It felt as though my skull had been cracked open with a sledgehammer and put back together with string and putty. It's a terrible analogy, I know, but you try thinking up something witty and creative with a busted frontal lobe.

The head trauma she'd mentioned before was my own. I somehow managed to crack my head wide open enough to do myself some serious damage. That explains why my head was hurting so badly, and why I felt so out of touch with the rest of myself. head trauma could do that do you, so I was told. It was an uneasy feeling, which caused dizziness and nausea and, one some rare occasions, a concussion. Last night she'd been here; she'd brought me in. that part I knew had to be true. But what about the rest of the night? Was that apart of reality, too, or had it also been just a dream?

"I see you're feeling a little less drowsy," she said slowly, releasing me from her grasp. "From the looks of things, you're feeling more like yourself. Or at least, some of your memories are flooding back to you. But you don't remember how you got that bump on your head, do you?"

"No, I don't," I said, opting for a verbal response. Shaking my head would have been suicide.

"Let's go inside, shall we? I need to redress both of your wounds, anyway," she said, gently pushing me back into the darkness of my room.

Rosemary sat me down on my bed, but she didn't turn on a light. I guess she didn't want to cause me any more pain, but that didn't explain anything. Wasn't she going to redress my wounds? I could have sworn you needed light in most if not all medical procedures, which this certainly was. still, I followed her gentle hand motions and plopped down on the edge of my bed, my hands fidgeting slightly as they curled up together on my lap. Despite wearing hardly anything ever at all, I felt uncomfortable with Rosemary being so close to me. For some reason or another, I felt exposed and ashamed of myself for being so scantily dressed in her eloquent presence.

She must have noticed my tension, or felt it through the pale darkness of my room. She put a warm, reassuring hand on my shoulder and immediately, I stilled. I didn't feel the need to be uncomfortable. I didn't fidget anymore, though I was downright nervous and out of my mind with trying to soothe the growling, stinging pain of both my head and the rather lengthy cut I'd received the other day that extended from my lower abdomen upward, on an angel, to just below my ribcage.

I hadn't noticed it at first, but when I bumped into Rosemary, she had a medical case in her other hand. I wondered how she managed to catch me, but it must have been the slight of wrist trick I'd heard so much about. It was always something that I tried to figure out but I never had the audacity to ask anyone to show me. A magician never reveals his secrets, isn't that how it goes? Besides, trying to figure it out now would only serve as a hindrance to my recuperation. I'm sure she'd show me later when I was feeling better, or at least when I was able to think fluid, coherent thoughts properly without causing my face to scrunch up in pain.

"So, what happened?" I asked slowly, watching her work at my desk.

Rosemary stopped for a moment, a flask of something in one hand and a cotton swab in the other. She peered over at me and I could see her shimmering eyes through the darkness. It was lessening and I could assume that was because of the sunlight pouring in through my semi-closed window. She seemed to be smiling at me, or at whatever thought had recently passed through her head. So I waited for her to come closer and sit beside me on the bed, several medical supplies held in her arms. She splayed the out on the bed for me to see, though it had to squint just to get a coherent understanding of what it was and the purpose it was supposed to serve.

"I could tell you the lengthy version of what happened," she said, examining the wound on my forehead. I assumed that she'd stitched it up last night in haste, but now that the intensity of the situation had died down some, she could better stitch me up. "Of course, that would take far too much time. Well, I'd be done cleaning you up before I was even halfway done. I want you to finish resting at least."

"I don't want to sleep anymore," I said quickly, wincing as she removed one of my stitches. "I think I want to know what happened—though, slightly less descriptive than you would be," I said, wincing again as she removed two more.

"Well, I suppose that's understandable," she cooed, gingerly removing the last seven or eight stitches in record, painless time. She began stitching me up again, after numbing the tiny area at the left side of my forehead. "You remember coming to me yesterday, don't you?"

"I remember. We talked for a long while about Yuna and Paine. You told me that I had to suck it up and move on," I said, wincing again, slightly. Stitches were painful when you were fully conscious. "I made a promise that I'd do just that. You gave me a package and a letter before you sent me off."

"Do you remember anything else after that?" she asked, tying my last stitch in. this time, it was only seven, neat lines, now parallel to my brows.

"Yeah…I told Dezba that we should get something to eat. But, as we were walking, I saw Yuna and Paine walking. I chased after them. I bumped into a few people but I—,"

"Stop right there," she said, if only to marvel at her neat, handiwork. "That's not exactly what happened. See…you were…delusional when I found you. It's true, or part of it is. In fact, you might have raced through the crowded streets of Luca but…"

she stopped and I had to think about what she'd just said.

"Found me? What do you mean you found me?" I demanded.

"When you left my house, you were just fine. However, from what I can gather, as you went off with Dezba, the tea had a very rare chemical reaction. It somewhat intensified your guilt, or rather, it made your problems manifest themselves. During your mad dash to find these imaginary friends of yours, you gave yourself a bit of a fall and a bit of a scare for the rest of us. During your delusion, Dezba was there?"

"No…it was just me," I said.

"Well, then you were partially aware of reality. Dezba left when you fell. He ran back to get me. He was worried about you and I could understand why. Not only were you delusional and talking to things that weren't there, but your head was bleeding rather profusely. It's a wonder you're sitting here having this conversation with me now," she said.

"You mean…Yuna and Paine weren't actually there?" I asked, my jaw now slack.

"No, you made them up. Your fears manifested themselves and as you lost consciousness, the images became more violent to you. You were slipping into your deepest, darkest mind. It's my belief that you touched about the fears buried in your subconscious. Those are thoughts that you want to repress—things you don't want to think about. It wasn't until I heard what you were saying that I realized how much pain you were in, Rikku. Some of those things you were saying…they were…heart-wrenching."

I sat in stunned silence on the edge of my bed as she redressed my other bandage. I didn't know what else to say. What else was there to say?

"So…last night…?" I asked, daring to press my luck.

"All of it was real. The Paine and Yuna who are here now, they aren't hallucinations," she said, wrapping gauze around my body. "They came here to see you, not because you were hurt or anything like that. From the looks of them, I'd say they have something on their chests, too. It's about time the three of you sat down and had a heart to heart."

"I don't want to see them," I said dismissively. "I want nothing to do with them."

"You've never been a good liar, Rikku," Rosemary said without looking at me. She kept her hands busy with wrapping me up in thick, soft white gauze. "All of this time, and you've still learned nothing about yourself? Lying is what's causing you to be so miserable. Stop it, ok? It's not good for you and in the end, you won't be the only one hurt."

"I shouldn't have to be," I whispered snidely. "After everything they've done to me, I should not be the only one made to suffer. They deserve to feel pain, too. I don't want them to be all right after this. I want them to know what it's like to be in pain—

I guess Rosemary had had enough. Either that, or I'd struck a nerve. Whatever it was, I'd said or done something so out of line that it caused her mellow, laid back demeanor to snap into something much more fierce. She brought her hand roughly across my face and glared up at me from her place on the floor.

"Oui cruimt pa ycrysat uv ouincamv, Rikku," she said angrily, before she pulled herself from the ground and walked out without another word or backwards glance in my direction

She must have been livid; she'd left her things here, left me here, alone again. But maybe she was right. Maybe I should have been ashamed of myself.

-----------------------------------------------------

I didn't leave my room for another hour. I just lay there, in the dead silence, despite the sun that shone brightly on my face. Its brightness didn't give me any more courage than what I had already. It wasn't enough to make me get up and enter the reality of what I'd done yet. I wasn't ready to face what I knew had to be coming. Rosemary said Paine and Yuna had come to see me, that they were aboard the _Celsius_ and had been since last night. That already had spelled out "trouble" in more ways than one. Running away was no longer an option, though, according to some of my friends, it had never actually been an option to begin with. Now, it was even less of an option than I first thought.

"Drec cilgc," I groaned inwardly, curling onto my side. my head was still hurting, but I'm sure it had little to do with the stitched up gash that was there. I was thinking too hard again. But could you blame me? "What am I supposed to do now?" I sighed, staring at the floor.

In all respects, I should have been happy. I had already been warned that I needed to handle my situation before it spiraled out of control. Doing something this major via a letter had just seemed tacky. Of course, tracking them down and having to be exposed to their happy lives—their Rikku-less lives—wasn't something I was willing to face, either, separately or otherwise. But they were here now, in my home turf. Handling them should have been a piece of cake, if I'd ever had the intention of handling them in the first place, which I hadn't. I had hoped that she wasn't right—I wanted to believe that Rosemary had made a mistake, although it wasn't something that seemed remotely possible. And here I was, faced with the opposite of hope. This was reality.

Not only was I without my defenses, but I was without myself and my mind. Proper trains of thought had ceased activity, leaving me stranded in this world without any reasonable excuse or explanation for my previous actions, or lack thereof. I had nothing to lean on, not even a broken piece of ideology. There was absolutely nothing. Not even myself, since I'd given that up so long ago to swim in the depths of my despair and find some deeper meaning to my being rejected. That was something I hadn't found either—a reason for the madness. So I'd given it all up for something that didn't even exist. I wondered how much of a fool I really was.

"This wasn't how it was supposed to go," I said, without actually having an alternative in mind at that moment. I wasn't really sure how things were supposed to go, since I hadn't thought it out that much. "Even still…I know I would never have wanted things to go like this."

Things would have been much simpler if I'd had it my way. Things would have been on my own terms, of course, nothing like this awful mess I'd somehow gotten myself it. I'm sure it would have been acceptable; life would have opened itself up to me and grant me the perfect solution to my problems. I wasn't exactly expecting someone to tell me how to do things, but I knew that if I had my way, it would be easier. It wouldn't be causing so much pain to swell up in the middle of my chest. The painful knot wouldn't be suffocating the life out of me like it was now. I could have solved my own problems if I tried hard enough.

That didn't make me feel any better, though. If anything, it made me feel worse about myself. I hated my inability to see things through, things which needed an ending, things which had to come to and end. But it was more than that; not being able to finish something stemmed from another problem entirely. It wasn't that I didn't want to finish things that caused me pain or to stop them from continuing on, more or less, it was something like fear. I was scared of the inevitable outcome of my bad choices. Altogether, I greatly despised my mounting inhibitions. That was what stopped me from doing anything by myself, from being able to be comfortable in my own skin.

Let's face it, shall we? My life sucks. While I'm sure there are other people in the world who had more on their plates than I did, to each his own validity. This validated itself as major suckage and I would be the first to testify its potency. I couldn't pretend it wasn't getting to me anymore than I could pretend that I was all right. I'm not ok, I told myself finally, able to admit this absurdity to the rest of the already-informed world. Cracking under the pressure of having to face my deepest, most sensitive trouble.

Paine and Yuna.

Saying their names was too much for my tiny heart to take. I crippled against the bed, my face pressed into the pillow, curled up like a turtle's shell, wrapping my arms tightly, so tightly around my body, trying to keep my broken pieces from shattering and decorating the floor. I had to keep myself together, if at all possible. I willed myself to keep everything inside—all of the pain, all of the torment—I had to keep all of that on the inside. It had no business in the real world, in this world that had forsaken me in my desperate hour. I had to keep myself in tact, though I was beyond reassurance. I knew there was nothing strong enough to keep me in one piece—not even duct tape.

The battle was over, though I wasn't even sure how well I'd been fighting it, if ever at all. My hope was gone, shredded in the ferocity of their presence. As the color drained away from my fingertips, my face, and buried itself in the pit of my stomach, I realized inevitability. That was the absolute motive behind these recent events—my recent surge of lightheartedness, the pain and the hallucinations. All of it was connected by one common element, whether I'd been aware of before or not.

There was nowhere left for me to run to. There was no place left for me in the world to escape the nagging pain that flexed itself dominantly in the pit of my chest, tightening its grip as I made myself completely aware of its presence. I acknowledged it as the source of my torture, my infinitesimal self-wallowing, my self-loathing. It was the icon that represented them, the two people who haunted my dreams—more like nightmares. I had run as fast and as far as my tired legs would let me. Shinra had been right after all. There was no escaping what had to be. There was no refuge for someone foolish enough to try escaping.

I tried to keep from falling apart, though I knew that I'd been defeated in that battle a long time ago. There was no point in trying to keep myself together, but I did. In spite of myself, I wanted to believe, though I knew I had lost hope, knowing that I was slipping through my fingers. I had lost the battle, not to mention the war, and I had lost myself in the process. I tortured myself with this madness, let this awful, painful feeling tear myself to bits. Now all I had left to remind me of the Rikku I'd once been was them and I hated knowing that they had a piece of me—the only two pieces left.

So I felt justified for hating them now, at this one fleeting moment. I could blame them for the monster I had become. I blamed them, of course I did. Who else was there to blame for my broken heart? I was all alone and it was their fault! There was no one left to blame but them.

Rosemary knocked at my door; I knew it was her because of how hesitantly she knocked. She was still feeling upset for her earlier transgression. I don't know why she felt bad. I was the one who ought to be sorry. I pulled myself up, staggered to the door and peered out at the person on the other side with morbid, reluctant eyes. It was the look of bitter acceptance.

"Rikku…?" she said hesitantly, her hand reaching out to touch my face. She stopped midair, as if she thought better of it and pulled her back to her side. "Rikku," she said again, "it's time."

I didn't say anything. I'm not even sure I was able to. My mouth felt dry and I had to swallow hard to generate the moisture. I felt like an embalmed body, all of my vital organs still in tact, since I wasn't the type to give them up for scientific experimentation, not that I was selfish. I was just into self-preservation and all that, despite the current circumstances. So I walked in her shadow, my footsteps echoing hollowly as we walked towards the elevator, only to have our bodies elevated high enough to witness my swift, subtle execution.

"There's something I need to say."

I turned to Rosemary with my sullen eyes and realized that she'd meant to say something sooner, but didn't know how to phrase it. I assumed that time had given her the proper way to go about it. Lucky for her, since Time wasn't nearly as benign towards me, not with him turning his back on me and all that. When she was sure that I was listening, or that she had my full attention at best, she sighed deeply.

"I shouldn't' have…hit you…the way I did," she stammered, her face an immediate shade of bright red.

Rosemary shifted uncomfortably from one stance to the next, lowering her eyes to examine the floor, but I could see through it. She didn't want to meet my gaze for fear of what she mind find there. Remnants of what had been there when she'd been so…motherly.

"There's nothing to apologize for," I croaked hollowly, feeling less and less like myself. what happened to my firm resolve earlier the other day? "I shouldn't have put you in a position to have to hit me…"

slowly, the elevator doors pulled themselves apart. I turned from Rosemary to stare into the ominous bridge, where I knew everyone was waiting for me. It was where _they_ were waiting for me. I wasn't sure if I could handle it, but I knew that I absolutely had to. With Rosemary, Cid and Dezba there, it shouldn't be hard right? I could do anything I wanted to. I'd saved the world twice, hadn't I? But I wasn't in that Spira anymore. I was in a new world entirely; a world where words stung and people weren't wholly truthful in their promises. That was the place I lived in, the world I had to stay in. but that world suddenly seemed far away as I faced a much smaller, more painful thing.

Now we were here in the place of my nightmares, back to the room where it all began…and ended.

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Author's Note: I'm thinking maybe it was too short, but to add what's to come later might have made this chapter a bit…too lengthy. I do hope that I'm keeping your attention. In the next chapter, I promise there will be lost of dialogue—as opposed the Rikku-monologue I've probably suffocated you all with. Please be patient with me. It can only get better, right?

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.

Translations

Oui cruimt pa ycrysat uv ouincamv. – You should be ashamed of yourself.

Drec cilgc. – This sucks.


	5. Synchronicity

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

I have to apologize. Hurricane-5 did in fact review for my chapter three. I'm sorry.

Also, I would like to apologize for being absent for such a long amount of time. My mother was in the hospital and as such, I had to work a little harder to make sure things were settled here at home. I did miss you all, and I apologize for leaving you in the dark for so long. Now, on with the chapter!

Chapter 5: Synchronicity 

I walked into the room, half expecting to be killed on sight with traitorous glares and crude if not unnecessary remarks. I received none of this, however. It was shrilly quiet. I say shrilly because I could still hear everything that wasn't being said quite clearly. Their eyes were all screaming magnitudes at me, piercing my tender ears until they were ragged, as ragged as their inner minds had to be from that massive outburst. I was surprised to find that I was the only one who could hear it.

Standing there, all of them were, gaping at me with their bewildered eyes. I can only ever get to imagine what I looked like, since I didn't ever actually take a gander at myself before I went into the room where they all stood, hawking over me maliciously. I only stood there and took on their visual decapitation, my bottom lip strong, my resolve unwavering. I wouldn't let them get the best of me—in my mind or on the bridge. I wasn't desperate enough of them to fling myself at their feet and beg for their return. Not yet, at lease. The breaking point was nearer than I thought.

The screams rose a decimal and I had to cover my ears mentally just to prevent myself from being consumed in their mass hysteria. It was overwhelming, but I managed it, somehow. I stood there, unaffected, but buckling under their intensity, under their pressure. Their eyes did not let up as they bore into my soul and I had to wonder how longer I'd been standing there, a victim to their collective conscious. It wasn't a parody of time so much as a mockery of the reason for being summoned. It was repulsive, watching them gawk at me like that. I hated it.

So I tore my eyes from them and separately, I took them into my mind, one at a time. There was Paine leaning against the wall, the same way she always did when she wasn't feeling her usual, withdrawn self, not that she ever sat down. Beside her was Buddy, who seemed just every bit as uncomfortable as I was. Next to him was Shinra and then Brother. Cid was off to my other side, Yuna directly in front of me. And here we all were again, consumed in this screaming torment, locked in time.

I let the blood rush to my ears in this intensity, swallowing hard just to keep from falling out again. It was nostalgic and painful and lovely and disastrous all at once. I didn't know what to feel first. All of my emotions were begging for recognition and my head was swimming in the feel of reality, for once on my side. They were real, I assured myself, they were here now, with me. They had to be real, or I prayed for an eternal illusion, a complete dream world.

And then I heard it, the faintest of sounds. I was surprised that I could hear it over their loud, screaming eyes. But I heard it. It was…soft. It was music to my ears without being so cliché. It was something I had missed, something I don't think, to this day, that I'll ever get tired of. The sound was familiar.

"Rikku…" Yuna breathed again, her voice hesitant and wavering as she spoke, taking the tiniest step forward. She reached her arms out to me, but retracted them immediately. "You look awful," she murmured.

"Gee. I wonder why," I hissed back coldly, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.

"Rikku—," she tried pleading, but I cut her off.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, suddenly bored with her concerned eyes. They were fake anyway, right? Fake emotions from a fake friend. That seemed right.

"Why are you being like this?" she asked, recoiling at the venom so apparent in my voice.

"Why am I being like this?" I asked, echoing her feigned sincerity. I laughed once, brisk and cold, something so unusual to me. "Look at the distance between us. It's more than physical. It's…emotional. Look at what you've done to me…"

I wasn't angry. I was resolved. There was nothing more painful than my realization of what it all meant. The separation, the distance, the empty letters—it was so obvious now that all they wanted was a clean break. A clean break away from me. I bit my bottom lip, not because I felt regret for what I'd just said to my cousin; I felt bad for having dragged this out for so long, especially when it was something I'd known all along.

"Fydlr ouin suidr," my father warned, noticing the pained tension that had suddenly mounted between us two cousins. He was protective of his family, in case it had gone unnoticed.

But I was in no mood for his antics. My feelings had been hurt too, and I was sure he hadn't really forgotten. But like me, he had hoped that it wasn't either of their faults. He'd seen how close we were. He wanted to hide in denial and ignorance like me. He wanted to live a lie. But I couldn't anymore.

"Hu, vydran," I said harshly, the strength of my voice scaring me. "Drao ryja du ghuf fryd ed fyc mega vun sa!" I said, before turning back to my cousin, now petrified at my ferocity.

Something whispered through us just then, passing from one to the next. I was the last to feel it and I shivered under its intense pressure. It wasn't hot or cold, but it made me shiver with anticipation. I was waiting for something, waiting for the dam to burst forth. I guess they were waiting too. It was so obvious in their held breaths.

"Do you have any idea what it was like…?" I asked hollowly, my anger subsiding, but only to allow my pain a chance to speak. Everyone in the room remained quiet. "Do you know what you two put me through—put all of us through?" I couldn't care less for the answer of the real reason behind it. All I knew was the pain it caused.

"Rikku," Paine began, but I silenced her with a fierce gaze that rivaled her own.

"I don't care," I said, my voice breaking at the end. My resolve was shattering, only because it was slowly fulfilling its use. "I don't…I can't care. Don't you see? You two abandoned me."

"It's not like that, Rikku," Yuna urged, rushing a few steps closer to me. I couldn't deny the honest pleading in her eyes, but I wasn't in the mood to listen.

"Do you want to tell me what it was like, Yuna? I see that neither you nor Paine has suffered any major damage. There was no murmur of anything dangerous having happened—else I'd have heard about it via the comsphere network. So you've got me wondering. What could in all of Spira could have been so important that you decided it was a good idea to abandon me here…after…after you promised that things wouldn't change?"

I had hit the mark. I cringed under the venom I was hissing with now and I hated myself for being so cruel to them. Nothing they did deserved this…did it? But I remembered the promise we made, I remembered it so well. It happened here, where its brokenness was slowly being revealed. I found that to be odd. It was a strange sort of circle, the place where things came to be and suddenly found themselves ended. That was a strange coincidence, though I didn't believe in them actually. Coincidence was another flick-of-the-wrist trick. In the end, it was all smoke and mirrors in the end, wasn't it? Why should I act like I had been fooled? That was foolish in itself.

-----------------------------------------------------

**One year earlier**

We'd been standing there, much the same we were standing now. I remembered crying before I made it there. It was emotional and I knew it was only going to get worse. I was a sucker for these things, a glutton for punishment, Paine had teased once. But this wasn't something any of us could laugh about. It was inevitability at its best and to its call, all any of us could do was answer swiftly, answer curtly. So we filed out of rooms in silent monotones, although our footsteps echoed loudly, reminding us of the distance, of the distance that was to follow.

But things had to happen this way. I kept telling myself that as I walked. It had already been born into reality. The three of us felt less connected. It was death that swelled up in the void of what had once been happiness and laughter. Something had died, I just wasn't sure what it was until I saw their faces.

"Rikku," Yuna said tentatively, as if she was trying to feel me out. Obviously she and Paine already had this conversation and I was the last one to be clued in. so I gave her a strange look, not menacing, just strange. "Listen…you know that you're my best friend," she said, her voice still shaken with worry. Paine just stood across from me, nonchalant as ever.

"Yunie, what's wrong with you?" I asked immediately, seeing through her clever disguise.

"I told you to just spit it out already," Paine said, her voice dull and uninterested. Yup, my suspicion was confirmed. They'd talked. "She can handle it, Yuna. She's not a baby anymore. She's all grown up now—so treat her like an adult already."

Yuna grimaced, not used to be scolded like that by her other best friend. She twisted her hands together in a worrisome manner and I immediately knew that something was terribly wrong. It was something that had Yuna perplexed and she was placating me, never a good sign. Mentally, she told herself something, straightened up and looked me square in the eyes. Of course, it helped that she'd closed the distance between us and trapped me in her grip, her hands set on either of my shoulders.

"Rikku," she said firmly, tugging me into an embrace. She trembled like she would cry, but she didn't say anything else. She just silently sobbed. I felt the blood rushing from my face.

"For heaven's sake, Yuna," Paine spat out, thoroughly agitated now. She crinkled her face up and with all the energy she could muster, she restrained herself from screaming the vile words into the open air. Instead she whispered them, which could have hurt more than the scream. At least screaming was meant to hurt. "We're disbanding," she said.

The word struck me light lightning, the intensity as fierce as rolling thunder. I stood there in Yuna's arms, suddenly grateful. If she hadn't been holding me, I'd be thrashing about like the kid I was, sick with a tantrum. The tears swelled up in my eyes, but I fought to keep them at bay. Before I lost myself to my emotions, I needed a basis. I needed logic and understanding.

I wanted a reason.

"Why?" I asked, my voice hollow against the silence that had devoured us whole. "Why now? Why all of sudden?" I couldn't understand their questioning eyes and it infuriated me to end to see the passiveness on either of their faces. Weren't they in the least bit hurt by this? Didn't they feel what I was feeling?

"It's been a long time coming," Yuna said, pulling away from me. She stared in my Al Bhed eyes and I stared into the only one I trusted now—the one green eye she had. "You've seen the distance we've put between ourselves, Rikku. Surely you must know…"

"That's not a good enough reason," I whimpered, unable to lift my eyes from the ground. "It's not a good enough reason to just say…to just say it's…over…"

The word fell from my mouth limply. It was hard enough to think, let alone be forced to say. I couldn't bring myself to believe that it was over. Not like this…it didn't seem right. But from their determined stares, neither of them focused on me, I knew that it must be true. This was what they wanted. This was their final decision. Trapped in ironclad resolve, there was no way I could dissuade them from this. It was inevitable.

"The Gullwings are over," said Paine, lacking all the emotion most human beings had. She was more heartless than a rock. "Give it up already, Rikku. You're the only one still living in that ridiculous fantasy. Don't you see? We're tired of this charade of sphere hunting. It's not what it used to be anymore."

I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep focused. It was hard to see past my own hurt, but I had to try and salvage what I could.

"We could change…we could do something else. How about—

"We already know what we want to do, Rikku," Paine cut in quickly, not sparing me a glance. "We're going to…continue on with our lives, where we left off before the whole Vegnagun thing took its toll on us. Yuna has things she needs to put in order with Tidus and I want to explore. I'm not looking for adventure, Rikku, and neither is she, not anymore."

"What is there left to have?" I asked.

"Fulfillment," Yuna said, also refusing to look at me. "Don't you see how lucky we are, Rikku? We all have the chance to do what makes us happy. Paine gets to see all of Spira—without having to fight off fiends and hunt for spheres. And I've found Tidus again. We get to pick up where we left off…"

"But what about me…?" I asked glumly, not really caring for the answer.

"You have your precious machina," Paine said, her arms now crossed over her chest. "And you have to help rebuild Home, don't you? Isn't that what all the Al Bhed do nowadays?"

I realized that there was no fighting my way out of this one. Slowly, I was going to have to accept this. There was no way around it and the two of them were making it perfectly clear that neither of them wanted any part in the Gullwings anymore. As far as they cared, it was over. So I stood there in my grief, staring between the two of them until finally, I gave up.

"Fine," I said. "If this is what you both want, then it's fine by me." I forced a smile, but the two of them were so wrapped up in their own minds, they didn't notice its insincerity. I felt a lump of pain rise to the back of my throat as I realized this. "Well, I guess it's goodbye then."

That sounded bitter. I was kicking them off the ship like it was mine. But neither of them had a right there anymore. It wasn't like I was going to take them to where they needed to go, or rather, where they wanted to go. I wasn't going to facilitate the source of my newly found pain anymore than I would help a danger to society become a danger to Spira. It wasn't my nature and I wouldn't bend for them anymore.

"Rikku," Yuna said, the day the two of them decided to leave. She took my hand in hers and she gave me a weak smile. "We promise…to keep in touch. Just because we're leaving the Gullwings doesn't mean we're leaving you, too."

"It sure feels that way," I said, not returning her gaze.

"We'll write to you and tell you everything that's going on, all right?" Paine said from behind me. I didn't look at her either, or even acknowledge the fact hat she was there. I just sorta shrugged uninterestedly.

"Yes," said Yuna, agreeing, "we'll write to you, Rikku. And we'll talk on the comsphere network and make play dates and get together often. It'll be like we never really left. That'll make sure we never lose this, our friendship, that is."

"Do you promise?" I asked, perking up at the sound of this.

"Yes, it's a promise," they said together, wrapping their arms around me before departing.

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If only I knew then what I knew now. If only I knew that the play dates would never come. If only I knew that the comsphere chats were only lies. If only I knew they didn't want me in their lives anymore. If only I knew…then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad now. Maybe I'd have a fighting chance. But Time must have hated me. He never granted me foresight; he never let me have anything peaceful. It was always painful for me and now was no different.

I watched as Yuna and Paine shared strange glances, something like guilt passing between them. I wanted them to feel guilty. It was their fault anyway, so let them feel guilt. Let them wallow in that pain. I didn't care anymore. I was beyond forgiving and I wouldn't lie to them anymore and act like I could be happy with them there. After this…how could I?

"You two made me a promise," I echoed dryly. "You made me a promise, both of you, and in the same fashion, you broke it. Both of you."

Anyone who knew me knew how loyal I was to my friends. I was beyond loyal. I was a life's servant, if you wanted. I was dedicated to the happiness of my friends and I'd do anything for them, for those people I knew would always have my best interests in mind, too. I'd do almost anything for those people I called friend—Paine and Yuna highest on that list. But here I was, dwindling in my own self-loathing for having pined so desperately for their attention, attention they thought was better spent on trivial things. Other friends, I'm sure.

I smiled sourly into the air, facing no one particularly. Looking back on everything that had happened, I could say that I had come to hate my dedication. I had given up my self just to wait them out, hoping they'd come to their senses and remember that I was Rikku—I was their Rikku. But no one ever remembered me. No one ever made mention to me—I was never around anymore because they didn't need me. I was useless then; I was an outdated tool, a broken weapon.

Staring at their sullen faces, I thought I had all I needed. Their pity, their grief—it soothed some part of me, but it wasn't enough. I needed things to be resolved, not gently glossed over and pushed underneath a blanket when visitors had arrived. I didn't want to think any more about this. I wanted it to be over.

"Why…why did you leave me out?" I finally asked, though I didn't look at either of them. This was starting to echo the ending all over. I didn't like the bitter taste it left in my mouth. In fact, I hated it.

"It wasn't like we had a choice, Rikku," Yuna squeaked. I could see the tears in her eyes, but that didn't make me feel better. It didn't make feel worse, either, but still. "We did what we thought was best, Rikku. You have to believe me…we thought we were doing the right thing."

"The right…thing?" I said, not sure I'd heard her right.

"We thought distance would be enough for you. We thought if we gave you a reason to, then you'd want to grow up and act like an adult. We thought you'd learn to be all right on your own. We did it because we wanted to help you, Rikku," said Paine.

Her voice wasn't as cold as it should have been, given my growing temper. She was always the one to keep me in check. But not this time and I wondered why. It was only then I noticed that something like regret lingered on her granite features. Was she feeling sorry?

"You didn't do anything for me," I said, turning from them. "No, I take that back. You did do something for me. You abandoned me…you cut me out of your lives. You showed me what it's like to be rejected. I guess I'm grateful. Who can teach you a lesson better than those you love and trust most? I'm grateful. I wouldn't have been able to have this experience any other way."

I was on the elevator before my words sunk in and by then, there was no turning back.

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I'd taken Dezba and abandoned the _Celsius_. I couldn't be on the same ship as them tonight. If I could have avoided it, I would have been in a different part of the world as them. But I could not, so I found my comfortable spot at the Oasis, a secret place, an Al Bhed place. Surely, I'd be safe here.

Dezba found a place to lie beside me, his eyes half-lidded as he watched me toss another tiny piece of metal into the water like it was a rock. It skipped once or twice before settling into the clear blue water. I wade it, fish it out and repeat the cycle. My god was I bored. But it gave me something to do, kept my hands from becoming idle. God knows I didn't want my hands to become idle…I'd strangle myself with them.

I felt like crap for being so mean to Paine and Yuna. Although anger was justified then, it wasn't in me anymore. So I felt bad. I regretted what I did—not enough to take it back, but just enough to feel the pain. That left me in a bit of a predicament, didn't it? Of course, it was only caused by my inability to stay wholly committed to anything in life. I was a coward and I would gladly admit it to anyone who didn't already know. I wasn't ashamed of my weakness. Shame was what could have made it a weakness, I suppose. To me, it was just something I needed to work on later…if ever.

My repetitiveness continued on for a long time. I would toss the metal hunk, wade into the water, fish it out and repeat. I was sitting on a rock so luckily for me, I didn't get any sand on or in my shorts. That would have been uncomfortable to wake up to—itchy underwear in the early, unconscious moments of the morning? That had to be what hell was like, I was sure.

"You seem awfully lonely out here," Rosemary said from behind me. "Although, given that marvelous performance from before, I can hardly imagine another reason for you being out here with naught but your Dezba. But even he seems to be out of it."

Rosemary came to sit against a nearby rock, folding her arms against her plump chest. The gracious Al Bhed woman smiled at me as I stood in the water up to my waist, the cool waves lapping at my upper body. She was standing in her long, flowing red dress, though it was the coolest thing around, since she wasn't the skimpy type, not like me. I wore as little as possible and she reveled in being clad in full garments and not being any warmer than I was. There had to be something about this Al Bhed woman that I just wasn't seeing. Maybe I'd grow up and be like her. Maybe.

"What'd you expect me to do, Rosemary?" I asked, my voice almost playful. "They're not exactly machina. I can't just take them apart and scatter their remnants over the desert, you know," I teased, coming to sit beside her, on the rock instead of against it. I twirled the metal shard in my hand.

"You wouldn't have minded," she said breezily, the wind taking on her gentle approach. I knew that she wanted to say something, but she was taking her time, like she always did. "It would have given you time. Time…it always seems to be against you," she noted.

"You noticed that, huh?" I asked, smiling in spite of myself.

"Who couldn't have noticed? Just as you getting your bearings, you have to face them, all out of breath from your last encounter. You've got the worst luck in the world," the motherly Al Bhed woman said to me, a smile also tugging at the corners of her mouth. "But…I admire you, Rikku, more than you'll ever know."

"_You_…admire _me_?" I asked, trying to keep my mouth from becoming slack. I was incredulous at her comment, but found nothing that made me suspect insincerity. She was being honest.

"Yes, I do," she said, "very much, actually. Seeing you fight against everything that comes at you—it's inspirational, really. I've never seen anything like it, nor have I seen anyone nearly as stubborn as you. When I first met your father and he told me about you…I couldn't believe it. But when you came to my shop, all covered in who knows what, then I had to believe him. And then you saved me…and I saw for my own two eyes the fighting spirit that's in you. It's something you've never depended on…"

The last part wasn't a question. It was a statement; she knew things about me, things I didn't have to tell her. She knew me for me—not as the world's savior.

"With Paine and Yuna always by my side," I said, suddenly somber from the tone of her voice at the very end. "With them…I never had to. I knew that if I ever messed up in life doing anything worthwhile—or anywhere else that mattered—I knew I had them to back me up. I never had to think outside of my own individual aspect."

"You were dependent," she said. Again, it wasn't a question; she knew the truth, she was only saying it aloud for my benefit, since I seemed so ignorant to it nowadays. She said it so simply in her airy voice, something only a mother could do. "Dependency—in small or large quantities can be toxic, Rikku, especially if you've never learned to do things for yourself, especially if you've never once lived by yourself."

I didn't want to look at her, though I could feel her perceptive eyes eluding me into some softer comfort, something that could make me feel better about what I'd done. I guess I needed that in more ways than one, but still, did she have to be so controlling? So I looked at her and immediately, I wished that I hadn't. Trapped dancing in her brilliant eyes was something very akin to sadness. But it was much stronger than that. It was mourning…for me, I suddenly realized.

"Why are you so sad?" I breathed, no longer able to control my trembling emotions. I reached out to her pretty face but I settled for her slender hands. I pressed them to my hands and felt how cold they had become, despite the scorching heat the desert was radiating. "Rosemary? What's wrong with you?" I begged, suddenly very panicky. "Please—Rosemary! What's wrong?"

"I'm witnessing the death of a vivid, playful blossom, but in the fiery ashes, there's something more beautiful than the immature bloom," she breathed, pulling me very closely to her chest. She had her arms wrapped around my body and I suddenly shared her shivering. But I wouldn't let her be cold for long. I wrapped my arms around her, this woman who could have been my mother, and I breathed in her scent. She was my mother, as far as I was concerned. "My Rikku has grown up…into something more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. Look at you—look at this person you're becoming."

Sitting back in realization, I gaped at her, mostly because she was right. Without my ever knowing it, I'd grown into something more than just Rikku. I was me—I was something much greater than I'd once been. I wasn't just the Rikku who'd helped save the world anymore. I wasn't just the cousin to the ex-High Summoner Lady Yuna. I wasn't just a member of the Gullwings—ex-member. I was Rikku. I was someone I could be proud of, someone who didn't need to depend on others anymore.

"I guess…I'm not so dependent on them anymore," I said hollowly, wrapping my arms around my legs tightly. "Looks like you needn't worry about me anymore, Rosemary. I'm sure Cid will be oh so relieved, knowing that his little girl is all grown up now. Still, I don't think I'm ready for this, Rosemary. Being a grown-up isn't any fun."

"Fun varies. Do I seem bored to you?" she asked, already knowing what I'd say. So she didn't wait for me to speak, as I knew she wouldn't. "My life is full of adventures. They aren't the same as the things I did when I was younger. No, nothing nearly as reckless as that," she added offhandedly, thinking back to her youthful days with a smile. "But that doesn't mean I don't have fun anymore, Rikku. It's only different from what I used to know. I know what it's like now, so it's easier for me to…have fun, I suppose."

"Maybe that's what they meant," I echoed hollowly. "Fulfillment. I suppose…it varies by age. Different things mean different words for different people. What I want isn't always what I'll always want. Similarly, it's not always the same for everyone else—different people want different things. I couldn't see that before. I guess I wasn't ready to accept growing up and I was stubborn and I was childish. I shouldn't have blamed them at all…they were only…trying to help. But I can be a pain sometimes, can't I?" I sighed lightly.

"You can be, occasionally," she said, the notion polite, but I could see the laughter in her eyes.

"Hm," was all I said, a thoughtful flare rushing to the tip of my tongue to float off, into the air with that singular idea. Rosemary must have noticed it, but she didn't say anything, either. She was too polite, so she only peered at me, her chin resting on her crossed forearms as we stared together over the darkening desert, together welcoming the cooler atmosphere, even it would have us shivering later that night.

"You should thank them," she said softly, peering at me from the corners of her brilliant eyes as I got to my feet suddenly, not enough to scare her, as she'd already read my mind.

I turned to glance over at her and with a rare, new smile that I'd recently learned how to use, I welcomed the idea. "I know," I said, trotting off with Dezba at my side.

-----------------------------------------------------

As I walked down the hallway, I had to keep my bottom lip from trembling. Drenched in this new reality, I realized I couldn't be reckless anymore. Seventeen was the final grounds for childish antics and I was nearing nineteen already. Boy how time flies when you're running away from the rest of the world, I joked mentally, but found it ill-mannered and oddly out of place. I raised my hand to knock, but hesitated when I heard a strangled whimper on the other side of the door. I was frozen with anxious energy all of a sudden.

"Relax, Yuna," Paine said, sounding emotional herself. I could imagine her doing her very best to be comforting, but failing for her awkwardness with social contact.

"Oh—but Paine," Yuna wailed, likely throwing herself into the emotionally devoid adult. She would cling and sob until she'd reorganized her composure and thoughts. "How can we expect her not to hate us for what we did? Looking at her this afternoon, I hate myself so much! She has every right to have been like that towards us…I just wish…that we could have done things differently. I only ever meant to-t-t-t-t-t—,"

But Yuna's voice broke off and she was in tears again, loud, wailing tears that could have waken the Farplane if she got a decibel louder. She was likely smothered in Paine's chest, since she grew very quiet, even though I knew she was still crying. I felt bad for Yuna, knowing that I'd have done the same for either of my best friends, if I was as sure as she'd been. Looking at it from her point of view, I could see why she'd have done it. When I saw what I'd grown into because of them, I felt better, I felt stronger. Sure, I _didn't_ need them in my life, but that didn't mean I didn't _want_ them there. I'd missed them so much that it hurt and apparently it had been the same for them, too.

I knocked on the door, once, twice, and then the door opened. Yuna was standing where I could see one red-rimmed eye. I pushed the door open slowly and stared at her with a grim smile. I had done this to her and I couldn't have hated myself more. Then I looked over at Paine, who resembled Yuna, to a point. Naturally, Paine had more self-reserve than to immediately burst into tears, at least while someone else other than herself was around. But she'd cried some, too, I could tell.

"R-R-R-Ri-Rik-ku," Yuna stammered, her tears streaming forth. I couldn't stand her looking like that. I took her into my arms and smiled deeply, whispering comforting words into her ear. "What are you…doing here?" she asked, once she'd stopped trembling.

"She's throwing us off the ship," said Paine coldly, though I could sense that she was only trying to numb her own pain. "Only this time, she has more than a valid reason."

"It's funny how those things work," I said slowly, pulling away from my cousin, who misinterpreted my words. "No, Yuna," I cooed, "I'm not kicking you out. I've come here…to thank you, actually. I understand now…I'm grateful. The pain I suffered doesn't seem to matter now, since you two are here with me!" I squealed, tossing my arms around Yuna and maneuvering my way around to get Paine in on the action, too. "You two are my very best friends! I can forgive something like this—no prob!"

The two of them were skeptical and though it stung a little, I realized they had every reason to be. Talk about bi-polar. I was all over the place today. But when I laughed—wild, carefree and open to the rest of the world because I didn't care—they couldn't deny how characteristically Rikku it was.

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Author's Note: Chapter five has turned out longer than I expected. I actually thought I'd have to separate this into two pieces, but this works just as well. I do hope you are enjoying this as much as I am.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.

Translations

Fydlr ouin suidr. –Watch your mouth.

Hu, vydran. Drao ryja du ghuf fryd ed fyc mega vun sa! – No, father. They have to know what it was like for me!


	6. The Merriest of Them All

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Chapter 6: The Merriest of Them All

The next morning, I woke up in a tangle or arms and legs, buried in the middle of my sleeping friends. The room was quiet, still drenched in the serenity of a new and beautiful morning. Well, I shouldn't have said quiet, more like…not so noisy. Was that—is that Paine making that noise? Oh, wait until I get this on comsphere—I'll own her ass! But anyway, all joking aside, it was a relatively good feeling, waking up in this sweaty, damp conjunction of limbs. It felt good to be wanted, like the first drops of rain, ending the dry spell.

I tugged myself loose from Yuna's protective hold around my waist, shifting slightly so that her head didn't fall quite so hard against the floor. I maneuvered free of Paine's leg, which was wrapped around mine a little tighter than was necessary. Scuffling to the door, I peered back over my shoulder at my two sleeping friends and smiled. I had missed them and I was glad that they had returned to me. It seemed as though they'd never left at all and if anyone had watched us last night, we would have seemed normal. Just teenage girls having a much-needed sleepover.

I trudged towards the bathroom and locked myself in for a half-hour. When I returned to the room I'd shared with Yuna and Paine, cleaned up and dressed, I found them still asleep. When I thought about it, I realized how odd it must be for me to wake up at such an early hour. I took a peek outside. The sun was hardly glaring at us from over the horizon and I had washed away all signs of sleepiness already. Strange.

I went to the bed and stared at them as I sat on the edge, wondering what their dreams were filled with. I wondered if they were unhappy dreams, if they were unpleasant dreams. The smile on Yuna's face told me otherwise, however, and I smiled too, reveling in their sleepy joy with them. I think I could have been happy the way I was, watching them sleep forever, just to know that they were all right—to know that our friendship hadn't dissipated into thin air. I was happy to know that it was still alive, beating ever so loudly now that they were in such close proximity. But that was shallow. Even on the other side of Spira like they were, I knew that nothing had ever really changed.

"You're up early," Paine said sleepily, though her bright red eyes were trained on me with such deliberation that I doubted she been that deeply asleep.

"Comes with the territory, ya know?" I giggled, folding my hands on my lap. "Cid makes up get up early—desert heat is awful here. So we work until it gets too much for us to bear. In the mornings, it's not so bad, so that's the ideal digging time."

"You're digging…for machina parts?"

"That and rebuilding them. Home isn't just gonna reappear outta thin air," I said thoughtfully. "It's the least I can do. I'm Al Bhed, too, aren't I? So I have to help. That's what I wanna do. So here I am, doin' just that."

"You really have grown up," she mumbled, snuggling back down into bed.

"That's what Rosemary told me. I don't think so," I said. Offhandedly, I added, "Maybe I have. I don't think I'm quite as childish but hey, I'm kinda biased."

"You're not the silly little Al Bhed that I knew before. You're really something else, Rikku. I can't imagine the actual strength it took to handle what we did to you…what we were trying to do for you. But you managed…and you're a better person for it. At least, that's what I want to believe."

"When you wake up, tell Yunie that there's breakfast in the bar," I said, watching her heavy eyelids close on themselves. She was sleep before I closed the door behind me.

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I was out and about that morning, busily working with two other diggers who were somewhat offset by my suddenly sunny disposition. They came to join me after a while and we dug our hands into the soft, compacted sand, parts of it moist from the humidity. Standing there with the two of them, we stood up tall, marveling at the hole we'd managed to dig out and all of the wonderful machina left buried there beneath the sand. We each went to work tossing parts into our respective trolleys, quiet as we worked. Of the two men, it was the younger one to speak first.

"E's kmyt ed'c hud cu rud dutyo. E drehg ed yldiymmo nyehat," he said, wiping his brow with the length of his forearm. His skin was dark like Buddy's, his eyes the same vibrant shade as the rest of ours.

"Tet ed? E ryth'd hudelat," the younger one said, staring at his brother with admiration. He was the type to hang on his brother's every word, but also the ambitious one. He'd do any dirty deed to get what he wanted.

"Dryd sekrd aqbmyeh drec fad cyht. Ed sygac dygehk dras ybynd dryd silr aycean, druikr," I said.

Peering over at Dezba and then back at the moist sand, I kneeled down to inspect it better. We were in the desert, but we had the Oasis, didn't we? It had to rain eventually, so maybe he was right. Glancing down at the wet and gritty particles that clung to my palms and had wedged themselves under my fingernails, I smiled at the evidence of my hard work.

"Oui'na nekrd. E ryth'd druikrd uv ed mega dryd. Pid cdemm," the youngest one said, crossing his arms over his chest in frustration. He'd come to the same conclusion that I had. Rain was just not something one expected in the desert, especially here. "Fryd tu oui cibbuca pnuikrd uh dra cittah nyeh?"

The older one gave me a wry glance and I didn't like the way the light glinted off his eyes all of a sudden. Something mischievous was dancing in the depths of his eyes and experience told me it was at my expense.

"Fru ghufc? Syopa ed ryc du tu fedr Rikku's haf jecedun," he said, barely able to control the amusement that sprung forth from the tone of his voice. Oh, the implications.

_Man, I hate being right._

I blushed brightly and cast a glance over at the older of the two brothers. It wasn't like I was ashamed, it was just the way he was making it sound. His younger brother, Vin, had always liked me. We both knew it, but he wasn't my type. He was young and spoiled and he tended to throw a tantrum whenever he didn't get what he wanted. If I were going to like anyone, it would be his older brother, the mild-mannered Eigg. He was easy to talk to and understood that life did not revolve around him, a concept his brother didn't seem to understand.

"Ed'c hud fryd ed cuihtc mega, Vin," I cooed, tossing an evil glare in Eigg's direction. Still, I don't think it mattered. He was doubled over with his laughter while I tried to keep poor Vin from breaking like the glass house that he was. "Ra uhmo sayhc Paine yht Yuna. Ra'c zicd paehk y sayhea ypuid ed," I said, smiling brightly.

But of course, Eigg couldn't leave well enough alone. Why would he?

"Actually," Eigg said thoughtfully, his laughter residing momentarily in his stomach—where it BELONGED, in my opinion—"I meant the blonde boy who was asking about you earlier today. He's definitely Al Bhed with those eyes of his. He's attractive, I suppose. Still, I didn't think guys like him were your type."

"Eigg! Fuimt oui lid ed uid ymnayto!" I scolded, though I could only be so upset. Vin wasn't my type anyway. I was merely caught in the midst of sibling rivalry—not over anything in particular, but just caught up in its momentum. "You're not helping here at all!"

"Rikku, ec dryd dnia?" Vin asked innocently enough, his bright eyes watery from the tears that threatened to burst from the betrayal he thought he was suffering. He's such a pain!

"Hu, ra'c zicd paehk y MEANIE!" I said, glancing over at Eigg from my shoulder. "Mega E cyet pavuna," I said, turning back to Vin in my arms.

"Drah fru'c dryd ujan drana?" Eigg asked, peering up at the tent not thirty feet away.

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I had rushed up the tent as quickly as I could, taking the long way, though I was sure he'd already seen me. I tried to get my hands clean, but sand wasn't the easiest thing in the world to dispel—especially when it was wet. I managed though, most of the gritty pieces finding a new home on the sides and backs of my shorts. That was more than I could say for my fingers on the other hand. The nails were drenched in said and dirt, nicked and dinged up from my constant run-ins with machina pieces, hidden beneath the sand.

As I steadily climbed up the slope, coming out of the tiny ditch I'd been in with Vin and his cruel, older brother Eigg, I saw him come into view. He stood there, completely enveloped with the feel of having returned here, to where we'd once been all together, all along. But god, was he beautiful. Of course, I'd never tell him that—his ego had to be as big as Sin. He didn't need any help from me inflating it. He was clad in his armor and a cocky smile, though I could only wonder what thought had crossed his mind. When he caught me from the corner of his eye, I held my breath and repressed a smile. It was always teasing that came next. Why ruin it with my newly found self?

"Hey, it's Cid's girl," he greeted, his green eyes smoldering with something I couldn't decipher.

"I have a name, ya know!" I hissed at him playfully, putting my hands on my hips defensively, though this was merely apart of the game.

"You know, the last time I saw you, I thought it was impossible for you to be any less naked than that," he mumbled, but I caught his words in the wind and blushed immediately.

"Eteud!" I screeched, punching him in the chest, only semi-playfully. When I composed myself again, I regarded him warily as he stood there, nervous.

"You're awfully feisty today," he grumbled, smoothing the pain from his chest with his hand.

"What are you doing here, Gippal?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, still gazing at him suspiciously.

"Don't act like you didn't miss me," he said smugly, peering over at me with his one good eye, the other one hidden behind his eye patch. "I know you did."

"I did not," I pouted, though I knew how much I had. It'd been nearly two years…again. He must think I like avoiding him.

"I guess saving the world makes you too busy to come see me. But, I understand," he said, feigning hurt feelings. I scoffed, rolling my eyes and punched him playfully again. "But it's just funny to find you here—willingly. I thought you and Cid kinda ground gears whenever you two were near one another?"

"Something like that," I said, giggling at his analogy. Now _that's_ a good one. I just I wish I had thought of it first. Damn him and his creative Al Bhed mind. "You never did answer my question, ya know."

"Didn't I?" he said, shrugging. He ran his hand through his spiky blonde hair and turned to give me a rare smile. "So—

"Rikku!" Vin called, standing beside his brother with something between a scowl and a grimace that looked oddly out of place on his golden, innocent face. His sneer became vicious when he saw Gippal inch closer to me with that casual playboy smile of his. "Fru ec drec kio?" Vin found himself demanding.

But Gippal played right along with him, knowing how I felt from how tense my shoulders were at Vin's voice. He knew this guy had no claims to me.

"E's Gippal, ran mujan, yldiymmo," he said casually, wrapping his arm around my waist firmly, pulling me close to his body, despite my squirming. Had he been working out or was he always this…masculine? "Didn't she tell you?"

"Knock it off, you jerk!" I bellowed, still squirming against him to no avail.

He held me firmly at his side, my body pressed quite comfortably to his, despite my better judgment. This was not what I had in mind when I thought about our over-due reunion. Of course, I was finding that things hardly ever went the way I planned them. I might as well give up planning altogether, since nothing ever went according to my plans anyway.

"Ymm nekrd, muja sivveh," he cooed, nuzzling his face against mine, thrusting my face suddenly into flames as my cheeks burst to life with color.

"Gippal!" I hissed back at him, turning awkwardly in his arms.

When I looked at him, I'd meant to hit him. I'd meant to scream his head off. I'd meant to do anything but what I'd actually done. I must have forgotten the proximity of his face to mine. When I turned to tell him off, I opened my mouth, but I captured something else instead. My mouth managed to find his in something like a kiss.

I was caught there for a long, lingering moment. Though, the way my head was spinning, trapped in the strength of his arms, it could have only been three wispy seconds for all I knew. I'd lost sense of time and space itself. I was in his world now.

"You two seem close," Yuna said, her hands tied behind her back, something like laughter echoing in her voice.

"At least, you look closer than you were two years ago," said Paine and I could hear the acidic amusement in her voice, too.

I tore myself from Gippal, slightly dazed and disoriented, but mostly together. What I couldn't comprehend was how it happened, since I'd given up trying to figure out what happened. It was true that I wanted to yell at him, to scream at him for being so—so damn Gippal-ish! But I couldn't. I think I rather liked the feeling. Shaking my head slightly, I cast a nervous and very toothy grin at Yuna and Paine, who were both smirking smugly at Gippal and I, as we stood there, wrapped up in our thoughts.

"Idiot!" I half-heartedly screaming, jabbing him in the chest playfully, though only he was aware of this. "What the heck was that?!"

"Aw, come on, kid. It's not like you didn't like it," he chided, ruffling my hair with his hand. I fumed underneath him and pulled away once more. He feigned hurt—or at least I think he was pretending. There was a flicker of honesty in that pained eye.

"That was terrible!" I squealed, though most of my momentum was gone now, replaced with that icky bubbly feeling I'd had when our lips were pressed together. "_Eugh!_ That was the worst!"

There goes that look again. I wonder if he's faking it…?

Something behind me made an agitated growl before storming off. Turning to look over my shoulder, I saw Vin's back before he disappeared down the slope, obviously going to bury his hands in a pile of machina before he used them to rip apart Gippal's masculine, muscled body. Now that I mentioned it, that actually sounded like something I'd pay money to see. Gippal would tear him to shreds effortlessly.

"I keep telling everyone that she and I are quite the couple," he said with a lazy smile, taking me back in his arms, crushing my body to his, though I didn't mind.

"Fryd yna oui cyoehk?!" I gawked, punching his chest lightly, halfheartedly again. He smiled down at me again and I just huffed in silence, Paine and Yuna watching us with amused grins.

"So, what's up, Dr. P?" he asked, turning to face Paine and Yuna. "I'm assuming you called me down here for a good reason—aside from seeing Cid's girl here."

"I have a name!" I cried from beside him, helplessly.

"I was the one who called you, Gippal," Yuna said lightly, a smile still tugging at the corners of her lips as she spoke. I could only grimace.

"Uhm…what's up?" he asked, staring at her strangely, though he was the one holding me to his body—_as a hostage_, mind you. "Is there something I can do for ya?"

"I need you to attend…" she said, trailing off as she twisted her fingers around themselves in a nervous habit she'd learned from me sometime ago.

"Attend what?" he asked, slightly miffed, as she was still beating around the bush. I didn't blame him. The anxiety was building inside of me, too, making me more frustrated than I was curious. Shocking, I know.

Paine sighed into the air, obviously just as annoyed as Gippal and I were.

"She's getting married and she wants you—and Rikku—to come along," she said, dejected as usual, despite the smile she got from saying 'you and Rikku.' I scoffed, only to be taken off guard by what I heard her say.

"Yunie's getting married?" I squealed, twisting in Gippal's arms, suddenly overwhelmed. "OH! It's about time that idiot proposed!"

"What idiot?" the idiot in question said, having walked down the sandy slope from the Celsius to where we were now, just a hundred or so yards from Cid's meeting tent. "Who? Me?"

"Well, duh!" I said, making a face at him.

"I'm not the one caught under my boyfriend's arms," he said, a low blow.

"He's not my boyfriend!" I shrieked, thrashing against Gippal, wishing he'd chime in and help me with this. He didn't. it wasn't like I expected him to anyway. Hope was a fleeting thing anyway.

"Aw, Rikku," he cooed into my ear, "don't you think it's about time we stopped lying to them and told them how passionately our hearts burn for one another?"

I gawked at him, my mouth slightly agape. Obviously, the sun was affecting his brain's ability to function—horribly. I growled at him before I tugged myself free, running to Yuna and Paine for safety. Of course, I had to remember how much of child Gippal was. He chased me around the three of them—Paine, Yuna and Tidus—until he finally caught me in his arms again, both of us out of breath.

"Rikku's always good for a laugh," he said at their suspicious eyes, letting me go, though I didn't wander far. I was too tired.

Despite their curious glances, though, that didn't make me move, either. Still tired. So I stood beside him—I must be a glutton for punishment or something. Honestly, staying beside the idiot who'd previously kissed me _and _held my hostage—out of breath and panting. But with him standing so close, it was hard to concentrate. Or maybe that was the sun? As we stood there in front of my friends, a blush—and not just any blush, mind you—crept into my face. Sometimes I hated being so golden. I refused to believe it was anything aside from the intense heat. I refused to believe it was him—especially him. It was the sun—I was out of breath, I kept telling myself. That was all it was, because it couldn't have anything to do with how close he was to me, how his panting deeply resembled…

And there goes that creative mind of mind, I cursed. Teenaged hormones! Curse them, too, I say. Always getting us innocent girls into trouble with those idiot machina men…

"So when is it?" I asked, my mind focused again. "When are you two love birds gonna tie the knot?" I asked, returning to my usual silly self, much to everyone's pleasure.

"In about two weeks," Tidus said, draping his arm over her slender shoulders. He smiled down at her and she returned the grin, something tender about the moment, so I looked away, not wanting to pry. "We came down here to get you and Cid—and everyone else we could."

"So then, why is he here?" I asked, casting a quick glance at Gippal.

"We thought you'd enjoy his company at the wedding. Besides, we decided that you're gonna be Yuna's maid of honor…and he's escorting you down the aisle," said Paine with a smirk.

"Gah!" I groaned, kicking the sand as Gippal laughed, nudging me playfully. I scowled at him, but let it pass. It wasn't his fault he was being asked to tag along, was it? "Wait—what?" I asked, snapping my head back at Paine, who seemed to have noticed the gears grinding.

"What part didn't you get?" said Paine in her monotone, which drove me absolutely insane sometimes. She was in serious need of a hug and I'd be the one to give it her, she just didn't know it yet. "Maid of honor. You. Gippal. Down the aisle together. Got it?"

This time, not even Gippal's strong arms would have been enough to stop me. Gravity didn't even stand a remote chance. I sprung free from the world like an enraged feline and pounced my cousin in such a fluid movement that no one expected it to have come from me—clumsy, klutzy Rikku. Of course, what they didn't see was how easily I tripped over the air, the momentum of my previous action making everything seem smoother than it really was. I was grateful. I clung to Yuna desperately, squealing happily as I bounced with her, still wrapped in my arms. She smiled and laughed with me, so I knew everything was all right.

"Oh, Yunie! You don't know how happy I am!" I squealed.

"I knew I couldn't have anyone else…no one but my best friend, of course," she said, hugging me tightly, smiling into the open air. "You'll be my maid of honor then? Honestly?"

"Of course, Yunie! You don't know how happy I am that you'd even consider me to take on such a big responsibility!"

"Tell me about it," hissed Paine from beside us sarcastically. "I'm guessing she hit her head or something…" But I could see the smile on her face, too, as slight as it might have been. That might have explained my next irrational move.

I sprung from Yuna and intertwined my arms around Paine, trapping her arms in my embrace, mainly so she wouldn't swat me away like the pest she'd claim me to be. On the inside, I'm sure that she loved every minute of my overly affectionate displays of care and love. She just had an image to keep, I told myself as I held her in my arms, smiling in spite of my impending danger. I guess that's what shocked me the most. I didn't feel her struggle or threaten me or anything that felt Paine-like. She just sort of stood there and let me hug her willingly, which was a change as far as I knew. Either that or…

Afraid of what I'd see when I looked up, I peered up nervously and squeaked at what I saw in her bright, now flaming red eyes. I leaped from her and hid behind Gippal, peering around him to see if the menacing fire had been put out. When I knew she wasn't looking, I stuck out my tongue at her, which Yuna saw and laughed at, Tidus mimicking her for my antics.

"Meanie!" I cried from the safety of Gippal's brawn, praying it would be enough to keep the red-eyed harpy away from me. In case that failed, I'd find Dezba and run into the safety of the scorching, heat-stroking weather. It was safer than Paine, fiend-less or not.

Then everyone burst out into laughter, Paine included, though it was more reserved than everyone else. I peered around at the laughing faces of my friends and smiled warmly. I had missed them…all of them.

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Later that afternoon, Yuna, Paine, Tidus and Baralai—for god knows what reason—decided to drag Gippal and I to a bridal shop in the middle of Luca. I tried to get Rosemary to help me out of it, but she and Cid seemed to be against me today. With warm, traitorous smiles, they let us go, dragged my our hairs, into the bustling city of Luca, the source of my last anxiety attack and spell of hallucinations. Wonderful.

Still, for the amount of fuss I managed to stubbornly ground out, it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. I didn't think so. Inside the bridal shop, there were about a thousand lovely, too beautiful to be real dresses. They hung like heavenly wings on hangers, staring in the light of their beauty, beckoning like the forbidden fruits they were and I was Eve. Oh how tempted I was.

I separated myself from Yuna and everyone else, finding an aisle towards the back, where I heard the dresses calling to me, asking to be stared at. I sucked up all of their grandeur, my eyes thirsty for their gifts. They were too lovely, too magnificent for me. I was a grungy Al Bhed teenager who spent her waking days digging in the sand for machina. This place was not for me—or anyone like me. It was for people like Yuna, reserved people. She deserved this sort of thing, not me. I deserved my sand and my machina.

But I could pretend too, couldn't I? I could act like I belonged here, though I clearly did not. That was the point of pretending though, wasn't it? Temporarily forgetting the truth to have some fantasy or another indulged momentarily. That was what I was doing. Pretending.

"They're so…they're so gorgeous." I breathed, too timid to actually press my fingers to their glorious auras, for fear of destroying whatever harmony they had.

"I never took you as that kinda girl," Gippal said from beside me, his eyes following my now quivering hands as I trailed them over the aura of the dresses. "But hey—you are a girl in your own special kinda way."

"Shut up," I said, though I wasn't paying him any attention. I was too absorbed in these lovely things, things that would please Rosemary and her lustful eyes that loved all things pretty. She would have _died_ if she came here and gone to the Farplane happily.

"You like them so much—why not try one of them on?" he suggested, now beside me with strange, swirling eyes. There was something there that I didn't know. Something unlike the Gippal I knew. "I don't think it's such a bad idea."

"Neither do I," said Yuna, something draped over her arm, wrapped in plastic. "That's why we brought you here. We picked out a dress for you—but you're so tiny that we didn't know if this would be small enough for you…"

That was just like Yuna, worrying herself to death. I couldn't blame her. It had to be something in our blood that made us worry so much. I was guilty of the same crime always, especially when she was. Worrying was our secondary hobby, saving the world being the first.

What had in her arms was my dress, something my shaking fingers were too afraid to touch, though my body willed them forward, pushing my legs into motion. I fell into place just in front of her, my hands hovering over the dress thoughtfully, hesitantly.

"Just take the dress already," Paine snapped from beside Baralai, who seemed particularly impressed with himself for something or another. "Go in there and try it on."

I did as I was told and scuffled to the back of the shop, where the changing rooms were.

It only took me a few moments to change my scanty work clothes into the beautiful, form-fitting maid of honor's dress. It was sleeveless, the bust held up by a different colored strand wrapped just beneath the bosom area. The fabric wrapped itself tightly around my wide hips and straightened itself down to the ground, billowing out slightly. The sleeveless creation was an odd color—it was a russet goldenrod, closer to bronze in the dim light. I guessed it was much lighter when I stepped out, which I was now dreading. But a gentle knock came to the door, and I realized it was only Gippal.

"Come on out already," he teased. "No one cares what you look like in there—we've all seen you in less than that dress before. Half-naked seems to fit the image I'm thinking of…"

I growled and stormed out of the dressing room, prepared to tell him off. However, for the second time that day, he stopped me. His expressionless face, his bulging eyes, his smiling mouth—they all made self-conscious suddenly. I turned from him, whirling around to see what had him so speechless. I wish I hadn't; whatever it was he was seeing had the same effect on me, the exact same. I stood there, wide-eyed and speechless, staring at myself. I wasn't a vain sort of person, but I had to admit that I was stunning. This dress did wonders for me. It was a wonder I hadn't noticed this before.

"You look gorgeous," Gippal finally managed to say, after he remembered how to breathe. "I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life…"

"Stop it, Gippal," I said, fighting the urge to blush, failing miserably.

As I stared at myself, I felt a pang of something too familiar rip at my chest. Its sudden onset was debilitating. I buckled at the knees and crumpled down, falling in on myself. I'm lucky that it was only Gippal there. I couldn't have suffered like this—freely, openly and unashamed of myself—if they'd been there. I just couldn't have. I wasn't surprised to feel him kneeling beside me, holding me in his arms.

"Rikku—hey, Rikku? You in there?" he asked, whispered into my ear. "What's wrong?" he asked as a lone tear streamed down my face. "Rikku…?"

"I'm just…happy," I said, knowing it was all a lie.

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Author's Note: I know that I put a lot of Al Bhed in here, but it seemed natural. However, if that becomes a problem, then I'll gladly change the way I put the translations in here. It might be easier for you, my readers that way. If that's the case, would you mind awfully much telling me so? I'm ever so willing to please.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.

Translations

E's kmyt ed'c hud cu rud dutyo. E drehg ed yldiymmo nyehat. –I'm glad it's not so hot today. I think it actually rained.

Tet ed? E ryth'd hudelat. – Did it? I hadn't noticed.

Dryd sekrd aqbmyeh drec fad cyht. Ed sygac dygehk dras ybynd dryd silr aycean, druikr. – That might explain this wet sand. It makes taking them apart that much easier, though.

Oui'na nekrd. E ryth'd druikrd uv ed mega dryd. Pid cdemm, fryd tu oui cibbuca pnuikrd uh dra cittah nyeh? – You're right. I hadn't thought of it like that. But still, what do you suppose brought on the sudden rain?

Fru ghufc? Syopa ed ryc du tu fedr Rikku's haf jecedun. – Who knows? Maybe it has to do with Rikku's new visitors.

Ed'c hud fryd ed cuihtc mega, Vin. Ra uhmo sayhc Paine yht Yuna. Ra'c zicd paehk y sayhea ypuid ed. – It's not what it sounds like, Vin. He only means Paine and Yuna. He's just being a meanie about it.

Eigg! Fuimt oui lid ed uid ymnayto! – Eigg! Would you cut it out already!

Rikku, ec dryd dnia? – Rikku, is that true?

Hu, ra'c zicd paehk y MEANIE! Mega E cyet pavuna. – No, he's just being a MEANIE! Like I said before.

Drah fru'c dryd ujan drana? – Then who's that over there?

Eteud. – Idiot.

Fru ec drec kio? – Who is this guy?

E's Gippal, ran mujan, yldiymmo. – I'm Gippal, her lover, actually.

Ymm nekrd, muja sivveh. – All right, love muffin.

Fryd yna oui cyoehk?! – What are you saying?!


	7. Till Death Do Us Part

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

It's Monday, which means another update! Yay! But, before we get to that, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! It's because of you that I keep writing and with your encouraging words, I shall keep writing. I promise.

Now, on with the story!

Chapter 7: Till Death Do Us Part

The wedding was in less than a week and I had more butterflies lurching in my stomach than the Farplane had pyreflies. To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. To say that I was prepared for this was a poor choice in words. To say that I was the happiest person in all of Spira—well, actually, that was about on par. I don't even think Yuna could beat me in that contest, even though it was her wedding. I realized how alike we were just then and I cursed our similar blood. We were happy to share in other people's joy; that gave us joy.

Yuna decided to have her wedding in Luca, where all of her friends could come. Naturally, Cid decided to park the Celsius just hovering above the place and had shoved every willing—and even a few unwilling—person aboard to attend the ceremony. Trust me, I have no idea where we managed to shove the two or three extra dozen people we had—not to mention the rest of us who were there first—but we managed. Somehow. We'd been sitting above Luca for three days, waiting for the last two days to elapse…waiting for Yuna's wedding.

"Oh! I'm so nervous," Yuna squealed beside me, her body tense with excitement. I could tell how happy she was beneath the layer of cold feet. "I've never done anything this big before!"

"Said the girl who saved the world twice," said Paine sarcastically from her corner beside the bed. We'd taken to sharing one room together; my room, as it was. "Relax, Yuna. It's not like anyone's asking you to defeat Vegnagun _and _Sin at the same time. All anyone's asking you to do is tell the man you love how much you love him."

"In front of a crowd of people," I added, unable to control myself. She instantly paled, then burst in the bloom, as it was the brightest shade of red I'd ever seen. "Oh, but relax, Yunie. Paine is right—it's nothing major. You know how much you love Tidus—I think we all do. How hard is it to tell the rest of the world that? Not like it matters what they say," I said offhandedly.

"You're right!" Yuna said, her confidence returning at once. "I can do this!"

"That's the spirit, Yunie!" I cried, jumping around the room enthusiastically. I received a very Paine-like grunt of disproval, but I paid her no mind, continuing about in the same way that I had been before. "This is going to be the bestest wedding in all of Spira!"

Yuna laughed with me and even Paine spared something that looked like light amusement. We were comfortable in one another's company finally. After the day's work—getting things ready and all that other matrimonial junk—we wound down after a good meal. We found our weary, tired feet dragging us back to the room we'd come to share. We tossed pillows and blankets into the middle of the floor, like usual, and made ourselves a comfortable bed. We lounged there, clad in naught by our pajamas and happy faces. The three of us lay together in that room, going over things that we knew would happen.

Wakka was always a Romantic at heart; he wouldn't be able to stop blubbering. Lulu, mother of his child and loving wife, would be there to keep him in check. She'd remind him that "his little Yuna" wasn't so little anymore. Of course, he was Tidus's best man, so it might prove to be harder for her to console him from the other side of the altar, Yuna's matron of honor, as it were.

Paine speculated that Cid would burst into tears after walking her down the aisle and handing her over to Tidus. With him being her uncle and all—not to mention the only real father-figure she had left in her life—he'd definitely get choked up. I had to agree with her there; Cid was a good actor, but anyone who knew him knew how emotional "his girls" made him. Yuna going off and getting married would string a tender nerve.

"But Rosemary will be there to save him," I admitted, bouncing on my knees as I sat there with them, a wide smile coming to my face as I thought of the lovely Al Bhed woman. "He'll try to tough it out for her at first."

"But he can't can he?" Yuna wondered thoughtfully.

"Nope!" I cheered.

"Like father like daughter," Paine mumbled under her breath, though I didn't get the gist of her comment. She later added, "Neither one of you seems to be able to hold in your emotions. You wear them on your sleeves."

"Stop being such a meanie!" I retorted, shaking my fist at her. She scoffed, rolling her eyes at my obviously empty threat. That's one way to get rid of all the hot air in a balloon.

We laughed on and on like this, thinking of some of the wackiest things that could go wrong—from shoopuffs coming in and wrecking everything to Leblanc trying to sing. At that last one, we all shared a collective shudder; have you _heard_ her sing? No? I didn't think so. So I'll tell you. She sounds like a fast-paced tempo that got slaughtered in the middle by something hard and sandy. It was gritty and watery and bubbly and unwelcomingly loud. In short—she sucked on ice.

Caught up in all of our laughter, I didn't recognize the fading feel of light happiness to the heavy feel of serious undertones. It didn't dawn on me until Yuna had taken on the strange and awkward pose, her knees pressed to her chest and her face contorted in some cross between thinking and reasoning. She always looked so helpless like that; it made me want to reach out and hold her. When she suddenly peered up at me and caught me staring at her, I couldn't hide the blush; I couldn't pretend like I _hadn't_ been looking at her when I so clearly had been _gawking_.

"Rikku," she said thoughtfully, peering at me with her mismatched eyes, freezing me to my seat. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully—another bad habit she'd picked up from hanging out with me too long. I peered up at her with unsure eyes, my mouth twitching into a nervous, very Rikku-ish smile.

"Y-Yes?" I asked, trying not to sound so on edge as I actually was.

"Rikku…have you ever been in love before?" she asked. "Like, have you ever wanted to settle down and commit to one person? Have you ever wanted to just be with one person—with any one person in the whole world? Is there someone that you…that you love?"

It wasn't something I was expecting, so I had to fight the urge to scream at her for the absurdity. Once I'd reined in control over my emotions, I mulled over her question just as thoughtfully as she'd asked me. Sitting back on my haunches, I could only think of one person that would match a similar description. I shook my head, thinking stupidly to myself. He was an awful choice—love and him didn't belong in the same thought, let alone the same world. He just didn't seem the type.

"I doubt it," I answered honestly, glancing back over at her, just in time to see the doubt that lingered in her eyes. "What? What are you looking at me like that for, Yunie?" I demanded.

I gawked at her warily, her piercing eyes putting me on the defensive. The way she looked at me as I sat there reminded me much of how Paine tended to regard me whenever I said any more than a word. It was like she was measuring my validity against my body posture. It was then that I realized that she'd been spending way too much time with Paine, especially if she could effectively use that gaze against me.

_First objective on my list of things to do…_ I thought mentally.

"She's lying," said Paine simply, not even bothering to gaze at me.

"Rikku, I knew it!" Yuna accused. She pointed her finger at me and I blushed. But she added something that was even more embarrassing than being caught in a lie by my naïve cousin, of all people. She said something that was even more accusing than the first. "You love Gippal!"

"Love is such a strong word…" I tried nervously, wringing my hands together. "He's just my friend, honestly!"

I didn't know when the conversation had changed from happy and light to serious and dark. I didn't know when the conversation changed from talking about Yuna's wedding to my personal love affairs—or lack thereof, as I would remind anyone who dared think of what Yuna had just said. I didn't know when the conversation had unwittingly—or wittingly for all I knew—shed light on something so vitally secret that I'd hidden it from myself. I didn't know when the conversation had gone from being friendly and preserving to obtrusive and belligerent, poking its unwanted nose into my business, into my heart. I didn't know any of that. I didn't care to know.

What I did know, however, was how badly I wanted to reverse this train of thought. I wanted to make it all go away so that I wouldn't have to deal with any of it. Couldn't I get a break from all the emotional trauma for just _five frikken minutes?_ Hadn't I suffered enough in one year to absolve me from everything else? Hadn't I gone through enough? The answer to that was obvious. Apparently I hadn't. Real shocker there. The world still didn't think my debt was paid—whatever debt that might have been, since I don't remember taking a loan from the world intentionally. I hadn't even made any wild promises when on the brink of death—not a single emergency 'If you save me from this I swear I'll never…'

None of that had happened, yet I was still suffering. I didn't get that part at all. I didn't get why I had to be the one suffering. Why was it always me?

I couldn't stay on this path for too much longer. I'd somehow managed to forget that I was in the same room was my nosey friends, who'd concluded from my silence the validity in Yuna's accusation. It wasn't true, of course, I'd tell them so blasé. I'd tell them how wrong they were. Of course, that all depended on how well I could manage to lie to them—with a straight face and all that.

"You guys are insane," I breathed shakily. Well, there goes that perfect lie.

"Oh my god, Rikku! You really do love Gippal!" my cousin exclaimed, her eyes wide with what I would call something akin to acknowledged understanding. All she had needed was the truth, from my lips. Now that she had it, she could do nothing but nod slowly, understanding. "Wow. Paine wasn't lying…"

"Paine?" I gawked, throwing her a nasty, curiously defiant gaze. "When'd you—?"

"He told me about you," she said simply.

"Oh."

I'd nearly forgotten that they'd been apart of the Crimson Squad together. Still, I didn't think that he'd waste his completely ambiguous past to bring up me in conversation. Wasn't his goal in life to have as many "admiring" fans as possible? Last time I checked, talking about some other girl while in the presence of another was kinda…deconstructive? What was he thinking?

_I've been saying that about him a lot,_ I mused to myself with a rare smile, one he tended to elicit out of me after a long bout of teasing amongst us. I found that thinking about him had the same affect, and I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed this. Paine smiled wryly, her eyes trailing over me before she and Yuna shared an acknowledged grin.

"It's not like that!" I shrieked quickly, but the damage had already been done. My blush—damn you red cheeks!—had done me in, as had my glossed-over eyes. That didn't mean, nor should it ever suggest that I was going to give up just like that. Could you imagine the state that would leave me dignity and pride in? "He and I are just friends, Yunie! We used to live close to one another, that's all. I don't like him like that! Eugh! We're just friends!"

"I've learned something, being a fighter." I turned to stare at Paine, her eyes thoughtful and light, a first for her. "There are many things in this world that you must fight for—yourself, your home, your pride, your friends and family—those are all weak and fragile things," she said, turning to me in particular. "However, there is one thing in this world that is strong enough to fight on its own. It doesn't need to be protected. In fact, it's quite the other way around. We are protected by it."

Imagining that Paine needed protection didn't ease the bubble that had sunk down into my stomach and settled itself there. In fact, it only proved to agitate the jittery thing. I say thing because I'm not sure what to call it. It's a "thing." Staring at her face, I saw lines etched there that hadn't been in place moments ago; her knowledge made her older. No—it made her wiser to the rest of us and the world acknowledged that.

"What…is it that protects us?" I asked, knowing the moment I said it that I wanted to take it all back.

"The truth," she said simply. "If your words were the truth, then you wouldn't need to fight so strongly for it."

I knew I shouldn't have asked her. Damn my curiosity—it always gets me into trouble. Now I was left to face Yuna and Paine's faces—knowing that I'd crumble under the pressure. Again I found myself wondering when we changed from talking about Yuna and Tidus's happily-ever-after to my happily-ever-never. Grumbling would do me no good, but the truth? Was I really ready to put that out into the world? Was I really ready for that truth to be accepted by the world? I hardly doubted it.

I shook my head to rid myself of the thought, but there he was, smiling like an idiot in my head as usual. He was always smiling. I don't think much ever got to him—nothing in the world made Gippal change. He was always just Gippal. Unchanging, unaltered. He was the same person that I'd known when we were children. He was the same person that I'd met in Djose. He was Gippal—leader of the Machine Faction—but Gippal all the same. That was the Gippal I…

"Is it true?" Yuna asked impatiently, pulling me from my grim stupor. "Rikku?"

"Love is such a strong word…" I tried again, failing the moment the words slipped from my mouth. I knew that I'd lost the battle. Yuna's elated squeal was my decisive action gong. It was over.

"Oh, RIKKU!" she squealed, flinging herself from her side of the room into me. I fell back from the sudden impact, crushed under my cousin's weight, though that wasn't what bothered me. The way she cried my name—it sounded like she pitied me. I didn't want that, but I guess, in some ways, I deserved as much.

Do you think I wanted to have feelings for _him_? Eugh, I say again, eugh!

"Is that why you two were kissing the other day?" Paine asked casually, brining back to mind that terribly wonderful thing that had transpired—completely by accident—the other day near Cid's tent. I shuddered. "Maybe you're progressing faster than I—"

"NO!" I said firmly from underneath my cradling cousin, who I pushed aside gently. "I haven't _progressed_—," I used her word, though the thought made me shake, "—anywhere with him. That was an accident! I just turned funny in his arms, that's all. He didn't mean to kiss me."

"But he did kiss you back, didn't he?" said Paine, like she already knew the answer. When I gave it some thought, however, I slumped with realization. She was right. Oh joy. "He kissed you back and you're just now realizing this? You're a lot denser than I thought you were. My god…this is going to take some time."

"What's going to take some time?"

"Well, don't you want to tell him how you feel?" asked Yuna, peering at me with her brows pushed together in a worried crease. I shrugged, blatantly acting nonchalant. That was the _last_ thing I wanted to do in this lifetime or the next. "Oh, but Rikku—you have to tell him! He has a right to know—"

"I doubt it," I grumbled, immediately pouting at the thought of what _he_ had the right to know. "He doesn't deserve anything from me," I added on stubbornly.

"Rikku…"

"No, she's right, Yuna. Why give him a freebie? He should have to work for it, shouldn't he?" said Paine and I immediately didn't like the tone in her voice. Of course, I didn't get a chance to challenge her on it; someone knocked.

"I'll get it," I said, forgetting the entire gist of our conversation, like the violent knocking was strong enough to snap my concentration. It might have been, actually. I pulled the door open and stared—no, gawked is more the appropriate word here—at the person on the other side.

"Speak of the devil," said Paine, who obviously hadn't forgotten our conversation.

"Hello, Gippal," said Yuna politely, giving me a knowing glance before she tugged Paine and herself out of the room, leaving us there. Alone. Together. _Great_.

"You girls are up a little late, aren't you?" he said, stepping into our habitat of blankets and pillows tossed hazardously all over the place. He smiled at my discomfort, crossing his arms over his chest. "So what's up, Cid's girl?"

"I have a name!" I stammered, stomping my foot to close the distance between us some. "Besides," I said, crossing my arms over my chest the same way that he did, "you came and knocked on my door. So what's up with you, machina man?" Oh, I know that one had to get him. Of course, it didn't.

"Nothing much," he said, leaning against the door, still peering at me from his one good eye. "I guess I was just missing my favorite girl…"

"Yeah, right," I said, rolling my eyes. I made to move away from him, so that I could yell at him and kick him out from the other side of the room, the safer side of the room. He must have known that was coming; he snagged my arm and pulled me roughly against his body. "Gippal! What are you—?"

"We need to talk," he said, my arm still held tightly in his hand.

"Sure, if you don't break my arm off," I said, all but putty in his hands. He really was quite the charmer. But he let me go and after I checked that everything was still in tact, I turned back to smile toothily at him. "So where to, machina man?"

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Gippal and I stood outside, just a few yards away from the loading dock of the _Celsius_, just the two of us together. Surprisingly, when the sun sets, the heat immediately disappears. It's still hot, sometimes, but it's much more bearable. The only reason we don't dig at night is because the increased amount of fiends. But they mind us and we mind them.

He and I walked for a long while, lulled into a false sense of comfort by the murmuring wind. It didn't feel right to break apart the serenity, so we were both silent. We walked in unison, not speaking, just listening. It was nothing supernatural, but it felt that way. It was a strange sense of awe that kept me silent. I'd learned how mysterious the world had become and I'd come to understand the need for silence and secrecy, occasionally. Sometimes, you needed to see something in order to believe it. This was one of those moments.

When he stopped, I didn't mind. I stopped several paces behind him, my fingers clutching to one another for support at my stomach. It was hard not to fidget in such a strange sensation. It wasn't Gippal or the desert. More or less, it was the two of them interacting together, like it had somehow set my senses ablaze. We were both Al Bhed, but he'd always seemed different to me, different from everyone else. He and I were alone in that world of differences and we had reveled in that. But time had changed and I wondered…had he changed too?

"Something's on your mind?" I said, staring at his back, my brow creased.

At first, he didn't say anything at all. He was completely silent, completely still. It was almost like the wind had heard his silent cry; it stopped murmuring and closed itself around us. The world was blocked out and the only feeling was the growing intensity. It had become too much to bear, but it wasn't intolerable. Just bothersome.

"Gippal? What's wrong?" I tried again, worry washing over my features.

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" he asked, something coating the calmness in his voice, something I wouldn't like later on.

"Of course you are," I said, suddenly very confused. I dared another step closer to him, and this caught his attention. He regarded me briefly and then turned back to the sand. "What's this all about, Gippal? What's wrong?"

"Cid told me what happened between you three," he said.

It took a moment for his words to sink in. It took a while for the gravity to pull me back down into reality, where I settled and mulled it over. When recognition dawned, I was hurt. I took a step back, my face and hands suddenly stinging painfully at his undertone accusation. I shook my head to rid the feeling, but it only lingered, wrapping itself around me. I stood up straight and wished I hadn't. I felt aloof, my feet no longer touching the ground, though I was firmly planted. Gravity grabbed me and let me go and left me to float, as guilt often made you do, into the air…gone with my sickness.

"Gippal?"

"I'm your friend…but you hid here," he said painfully. "You hid from them and me and the rest of the world, Rikku. I'm your friend…but you hid here. You didn't come to me with any of your problems. Isn't that what friends are for?" he said, resentment rising and falling.

"You act like it was easy for me to have the world pulled out from beneath me!" I shouted at him, my tiny hands quivering at my sides. "You act like I knew what I was doing, waiting for them every single day! I waited for them because I thought they'd remember me eventually. Yes, you're my friend—but they're my friends too, you know! And you saw me…you saw what it had done to me. You saw what friendship did to me. Did you expect me to put my faith in another friend?"

"Rikku…"

I turned my face up to him, nevermind the tears streaming my face. I was unashamed of my pain. It was mine, after all, why should I be ashamed to have it? I'd suffered through it and I'd won myself over. It hadn't beaten me…that time.

"I wish you would have said something to me," he said slowly, contemplating. "I wish you could have told me. I would have come to your rescue—"

"I'm still your princess?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

"I'm still your prince," he said affirmatively. "And your best friend. I'd come and help you out no matter what. I could have helped…or at least, I would have tried to. No one deserves that, Rikku—especially you. I understand what they were trying to do…but there were better ways for it. There has to be more than one way to skin a coeurl."

"They did what they thought was best for me," I said slowly, wrapping my arms around my barely-covered body. I had to admit, walking outside in a short-sleeved shirt wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had…

"What was best for you," he echoed hollowly. He stared down at me for a long moment, not entirely convinced. I didn't blame him, of course. It was a hard thing to swallow. "That does not give them an excuse," he said dryly. Looking at me, he added with a sigh, "Then again, this is you we're talking about."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said in my Rikku-ish laughter.

"You never could hold a grudge," he said, smiling now, finally. I relaxed a bit and I'm thinking he noticed. He wrapped me in his arms, his strong, masculine scent filling my nose. It wasn't so bad. "I was worried about you, Rikku. I hadn't seen you for two years…again. I thought maybe that was it."

"What was it?" I asked, my hands pressed against his chest. I stared at him, strange emotions and feelings lingering where they shouldn't have been. It made me antsy.

"I thought I'd never see you," he said, brushing aside a rebel braid. "I thought I lost you."

I wasn't the type to get choked up, but the intensity of his words made me shake, made me tremble. I buried my face into his chest and heaved a great sigh. He had every right to think such horrible things. I'd thought them myself and I wondered if I'd ever resurface again. I'd been buried under so much that it had been my only survival instinct—breathe. It was all I could do, all I'd been able to do. And now here he was, giving my mouth-to-mouth. He'd come to save me…

"Gippal, you're such an idiot…" I whispered slowly, trying to keep my voice steady. I patted his chest softly, shaking my head into him. "I didn't want you involved. I didn't want you to see me like that…. It was awful for me to look at myself every single day. I hated knowing what I was doing to myself…to those people I cared about. I couldn't shield Cid and everyone here but…I could protect you from having to see me…like this."

"You wanted…to protect me?"

"Isn't that what I've been doing my whole life?" I said, staring up at him with a hint of a soft smile. "You're a menace to society left unattended, machina man."

"And you're not, Cid's girl?" he asked, quirking a brow at me playfully.

"I saved the world twice, I'll have you know," I said matter-of-factly, though it was harder than I though to attempt hiding the laughter in my voice.

"Said the girl who had to camp out in the Thunder Plains for a week," he mumbled, ruffling my hair again, still just as playfully.

And just like that, the tension was gone.

We stood together, our bodies pressed. My cheek was against his chest and I listened to the fluttering motion of his heart, lulled into serenity by it. He watched me, I knew, a smile now tugging at the corners of his full mouth, a mouth I'd kissed plenty of times in "accidental" coincidences and collisions. Sometimes, I think he would plan them, just to see my reaction. But it would backfire on him and we'd end up in a messy tangle of arms, legs and lips. He was wonderful fun, though, so I never would mind. The other day was no different.

I strummed my fingers against his chest after a while as he rocked us. We swayed from one side to the other, though I hardly noticed the gentle motion; it was so peaceful outside that nothing seemed to bother my thick noggin. He laughed at the lightness of my fingers and his suddenly sound made me jump, though he held me firmly against him. I was enjoying myself against his chest, listening to ever oddity his chest made. I wanted to absorb all of sounds and keep them locked inside of my head forever.

Gippal and I had this strange understanding. Maybe it was an Al Bhed thing. Maybe it was a Gippal and Rikku thing. Either way, I wasn't sure. It was a thing, a piece of beauty some might say. Whatever he and I said, it was suddenly there, having crafted itself from the thickness of our relationship, strung together like cloth from the absurdity of reality. One day we couldn't stand one another, the next we were inseparable friends. We were friends; that was what I'd say held the most gravity in the world. A bond had been made.

The same held true here; he was there with me, holding me through this difficulty that I was having, understanding how the world seemed to move. It wasn't subconscious, almost like a second nature to either of us. He was angry because I had left him out and hidden from him my pain. He wanted to be the one to fix it and I'd denied him that. I didn't blame him for that feeling. I'd have felt the same and I know it, probably better than he did.

"Do you ever think it was something else?" he asked, playing in my hair casually, though his good eye was glued to my face, waiting for a tangible reaction.

"What do you mean?" I asked, staring back at him.

"Do you ever think it wasn't your friends that caused the terrible pain you've been feeling?" he asked me slowly, his hand trailing from my hair to rest on my cheek. "Ever think it was maybe something else causing you to feel so…alone?"

That's when I forgot how to breathe.

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Yuna's wedding was absolutely wonderful. Their vows were perfect. Their kiss was perfect. Of course, now that it was over, we could all laugh about it. Waking up with that weight on one's shoulders was nothing to laugh about. But it was over now and everything had gone as close to planning as we could ever hope for. Wakka cried. Cid cried. Kimahri cried. Hell, I was even close to shedding a few myself. Yuna was so gorgeous that I _had_ to. Tidus was pretty spiffy, too, but no one ever cares about the groom.

After the ceremony, we all got shipped back to Besaid, where Yuna wanted to have her reception. It was her home, after all. Why shouldn't she have it there with all of her friends and family? That's where we were now; in the middle of the biggest celebration since the last two times we saved the world.

Besaid was decked out in some of the brightest lights, all of them wrung around the trees and bushes to give the beach a homey, welcoming party feel. It worked, and I'm not entirely sure how. Lulu, Yuna's matron of honor, had spent the entire day before preparing for the reception while I prepared Yuna for the emotional levels that come with a wedding. I think Lulu had it harder, especially dealing with Vindina and Wakka. But she managed.

I've never seen the island look so alive. Everything was decorated and splashed with bright, friendly colors, colors I didn't think Lulu could understand. But she was feeling generous, one might call it, especially now that the bump on her belly had grown into something much more noticeable. Vindina was nearly two; I suppose he needed a little brother or sister to play with, too.

She'd somehow convinced someone to put out four tables, all of them overflowing with food from every corner of Spira. These tables sat along the beach, beneath the towering palm trees and clear, blue sky. On one of these tables, she'd set aside the wonderful, lovely wedding cake that Yuna had picked out and decorated with pink to contrast the white. Presents were placed around the crystal base of the cake holder and set up in a very fashionable way.

On the other side of the beach, there was a long, square table and many round tables, all of them scattered in a patterned, chaotic fashion along the beach. All of the wedding party was supposed to sit at the square table, while the guests were supposed to sit at the round ones. They were dressed in pink and gold tablecloths, the chairs white with pink bows tied around the armrests.

After the wedding ceremony, we all changed from our fancy dresses into something less formal and more active. Paine changed into a black and red suit. So typical. Yuna was a bit more reasonable. She and I had found her the cutest dress. It was long, peach-colored and eloquent, a sleeveless wonder. She wore a three-inch heel, classy and delicate. That was so Yuna. I, on the other hand, well I wore something a bit more revealing. I was never one for large amounts of unnecessary clothes. I kept it short and to the point. Form fitting orange and blue halter dress. Strap-up heels and a chocobo-feather hairpin. I told you it was simple.

After dinner and those awkward happily-ever-after-wedding-speeches, we were allowed to go out and be merry. Translation: Party time!

Apparently, being a married woman brought out the party animal in Yuna. She and Tidus have never been so close. Their bodies could have been made of the same flesh and there was still no reason for them to be so…"close." But they were the life of the party, shaking and gyrating all over one another. I couldn't hold back my laughter; it we well earned. Paine joined in along with me, until she was carried off by Baralai into a secluded corner to talk "travel."

I've learned something about myself. I hate innuendos. They're pointless and childish. I should know.

That night, I sat at a table by myself, a cup of something fizzy settled on the table next to me. I hadn't paid it much attention after the first initial sips. I was dizzied up in my thoughts, all of them centering around a particular Al Bhed, who was having a delicate—or bored, I couldn't tell—conversation with some brunette. I guess she was pretty, in that weird, face-doesn't'-go-with-her-body sort of way. Her face was pretty. Her slight build was pretty. But they just did not go well with one another. There was something missing? I watched them talking and I felt myself wondering what it was that had him so caught up in the way her mouth moved. When he made that grimace, however, I knew.

He was bored.

"There you are," I said lightly, wrapping my arm around him, nuzzling into his cheek. The strangely put together woman gave me an awkward 'Do you mind?' glare and huffed.

"Oh, hey honey," he said, smiling pleasantly, leaning down to kiss my forehead sweetly.

"Honey?" she spit, her upper lip curling nastily.

"Yeah. We've been dating since forever," I said with a smile. _In your face!_ "I was just giving my regards to my cousin. She's such a pretty bride, isn't she? We wish to be that happy with one another someday."

"Uh-huh."

She didn't stay long. She regarded me oddly and made some excuse about having seen one of her friends. She disappeared into a crowd of people and was gone. Gippal relaxed beside me and sighed, turning to me with a grateful smile.

"You're welcome," I told him, smiling brightly.

"I could have handled it myself," he said, arrogant as always.

"Right," I said flatly. "Of course, watching that might have been more entertaining than this. These old people don't know how to have fun!" I complained, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Where'd Paine run off to?" Gippal asked, still smiling haughtily.

"Ugh. She and Baralai ran off to talk 'travel,'" I said, grimacing at the thought. "For crying out loud! Jeez, like I really needed to know that. They could have just _left_."

"I don't know what it is about weddings that makes me feel so lovey-dovey," I heard him say, wriggling his brows at me suggestively.

"Not you too, machina man!" I cried, shoving him playfully. "Weddings obviously affect people and their ability to think clearly!" I nearly shrieked the last part, earning me several grunts and even a few condescending glares, which I returned with a stuck-out tongue and a hissed "Meanie!"

"Let's get you somewhere safer," Gippal laughed into my ear, wheeling me around and giving me a light, gentle push towards the inner part of the city, away from the "party-goers" and the festive lights.

_Thank god. _

-----------------------------------------------------

I sat staring at the fire, the large bonfire in the middle of the city. I watched the flames flicker and dance. It was beautiful and hypnotizing. Gippal stared with me, his one good eyed now trained on alluring flames, watching as they danced and weaved intricately into one another. It was a beautiful thing to watch, especially with him beside me. I was sleepy, dazed from the lengthy day, mostly from the weight. I leaned against him, the light thud of my crashing into him echoing quietly—a tinge of mellowness to the action—into this emptiness we shared.

"Tired already, Cid's girl?" he teased lightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to keep me from falling forward into the fire. Though it would make for a good laugh, it was probably a little more dangerous than our usual thirst for excitement.

"I'm not tired," I lied, though my yawn quickly put me to shame. "All right, maybe just a little bit…."

Gippal smiled down at me. I peered up at him and gave him a lazy smile, one that made his cheeks grow wider for some reason. He was right, as usual. I had missed his company and now found myself wishing I had been strong enough to run to his protective arms and bury pieces of myself there. He'd have helped me through it, teased me until I cracked. That would have been acceptable. I wouldn't hate myself so much.

"I should take you home," he said after a while, murmuring into my hair. "Cid would kill me if I turned you into a party girl, you know."

"Aw, lighten up!" I managed, just before a spell of hiccups overcame my tiny frame. "I'll just—_hic!_—give it a second—_hic!_—I promise to—_hic!_"

"Rikku…" he said warily, holding my shoulders firmly.

"Fine! I'll just go grab my stuff and you can take me home," I murmured, staring into the fire to avoid his piercing gaze.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked, watching me stagger to my feet. God, it had been a long day. Too long.

"No, I'm all right. I'll run back, find Yunie and tell her bye," I said cheerfully. "Then you can take me home and all that."

Gippal grimaced but he finally relented. His hand dropped from mine and he watched me turn on my feet—somewhat gracefully—and walk back towards the beach. I wasn't sure how I did it either. I wasn't graceful or eloquent. Clumsy was more appropriate. Whatever it was I'd been drinking, I needed much more of it. A constant supply would do me some good, I guessed.

As I staggered back to the dwindling party, I quickly scoped through familiar faces until my eyes finally landed on one particular set of red eyes. I hesitantly walked over, very aware of how tightly Baralai had his arms wrapped around her waist and how comfortably molded she seemed to be with him. I stood there for a moment before either of them noticed me.

"Rikku? What is it?" Paine asked, tugging away from Baralai, though his grip never grew lax around her waist.

"Well, Gippal's taking me home," I said, blushing at the implications.

"Is he now?" said Baralai, raising his brow in surprise. "Well, I'm happy for the two of you."

"Oh come on, Baralai!" I said, my face twisted in unwillingness. I didn't want to follow his train of thought. "Not you, too! What has Paine been telling you? No, as a matter of fact—I don't wanna know. None of it's true, anyway!"

"You two are dating, then?" he asked, curiosity piqued.

"_NO_!"

"I suppose…"

While Baralai trailed off into his thoughts, Paine fixed me with a stern look. Knowing what that meant, too, I blushed and stubbornly addressed her, arms over my chest. I was defiant, I knew that much. She knew it too, given how rigid she'd suddenly become, despite the long, slender arm wrapped around her waist as if for dear life. _Maybe my life?_

"Rikku. Gippal is taking you home?" she asked slowly, though her eyes betrayed her calm demeanor. I knew what was bubbling at the back of her mouth, the question she desperately wanted to ask me now.

"Yes," I said innocently, smiling at her nervously, all my teeth showing.

"And then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you two going to stay there together…alone?" she asked, still refusing to indulge the very question she wanted to ask, the one now sitting on the tip of her tongue. It wanted to jump out into the world and I would catch it so swiftly…if it "slipped."

"We're not doing anything like that," I said, closing my eyes to hide the visual images. That only made it worse, actually, so I opened them quickly. She thought I'd come up with another something, another question to ask, which I had by some strange coincidence. "Hey. Where's Yunie? I haven't seen her…"

"She and Tidus were heading off towards inside of Besaid," she said dryly. I guess she hasn't forgiven me for that sexual innuendo. "If you hurry, you'll catch them."

"Uhm, all right," I said, biting my lip slightly. "Well, bye then!"

-----------------------------------------------------

I retraced my steps back to Besaid, humming a wordless song, wondering where I'd learned it.

"I blame that machina man," I sighed into the murmuring wind.

I kept walking, waiting to bump into either of my cousins. Now that they were married, he was just as much family as she was. Some reason, this quickened my pace. Now I really wanted to see them, to see their smiling faces. I wanted to tell Yuna one more time how happy I was for her and punch Tidus in the arm. I'd playfully threaten him to take care of my cousin or else. He would laugh at me, like always, but know how serious I was underneath all of the laughter and smiles. That delighted me more than anything.

However, finding them would be harder than I thought. I guess Gippal was the one who put the fire out. We were leaving, so why not? I'm sure he didn't want to burn down Besaid for us being reckless. That would be a sure way to get us uninvited to anything else that ever came about. They'd never trust us then! I just wished he would have waited until I got back. It would have been much easier for me to walk if I knew where the heck I was going. Gippal knew how clumsy I was—this was another of his pranks, I just knew it.

_Damn he's good,_ I thought, smiling into the dimness.

I was going to call out to him, but something distracted me. A glint in the darkness managed to catch my eye, taking my attention to something else. I furrowed my brow, trying to think of what Besaid was like when it wasn't shrouded in darkens. That didn't help. I hadn't been here in so long that it was hard for me to remember. I knew that whatever that glint was, however, it wasn't a particular part of Besaid. It had come there just recently, if not that night.

Squaring my shoulders, I marched over to where the glint was coming from and prepared to tell off whoever it was. I couldn't, though, not when I peered down at what was before me. It was Yuna and Tidus, entangled in one another's arms so fiercely that I felt a pang of something too familiar, something too out of place for such a happy occasion. Gathering my wits about me, I staggered back, clutching at my chest, trying to alleviate the pain that stopped me from breathing.

I was lucky that they didn't see me. I didn't want to have to explain myself and I didn't want to know whatever it was they'd think up on the spot to tell me. I just couldn't hear it, not then or tomorrow or ever. I didn't want to know!

I found myself roaming around the bonfire, the lingering warmth wrapping itself around my legs, my arms. It touched my face, cupped my chin gently but it wasn't enough to elicit any sort of reaction. I just let it happen. I wasn't in the mood to fight it, to fight anyone for that matter. I just wanted to go home now and try sorting out what had happened. I wished to stare into the dazzling fires again, just to see a glimmer of their hypnotizing flames.

I suppose that's what I wanted. I wanted to forget all over again. I didn't want to remember. I didn't have to be forced to remember what I'd just seen. I didn't want any of it to stay stuck in my head. I didn't want that! But I'd seen it and nothing I did could make reality any less real, make the pain any less piercing. I could only hope to make myself that subtler. I didn't want to be seen in this light. I didn't want pity anymore. I hadn't earned it.

_But why? What does it hurt so much now, thinking of them…? Why can't I just be happy for them and be a normal person? Why doesn't life make sense anymore! When did it stop making sense all of a sudden…?_

I wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin to stare off into the infinite flames of mortality. Wounded and ashamed, I sat there, sulking in my pain. That was what I wanted to do. If I analyzed it enough, maybe somewhere in the vastness of my wanting it would make sense to me. Maybe something would come of it—something logical, I hoped. Try as I might, however, I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Why should their closeness affect me so? It was their wedding, for crying out loud! What did I expect—for them to grow old and never have a passionate moment between them? That just being naïve, even for me. I knew what love was, knew what it entailed. And yet…I couldn't quite conquer the feeling that boiled in the pits of my stomach. I couldn't name it, couldn't give it a proper description. It was there and had appeared when I saw Yuna and Tidus tightly wrapped in one another's love. That's all I knew but it still wasn't enough. It wasn't enough!

Nothing ever happened the way I wanted it to happen. The sky would always be heavy on my shoulders. my friends would always come first. Cid would always be awkward around me. It would always be hot in Bikanel. Gippal would always be Gippal and I would always be Rikku. Some things were just unavoidable. Some ties in life weren't meant to be broken, some lines not meant to be crossed. It was how life was meant to go on. That's how we kept ourselves in check, by realizing the inevitability of things and learning to adapt to that. There was nothing else. Only change and acceptance. Otherwise, it meant death, or a very short-lived life.

So why would I expect life to be any different than that? Why would I expect the world to stop spinning and make sense just because I asked it to? It wasn't like the world took orders from me, but it sure would have been nice. I could have stopped inevitability. I could have stopped my heart from breaking.

_But why is it breaking all over again…? What is it this time?_

"Hey, it's Cid's girl," I heard from over my shoulder. I turned and wasn't surprised to see Gippal. Of course, I wasn't what one might consider 'happy' to see him, either. He must have noticed the latter; he was at my side in an instance. "Hey, there, Rikku. Did you say all of your goodbyes?" he asked glancing at me warily.

I didn't say anything to him at all. I just sat there, staring off into the flames, a flame that seemed to mimic itself inside of me. It was a flame that only I could see. I felt it burning through my skin, felt the hotness rush through my veins. My lungs filled with the desire, the passionate fury. I wanted to lash out and be irrational—I didn't want the world to punish me anymore. I wanted nothing to make sense and revel in that feeling while I forced my anger out on him. That was what I wanted. I wanted him to feel pain, too.

But that wasn't fair of me. Gippal had done nothing wrong. He'd only ever been my friend and I'd been mean to him, for reasons unknown. Today wouldn't be the same. He hadn't done this to me. I did it to myself, whatever "it" was, of course.

"Take me home, Gippal," I murmured lowly.

"Rikku—"

"Take me home."

Gippal didn't argue anymore. He scooped me up into his arms, kissed my forehead and began to walk towards one of the transports. I rested in his arms quietly, knowing all too well the feel of his one good eye trailing my face. I wasn't ready to talk and I guess he figured that much, since he didn't press me. I was too absorbed in my own thoughts, trying—and failing so miserably—to sort them out and define them.

When he put me down and paid the man, I stared at his tensed back and worried. I had done this time him, hadn't I? I made him worry again. That was my fault, too. I felt another pang of guilt well up inside of my stomach, mixing well with the strange sensation I had gotten from before. They seemed perfect together—self-loathing for what I'd done to him and something else I couldn't quite decipher—all tied inside of me.

Gippal walked past the man and nodded to him, to something he said. I stared at him for a long moment, my brow creased in concentration. I wanted to say something to Gippal. It wasn't right for him to suffer on my behalf. He was my friend—not my emotional slave. He didn't deserve this and I had to tell him that, so he wouldn't suffer any more than he already had for me. But I couldn't make my mouth move. I couldn't coerce my voice to come out of hiding.

So I followed behind him wordlessly, not knowing what else to do.

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Author's Note: A lovely way to end a wedding, don't you think? Never fear—the plot is here! Can anyone think of where this might lead to? I hope so. It's no fun if no one ever tries to guess.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	8. It's Not All Right!

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

I would like to thank all of those who have reviewed for my story thus far. I am grateful to have people reading this. It makes me very happy. ^_^

Chapter 8: The Predetermined Cure/ It's Not All Right

The world never felt so heavy on my shoulders. I'd never seen the world painted in this color, never felt it lash out at me so violently. I wasn't surprised that I'd upset the balance that we had created. I never questioned it anymore. It was right and I was what was wrong. I was the sickness, the infection that spread and swallowed up the world. I was the thing that wanted…

No, it's not your fault, another part of me screamed. It couldn't be my fault. The world could fall to the ground in a writhing heap of flames, so vividly gold, so wonderfully cheerful. That didn't make it my fault. It wasn't me that was to blame. It wasn't me that was wrong—it was the world all along. I was innocent of all crimes that were marring my good name. I was innocent. I had to be. And yet…

I tossed and turned all night. Of course, to "toss and turn," one must actually have slept. One had to have attempted. I did not. I couldn't bear to see it displayed before me again, leaving me trapped in a world that was ugly, a place I could not escape. It was unbearable, feeling such envy, such hatred. I didn't hate my cousin and I didn't hate Tidus. I adored them both but the thing I felt inside was not adoration. It was something awful. It was something…too dreadful to have come from me.

I curled up in a corner, pressed my back to it. My knees crushed to my chest and I couldn't look past what wasn't there. I couldn't see for looking. Not myself. Nothing but the two of them, pressed warmly in one another's eyes. I wanted that? No, that wasn't it at all. I wasn't jealous—I'd never coveted a day in my life!—but this I wanted. I wanted it for myself, what they had. Didn't I? Didn't I want that too? Didn't everyone want that?

"What do I want?" I screamed into a pillow, convulsing with the tears that followed, the tears that tore through my frail body.

As I sat there, staring off into the bleak memory of my previous night, I tried to phase out the world that was happening. I tried to forget the present. I didn't—no, I wasn't ready to face that. I felt like a broken record—a pathetic failure, one who promises everyday to get better, only to fail for lack of effort—I was repeating myself over and over again. Hadn't I just gone through this two weeks before? Hadn't I just felt this gut retching pain? Hadn't it just torn me apart…?

I slumped forward, my face pressed against the cold floor of the room. I couldn't cry anymore. My tears had all dried up. I blamed the heat…and my lack of hydration. If I wasn't careful, it would be the end of me too. And that was only bittersweet. It wasn't like I wanted to die; I was smart enough to know living in pain—feeling anything—was better than being dead and feeling absolutely nothing. At least, if I'm alive, I can strive to make the pain go away. And I wasn't a coward. I faced what hurt the most…to my own expense.

Remember the Thunder Plains?

The tiny room suddenly filled with an unbearable heat. It burned against my skin and I had to move from my place on the floor to run for cover. Lying there would have left a mark, one I'd clearly have to explain later. I wasn't in the mood for people…or maybe that's exactly what I needed. The best solution was indulgence of personal needs and I was in need of persons. I was in dire need of that feeling—being wanted—I desperately wanted that.

I gathered my tiny bits up and trudged over to the bathroom. I showered and changed in the sparkling, steel room, tossing my nightclothes back into my room. They nestled into a neat pile at the end of the bed. My building pile meant laundry was sure to come. It wouldn't be long before I was ambling around in _less_ than what I was already wearing, which was barely more than anything as it was.

"Good morning, Rikku," Cid said from the table, hunkering down over his bowl of something warm and inviting. Rosemary was sitting beside him, smiling up at me, too.

Here goes the happy face.

I smiled at them widely, and strangely, it wasn't forced. It felt natural. My mind hadn't settled into reality just yet. I was glad. I wasn't ready for Cid and Rosemary to see my pretty empire crumble back to the ashes that were left smoldering from the last battle. I barely had a leg to stand on and whatever that feeling was from last night—I still shuddered to think about it—had taken that from me, too. Now I was left, flailing about in the downfall of my once humbled self. I was left without anything.

"Good morning," I said cheerfully, snagging a bowl. I scooped some potatoes into it, the ones that Barkeep had left for us and settled in beside them, my loving 'parents,' as it were. "So, how's everything going?"

"We saw you and Gippal last night," Rosemary said, a hint of a smile playing in her voice. She wasn't angry, just a little surprised. I was, too; she'd been spying on me!

"I was," I said slowly, mulling over the proper terminology. One slip of the tongue and Cid would be all over Gippal like Al Bhed over machina parts—score one! Another clever and witty analogy from yours truly! "He walked—uh, escorted me, remember? Besides, I haven't seen him in nearly two years. It was good to see my best friend."

"Best friend? I didn't know boys and girls could be best friends," she mused aloud, pushing at something that I wish she wouldn't.

I wasn't ready for Cid to give me the 'sex talk' again. It had been awkward and freakishly unnerving the first time around. Second time around was likely to be the same…if not worse. He was awkward enough around me was it were; I could only imagine what he'd concocted in his diabolical mind. I wondered if he would share some of his personal experiences with me this time, like he'd tried to do the last time. Can you imagine that? My god…it was awful.

"It's possible," I said nervously, hoping not to trigger Cid's need to talk. That would be the end of this perfectly stable mood. "I mean, Gippal's been my friend for as long as I can remember. We hung out all the time—since Buddy, Brother and Keyakku always were together. He kept me company and we worked on machina together. That's probably why I'm so into them now, Rosemary."

"He's the reason you're into machina," she echoed, though her voice wasn't nearly as light as mine. Something was off with her and I just couldn't figure out what it was…yet.

"Yeah. Gippal has always been into machina—hence he's the machina man," I laughed. "He's even been known to say that no one can use machina better than us Al Bhed. Honestly, I think he's right. We made them, after all—of course we can work 'em better."

"Well that's true," Cid added from beside Rosemary. "But he's the only one you talk to about machina, isn't he?"

Now I was caught.

"I didn't know that," said Rosemary, touching his forearm lightly. He'd found a fuse and now she would light it until I exploded forth all of my dirty little secrets—as if. "Why didn't you tell me that, Rikku?"

"It wasn't important," I shrugged. "So we talk about machina—that's no big deal. I'm sure it's just much more interesting to us since we've had most of the mundane conversations before. We're just really into machina—that's about it."

Cid grumbled under his breath, but my tactical wording seemed to have worked. He couldn't complain about something that didn't exist. But he didn't stop glancing at me occasionally, his dull eyes lingering before trailing off again. I caught him once or twice, but was nice enough to let him think he'd gone unnoticed. If there was one thing I'd learned about Cid, it was how important his pride was to him. To him, a man without pride and dignity wasn't something worth being called a man. It was simply a being who'd forgotten his purpose in life. That's some deep stuff there for Pops, so I figured he meant ever word of it. So I kept his pride and his dignity in tact as much as I could. I loved Cid, after all. I didn't want to hurt him.

When I finished breakfast, I made up some excuse about missing the gritty sand between my fingers before dashing off into the blistering desert.

I hadn't completely lied. I had missed digging up machina, quiet machina that didn't talk or make me feel so strange. Two weeks with Yuna and her wedding party had really let my work pile up on me and I'd have to work twice as hard now to keep the pain from distracting me. Of course, I wouldn't go hunting ancient-type fiends just to ease the ever growing nagging in the middle of my chest. I wasn't that desperate…yet.

I normally worked hard enough where I didn't get noticed too much. Occasionally, I'd get a pat on the back for being such a good worker, but nothing off the top. I was a good worker and I loved finding machina. Naturally, digging in the sand for them would prove to be the perfect job for me. And it paid well, so I never went hungry—or without my skimpy, desert clothes. However, two weeks without a single dig left my pockets somewhat empty. If I didn't live with Pops on Brother's ship, I'd probably have starved already…and been without a clear pair of frilly, golden undies. I wonder where that would have left me…honestly.

So I had to get back to work. I needed money to front the bill for some of my indiscretions. I was nineteen years old—I had needs. Some of them we aren't aloud to talk about and some of them I won't allow myself to talk about, so you'll just have to settle for whatever your brain is creative enough to structure. Nevertheless, there is no need without cost, no want without price. Likewise, my needs and wants had a pretty little price tag that I was obligated to fulfill if I had any intentions of gratifying myself.

Dezba followed behind me obediently, his bright, cheerful eyes roaming the desert sand for something to gnaw on or chew. He managed to find something, plummeting his head into the soft sand and wheeling back with something clenched between his golden beak. He chirped happily, gratifying himself where I had neglected to do so. He scolded me with a sharp huff and I immediately turned to praise him for his deed.

"That looks like a scarab," I said to him, squinting for a better view. "Yep. Definitely a scarab—nasty little buggers. I hate beetles."

After I finished strapping my digger's kit around my waist, I stretched out widely, shaking the lingering bits of my sleepiness to the wind. After an involuntary yawn passed my lips and my eyes whipped back open, I surveyed the area. it looked foreign to me now, having spent so much time away. It wouldn't take long for my hands and legs to return me to a place in time that I remembered. Soon, this vast desert would become like second nature to me all over again. This desert would once again be my home, my asylum. It would be the closest thing I had to Home.

"Hey, there," someone called from deep within the sand as I walked. Whoever it was waited for me to get closer before springing out from the sand dune. "Hey there, Cid's girl."

"Gippal," I said breathlessly, a bright smile coming to my face. "What are you doing here?"

"Well…I don't feel like going back to Djose just yet," he said nervously. "Besides, I'm here… you're here…"

He trailed off and let me put the pieces together, pieces that he wasn't arrogant enough to say aloud. And with good reason, too! I narrowed my eyes at him, my hands finding their places on either of my hips. I leaned forward and suddenly felt very much like a mother hen.

"Gippal! You're an idiot!" I said, feigning anger, though I'm sure he could see through it quite easily. He smirked at me and I knew my fight was lost. "Eugh…what is it?"

"I was thinking, since you've already taken two weeks off and I'm here, I figure we should do something fun," he suggested lightly, though I saw the mischievous glint dancing in his one good eye. It made me cringe involuntarily. "Aw, c'mon, Rikku! It's a good idea and you know it. Besides, how can you deny me?"

"Very easily," I said wryly, pushing past him. I jumped into the sand dune he'd just sprung from and continued where he'd left off, Dezba grazing for something edible. "Just forget it. I'm not going anywhere with you, machina man. I've got too much work to do here and if I leave again, Cid will kill me."

"You make it sound like I care," he said.

His body was suddenly very close to mine. He turned me around so that I was facing him, now sandwiched between his rock-hard body and the impenetrable wall of sand behind me. Gippal smiled at my discomfort, daring to press closer to me and I allowed him.

Gippal wasn't the type to take no for an answer. And he was right. How could I deny him?

"OH! Fine," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. I quickly stuck my tongue out at him, which he countered with one of his dazzling 'look at me, look at me' smiles. "Jeez, machina man, you're hopeless."

"I wonder what that makes you," he said thoughtfully, flashing me another of his smiles. I practically melted.

"So, where are you dragging me to?" I grumbled, arms crossed over my chest, my foot pressed to the ground defiantly.

"Aw, aren't you adorable," he said smugly, his face close to mine. I could taste his breath, the cool, minty feel and just like that, he tore through my defenses.

"Gippal!" I hissed, reluctantly pulling away from him, eliciting a pout on both our ends. "Get serious for five minutes, jeez. Where are we going, _machina man_?"

"You could make this a bit easier," he said, his jaw clenched now. He was mimicking my former action—his arms crossed across his chest, which was poked out in an annoying sort of display of macho dominance. I scoffed. "I can't be serious if you won't. My name's Gippal, isn't that right, Rikku?"

"Whatever."

Gippal smiled, his arms falling to his sides. I watched him, hoping he didn't notice just how curious my eyes were, or how fiercely they were roaming his body. He stretched suddenly, his muscles pressing dangerously against the thinness of his armor, showing just the tiniest bit of…

"Gippal!" I growled again, punching him lightly in the chest.

"What? You were the one looking," he said laughing, catching my other fist as I tried to hit him again. His sudden interference set my balance off and I tumbled—right into his arms—where I stayed, my back to his chest somehow, staring up at him. He smiled down at me with that award-winning grin of his. "Don't be upset with me, ok? Besides, you looked so intent. I wanted to see just how closely you were paying attention, Rikku."

"You've still successfully managed to avoid all of my questions," I said huffily. He smiled at me again, setting me on my feet.

"I guess you're right," he said, still thoughtful. He put his finger to his chin and whirled around away from me, his back to me now. Gippal shrugged, dropping his arms at his sides. "I guess you just have to come with me, huh? We both know your curiosity is what drives you."

"Ugh! Fine," I sighed, defeated.

Sometimes, I wish he didn't know me so well. Other times…I was glad.

-----------------------------------------------------

Gippal had dragged me to Luca with him, Dezba following behind me happily. It had been a while since we'd come to the city of sunshine and I didn't blame him. I'd missed it, too. But I wasn't brave enough or strong enough to venture here on my own, given my last run in with bad luck and horrible hallucinations. To be completely honest, I was scared that I'd have another touch of delusional misbehavior and have to be shuffled onto the nearest airship. Oh, I could imagine how livid Pops and Rosemary would be with me for going without "supervision." I gagged at the thought of it.

Walking with Gippal and Dezba on either side of me wasn't as bad as it could have been, however. I actually enjoyed myself. I think Gippal is more of a sight-seer than I am, since he made a point to stop and show me every interesting—and some not-so-interesting—details about Luca. I enjoyed it all the same, especially since he let me cling to his arm and lean closer to him when I didn't hear exactly what he'd said, or pretended that I hadn't. he didn't seem to mind, so why should I? As far as I could tell, it was a win-win situation, wasn't it? He got to enjoy the company of a beautiful girl and I got to feel his strong muscle clench underneath my soft skin. That's fair I think.

As we moved through the busy streets of Luca, I made sure to keep a firm grip on Gippal's arm. I hated being separated in such a large place. Dezba was only a footstep behind me, leaving only enough room between us so that I could take a step without him stepping on the back of my heel. He was a considerate companion, I thought. However, even this amount of closeness wasn't enough. Someone—rude as anyone could imagine—ran past Gippal and I, or rather, ran through us. My hold on Gippal was snapped like a twig and I was thrust backward into the crowd, losing my footing and missing Dezba completely. Of course, before I could scream about being trampled to death and complaining about how awful a way to die, Gippal wrapped his strong arms around my waist and pulled me tightly to his chest. We were so close that I could hear his heart beating.

"Gippal," I mumbled into his rising chest, my fingertips strumming against the tense muscles beneath them. I peered up into his piercing gaze and blushed, burying my face back into his chest again.

"Something wrong, Cid's girl?" he asked teasingly. I only shook my head against him. "Uhm, all right? So, are you hungry?" I nodded. "Good. I'll, uh, carry you there. Don't want you getting lost in this crowd, Princess."

Gippal wrapped his strong arms around my legs, hooking themselves behind my knees. He pulled me up against his chest and some part of my mind told my arms to cling to his neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. He took a step forward—a sure, unfaltering step—and we began moving. I clung to him tighter, whimpering as my legs brushed past people whose faces I couldn't see. But I was safe here in his arms; nothing would hurt me. Gippal would carry me to safety and I would be all right in his arms. Dezba followed behind him. Should I fall, I knew my trusted companion would come to my side. he would rescue me if Gippal failed…

"Rikku, are you cold?" Gippal breathed down my neck, goose bumps rising where his voice had been. I peered up at him and smiled nervously. "You're shivering. You know, if you wore more than just a pair of shorts and a bikini top, then maybe you'd be all right."

"I'm not cold," I murmured, burrowing deeper into his warmth. It was intoxicating. "It's just that…there are so many people here. I'm worried that maybe you'll drop me and I'll…get lost…"

"I'm not going to drop you," he reassured, tightening his hold on me. Likewise, I tightened my grip around his neck, trying to absorb all of his manly warmth for myself. "You're my precious cargo, Rikku. There's no way I'm gonna drop you on the streets of Luca. That would be against my code of honor, ya know."

"Code of honor," I scoffed, trying to downplay his serious tone. He beamed down at me, obviously in on my scheme. I straightened in his arms and fixed him with a stern but teasing grin. I tilted my head to the side and looked him over for a lengthy moment. "I didn't know a lady's man like you had a code, let alone any honor."

"That's just rude, Cid's girl," he said, pretending to be hurt. He jostled me around in his arms and elicited a delighted squeal from me. I kicked my legs about wildly, lucky to be in the only part of Luca that was massively overcrowded by people. I've got a kick like a chocobo! "You know, if you keep being mean to me like this, I just might take you home. Without lunch."

"Gippal!" I hissed, grabbing the sleeves of his shirt. "That's not something to joke about!" I said into his smiling face. He leaned closer to me, our noses touching. I pulled away sharply and almost fell from his arms. Luckily for me, he had quicker reflexes than I did a tendency for being clumsy. He had dropped me and caught me all in the same breath. "Gippal!" I cried again, my head now thumping painfully against my chest. Terrible fear of falling and all that.

"What?" he laughed, barely able to contain himself. "You make the cutest faces when you're in danger. Not that you were actually in danger, you know. You're always good for a laugh."

"That she is."

Gippal turned around with me still in his arms, only to have Paine's steely cold gaze paralyze us in place. Her arms crossed over her chest in that Signature "how amusing" tone that her voice might have had, if she needed to voice what her eyes were already saying. Which she didn't; she was that good. Beside her was a rather amused Baralai, whose bright eyes couldn't have hidden his bubbly amusement no more than the sun could hide the beauty of Spira. His smile grew wider when he saw the predicament that Gippal and I were in—come on, can you imagine how helpless I must have been, strapped in Gippal's arms?! I inwardly cursed myself for being so afraid of tight spaces. I'd have to camp out somewhere to get rid of that phobia, too.

"Oh, hey Doctor P," Gippal said nervously, lowering me to my feet. I shuffled a few paces away from him, leaning against Dezba as if I'd been there the whole time. My façade was easy to see through, even I'll admit that much. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Right? "Fancy meeting you here… And Baralai, too, huh? Well, that's nice…"

"Doctor P is in the house!" I chirped in, waving at her nervously as I forced the biggest smile I could muster onto my face. She quirked her brow at me. "So, uh, what's up?"

"Well, we were just looking around Luca," Baralai said simply. He flashed Gippal a smile and continued. "It seems that Luca is the capital of young love, after all."

"Young love?" I spluttered indignantly. I stamped my foot against the ground, body rigid from the accusation. "Gippal and I are _not_ lovers!"

"Aw, come on, Rikku," he said beside me smoothly as he wrapped his arm around my waist. Our finger interlaced with a speed my eyes couldn't follow and soon, I was pressed helplessly against his body, staring into that one good, beautiful eye of his. "Don't you think it's time we told someone? A love like ours shouldn't be a secret," he teased lightly.

"Gippal…" I said, lowering my gaze from his, though my hand was still clasped gently in his. I didn't have it in me to joke about this, not anymore. But why?

"Enough of the charades," Paine finally said, her eyes lingering on my face, according to the tingling, prickling sensation that my cheeks and shoulders were experiencing. Gippal released me at a reluctant speed, his arms dropping at his sides. I pulled away quickly and rushed back to Dezba a little too desperately. But I didn't care. "So, who's up for some lunch?"

-----------------------------------------------------

Inside of the tiny little café, the four of us plus Dezba found a cozy little corner into which we immediately crammed ourselves. In the tangle of arms, legs and indignant complains, we eventually found our stride and we settled into one another's company quite easily. It was secondary nature to some of us and it helped that it was comfortable. It was a cozy, friendly, nice sorta thing, I suppose, being surrounded by your friends. Most people would have died to be in such a familiar position—being with one's friends. It was nice and I guess that I couldn't have imagined being happier—except that I wasn't. If anything, I couldn't stop fidgeting against Gippal, who'd corned me in the inside seat, while he lounged in the aisle leisurely. It was hard to imagine that there was someone else in the world who was more of a pain than he was.

After we ordered our meal—a very light ensemble of salad, tea and cappuccino—we indulged one another in conversation. Of course, my mind was in some place entirely on the other side of the world. I didn't know what it was that made me so jumpy, but I guessed it had something to do with the relatively close proximity of Gippal's body to mine. It was an awkward, familiar closeness, a closeness we'd shared a long time ago before time ever made sense. It was slower back then, less complicated. Looking at him now, looking at the patterns time had etched into him, I wondered where I'd been through all of those years. I wondered where the time had gone. I wondered when we had stopped being us…and became other people entirely.

Gippal of the Machine Faction. That was who he was now. He wasn't my Gippal anymore, wasn't just my best friend. The entire world knew who he was now. But they didn't know him the way that I knew him. They didn't know anything aside from the playboy grin and gentleman's façade. They knew Gippal of the Machine Faction—they didn't know Gippal, my Al Bhed Prince. I guess those two weren't so very different after all, especially since they were both cradled in my arms now. The two of them—Al Bhed Prince and Leader of the Machine Faction—they weren't so different in the same investigating light. They were both men of a similar code. The only remarkable difference was the scale. In one world, I was the only thing he could see; in the other world. I was the only thing he couldn't see. Of course, I couldn't tear the lines apart from them. I didn't know which was which anymore.

"Rikku?"

"Huh?" I said distractedly, snapping my head up from the edge of the table, to which had slipped without my noticing it. "What?"

"Are you feelin' all right?" Gippal asked from beside me. I cringed away from the melody of his voice.

"I'm fine…just hungry," I grumbled, staring at my hands, cradled in my lap. If I looked up, my façade—the only one that hadn't been found out…yet—would surely break apart. "I haven't eaten all day, that's all. I'm a little disoriented. Some people don't understand that the rest of us are indeed human! Hunger ranks pretty high on that list of human needs, machina man," I hissed through gritted teeth. He only laughed.

"Rikku, I think we should go to the restroom before the food gets here," Paine suggested, already to her feet without waiting for my response. I guess I didn't get a choice here.

I followed behind Paine, after Gippal got out of the way and Dezba had calmed his ruffled feathers. He was likely the only other person to sense my inner turmoil, though, even I didn't know its source. It had just appeared at the mentioning of something more than friendly. I blamed Gippal. I heaved a great sigh and sulked behind Paine's crisp walk. Someone had their life together, it seemed. Inside the bathroom, I found Paine waiting for me, leaning against the wall across from the door. Caught in her line of sight, I realized I was fighting without any weapons at all. Facing off against Paine's quick-wit wasn't my smartest idea. She could smell the lie before I even had a chance to say it. How was I going to get through this?

"So, you and Gippal are an item," she said. It wasn't a question.

"We're nothing like that!" I said. "There's nothing going on between us. We're just friends, for crying out loud!" And there goes my cool façade.

"But you want more than to just be his best friend. You want more than friendship." That wasn't a question either. I glanced away from her. "You're a coward. Bottled up feelings will only ever be that. Telling him will change everything," she said to me.

"That's what I don't want," I said. "I'm happy being his friend. I'm happy just being near him. Isn't that good enough for everyone else? What's all this fuss about confessing myself to him? Love and emotions only ever get in the way," I said feebly.

"And yet, that's almost exactly what you're doing," she said. Paine sighed, her voice strained with emotion and thought. She peeled herself from the wall and stepped closer to me, her footsteps echoing her uncertainty, a melody similar to the one my whole body made when I moved. "Don't get too close that you can't see yourself anymore. Don't let your feelings outweigh your judgment. Being his friend is fine, but your wanting heart won't stop at that. Don't go too far that you can't salvage what you hold dearest to you"

"Paine," I groaned, shaking my head slightly. "You're not making any—"

She pressed her finger against my lips and silenced me. She pulled me into a tight hug, something very unlike the Paine I thought I knew.

"Don't let yourself become the problem, Rikku," she whispered into my ear.

Paine pulled away from me and left me in that bathroom to mull over my thoughts. Had she just said what I thought she had? Could I really become a problem to Gippal? If this feeling was just one-sided, then wasn't that completely possible? Was that what she meant? Knowing Paine, it was. She was looking out for me, for my feelings. She didn't want me to get hurt. Would I get hurt? Could Gippal really hurt me?

-----------------------------------------------------

Gippal and I left the café relatively quickly. Paine and Baralai made mention to needing to dash. Apparently, they were catching a hovercraft that was taking them somewhere. I didn't ask where because I didn't want to know. Or it might have had something to do with my wandering mind, who could only issue simple commands, like "Yes," and "No." Very pathetic, I know, but my mind was using most of its brainpower to figure out the message behind Paine's cryptic warning.

_Don't become the problem._

Could I even begin to understand what she was talking about? I didn't know and I didn't have the necessary mental capacities to figure out an answer relative enough. I was too far gone into my own thoughts and I think everyone had guessed as much. At least, Gippal had, if his waving hand in front of my face was an indication. I blanched slightly, backing away from the offending appendage and glared at him playfully before swatting him away. He smiled at me like he always did, arrogant and charming.

"So, where do you wanna go, Cid's girl?" he asked, looping his arm around my neck, tugging gently, playfully.

I pretended to be mad, squirming out of his possessive grip around my neck, pouting my lower lip to emphasize I meant business. Of course, it was all smoke and mirrors when he charged at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around wildly in the middle of the street. I screamed in glee, laughing with full abandon. I was enjoying my time with him. What was so wrong with that?

"Put me down, machina man!" I squealed delightedly, playfully hitting his strong shoulders with my hands. "Put me down!"

"Aw, come on, Cid's girl," he cooed, lowering me so that our noses were nearly touching. "Tell me. Is that what you really want?"

when I didn't answer immediately—and I blame the coeurl that was holding my tongue at that moment—he slowly lowered me back to the ground, my feet planted firmly. Regardless, I swayed, my hands pressed against his chest to maintain my balance. I didn't notice until I felt his hands on my shoulders, squeezing me reassuringly. Hesitantly, I glanced up at him and suddenly, I forgot how to breathe. He was looking at me with that charismatic smile of his. It was real—one that only I had ever seen. He wasn't trying to woo me or get me to admire him. He was genuinely smiling for me. Without a second thought, I reached up and stroked his face gently, my fingertips trailing his jaw line. I was only made aware of my actions when I felt a low rumbling beneath my other hand, which was still planted firmly on his chest. Pulling away entirely, I blushed at my audacity.

"Uh, sorry there, Gippal," I mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with him.

After a while, he said, "Stay here." though I know he was talking to me, he was staring off somewhere else. I snapped my hands in front of his face until he caught them, smiling down at me playfully.

"What for?" I asked suspiciously.

"There's an ice cream shop around here, somewhere," he said, clasping both of my hands in his. He smiled again, pushing me backwards until my bottom collided with a wooden bench. "Just stay here and wait for me? I promise I'll be right back."

"Gippal," I called after him as he moved away. He turned on his heel, peering at me strangely.

"What?"

"I want strawberry," I mumbled softly. He nodded and took off, disappearing into the sea of people.

Thirty or so minutes must have passed. I had been counting how long it took for my legs to get numb from lack of circulation. I growled under my breath, impatient for his return. I tapped my feet until the prickling sensation drove my crazy. Leaping from my seat, I jumped up and down until the strange feeling of my blood remembering how to flow dissipated. Growling again, I marched off in the direction I'd seen Gippal move off into, angry that he kept me waiting so long for some damn ice cream.

_It's probably not even the good stuff,_ I fumed, maneuvering through people silently. _It's probably that light stuff. I hate imitation ice cream. What's the point? It's not even creamy! Ice cream is supposed to have some sort of standards somewhere, right…_

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost walked past Gippal. His spiky hair will give him away anywhere. That and his stupid armor. I mean, seriously, who wears that kinda junk? When I reached my hand for the door, prepared to go in there and give him and piece of my mind, I hesitated. I hadn't noticed it before, but he was in deep conversation with someone. A woman, not that it struck me as odd. He was always talking to women. Hello—this is Gippal we're talking about, after all. Aside from that, however, I realized that he was eating his ice cream—and it was the good stuff! Clenching my teeth together, I puffed out my chest and prepared to make my move…until she did, at least.

The woman, who had to be Al Bhed with the strange way her mouth was moving and how easily Gippal seemed to have warmed up to her, reached her hand out to the lady behind the counter to accept an ice cream cone. Not only that, but Gippal put down some gil to obviously pay for her cone. The nerve of that guy! He bought this tramp ice cream and left me alone on that godforsaken bench and for what? This hussy? Glaring, I realized that she was eating the cone I asked for—it was strawberry for crying out loud! That idiot!

Then I realized I hadn't been completely truthful with myself. watching the woman toss her head back, laughing loudly at something Gippal said, my stomach turned and twisted painfully. As this pain was unfamiliar to me, I staggered backwards, clutching my offending stomach, my eyes watering for some unbeknownst reason to me. Watching him enjoy the company of that woman was surely not the reason for my sudden displeasure. And yet…

Without looking back, I turned from the ice cream shop, slowly disappearing into the thicket of people, as unimportant to them as I apparently was to Gippal…

----------------------------------------------------

I lay in bed the next afternoon, thinking irrational thoughts, many of them trailing and colliding into one another. They became like one another and I couldn't discern the differences in thought patterns anymore. After a while, I gave up trying to figure out where one thought began and where another one ended. I finally understood what it was like to hunt a single zebra out of a pack of many. It was confusing and unnecessary. Eventually, you just tried to remember the flow of motion and blend into that movement until it finally broke and left you with something tangible. I wanted something to hold onto, something to hold close to my eyes and examine it under a better light. My mind was too foggy.

The desert heat hadn't set it just yet, so I reveling in the cool air of indecision. The day hadn't been made up yet, though much of the time had already passed me by. But the overhead kept out the sunny rays and kept me chained in bed. Sunshine was my motivation; its lacking presence gave me nothing else to do. So I lay there, uncomfortable and sprawled out in various positions, trying to grasp onto something—anything worthwhile—in my head or in my room. Something was better than nothing.

I shifted on the floor again. Last night the bed was so hard that I couldn't sleep. Imagine my surprise when I was suddenly sprawled out on the floor, my thin blanket draped over me lazily as I moped and mulled over my feelings. Rejection was the most prominent. I was even more surprised to find that the floor was softer. It gave me comfort, knowing that my plane of existence stretched on farther than the limitations of my bed. The floor—like my self—was wide and far stretching. It was limitless in its possibilities, something I hoped of myself. I didn't want to be bound to any form, especially one that I could transcend. I didn't want to be stuck in this one plane of existence.

The struggle to fade out reality became more prevalent as the night teetered on. Time mulled on slowly, moving at speeds too slow to measure. The time it would take the measure a speed so slow was likely faster than anything else. I wanted a distraction. I wanted something to keep me from thinking. So I wrapped myself tightly in my otherwise unneeded blanket, so much so that I sometimes found it hard to breathe. But that wasn't quite enough for me to rescue me from myself. I just lay there and took whatever punishment I knew I had to take on just to absolve myself. It was a painful process, but a necessary one all the same.

I doted on last night—after the Gippal thing, which I was refusing to believe happened. I tried to see past what I knew I'd seen. I didn't want to see it anymore. But every so often, Paine echoed loudly in my head, her discerning glare keeping me from breaking down entirely. Had I actually become the problem? Was he just trying to be a good friend and save me from myself? Even if that was the case, had I done something that made him want to be with someone else? I hadn't been whiney, hadn't complained or done anything outlandish…at least, I didn't think I had. Maybe I'd been seeing things differently. But I just couldn't see whatever he was seeing.

"What did I do wrong this time?" I growled into the emptiness.

I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Perhaps, there was nothing there at all. Gippal wasn't the most logical of people in the world. On the other hand, he never did anything unless he had a good reason for doing so. He wasn't crude, wasn't evil. He wasn't simple-minded either. So yeah, I was drawing up a blank here. I didn't know what happened between point A and point B. maybe nothing had happened between those two points; maybe there was a third point, one that was undetectable—untraceable, maybe? I didn't know and I wasn't inclined to go snooping around into my memory banks for faulty behavior.

But here I was, snooping for anything that seemed out of place. Again, I found nothing. All of actions were kosher—they weren't anything abnormal. He was just plain, ol' regular ol' Gippal as far as I could tell. He was right as rain to me. I couldn't see anything wrong maybe because I wasn't looking hard enough. Some part of me didn't believe there was anything wrong. That same part of me still maintained that there had never been anything wrong in the first place. But still, _something_ had to be off, right? I mean, at what point does the date get so bad that you have leave her at the dock to find her way back home? At what point does that level of failure not become obvious?

But of course, I knew the answer to that, too. Paine had been right—she had tried to warn me. She told me not to get too close. She said, "Don't get too close that you can't see yourself anymore." And here I was, looking into a mirror for myself, searching the depths for anything that remotely resembled the me I was accustomed to. But she wasn't there anymore; she was gone, the same as everything else. Dragged down into the depths, the Rikku I had the image of was gone. I was all that was left…or maybe, I was all there ever was to begin with. The girl without an image of herself trapped in the world of mirrors.

I wasn't an idiot; I knew the look in his eyes. He was genuinely enjoying himself with the slim blonde. He was laughing and joking with her, casually indulging her with questions of his own as he answered the ones she asked of him. Gippal always knew how to have a good time. He was a people person—the socialite of the group. Talking to him was never a hard thing. So it wasn't much of a stretch to understand why she seemed so comfortable talking to her…or why he was so at ease talking to her, either. He was having a good time. But why did that make me feel so bad? Why did it pain me so much to see him enjoying himself with her?

"He was having fun with her…instead of me."

I buried my face into the suffocating blanket. Reality was a daunting thing after all. I didn't want to revel in that; it was just a fact, one none of us was strong enough to escape. That was the foundation of life. Reality sucked and there was nothing any of us could do about it. The only option we had was to drown out the sound in one another. That was the real reason we came to depend on others, the same reason we fell in love and made friends and associated with each other. We wanted to forget the reality of things. We wanted to forget how heavily it pressured us. We wanted to forget.

Last night had traveled beyond the realm of insanity. It ricocheted somewhere close, but the momentum was too much for me to measure. It simply moved in and out of time and I was left to follow behind it hopelessly, trying to steal a glimmer of such passion. It was like the wedding all over again, the same gut retching throb tearing its way through my chest like a hot blade stuck through my ribcage. It was crippling, having to watch the rerun once more. In the same instance that I saw Gippal and his new lady friend, I saw Yuna and Tidus sneaking off from the wedding. I guess that's why I watched the machina man and the blue-eyed girl. I wanted to know what it would feel like again, and so I watched them for a long while.

Yuna and Tidus were hopelessly in love and it was wonderful. They wrapped their arms tightly around one another, moaning lowly into open-mouthed kisses, hands trailing from head to toe. I knew the ferocity of their movements. I'd experienced it once before, the dire urge, the impending doom should the need not be fulfilled. It was an overwhelming, pleasure-hungry beast. It had to be satiated in order for life to continue spinning properly. This was the need they were trying to fulfill—the desire to consummate, to become one in each other's arms. That was the beast's name, the trigger to soothing its hunger. That was the climax they worked for together, the climax that could smolder their burning flames and give ease to their pounding hearts and cores.

Shame washing over me, I turned from their love, staring down at the cold sand nestled between my bare toes. I'd opted for a more natural feel, wanting to forget the roughness of artificial reality, even for a moment. Then I realized there wasn't any sand between my bare feet. There was only cobblestone. There was only the hard, biting sensation of being returned to this plane of limited existence. This was the world I hoped to escape and he was the one who brought me here—the one I'd hoped to escape this world with. He caused this rippling sensation in the base of my chest, the hot-cold burning in my stomach. This storm was the direct result of his interference.

Gippal was the culprit.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

"Rise and shine there sleepy head."

"Go away, Gippal," I croaked. I hate his damn timing…

"How long are you going to keep this up, huh? Cid says you didn't come down for dinner last night and you haven't been down for breakfast either," Gippal said from his side of my locked door, sounding like he actually cared. The nerve of that guy. "Come on, Rikku. Lunch is here and I know you've got to be starving. So come on out and let's talk this over like adults, shall we?"

"I said go away!" I said again, this time more fiercely. I even flung my pillow at the door, which settled with a dull _thud_ against the floor. Another sound, similar to that one, echoed on the other side of the door, on his side of the door. "What part of go away don't you get?"

"I'm not moving," he said defiantly. He leaned his back against the door. "At least, not until you come out here. I'm gonna sit here until you decide to come outside, or tell me what's gotten your frilly panties all in a bunch."

He waited, but I made no comment.

"This is only further proving my theory, you know," he said, the thud of his head against my door low and hollow—like his big, empty skull!—before he sighed. "I'm worried about you, Rikku. This isn't like you—being all down and in a huff over something rational. Of course, I'm only assuming it's rational—I don't really know what's bugging you."

"You are," I said dryly.

"I meant yesterday," he said lightly.

"That was you, too," I said, answering slowly, hesitantly.

"…Oh. Well, that explains a lot. Of course, it would have been much easier for both of us if you had said that before I got comfy here," he said, trying to down play the hurt. It didn't work. I could hear it, clear as bells.

I pulled myself up from the bed and walked over to the door. He hadn't moved yet; he probably thought I wouldn't care anymore either way, whether he stayed or not, I mean. He might have been right—if I was cold and heartless, which I was not. I cared about Gippal, stupid, insensitive Gippal. Underneath it all, he was still my best friend, my Gippal. Someone had to look out for his reckless impulsions.

"Gippal," I sighed, opening the door. He fell into the room, his shoulders pressed against the front of my feet, his head squeezed between my ankles. Luckily for me, I was wearing shorts.

"Hello there, sunshine."

-----------------------------------------------------

The little diner he took me to couldn't have been more than a shabby hole in the wall. For all I knew, it could have been one of the most expensive places in Spira. My eyes wouldn't read over the words, however, wouldn't take in the distinct characteristics that made this place any different from the other places lining the streets of Luca. Of course it was Luca—he simply loved Luca.

He'd dragged me the whole way—from my bedroom to the road, down the road to the damn hovercraft and from the hovercraft to here. My arm, still clenched between his strong hands, was sore from being held for so long. Of course, I paid this minute pain little to no attention and focused all of my efforts on glaring at the back of his big stupid head. I hated him so much right now! I mean, doesn't he know how take a hint?

"So, what's wrong with you?" he asked quickly, slinging me into the seat across from him.

"Can I get you two something?" the eager waitress asked, her notepad and pen in hand. Gippal shook his head and I just sat there, unmoved by her enthusiasm. "Well, all right," she said sadly, stowing her pen and pad into her pockets. "Lemme know if y'all need anything."

"Will do," I said dryly.

We sat there for a long moment, our eyes connected for that infinite amount of time unmeasured. His one good eye bore into the inner regions of my mind, begging for something with which to answer his questions. He was questing, adventuring through the uncharted territories of my mind, prancing upon antsy nerve ever so unwittingly. While he continued to stare at me thoughtfully, I simply stared back at him, my eyes blank and uncompelled.

"Rikku," he said calmly, taking my hands into his. I quickly pulled them back, however, and wrapped them around my body. I didn't want him to touch me…not after last night. "That's what I'm talking about. You don't want me around you, don't want me touching you. Hell, I'm even beginning to get the vague impression that you don't want me talkin' to ya, either."

"You're a genius," I hissed sarcastically.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he snapped, slamming his hand down hard on the table. I whipped my head around and glared at him, though it was short lived.

"Oh my _god_, Gippal!" I laughed, now holding onto my sides to keep from falling over. It was my turn to slap my hand against the table, though my sounds were more joyful and infectious than his. Soon, he was laughing with me. "Look at your face! You look like you just crapped your pants or something!"

"What's wrong with my face?" he asked, feigning hurt. "I thought it looked pretty spot on…?"

"You're hilarious, machina man," I said, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.

"You're insane," he said, staring at me with that one incredulous eye. "I don't understand how anyone—women especially—go from being angry to happy just like that." He snapped his fingers. "Insane creatures, you women are."

"Like men are any better," I grumbled. "How do you go from hanging out with me to slobbering all over another girl just like that?" I asked, snapping my fingers, too.

"…Oh," he said, immediately dejected. He knew what I was talking about at least and had easily owned up to it. So much for being like all men…

"I waited for you," I said, my voice charged with a new emotion. Was that…? No, couldn't be. I shook my head and regained my composure. "I waited there for you, like you asked me. I did that because you promised to come back. You said you'd be right back…but you were busy with someone else…"

"Rikku, it wasn't like that," he said, bashfully shaking his head. We both knew he was caught. But he was making an effort, at least. "Well…I was in the wrong. I should have come back for you. I don't have anything else to say…except, well...you know..."

"What?" I asked, my jaw slack with shock. Was he about to say what I think he was about to say?

"I…I'm sorry, Rikku," he stammered, refusing to look at me.

"I don't think I heard you right, machina man," I said nervously. Gippal didn't say sorry. It was common law to us Al Bhed. He was like Cid—who also never apologized. People generally understood he was _apologetic_ but no one ever heard those words pass through his lips in the same breath. It was the same for Cid. "What'd you say?"

"I'm not saying it again," he teased playfully. "If you didn't hear it, then too bad. You'll have to wait another millennia before any man of my bloodline says something similar. So don't get your hopes up—though I would suggest holding your breath."

"Gippal!" I called back, swatting at him from across the table, laughter in my voice. I shook my head after a while and smiled to myself. "We are crazy, I guess. But then again, dealing with idiots like you all gives us reason to be."

"Oh sure," he teased back, "blame us. We're completely innocent—bystanders, if you will—and we immediately become the source of all your problems? I don't wanna hear that! Women are and forever will be insane. Just admit it."

"Whatever, Gippal," I sighed, leaning back against the thickly cushioned seat. I smiled across the table at him, his one good eye twinkling despite himself.

"By the way, I have something for you," he said, getting to his feet. He fished around his pockets, his one good eye squeezed together with thoughtfulness. After a moment, he yanked his hand free from the depths of his pockets and held out something for me.

"A sphere?" I asked, delicately wrapping my fingertips around the warm surface of the glowing orb. I twisted it around in my fingers, peering at the luminescent light that trickled down my face in warm beams. "What's on it?"

"Watch it," he said, shrugging.

And I did just that.

As the sphere glowed into light, my eyes became glued to the spherical surface, moving with the images that faded in and out of view. Eventually, they came to settle on one particular image, one that remained completely shrouded in darkness, though it never lost its prominence as the sphere continued its show. I watched in stunned silence as the light fluttered in, chirping lightly as the sound become louder. Rushing air seemed to whiz past my ears, my hair dancing on my shoulders from an invisible force. I sat in my seat, completely stunned by the smooth, metallic curves and juts that this sphere was presenting me with. In all of its magnanimous glory was the equivalent of an Al Bhed gift from heaven. There, staring in Gippal's sphere, was a machina-based airship, suspended above the ground—as if should be—with all the grace of a dancer. It was gorgeous, gleaming brightly in the outside, home to a world whose people had no respect—no true understanding of its glory, save us Al Bhed, of course. Gippal always did say that no one could use a machina better than an Al Bhed. Maybe he was right after all.

"Gippal…it's beautiful," I breathed, my fingertips trembling. I peered up at him from the sphere reluctantly, my eyes not ready to drop their gaze. I didn't blame that tug of pain in my chest. That was the most glorious sight I had ever seen—and it was probably true for most of the Al Bhed in Spira. "I've never seen anything like it before. We've searched much of the desert and we've never come across anything as complex as this baby. Where the heck did you find it? I'm dying to know! And where did you find this sphere?" I demanded.

"On the ship, of course," he said lightly, casually as if we were talking about some randomly wonderful shoopuff show. Had he lost what little bit of a dysfunctional brain he had left? "We were digging in the back of Djose one day. One of my workers lost something and with the rain, we thought maybe it got embedded. However, what we find wasn't what we were expecting. Of course, I don't think we ever found what we were looking for anyway—"

"Who cares about that?" I cried, clinging to the beautiful sphere desperately. "What did you _find_, Gippal?"

"What you see on that sphere is a basic understanding of what we have found. We have to assume that it's been buried for a while, which might explain the drastic decomposition of the parts. Not only that, but much of the interior needs to be gutted and many of the parts need replacing. We dug it up from the gritty sand over there—no doubt, it'll have corroded most of the ship. I'm not worried about the labor. It was bound to happen, whether it was buried for a year or a thousand."

"So what did you show this to me for?" I asked, suddenly bewildered. "You seem to have everything all figured out…" I trailed off, glancing at him.

"You're the smartest Al Bhed I know when it comes to machina. Your hands are like magic to them. So I was wondering…can you fix her up?" Gippal said with a smug grin. He obviously knew the answer, but wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

I smiled at him and nodded enthusiastically. I was actually at a loss for words. Staring down at the image of what could be, my heart fluttered up into my throat and kept me from saying anything valid. Eventually, my brain started working again and so did my mouth. For the most part anyway.

"Of course. It's a machina, machina man. All we needs is a little shakey-shakey and it's going to be just fine. Though…" I said skeptically, staring down at the sphere. I mentally calibrated the age of the parts. I measured the rust accumulation, along with some other factors and came to a number that seemed on par. "It's kinda old—I mean, two, three hundred years old, Gippal. Some of the parts will need replacing with very specific parts—none of them easy to come by."

"But you can fix it?" he asked slowly, his piercing gaze boring into my hollow chest. I shuddered.

"Well, duh," I said, cupping the glowing sphere to my chest preciously. "Just leave it to Rikku! I can definitely get the job done. But it'll take some time, Gippal, especially since I haven't seen what you dug up. Even with a rush job, I can't guarantee anything within the next three or four months. Maybe, if I'm really lucky and every bit of this thing isn't completely rusted over and by whatever divinity, what parts we do need to replace are in stock and work properly—then just maybe I can promise eight months. But that's a _really_ big maybe, Gippal."

"Well aren't you glad this isn't a rush job," he said, a hint of playfulness in his husky voice. He grinned at me, his bright eye dancing under the dim light of the comfortable diner. I didn't like that tint.

"What d'ya mean? Don't you wanna fly this thing ASAP?" I asked, quirking my brow at him. I knew Gippal. He was up to something—or had some ulterior motive. I just didn't know which one I should have been more afraid of.

"I do. But there are some other things that I wanted to get accomplished before I get her into the air. See, this is something important. It's more than just a really lucky break for us. It's more than just some project as the indirect result of good excavating. It's a goal of mine. So I don't need time. I need quality…which is why I'm gonna ask Cid if I can…borrow your talents for—oh, let's say—eighteen months?"

"Eighteen months?!" I cried, nearly dropping the sphere in my shock. "Have you lost what little bit of brains you had _left_? Cid will _murderlize_ you!"

"You're saying you don't wanna come spend all that time with your hands on one of the most prominent pieces of our history?" Gippal asked. He leaned back, cradling his head on the palms of his hands. "I'm sure Cid will understand. Besides, it's not like your work won't get done. Cid keeps hiring all these eager Al Bhed kids. Most of them are only tryna make a quick piece of gil, but some of them are actually interested. He'll be so smothered in all that love that he won't have time to worry about where you've run off to exactly."

"You're forgetting Rosemary," I reminded him quickly.

"Ah. She's a bit quicker than your old man. She's quick on her feet, too. I'll give her that," he said thoughtfully. He was quiet for a moment, the tension building inside of me like water pressure without any sort of release. When his face twisted into that well-known smile of his, however, I found my release. "Hm. I've got it. You told her how addicted we are to machina, right? Why not just tell her the truth. Besides, with the history part of it, no matter what she says, Cid will let you come. He's more interested in you learning your history than he's against you and I spending so much time together."

Gippal had a point. No matter how against me "dating" anyone or anything—especially Gippal of the Machine Faction—Cid was, he'd always wanted to nourish me with history. He wanted me to know where our people came from so that I could lead us into a brighter future and all that. Hopefully, Rosemary would agree with him. I hated going against her or making her worry. She was a good mother-figure; she didn't deserve that from me, a good daughter-figure—hopefully.

"You know…I think you've got something there," I said finally, peering up into Gippal's expectant eyes. He'd drawn the same conclusion that I had, but had done so much quicker than I had. On the other hand, I had a conscious and he didn't. "This'll work."

And just like that, I won my independence from Cid.

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Author's Note: Yay! Happy chapter! I know a lot of people were wondering, "Where's Gippal?" So, here he is! In all of his masculine, Al Bhed glory. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	9. The Mysterious Machina Man

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

**Author's Note: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

To those who reviewed for me, I am most appreciative. For those who have put this story on their list thingie, thank you for the support.

Chapter 9: Djose Temple or The Mysterious Machina Man

I didn't say anything to him the whole ride there. And it was a long ride, but my eyes stayed glued to anything other than his smug face. I couldn't stand the way his eyes were dancing at my obvious discomfort. Right then I knew that he'd struck up a deal with Cid, I just didn't know his motive. With Gippal, there was always motive. Still, I couldn't deny how happy I was to be able to go to Djose. It wasn't that I didn't like Bikanel or anything, but digging got kinda boring after a while.

Dezba squawked loudly in my ear, his golden feathers ruffled. Turning in my chair, I gave him a simpering look, taking his face between my hands. Pressing my forehead against his, I tried my best to calm him. He didn't like flying very much; hovercrafts were no different. Even now, as he sat in a very containable crate behind Gippal's hovering contraption, he didn't like the strange sensation. Being a flightless bird, I couldn't blame him.

"Relax, Dezba," I cooed, stroking his beak lovingly. "We're almost there. Trust me, Gippal wouldn't do anything to hurt you. He likes you!"

I felt Gippal's eyes on me and I turned to peer at him over my shoulder. Sticking my tongue out playfully, I winked at him. He merely shook his head and returned to piloting his hovercraft. Feeling Dezba relax in my hands, I turned back to my faithful avian companion and smiled brightly. Kissing his forehead, I settled myself beside Gippal, not as surly as I had been before. His silent glare had been testament to what I said; Gippal liked Dezba, if only because he belonged to me. I don't know why, but knowing that made my insides warm with fuzzy delight. Smiling inwardly to myself, I doted on the softer, if imaginary side of Gippal, enough so that he quirked a brow at me.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing at all," I lied shamelessly. He narrowed his eyes at me briefly before turning back to the steering wheel, which he had so easily abandoned for the second time today to stare me. Crossing my arms over my chest, I pouted. "Hey, Gippal?"

"What is it?"

"You never actually told me the specifics of my staying here, you know," I said slowly, peering at him to gauge his reaction. "I mean, I know I'm supposed to help you get the pieces together and all that, but like I said before, I haven't actually seen whatever it is that you dug up. Give me a rundown, huh?"

"I could do that," he said, pressing his knee against the steering wheel so that he could use both of his hands. "All right. Like I already told you, most of the inside is rusted over and needs to be gutted. Though, the interior is the least of our concerns. If anything, it'll be the last thing we do, since we kinda have a budget on this thing, ya know. So I can't just buy all sorts of things just because I feel like it for the inside and completely skimp on the outside. As for the outside, both of the rear guiding wings are busted open, the engine is destroyed and from what I can tell, it has an old energy core…you remember those things right?" he asked, peering up at me. "Well, anyway…"

I didn't hear much else of what Gippal was saying. I was too distracted with the deliberation notions of his mouth and the soft, minty air that filled my lungs. It was deliciously Gippal, masculine and fresh. Lingering in that divine moment, I suddenly had a glimpse of his appeal. He was gorgeous, in a rugged, bad boy kinda way. His muscles were tightly coiled, golden rocks attached to his equally golden frame. He was charismatic and knew his way around a machina. I could see the appeal; it was probably the reason I was forgetting how to breathe.

The broad shouldered man was the epitome of masculine beauty. He was rugged and handsome and firm and smooth. He was clean but wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty or take his shirt off. He knew how to talk, knew how to dress when the occasion called for it. He was every bit the proper bad boy that I wanted.

_What the heck am I talking about?_ Shaking my head, I recounted my last several thoughts, mentally slapping myself for ogling my new employer. Employer-employee 101—don't have sexual fantasies about your boss! It's unbecoming, not lady like and will likely leave you without a job in the near future. Not to mention, it was _Gippal_ of all people that I was thinking about. _Eugh_!

"Enjoying the view then, Cid's girl?"

I snapped my attention back to Gippal's smug face and realized that I'd been staring. Lowering my gaze from his smirking lips, I glowered at my own distractibility, giving myself a mental pounding. The man who I'd been ogling, however, wasn't so keen to drop the subject. I could have sworn he purposely flexed just to know if I was still looking at him. I mean, even if I was—and I most certainly was not!—then I'd have the decency enough to not get caught again! What kinda girl does he take me for?

"What was the last part you heard, kiddo?" Gippal asked softly, his gaze softening as he stared at me. When I pouted and refused to answer, his smug grin returned and I knew better. That was never a good sign. "Don't you worry about it, kiddo. When we land, I promise I'll let you stare at me all day long if you wanna."

"OUI ETEUD!" I screamed, punching him in the arm as hard as I could manage. It must have been hard enough. The hovercraft shook uneasily, Dezba screeching nervously in the background. With one final warning to Gippal via a glare, I turned to my avian companion, wrapping my arms around his neck and cooing softly. "Energy cores."

"What?"

"You were saying something about it having an older model of an energy core. If that's the case, you'll be hard pressed to find one…I don't know too many people who have any handy. Not only that, but they're hard to find, since they're usually still intact with whatever they were originally built for, you know. Of course, there are some guys in Bikanel who have been working their butts of to emulate the older models and pieces," I said, peering up at the sky thoughtfully.

"See? I knew I hired the right girl," said Gippal, smiling at me genuinely. When it came to machina, I was at the top of everyone's list. It was my playground, after all; always had been. I was just happy that he still remembered as much.

"You're still avoiding my question, you know. What does it look like, machina man?" I demanded as the temple came into sight.

"Well…let's see," he said, the hovercraft landing several feet in front of the temple. "It's…it's in serious need of some work. Doesn't that paint a clear enough picture for you?"

Before I could get another word in edgewise, several people flocked out of the temple, rushing towards the man standing beside me. Taking several steps to the right, Dezba and I avoided being tossed into the jumbling heap of legs and arms that was slowly building up on the ground. At the bottom was Gippal, where he probably would remain until some order was reined in over his rather enthusiastic subordinates. Peering up, I saw a man standing away from the squirming mess of bodies, a smug smile on his pretty face. He was Al Bhed, just like the rest of us, and was one of the more attractive. He gave me a curt smile before moving towards the mess on the ground.

"That's quite enough, ladies," he said, tugging several men from the pile. "Let our fearless leader breathe. I'm sure he's losing consciousness with all of you on top of him like that. Get up, otherwise, he'll be our fearless but dead leader."

For the most part, his words were ineffective on the throng that was probably stealing away Gippal's youthfulness. Knowing that I'd regret it later, I marched over to the group of young workers and, in my best Cid impression that I could muster, screamed, "SUJA ED!"

The several men that were squirming atop Gippal quickly rushed to the feet, hiding behind the other man bashfully. Sighing, I held my arm out for Gippal. Pulling him up, I couldn't help but laugh when he grumbling, dusting himself off. I caught several things that he said, none of them sounding too good for the idiots that clobbered him to the ground. Following behind him, I gave them all a wide smile, Dezba on my heels.

"Are they always that happy to have you come back?" I asked curiously as he opened the temple doors.

"More or less," he replied sourly, rubbing his shoulder irritably. I laughed. When he rounded on me, I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep from insulting him further. It was pointless; he was trying to be mad again and made such a silly face. "What the hell is so funny?" he demanded, though he was smiling now.

"Your face!" I squealed, falling over and holding my sides. Even Dezba was chirping happily, bouncing jovially at the man's antics. "Holy crap, Gippal! You're hilarious!"

"This must be the woman you were telling us about, Gippal," said a deep baritone. When I peered up at Gippal, he was staring down at me, his arms crossed, another man at his side. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Turrang."

"Uh, pleasure to meet you," I said, straightening to take his hand. "My name is Rikku—"

"Yes, I know who you are. I'm his second-in-command. I try to keep things in place when he's away on…business," said Turrang, smiling at me pleasantly. "He told me that he was going to fetch a world-class engineer for our machina problem. I should have known that he'd get you. You are the best, after all."

"Aw, shucks," I said, blushing from the steep comment. "So, where is this mysterious machina? I've been dying to get my hands into it…"

"Calm down, Rikku. Don't want you having to change your panties—OW!"

I growled at Gippal, smoothing my knuckles as I stalked away from him, following behind a laughing Turrang. We walked outside and then around the temple. Off in the distance there was a clearing, where several men were standing around a large, sheet-covered heap. Anticipation mounting as we neared, I couldn't help the sudden burst of energy that exploded inside me, urging me to rush forward and make friends with the heap of metal and parts. And rush forward I did, bounding closer to what I knew would be the most beautiful heap I'd ever seen in my life. Tearing the sheet away, I was at a loss for words. Though it was left in nothing but ruins, the possibilities of what I could do to the dilapidated ship were numerous enough to have my head reeling. Mouth watering, I reached a hesitant hand out and stroked the nearest piece of the ship I could, electricity sparking at the magnanimous touch.

"Oh, Gippal…it's beautiful," I murmured softly, my hands furled under my chin. Rushing around the perimeter of the ship, which was just a tab smaller than the _Celsius_, I began measuring and taking note of what would likely need replacing and those parts we wouldn't compromise with. Budget be damned! "That's definitely gonna need to be replaced," I said to no one in particular, though I knew both Dezba and Gippal heard me. "Oh, that's nasty… Yuck! … That's gonna take a week to replace! … Uh, hm. … Oh that's not bad. … Yikes!"

I continued on with my silent ranting for several moments, Dezba behind me every step of the way as the others watched my frantic pacing with mild amusement. There was nothing more exciting to watch than me analyzing a piece of machina, apparently. Even Cid had been caught on several occasions watching me work. When I finished my once-over, I returned to where Gippal and Turrang were standing, each of them smiling down at me lazily.

"So. What's the verdict?" Gippal asked softly, that strange twinkle in his eyes again. Stupid twinkle.

"It's gonna take a lotta work, machina man," I said, putting my hands on my hips, peering over my shoulder at the aging ship. "But…" Turning back to him I smiled. "It can be done."

I was surrounded in joyous clamors of "All right!" "Yeah!" "Yippee!" and even one or two "Hoorah!" With a smile, I shook my head, placating the men I was now bound to work with. It would be fun if nothing else.

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The next week passed by rather smoothly. Although the ship was mostly in tact, we had to take it all apart. Understanding the interior workings of a ship wasn't complicated, but meticulous. It was all connected and separate at the same time. In any rebuilding or restoration project, there has to be some demolition and deconstruction, if only to figure out what can stay, what needs to be repaired and what needs to be replaced entirely. Luckily for me, Gippal had both the resources and manpower for the way I liked working. Where it would have taken three or four years on my own or even in Bikanel, it would probably take little more than a year in Djose, just like Gippal said.

After the ship had been taken apart and the separate pieces put into piles, I went about taking inventory. If I was going to rebuild the ship, then I needed to know what I was working with. What Gippal didn't have immediately handy, he sent several of his runners to get. When I asked him where he was sending them, he only told me that I didn't wanna know. That probably meant something along the lines of, "It's very illegal and the Al Bhed Princess shouldn't be privy to such information." I only huffed, stomped my foot and punched him in the arm before continuing where I left off. After his runners came back bearing gifts a-plenty, I crossed off what he had, leaving us with what we didn't have.

Unfortunately for both Gippal and I, with no other available resources, we were left to go to a very shady machina parts dealer. Gippal didn't like him and I thought he was practically sleazy. Of course, Gippal and I had very separate reasons for disliking the guy. While I wasn't entirely sure why Gippal didn't like the man, I never went to his place by myself anymore after he tried to "put the moves on me." I socked him twice and threatened to use my Thief Dressphere on him if he didn't stop. He's _way_ too old for me! Dirty old man… Though he was pervy and somewhat uncouth, he knew his machina almost as well as I did. Even Cid had to admire the man's ability to materialize parts. He was the second-best machina parts dealer in all of Spira, where Cid was obviously the first.

That morning, as I was mulling over the week's schedule, I received a comsphere from Yohn, the machina parts dealer. As always, he made me skin crawl. Sure he was attractive—if you're into older guys—but that didn't mean _**I**_ thought he was attractive. Heck, I probably wouldn't know what attractive was if it walked into my room and made itself cozy on my bed! Yohn told me that my parts had come in—most of them anyway. The ones that weren't there I'd obviously have to bum off of Cid; he was the only other person with the resources I needed. Sighing in defeat, I quickly showered and got dressed. Just as I was tying up my boot, reverting back to my old habit of dressing in my Thief's outfit, there was a knock on my door. Peering up at the door in frustration, I stomped over and tore it open, expecting to bite into whoever it was that had dared to interrupt me. I was a busy woman, after all, and I had a schedule to stick to!

"Gippal," I squeaked, my eyes wide with shock. I suspect anyone would be shocked if there was a half-dressed, very dripping man standing in their doorway, too. Taking a step back, I couldn't help the slight gasp that left my mouth as a tiny droplet slid from his broad shoulders, disappearing behind the loosed rim of his pants. "Wh-what are you doing here?" I managed—somehow.

"I came to see you," he said, rather smugly I might add. The nerve of this guy! "You're gonna see Yohn today, aren't you?"

"So what?" I retorted hotly, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm a big girl now, machina man. I can take care of myself by myself."

Immediately, the playfully smug grin that adorned his handsome features vanished, leaving a very mature looking man beneath all of the glamour. For some reason, at that very moment, my lungs decided it was a good idea to just freakin quit. Lucky me. Staggering slightly as his body came into contact with mine so abruptly, I made no protest when his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closely against him, the front of my shirt damn from his wetness. I grabbed onto his arms to steady my shaking legs, me knees thrashing against one another loudly. Breath hitched and caught in my throat, I couldn't have prepared myself for what happened next.

It was only the sudden soft, wet warmness that alerted me to Gippal's gentle closeness. Cheeks hot from the experience, I sighed happily as I peered up at Gippal, whose one good eye was closed as he pressed his lips against my forehead. I tightened my grip on him, willing our bodies to meld into a singular oneness. He must have shared the notion; he pulled me hard against every contour and ridge of his firm body. Without my consent, my lips parted, a hushed moan escaping, brushing softly against his ears.

"Be…be careful, Rikku."

I stood motionless, watching as he stared down at me, reveling in how precious he made my name sound as the words drifted down into reality from his perfect mouth. Angels couldn't have made me feel as adored as he did, staring at me as though I wasn't real. The soft tinge to his cheeks, the subtle breathlessness—it was all so much to take in at once. Shifting from one foot to the other, I pretended to have heard what he said, nodding shakily, my hands dangling at my side uselessly. I wish I could have held onto the moment a little longer before he decided to end it the way he did. Doting on this, I nearly missed as he turned, leaving me, quite suddenly, alone and left to stare at his retreating back, still rooted to the spot in awe.

_Did he just call me 'Rikku?'_

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My meeting with Yohn was fairly productive. Of course, when you're dizzied up with thoughts of a certain Leader of the Machine Faction, things seem a lot easier than they really are. I made out like a rat, as the saying goes, with a bag full of goodies to bring home to my eagerly awaiting children. The walk back to Djose was slow—and I was grateful. I needed to sort my thoughts out and the best place for that was obviously on the back of my avian companion. It was just as well; Dezba was simply happy to be out and about again. Though he enjoyed the attention from my eager children, he enjoyed his Rikku time more. I had to admit that I missed him, too.

As we continued walking, me riding on his very comfortable back, my mind slowly made its way back to Gippal. His smugness and generally arrogant attitude tended to clash with my good-natured humor and honesty. And yet…we were the perfect two-man team. I sighed in frustration, Dezba chirping to gain my attention.

"Oh, it's nothing, Dezba," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Well, kinda… I mean, it's—that darn machina man! He's driving me crazy!"

Dezba chirped loudly, almost as if he was agreeing with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making it slightly awkward for us to move forward, but I guess by now, he was used to me doing odd things whilst in the middle of walking. He cooed softly, nuzzling me the best he could in our position.

"He even called me Rikku… Gippal never calls me by my name. To him…I've only ever been Cid's girl," I sighed, burying my face in his soft feathers.

"Talking to a chocobo probably isn't the safest sign of your sanity."

Peering up, I saw Turrang, smiling at me from atop a rock. Waving at him, I smiled.

"Hey there! What are you doing so far away from home?"

"Our fearless leader sent me out here to make sure you made it home safely. The road to Djose tends to be sprinkled with the occasional bandit. He was…worried about you," Turrang said softly, jumping down from his rock to walk beside Dezba, who chirped happily at seeing the man.

"I think he missed you," I said, leaning forward to stroke the side of his face.

"Well, he should know that I missed him, too. Having Dezba around is quite an enjoyable experience. I can see why you keep him," the man said, ruffling Dezba's chest feathers playfully. His deep voice rumbled in my stomach, like the gentle reverberations of a far away earthquake. It was soothing. "Did you travel well?"

"It's different from moving around in the desert," I said thoughtfully. "Of course, having a road to walk on is always a plus. Still…"

"Do you miss Bikanel already?" he asked sadly.

"No. It will always be my home, but I have to learn how to depend on myself and stand on my own two feet," I said, smiling down at him. "If I ever wanna be taken seriously, I have to learn to think for myself and take care of myself. Otherwise, I'll always have to depend on others to support me."

"For someone so young, you are very wise."

"Hey! I'm not that young!" I cried.

"Of course you're not, Cid's girl. You're old enough to be a royal pain in the ass, so you couldn't possibly be _that_ young."

Both Turrang and I glanced up the road to stare at Gippal, the sun gleaming behind him dimly as it sunk behind the horizon. His arms crossed over his chest, he looked as he always did—the fearless of the Machine Faction. As we neared him, I distinctly remember seeing a brief pang of irritation etched into his face before it just disappeared. Dismounting, with the help of Turrang, I handed my bag to Gippal with a playful smile.

"You owe me, machina man," I said huffily.

"Not after this, I don't," he ground out, taking the bag from me, turning on his heel and walking back towards the temple.

I glanced at Turrang, who merely shrugged and followed behind his leader. Sighing in defeat, I trudged behind them, Dezba walking at my side silently. Following behind Gippal, who not too kindly kicked the front doors open, I peeked into the temple, amazed at what I found. Inside the temple, the only word that could possibly describe what was going on would be "chaos." My eager little children were running around like chocobos with their tail feathers on fire. Sighing again, I slapped my hand to my forehead, trying to calm my elevating irritability level.

There was Cid, ordering people around like he owned the place. My poor children, I thought, were left to suffer with my old man. I actually felt bad for them. He was screaming orders in Al Bhed to my poor kids and they scampered about trying desperately to appease the man. I glowered at the back of his head. Sure, Cid wasn't the type of person to drop names around to get his way, but he had an especially sore spot when it came to Gippal. This was his way of showing him who was _really_ in charge when it came right down to it.

"Vydran…" I growled through clenched teeth.

My old man turned to peer at me over his shoulder, smiling nervously. Facing me completely, he took several hesitant steps towards me, his hands fiddling about in front of him in the same twitch of nervousness. It wasn't like I was gonna bite his head off or anything.

"Uh, hey there, Rikku," Cid said, smiling at me.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded at once.

"Well, Gippal told me y'all were looking for some parts. I thought I might be able ta help ya out," my old man said, motioning to Gippal, who stood rigidly behind me. Heck, I'd be just as surly if his old man had come in and started ordering my men around, too.

"Then why are you bossin' his boys around?"

"Eh…see, the thing is…"

I slapped my hand against my forehead as Cid stuttered about, trying to think of a reason. Sighing internally, I snagged my old my by the arm and dragged him up to my room. Gippal seemed relieved to have some modicum of order restored and I couldn't blame him.

"All right, Pops, spit it out," I said, once he made himself comfortable on my bed. When he stared up at me innocently, I growled. "Don't tell me you're here to just ask me about parts. That's what you have a comsphere for!"

Cid sobered up some, a thoughtful twinkle coming to his eyes. What the heck is with these twinkling Al Bhed men all of a sudden…?

"Rose and I…well, we're just wonderin' how you're doin' out here," he said, bracing his chin on the back of his hand. "We're just worried about you, that's all, kiddo."

"Vydran," I said, sinking down to rest my head on his knees. He patted my head softly, smiling down at me. "It's new and it'll take some getting used to. It's not Home…but he isn't a stranger, at least. So I think it's all right, Pops. I think I'm ok here…"

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Cid said it would take at least two months for him to dig up the parts. It was rumored that he had a large storage unit for older modeled parts. Of course, no one had ever seen this supposed storehouse, though none of us had mouth enough to question him. Even as his daughter I wasn't gonna question him. If Cid said he had a large storage unit for machina, then darn it, he did. With that part of business underway, Gippal, Turrang and I began looking for the new interior and gutting the old. Every day, people were throwing away old furniture. With Gippal's heavy-duty hovercraft and carriage, we took what we needed and didn't waste a single piece of gil. Budget be damned!

Upon returning home to Djose, the three of us assigned duties and began tearing away cushion and cloth to make the interior homier, once it was re-assembled, that is. We tore apart couches, chairs, tables and other bits of furniture, melding the broken pieces into other bits of furniture. I assured myself that there was a method to Gippal's madness on some plane of existence, if not ours. Surely he knew what he was doing, right? The process was long, hard and strenuous, but the finished project was reward enough for all our well-spent time. Staring down at the would-be interior, I couldn't help but smile.

"Wow. I guess Gippal knew what he was going after all," I said, nudging Turrang in the side playfully. He peered down at me and smiled before each of us turned a mutinous smile towards our 'fearless leader.' He only _harrumphed_ and stalked away. "He's funny."

"That he is. Brilliant, too, you know; he's a genius wherever chaos may be," Turrang said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not too shabby yourself, Rikku."

"Gee, thanks," I said, bumping my shoulder against his arm, smiling at the man. "I've been meaning to ask…how long have you known Gippal?"

Turrang looked thoughtful for a moment and I could almost see the inner workings of his mind, trying to calculate the amount of time spent with the man I had come to know as my best friend. His mouth twisted for a moment before a light flickered to life in his eyes.

"Three years," Turrang said.

"Wow. Hey, does that make you old like him?" I said before I even realized it. Blushing softly, I averted my gaze from him. "Eh…sorry about that."

"No worries. Gippal told me that you're too innocent and curious for your own good," he said, laughing loudly. "I'm only two years older than Gippal. Even so, he's always been more self-assured than me. So I followed him and called him 'fearless leader.' That was what he was to me. A lot of others seem to think of him in the same light."

"You're probably right. Gippal has always been a good leader. He's always protected the people he cares about…"

"Even if she's too thickheaded to realize it…"

I peered up to see Gippal staring at me. He motioned for me to follow and I did so, silently. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to follow him, to be near him.

Gippal led me outside, towards the back of the temple where he originally found his ship. He kept walking for a while, until we came to a clearing. When he stopped, I bumped into him, falling flat on my rear. Naturally, I wailed, rubbing my abused backside and staring at his back with a pout. When he turned and kneeled beside me, it's a more than fair enough assumption to say that I was a little taken aback.

"G-Gippal—"

"I should have told you," he said, wiping his thumb against my cheek softly.

"Told me what?" I said, trying to lighten the mood and failing miserably. It was hard to laugh when he was so close to me, touching my face the way he was. "Gippal?"

He suddenly pulled me to my feet, his arms wrapping themselves around my body. I shuddered at the sudden feel of cloth against my mostly bare skin. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his breath tickling the bare flesh there. I pressed my cheek against his chest, breathing deep the masculine scent that could only be described as Gippal—the perfect mixture of man and machine. My hands, at first dangling helplessly at my sides, were now trying to sink into his body, to make us closer than we were. For the briefest moments, I wondered why and how he could make me feel so out of place and together at the same time…

A warm feeling of belonging bubbled to life inside my chest and I pressed myself firmly against the man whose arms were wrapped so tightly around me. Swirling around us and bursting to life, a swarm of pyreflies made themselves known against the dark canvas of the night sky. Staring up at the sky with Gippal, I felt as though I was the only person in his whole world. Standing there against him, I felt like I was home.

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Author's Note:

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.

Translations

Oui eteud — You idiot

Suja ed — Move it


	10. Niche

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

Author's Note**: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

In ecology, a **niche** is a term describing the position or function of an organism in a community of other organisms.

**Niche** can also refer to a place or position suitable/appropriate for a person or thing.

Chapter 10: Niche 

The next morning, I was up and about before the sun. Like I said, Cid believed in getting things done early. That way, when you wanted to go do something, everything you needed to do was already done. Simple, huh? I've always worked under this mantra, so it's simple for me. Waking up early, while sometimes a pain, does become necessary when you're working in the scorching desert heat. Heat stroke and dehydration are our biggest fears. Delighting in getting to work early, I rushed into the shower and changed in the bathroom across from my bedroom. Jumping down the hallway with the biggest smile and semi-damp hair, I rushed downstairs to be greeted by…no one.

"What the heck is this?" I said to myself, growling into the empty temple. "Where is everyone?!"

"You'll have to forgive them, Rikku," someone said. Turning, I saw Turrang with a half-eaten bagel in hand. He offered me one but I declined. "We're men, Rikku. Sure, we love our machina, but we don't have a firm hand to keep us in line, in case you hadn't noticed. Gippal is a fierce leader and an even harder worker, but we lack etiquette. We don't wake up early in the morning."

"Well that's pathetic! If you get everything done in the morning, then you have more time to party, or whatever it is that you men do out here in Djose," I grumbled. Sighing, I relented. "Well, let's just work until they wake up. I figure, if we start waking them up early now, soon they'll be used to it."

"You're probably right," he said, finishing his bagel.

Turrang and I began working on the interior. We already stripped the insides a few days ago and with what we retrieved the day before, refurbishing would be easy. Gippal gave me a list of the things he wanted. Though we had finished most of the work yesterday, we still needed to build furniture, room fixtures and even bathroom. I cringed at the thought of indoor plumbing. There were _way_ too many pipes and screws for me to handle. Turrang told me it would be a piece of cake, once most of the crew was awake. Just as he was explaining to me some of the basics, two or three men came down, grumbling incoherently before disappearing into the kitchen area.

"I think we woke them up," Turrang said politely.

"Serves them right. Lazy monkeys!" I cried in that direction. Turning back to what he was explaining to me, I tilted my head to the side. "Turrang, I think you have that in the wrong place. Look," I said, pointing to the diagram he'd drawn and the actuality of the parts. Moving my finger from one side of his drawing to the other, I said, "That should be over there. If we put the steering wheel and everything there, he'll be blindsided from the right."

"I never said machina was my strong suit," he said, laughing softly. "You're pretty good at this, though. You and Gippal have a real knack for machina, huh?"

"He and I have been around machina our whole lives. Naturally, we learned a few things here and there," I said happily. "Of course, he won't ever admit it, but I'm way better at the ins and outs of it. Sure, he knows his way around a tool shed, but he's much better at putting them to good use than I am. I just find 'em, strip 'em and rebuild 'em."

"I don't think he'd denied that," Turrang said, stowing his diagram back in his pocket. "That was the basis of the Machine Faction, after all. Now that we work with Nooj and Baralai, things a little easier, but sometimes we're shorthanded."

"That's probably why Gippal asked me to come down here," I said, lifting a metal sheet over my head. Pressing it against another sheet of metal, I began melding the two pieces together.

"If we were short-manned, why wouldn't he have brought more than just you from the desert? Cid would have been more than happy to give Gippal some help," Turrang said, holding a light over me so that I wouldn't accidentally torch something. "Gippal knew we had enough men for this job. He went to the desert to get you specifically."

I peered up at the Al Bhed beside me and was awfully tempted to ask him more about his revelation. Before I could, however, a small throng of the crew marched in, each needing to know what to do in order to help. Turrang and I made quick work of the crowd, doling out jobs in clusters, dispersing the small crowd before two minutes had passed. Left alone with him again, we watched as the crew began heaving heavy sheets of metal and wires from outside, piling them in a corner.

"Pa lynavim fedr dryd!" I said. "Be careful with that!"

Digging my fingers into my scalp, I watched as several of them lifted a triple plated steel sheet and carried it to the other side of the temple.

"Kuut, huf suja cusa uv druca fenac du dryd bema," I said. "Good, now move some of those wires to that pile."

I pointed to the area from where they had just moved the metal sheet. Three of the men clustered together and threw themselves into the pile of wires. After grabbing a good amount of the wire, they marched over towards the corner where the wing rudders were. Catching movement out the corner of my eye, I pointed a hand at a group of men and squealed unhappily.

"Hu, hu, hu. Fa uhmo haat dra knaah fenac ujan drana hayn dra bebac," I wailed. "No, no, no. We only need the green wires over there near the pipes."

I sighed deeply once the few kinks worked themselves out. I was left with a smoothly running courier system. Once everything had been separated, I'd start them on tiny building projects.

"Well, I'll be a fiend in a monkey-suit. Would ya look at that," Gippal said from the top of the stairs.

"A fiend in a monkey suit? That's priceless!" I cried, clutching my sides from laughing so hard.

Gippal smirked and made his way over towards us. Turrang nodded in the direction of his fearless leader, while I merely smiled up at him, wondering how even so early his hair was so spiky. I decided to let that thought go, not really wanting to know what on Spira he put in that spiky mess of blonde hair.

"I have to hand it to you, Cid's girl. You managed to get all of my men up before noon? Now that's what I call a good investment. Amazing," he said. Leaning to the side in his introspective slant, he said aloud to himself, "Not only can she whip a machina into working condition, apparently the same technique works on us Al Bhed. Hn."

"Are we really that different from the machina we love so much?" Turrang asked.

"Eh, I guess you're right."

Not too far from the three of us, there was a younger Al Bhed looking quite lost in the chaos that swirled around him. He looked from his companions to the floor, feeling quite lost. Knowing that feeling, I searched for something—anything really—to help him.

"Rao, suja dryd beba ujan du dra udran lunhan," I said, smiling sympathetically. "Hey, move that pipe over to the other corner."

"Jeez, who died and left you in charge?" Gippal asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, given the way you were sleeping like the undead, I guess that would be you," I quipped as I rounded on him, my hands finding my hips.

For several long moments, Gippal and I engaged in a staring contest, one that I easily would have won, even if Turrang hadn't interrupted. He grabbed the man's arm and whisked him away. Behind his back, I stuck out my tongue and made some funny face. Those around me who saw laughed as they worked, making the tips of Gippal's ears red with embarrassment. Shaking my head, I got back to work, Gippal and Turrang joining me ten minutes later.

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I decided to take my lunch break outside, down the road that lead to Djose from Mushroom Rock Road. Surprisingly, Turrang was a very good chef. He made lunch for everyone within the temple. I teased Gippal about his rather lacking skills and even went as far as to compare the two. Of course, I shouldn't have, seeing as Gippal knows how terrible of a cook I am. Nevertheless, we all got along and laughed about it.

As I sat on the stone fencing, I let my legs dangle over the side, the salty breeze from the sea wrapping itself around me. The breeze danced playfully in my hair before rushing off to find another dance partner. Sighing, I finished my meal and set the plate down beside me. I stared out towards the sea, slightly envious of the freedom the waves seemed to have. I wondered if I could ever exhibit such abandon with my life. I wondered if I'd ever find adventure again.

"This seat taken, Cid's girl?"

"It's your home, not mine," I said. "Sit wherever you wanna sit."

Gippal sat beside me in silence and the two of us watched the ocean in silence. Our time on Bikanel was something similar, the two of us watching the sea, yearning for something so free to be apart of our lives. We had only ever known the cruel sand, the cruel people of Spira who hated our kind. But we learned to forgive them, learned to let go of past differences if nothing else. It was how we were raised. Machina was all that really mattered to kids like us.

"I used to stare at the sea when you were off saving the world," Gippal said suddenly. "The first time, I mean. I wanted to become a Crusader, but I couldn't because I was Al Bhed. I wanted to do something to help, you know. I wanted to be able to protect our families while you were out trying to save the world. I figured, if I could keep Cid safe for you, then maybe…"

"Is that why you joined the Crimson Squad?"

"Yeah. I wanted you to be proud of me if—when you came back," he said.

"You said if."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Gippal admitted softly, his hands tightening their grip on the stone as he recounted his memories. I watched as the emotion on his face became steeper. I suddenly found myself wishing I never asked. "I knew you wanted to save Yuna. She was your family and you value that above everything. I needed to take my mind off of that, so I went out and did something, hoping that I could help you. I wanted to protect you. Sin was a pretty scary thing. It haunted all of Spira, but me most of all. Knowing that you were out there…knowing that at any moment you could have—"

"But I didn't. I promised you that I'd come back," I reminded him softly, smiling up at him as he stared down at me. I poked him in the chest, pretending to be offended. "I made you that promise, even though you weren't here. You were off, too, trying to save the world, weren't you? But I never broke my promise to you. The same with that old machina, Vegnagun. I promised that I'd come back… I mean, who else would keep you honed on your prized machina skills if not me?"

"I'm lost without you, Rikku."

"You called me Rikku," I said, blushing. I hoped he hadn't noticed.

"You've always been Rikku to me. I don't know what I'd do without my Rikku there to guide me," he said, staring off into the sea. "You've always been there to keep me in line, even when no one else was. You punched Brother for me once, too. I'm probably the reason you're so afraid of lightning. He says he was aiming for a fiend but I know better. Sometimes, I think I'm more trouble than I'm worth to you, but you never seem to think that. Even when I tease you and call you names, you're always right there. Even when I show up outta nowhere, you follow me. I don't get you sometimes, kiddo. But…I'm glad you're always with me…I'd be lost otherwise. I couldn't see the world as clearly, I think, if you weren't there standing beside me with that smile of yours to brighten up my grim view of things…"

I suddenly leaned into Gippal, attracted by the warmth he was suddenly emanating. Tightening my arms around his body, I buried my face into his chest. I only tensed momentarily when his hands brushed against my bare back, his face buried in the nook of my neck. I don't know how he managed to do it, but I was soon seated in his lap, my body pressed as closely to him as possible. His soft lips were pressed against my shoulder and I had to fight the urge to shudder at our shameless closeness.

A half hour later, something rumbled in Gippal's chest. I don't know why, but the soft sound and gentle vibrations were comforting. I snuggled deeper into his warmth, my face hot with something other than the heat.

"Rikku," he said, pressing his forehead against mine. I peeked up at him and smiled coyly. "We should…get going."

"Go where?" I squeaked, immediately not liking where he was going with this. I didn't want to move.

"We have to eventually get back to work, you know," he said, smiling at my pout. "Do you want me to carry you?"

"I can walk, you know," I murmured against him, loath for having to remove myself from his warmth. He seemed to hate the thought too; he wouldn't let me go when I went to move. "Gippal?"

"I know you can walk on your own two legs," he said, brushing aside one of my bangs. "But that doesn't make you weak if you decide to ask others to help carry your burden."

Gippal got to his feet and began walking back towards Djose. I sat in stunned silence as his words rang out in my head. What did he mean? I wondered. Unfortunately, I couldn't give it too much thought; he was waiting for me halfway down the road. I had to run to catch up to him.

As we drew closer to the temple, we noticed a small crowd standing outside. Shaking my head, since I already figured it was bad news, I followed behind Gippal. Shortly before we reached them, Turrang made a special appearance, wearing a not-too-happy grimace. In his hand was a smoke core.

"What happened here?" Gippal demanded, examining the core his second-in-command was holding. "What is this?"

"That's the central core," I groaned inwardly. My head falling, I sighed, "Disasterrific…"

"Uh-oh. Rikku's using strange, made up words," Gippal said, turning back to Turrang. "That can't be good."

"Would you mind enlightening us, Rikku?" Turrang asked slowly, peering around Gippal to look at me.

"The central core is like the battery for the whole ship," I explained. "And that's a pretty old model. Replacing it could be almost impossible."

"Hence the disasterrific?" Gippal said.

"Exactly. Trying to repair that thing would take months. The parts are way too small and emulating it is the best change we can hope for. But it wouldn't even be worth making an emulation, since you've have to repair it or replace it every other month." Frowning, I began remembering something Shinra had said a long time ago about pyreflies and machina. "Wait a sec…"

"You've thought of something, then?"

"Maybe. I just need to get a hold of a tiny Al Bhed boy genius."

Gippal shrugged at Turrang as I began walking back into the temple. He followed behind me up the stairs and together we walked into my room. He flopped down on my bed, making him especially comfortable, given that it was neither his room nor his bed. I frowned at him momentarily, before searching for my comsphere. After setting it up, I began scanning for a particularly well-known frequency. I waited until I heard his familiar voice.

"Shinra?"

"Huh? Oh, hello, Rikku," he said, sitting down in front of comsphere. He waved at Gippal and I. "So, did you need something?"

"Actually…I was wondering, how far have you gotten on harnessing the energy in the Farplane for practical uses?"

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I'd been working for twelve days straight in my room. I only ever left to take a shower in the morning and to get something to eat. By now, Turrang decided to have a whole meal made for me so that I wouldn't be grumpy when I forgot to get something to eat. He'd walk past my room, knock on my door and remind me to eat the next part. I was thankful. From time to time, Gippal would go down the hallway whistling, something he was pretty good at, actually. He was my daily entertainment.

The call to Shinra had been helpful. Although the old core was without energy, that didn't mean it needed to be completely replaced. I remembered Shinra having told us about how much energy was in the Farplane once, but we never did anything about it. Yunie thought perhaps if that energy was harvested that all of Spira would be revolutionized. Sometimes, I think she looks at the world through rose-colored shades. While it's not a bad thing to be optimistic, being idealistic is dangerous. Even I know that.

Keeping the comsphere up and running, Shinra managed to walk me through the complicated process of using pyreflies as a source of energy. To be honest I don't think I got it right. It glowed brightly sometimes and even though Shinra says it's all right, this is coming from the boy genius who answers most questions with, "Hey, I'm just a kid." Do you really think I'm gonna listen to everything he says just because it's in his field of expertise? Get real.

The core itself was relatively old. I'd say a good three hundred years old. Caked up sand and mud had preserved it pretty well, but had clogged up most of the parts. The sand eroded some of the casing and those parts needed replacing, along with a few nodes and I added supplementary wiring, just in case. With my tool kit and liters of caffeine, I managed to work out most of the kinks. Having Cid as my father had its perks; he was well versed in old machina. Machina ran in my family, so naturally, we were the pioneers of our kind. After a conversation with him, I knew enough about energy cores to have constructed one from metal scraps and plastic cords, if I wanted to.

A loud chirping snatched my attention from the softly purring heap of metal in my lap. I glanced up and saw Dezba staring out one of the windows. I suddenly felt bad, realizing that neither of us had really left the room in close to a week. Paling with my guilt, I abandoned my side-project and rushed over to his side, wrapping my arms around his neck. As I neared, he clicked his tongue at me disapprovingly and I couldn't blame him. Stroking his tuft of yellow feathers, I gave him an apologetic whimper and headed for the door.

"It's not like you couldn't have gone without me," I said as we walked down the hallway. He nipped at my shoulder playfully, though I understood his meaning. "Owie…that hurt, Dezba! You could have found someone to play outside with you. I know Gippal would have kept an eye on you."

"You seem to be under the impression that I'm fond of your bird," Gippal said from the end of the hallway.

"I know you are," I challenged. "I like him, so you have to like him. Besides," I said, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. "It's not like you'd hurt Dezba. He's a chocobo if nothing else. You like them almost as much as I do."

"She has a point there, Dezba," Gippal said to my chocobo, ruffling his feathers playfully. Turning to me, he said, "I was beginning to worry about you, kiddo. Everyone's missed your sunny little smile. Turrang was even throwing a hissy fit about you."

"Oh, he was not," I teased as we walked down the stairs together, Dezba chirping merrily behind us. "That sounds more like you, machina man."

"I don't throw hissy fits," he confirmed.

"Sure, unless there's a machina and a pair of tools involved and your pride is at stake," I said, trying to be serious. The way he quirked his mouth did me in, however; I couldn't deny how funny he looked.

"I don't even see why you're bringing that up, kiddo," he quipped. "If I'd lost, you'd have been out of steel-plated wrench and the best hammer this side of the Calm Lands," he teased back, the smugness of his grin not lost on me.

"Wait a second. You wagered _my_ tools on that stupid bet you had with Brother?" I demanded immediately.

When he nodded, I chased him around the temple, threatening to clobber him with whatever I had in my hands at the moment. It just so happened that I was in my Thief Garment Grid. His butt was so toast…or would have been, if Turrang had stepped in and stopped us. He peered down at me seriously and I, having been caught in the act, smiled up at him nervously, trying to hide my weapons behind my back.

"Uh, hiya," I said, trying to sound innocent. When he raised a brow at me, I considered my mission failed and did the only thing I could think of. "Gippal started it! That meanie was gonna wager my tools in some _stupid_ bet! So I did what I had to do, Turrang."

"Surprisingly, that sounds like Gippal," he said. Turrang glanced at Gippal, shook his head disapprovingly and sighed. Turning back to me, he said, "By the way, have you made any progress on the core? That's what I was coming to ask you before I found you two running around the temple like idiots."

"Actually, I think I might have gotten it to work. But it's still just a prototype," I said. "If it works, then I'll need to do some more improvements here or there for it to be fully functional, but it's most workable. Why do you ask?"

"Our fearless leader wants to schedule was test run in a few days," Turrang explained. "Of course, a test run is useless if it doesn't even fly properly."

"I'm pretty sure it'll be ready by next week," I said thoughtfully. "But…I'll need someone to take care of Dezba while I'm working. I've been so busy that I've forgotten to get him any fresh air for a whole week."

"Gippal would be more than happy to give your companion fresh air," Turrang supplied, silencing Gippal's protest with a quiet glare. "Is there anything else you'll need?"

"Nope, I'm pretty sure that's it," I said, wandering into the kitchen. I made myself something to eat and was going to walk back out but something made me stop. It had to have been the gentle whispering I heard on the other side of the door. It was Gippal and Turrang.

"…belongs here and you know it. She's been nothing but helpful, Gippal," Turrang was saying.

"I never said she didn't belong here," he explained. "But she's my best friend and I don't want her staying unless it's something she wants to do. I don't want her here just because of all the machina and the tools. If she stays, I want it to be because she likes us."

"Don't you mean 'because she likes me,' Gippal?" There was silence and then, "Look, we all know how you feel. Still, she belongs here with us, even if she's a little slower to realize certain things. Give her time and she'll see all of your efforts, I promise. But don't send her away. Ultimatums never turn out well. Besides, you bluff too well."

I burst into the room at that moment, whistling softly with my plate balanced in one hand, a cup of water in the other. The two men turned and stared at me strangely, a distinct red tinge alit on Gippal's face. He turned away quickly, tugging Dezba along behind him. Turrang merely smiled before following suit, the three of them heading outside.

_What the heck was that about?_ I wondered.

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The next morning, after I finished the energy core, showered and dressed, I went downstairs. It was still rather early, but not as early as I normally woke up. Wiping my eyes, I plopped down the stairs with Dezba following behind me like usual. The soft murmur of voices drifted to my ears. I smiled in spite of myself. I'd gotten everyone—except Gippal of course—into the habit of waking up early. I was rather proud of myself. With this in mind, I assumed it was Turrang giving those who were awake orders, since I'd been up to my butt in technological mayhem. As I reached the last step, I found the source of the chatter. Lo and behold, I find Cid having a conversation with Turrang, a package of some sort on my father's knee.

"Vydran?" I said incredulously. I rushed over and threw myself into him, smiling brightly. "What are you doing here, Pops?"

"I came down here to see how everythin' is workin' out," he replied gruffly. Once I resettled myself on my own two feet, I gave him a quizzical glance. "That, and Rosemary thought it would be a good time for the both of us to come and see you. It's been nearly three months and she decided it had been enough time to come and visit you. Besides, she's never been to Djose before and wanted to see what captivated you so much."

"Well where is she, Pops?" I asked.

"At the moment, she's probably out at one the of the local vendors getting things to feed your 'children' for breakfast. She was never one to deny a man food," Cid said, patting his stomach for emphasis. I had to admit, he had gained several pounds under Rosemary's ministrations, but he'd also become healthy as an ox, poundage or not. "She should be back soon. Oh, I also brought you and Gippal a gift."

"You got all my parts together that quickly, Vydran?" I squeaked happily, the adrenaline flushing through my system like blood.

When he handed me the rather heavy sack, I snatched it from him and jumped out of my skin with excitement. After kissing him on the forehead, I dashed off back to the sleeping quarters, intent on finding Gippal immediately. I found his room at the end of the hallway and burst in, completely forgetting that he was a full-grown man with…urges. Of course, I completely forgot about that when I jumped onto his bed and straddled him. I shook him until he roused, moaning something half-coherently as his one good eye fluttered open.

"Ri-Rikku? What the hell are you doing in here?" he stammered, blushing brightly. I paid this no mind, though, on hindsight, I probably should have.

"Gippal! Cid brought us the parts we needed!" I declared, bouncing for good measure. He groaned and I stopped momentarily, quirking my brow at him. "Aren't you excited?" I asked.

"You…could say that," he admitted begrudgingly. "Though…it might not be for the reason you think…"

At this point, he refused to look at me and it was at that moment that I felt what he was so desperately trying to hide from me. Blush overcoming self-restraint, I blanched slightly. His…thing was situated oh too conveniently for me. I slowly removed myself from Gippal, leaving the bag of parts and exiting his room. I didn't stop until I had returned to the front part of the temple, where Cid and Turrang were still conversing. Dezba chirped enthusiastically as I returned, but I was too hard-pressed to forget a certain something to have noticed. Crumbling at Cid's feet, I stared off at nothingness.

"Is something bothering you, Rikku?" Turrang asked, Cid peering down at me as well.

"Rikku?" Cid asked.

"Boys are icky."

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Author's Note: I rearranged the way I did the translations. Of course, I don't know which is more convenient. How about a vote?

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	11. Test Run I

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note**: **I am **so** sorry guys. I've been a busy bee, though. Work, work, work. But that shouldn't suggest that I forgot you all. So here—my peace offering, in the form of a chapter.

Chapter 11: Test Run I

After Gippal made his way downstairs, he signed some papers, gave some orders, had a friendly conversation with both Cid and Turrang about the arrangement of parts—all while avoiding direct eye contact with me, somehow—he finally stalked out of the temple with Cid on his heels. I let out a collective sigh, noticed immediately.

"Something bothering you, Rikku?" Turrang asked, helping me lug the bag of parts Gippal dropped at my feet.

"No, no…everything's fine," I lied, smiling nervously. We walked silently towards the door, each with a half-full bag of parts tucked under our arms. Well, his was tucked under his arm, mine was being choked to death for my fear of dropping it. What—he's like ten times stronger than me! Cut a girl some slack.

"Then why didn't you speak with Gippal this morning? Or at least berate him for his tardiness as you do every morning he wakes up so late into the day?" he asked pointedly. I avoided his gaze, not sure if I could pull off another straight face and lie at the same time. "While I am aware that you have been holed up in your room for a week, surely you've not lost that desire to be hard with us, have you?"

"Don't say that word…" I muttered under my breath, hugging the half-empty sack of parts to my chest. Dezba followed behind me while chirping, ruffling his feathers every so often. "Stupid boys…"

"Did you say something, Rikku?" Turrang asked, carrying his bag effortlessly. When I refused to say anything else, he narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously, but didn't press the matter anymore. I was glad. There has to be some sort of rule against lying so frequently. And if there's not, there should be. "Cid said another woman accompanied him?"

"Eavesdropping much?" I laughed, nudging against him playfully. He blushed and it spurred me on to laugh even more. "Oh, relax, Turrang. Cid's pretty loud, after all! You would have heard him anyway, I reckon."

"You're staring to sound like your vydran."

Standing in the doorway was Rosemary, clad in layers of cotton padding, her thick skirt stopping short at her knees. She looked very similar to the Rosemary that lived in Luca and the one that came to live with us in Bikanel for a while. The only difference was this one was sporting a rather nifty little gadget around her neck. Upon spotting it, my eyes lit up and I rushed towards her, completely forgetting that I was holding a bag of machina parts.

"Oh my god! Rosemary! Look at that thing around your neck!" I squealed, letting the bag pool at my feet. Dezba soon joined me, Turrang smiling at the woman politely. When he cleared his throat softly, I turned to stare at him. "What?"

"He's waiting for you to introduce us, you goof," Rosemary scolded softly. Turning to him she bowed. "My name's Rosemary. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"My name is Turrang," he replied, also bowing.

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice. Now, Rosemary—where did you get that thing?" I asked curiously, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I faced her.

"Your father gave it to me, of course," she said coyly, a pretty blush rushing to her cheeks. "Of course, that's not nearly as impressive as what I've seen here. I can see why you like the place. That Gippal fellow is rather attractive. Though, I didn't think he'd be your type—"

"He's not!" I cried, obviously too quickly, if the looks they were giving me was any indication.

"Ah, don't deny our love," a familiar voice rang in the near distance. His arm snaked around my waist before I had time to register the situation. He hugged me close to his body, the situation mirroring the one back in Bikanel with Paine and Yuna. "People have a right to know, kiddo."

"Fryd yna oui cyoehk? Crid ib, eteud!" I hissed, jabbing him in the side roughly. (What are you saying? Shut up, idiot!)

"Don't worry, Rikku," Rosemary said softly. Turning to Gippal, who had since let me go, she patted his cheek softly and said, Ed ech'd hela du cyo cilr drehkc, Gippal, acbaleymmo frah uin meddma Rikku ech'd nayto du damm dra funmt ruf cra vaamc ypuid oui zicd oad…" (It isn't nice to say such things, Gippal, especially when our little Rikku isn't ready to tell the world how she feels about you just yet.)

"Rosemary! Whose side are you on, anyway?!" I cried, gawking at her as though she had magically sprouted a secondary head.

"Relax, small one," she said kindly. "If we're only joking and teasing, what's the harm in it?"

Something about the way her lips turned upwards slightly made me think she knew exactly what she wasn't saying aloud. She was implying something rather pertinently, something I wasn't quite ready to talk about. Pouting to hide my unwillingness, I stamped my foot on the ground and reached for my bag of parts before slinging out of the temple.

"That's Rikku for you," I heard Rosemary teasing, following behind Dezba beside Gippal.

Outside, several of the workers were loading the different pieces onto a much larger ship. Seeing as Gippal's would-be airship was a little smaller than the _Celsius_, it was unreasonable to assume we could put it together in Djose. There simply wasn't enough space to maneuver about in. Gippal got permission to do the test-run in the Calm Lands, which is where the larger ship was taking our parts. Once we got there, we'd put the thing together and I'd finishing installing the pieces that needed to be replaced. Still, even it its compartmentalized stages, it was pretty good looking, prototype of what the finished model would look like.

No doubt, Gippal would wanna decorate the exterior later and probably put in some additional things. He was just oh so classy, after all. Give me a break. I had only provided the basics and adjusted some of the wiring. This was where the test run would come in. It would give me a chance to see what needed extra work and what needed readjusting, if not needing to be completely replaced. Since I only removed half of the old parts—the ones I knew for sure would need to be—it was a fair assumption that the ones that looked functional weren't so functional.

"Rikku, are you going somewhere?" Rosemary asked softly, watching the men load up the pieces of the ship.

"Yeah. We're heading over to the Calm Lands," I explained, bouncing back towards her. "You and Pops are gonna come, aren't you? I'd be so lonely otherwise!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Turrang asked playfully as he walked past me. I gave him a wicked smile. "I'm hurt, Rikku. And here I thought we were your source of joy and entertainment. I'm really hurt!"

"Oh, get over it, Turrang," I said, pretending to be indignant. Turning back to a smirking Rosemary, I tugged her along beside me, looping my arms in hers. "It won't take long. It'll take about a day to fly over to the Calm Lands, another two days to put the ship together and get the pieces all switched out. And then you get to see me fly Gippal's ship!"

"With the right supervision, of course," he teased from behind me. When I narrowed my eyes at him, it served to only tickle him further. "What? You didn't think I'd let Cid's girl fly my baby without someone watching her, did you? I wanna see my ship in a few months—and not smashed to pieces."

"I'll show you smashed to pieces," I muttered, eyeing him as he walked aboard the ship, disappearing on the deck.

"I don't see why your vydran and I wouldn't go," Rosemary said thoughtfully. "I came here to see you, after all. Djose is nice, but I'd much rather spend time with you. Besides, seeing you so into this, I think it would be a shame if I passed up an opportunity like this."

"Yeah, good luck with that. Try gettin' Cid to agree to that," I said.

"You just watch me, small one," she said, a knowing glint in her swirling green eyes. She folded her arms over her chest, staring just beyond the airship, like she knew something I didn't. "There's more than one way to skin a coeurl and the last time I checked, you collect more bees with honey."

"What?" I asked, completely clueless.

"What's all this ruckus goin' on?" Cid called over the roaring engine of the ship. He was glaring at the ship as he appeared on the other side of, grease stains smudged in various places. In one hand, he held a dirty rag and in the other, there was something that looked like a chipped machina.

"Pops!" I called, leaving my bag of parts on Dezba's back. Waving my hands over my head as I walked towards him, I eventually flagged him down. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"When I left, this wasn't here," he grumbled. Rosemary soon soothed the wrinkle marks etched into his forehead, murmuring something I'd rather not repeat. He was soon putty in her hands, just another workable old man. "So, uh, anyway, where ya' headed to, Rikku?"

"The Calm Lands, dear," Rosemary said, wrapping her arms around his. "Oh, but then I won't get a chance to see her while she's away. From what I understand, she's mostly in charge of this. It's such a shame, too, dear, since she'll be gone for a week. We won't get another chance to see her for some time…"

"Bah! Nonsense," he said, waving his hand as if to wave away her concerns. "We'll just tag along with them. Gippal won't mind—and if he does, I'll be shovin' my foot where the sun don't shine. Besides, we came here to see Rikku. It's only right we go where she goes."

"Of course, dear," Rosemary said, kissing his forehead. "Would you mind going to get my bags? I think I'll escort Rikku and find out where we can sleep tonight."

"Well, all right," he said, his chest poking out with pride. I rolled my eyes.

As Cid went to get her bags, Rosemary laced her arms with mine and walked me onto the airship's loading platform. Dezba and Turrang followed behind us. My head was still reeling with what had just transpired between my father and the woman he loved. Whatever happened to headstrong Cid, you know, the one I used to know? Had he just vanished?

"It's amazing what you can do with a little bit of honey," Rosemary mused, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Works like a charm."

I only wish I had whatever charm she had.

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three days had passed and we'd been in the Calm Lands for most of the time. Of those three days, one day was spent traveling, during which time I got to see Gippal and twenty-one different shades of frustration. There was a lot to be said about a person who could put up with Cid. He was one screw short of insane, though Rosemary seemed to like him. Whenever Cid and Gippal got together, there was only one topic that could destroy whatever semblance of peace had existed between them. Their most basic issue with one another was their views on machina. Cid having been born and raised on machina was a little old school; he believed machina had limitations to their usefulness, but would never deny them. He was an Al Bhed, after all—not a Yevonite idiot. Gippal, the more innovated of the two, believed that machina could go above and beyond whatever precedents had been set before. Naturally, they quarreled.

Luckily, the trip to the Calm Lands was short. Any longer and I'm sure the ship would have actually fallen from the sky just to get them to shut up.

After we arrived early the next morning, we settled down and started extracting the ship parts from the hangar and the carrying devices later attached to carry the bulk of our would-be ship. After that, we set up camp and the necessities for living, even if only for the span of three or four days. The next two days were spent working, where Turrang and I—plus a handful of crewmen—set to work replacing wiring and switching out old parts. I installed the energy core—now powered by harnessed energy from pyreflies. Gippal smiled at the thought of a never-ending power supply. Afterwards, I changed into my Black Mage dressphere and, along with several others, began melding together the ship parts with fire spells. Burn baby, burn!

I went to sleep that night under the stars, greatly anticipating the next morning, where I would finally get to pilot Gippal's ship. It was something like a reward for all of my hard efforts—even if it was only three months. Sure, there would be more work to follow, fine tweaking an all that, but that wouldn't take more than ten or twelve months at best. There would be more test runs and more part replacements, but for what we had achieved in such a short amount of time, I waited patiently. It would all be worth it.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Cid's girl—I need to talk to you."

I peered up at Gippal from my bed. I had been lacing up my blue boots, my scarf spilling down my shoulders. he was standing in the doorway like he wasn't sure why he was there. Not only that, he was jumpy—a very un-Gippalish thing. Disheveled and completely out of sorts, Gippal stood in my doorway, looking as though he was a lost child. He could have very well been one, the way he was refusing to make eye contact with me, another un-Gippalish thing. He was arrogant—looking people in the eyes to make them squirm was kinda like his "thing."

When I nodded, he came in and sat down beside me. The perplexed look on his face made me worry. Gippal was never serious, never nervous. And yet, his hands were sweating and he was fidgeting, his face a mixture of concern and forlorn exasperation.

"What's wrong, machina man?" I said, pulling my legs to my chest. I had thought of lightening the mood, but I didn't want him to think me childish. So I remained quiet, feeling like I was walking on chocobo eggshells.

"I don't think this is a good idea," he admitted. I stared at him quizzically, not entirely sure I knew what he was talking about. It would be just like Gippal to have a secret conversation with himself and then decide to clue me in half way through, as if I was somehow able to read his mind and pick up where he had left off. I can save the world—not read minds. "I mean, I don't feel right with you flying my ship, Rikku. It's dangerous."

"Oh, get over it!" I joked, nudging him playfully. He whipped his head to face me, gawking at how lightly I was approaching this. "Relax, Gippal. I promise, I won't damage your ship." Shaking my head, I got to my feet and headed for the door. Or at least, I would have, if he hadn't gripped my wrist to damn tightly. "Gippal? I said I wouldn't crash your—"

"That ship be damned," he muttered, tugging me roughly until I slammed into his chest. He trapped me in his arms, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I shuddered at the intensity of our closeness, my hands dangling uselessly at my side. "I don't care what happens to that ship if the same could happen to you, Rikku. I need you—I don't need some stupid ship if that means you're hurt because of it. Rikku, I need you."

"G-Gippal," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist. Closing my eyes, I rested against the stiffness of his body until he finally relaxed, the tension drifting from him. "I promise I won't do anything reckless. I'll come back to you, just like I always do. I promise."

I don't know how much time passed with me wrapped up in Gippal's arm, but I certainly didn't care. I was only concerned when I heard an all too familiar cough behind me. Gippal heard it too and we slowly, reluctantly pulled away from one another, Gippal looking at anything but the person standing in the doorway. I refused to turn around; my cheeks were on fire and my heart felt like it would tear through my chest at any moment. I couldn't very well have that happened to whatever unlucky bystander had disturbed my moment with Gippal.

"Uhm, I'm sorry to interrupt," Turrang said, staring down at the floor, his cheeks aflame too. "But, uh, the crew is all ready for the initial test run."

"Oh…all right," I said, not really paying attention to what he was saying. I was too focused on how intently Gippal was staring at me, his one good eye trained on my face. "Uhm, thanks, Turrang. I'll, uh, be down in a minute."

Turrang left silently, leaving me alone with Gippal once again. He pulled me into his embrace again, cradling me like the lost child I felt like, rocking me soothingly. I melded into him, drawing from whatever source of stability he seemed to possess, wanting it for myself. He trailed his lips against my cheek, before burying his face in my neck once more. I wasn't sure when it happened, but something drastic had changed in Gippal. He was acting differently.

He was acting like he cared about me.

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"Ymm nekrd puoc y kenmc, mecdah lynavimmo," Turrang said I situated myself into the navigator's seat. "Drec cruimt pa vyenmo cesbma. Ed'c zicd y dacd nih. Rikku femm dyga ic uid frema E kyika nayldeuhc yht dra cocdas hispanc. Drah cra'mm dyga ic pylg yht fa'mm pakeh fungehk ykyeh. Tuac ajanouha ihtancdyht?" (All right boys a girls, listen carefully. This should be fairly simple. It's just a test run. Rikku will take us out while I gauge reactions and the system numbers. Then she'll take us back and we'll begin working again. Does everyone understand?)

"I think we've got it, Cap'n obvious," I teased, pressing a few buttons. "Cayd pamdc ajanouha! Drec sekrd kad pisbo!"

the engine roared to life, stalling a few times before bursting to life. Rising into the air, it shuddered uncontrollably until settling down. Behind me, Turrang jotted down several quick notes while I took them down mentally. With it being the first time, there was a margin of error that we could allow for, most of the incidents being attributed to previous lack of use and old age. Anything exceeding that margin needed to be looked into. I racked my brain trying to remember what parts I knew for sure would need replacing after this test run. Then again, that's what Turrang had tagged along for, wasn't it? I might as well let him do his job and do my own.

Someone started saying something behind me, but he was talking to Turrang very quickly. Even if he had been talking to me, I'd have had to ask him to be silent. I was listening to the congested sound my engine was making and began running down a list of things that could make it sound so sickly. As I steered the ship forward, a shudder ran through the ship and we dipped in altitude, but nothing else noticeable followed. Gippal had warned us to keep it low to the ground, in case the engine stalled. Fixing dents was a lot easier the replacing whole sheets of metal on the ship, according to him. I found that I had to agree with him. Thirty or so feet below us, everyone who had accompanied us was waving and cheering at our initial success. I had to admit, I was surprised she was stable enough to hover for so long. Seven minutes had already passed and with the exception of the minor shudders every so often, she maintained herself quite nicely.

"She's going to need some work in the wiring part. The engine is a little rusty, too, but nothing too hard," Turrang said. "Now, Miss Navigator, let's see how the gears shift, shall we?"

"Aye-aye, Cap'n!" I cheered, shifting from neutral to first gear. The engine growled unhappily then complied to my order, stuttering forward until the kinks worked themselves out and we moved smoothly. "Whoohoo! Listen to that baby purr!"

"Stay focused, Rikku," Turrang said. "There's a whole line of people down there waiting to kill me if something bad happens to you. I would prefer to get this over with as quickly as possible without any accidents. I happen to enjoy life, thank you very much."

"Cid and Rosemary wouldn't burst a blood vessel, I promise," I said.

"And Gippal?" he retorted.

"Ah…good point," I admitted nervously.

I focused on the task at hand, randomly adjusting my gears from one to two then three, then back down to one. While the gears were mostly cooperative, there were still some kinks in the wiring and control panel that we would have to work out. the rudders were a little uncouth, too, and I'd have to be the one working of them, if Turrang was handling the electrical side of things.

"Ruf tuac cra vaam?" (How does she feel?)

"Kuut," I said, tilting my head from left to right. He came to stand beside me as I turned to face him. "Y meddma zisbo, pid udranfeca cra'c kuut." (Good. A little jumpy, but otherwise she's good.)

"Famm dryd'c kuut du ghuf," he said, smiling in relief. I couldn't blame him, I'd been as equally worried beforehand. "E't pa funneat udranfeca dryd ymm uv uin avvundc fana vun hyikrd."(Well that's good to know. I'd be worried otherwise that all of our efforts were for naught.)

suddenly, a red light above my head began glowing, a loud, ear-splitting screech following it. A warning accompanied the equally annoying occurrences, though I couldn't understand it at first. As the people around me began panicking, I stared down at the navigation panel. The warning originated from there. Doing the only thing I could think of, I slammed both my hands on the source of the original sound until it came out clearly.

_Fynhehk...Fynhehk...Ehlusehk fiend..._

"Fiend?!" I declared, nearly jumping from my seat. I only tightened my grip on the navigational sticks. "What fiend? I don't see any—

The ship lurched forward suddenly, tossing many of the passengers to the ground. I slammed my head against the navigational panel, the sudden stop catching me off guard. The lights kept blaring overhead, accompanied by the annoying periodical screeching; the warning sound persisting just as loudly as it had when it first started. _I'll have to get a better pre-emptive warning,_ I found myself thinking as I sat up, rubbing my cut forehead. Turrang picked himself up, his right hand clutching onto the armrest of my seat.

"Mandragora," he said, his eyes wide with fear.

Sure enough, the leafy, clawed tentacles, which had likely stopped us in the first place, slowly wrapped themselves around the open window of the cockpit. Growling, I leapt from my seat, changing my dressphere without giving it a second thought. I changed into my black mage dressphere, spinning my staff wildly as I aimed for the tentacles.

"What are you doing?" Turrang cried, trying to stead himself as the fiend shook the ship violently.

"What do you think? I'm gonna blast it to bits, of course!" I said.

Closing my eyes, I began to Focus, magic flowing through my body like a live current. Breathing deeply, I held my staff out before me, fire racing to the palm of my hands as I gathered energy to perform Firaga. When enough energy had built up inside my hands, I channeled the energy through the staff, marveling as the bright flames licked at the glass before bursting through the window, causing the Mandragora enough pain to release us. Unfortunately, it more or less threw us into the ground, where we skidded for several yards before coming to a smoldering stop.

"Nice going, Rikku," I scolded while trying to get up. Glancing upwards, I calculated the damage. We would definitely need another three months just to fix whatever we managed to break. "Owie..." I was definitely going to need some white magic goodness later.

As I crawled out of the broken front window, I tumbled down several rocks that we created from the impact. As I touched down on ground, I heard a familiar chirping sound, though this time, it was tinged in concern. Glancing up, I saw Dezba racing towards me. Since no one else was following him, I figured he had taken off before anyone else knew something was wrong.

"Dezba," I greeted, trying to hide the pain in my left side. The crash really did a number on me. "I'm glad you're here. I might need to fight on your back again. A fiend attacked us—a terrible, nasty Mandragora and I don't know if I got it or not."

"That may be the least of our problems, Rikku."

Turrang, whose arm was wrapped around his midsection, pointed towards the side of the ship, where a mech defender was digging its pincers into the side of my ship. It tore something out of the side, something that looked strangely like the energy core I had just installed. Growling I raced towards it, only to be stopped by the impeding size of a Great Marlboro, something that had no business in the Calm Lands, last time I checked. Poisonous muck dripping from its mouth, it wobbled dangerously.

"Yeouch," I said, taking several steps backwards. "Well...at least I got rid of the Mandragora, right...?"

"How do you suppose we handle this?" Turrang asked, inching closer to me. "Any ideas?"

"Well...you're an Al Bhed, right? Shouldn't you have like a gazillion grenades handy or something?" I asked nervously. I fingered my staff, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Uh, right?"

"You want me to throw grenades at it?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah. And we don't have time to argue about this," I said impatiently. "That stupid fiend took off with my energy core and I don't plan on making another one. Just follow my lead, all right? I promise you won't get hurt."

Before he could protest, I leapt onto Dezba's back and began running circles around the giant, black-blue fiend, one of its many eyes following me as we picked up speed. Turrang leapt backwards, preparing to launch a handful of grenades once its back was turned. As I raced around with Dezba, I began channeling energy, flames dancing around me as the air began warm with my magic. Naturally, the fiend focused on me, just like I wanted it to. Unfortunately for me, even with Dezba's unmatched speed, the Marlboro depended mostly on its status-inflicting spells as opposed to straight out damage. I had about one minute before the situation spiraled out of control.

"Time to heat things up," I said, before a ball of flame burst from my staff. The Great Marlboro roared loudly, before spewing a gaseous cloud towards me. I avoided most of the effects, but suddenly felt my skin burning. Before I could assess that, Dezba and I were knocked over by the massive size of the fiend as it charged us.

"Rikku!" Turrang called through a terrible coughing spasm.

"Don't move!" I called, trembling with whatever poison it decided to affect me with. Slowly, I clamored to my feet, eyeing the fiend suspiciously. "Umph!" I cried, sinking to my knees. The slow killing effects of the poison were starting to wear into me and I was without any sort of curing item.

"Well that sucks," I said, wiping the sweat from my forehead. "Especially since we don't have time for this. Heh...I guess it's time for a little shakey-shakey!"

Grinding my teeth together, I desperately wished that Paine and Yuna were with me. Three black mages were always better than the one idiot riding on the back of a chocobo. _Oh well. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do._

As I channeled the energy to change my dressphere, the Great Marlboro switched its attention to Turrang, the only attacking member of our makeshift party. I only hoped I could regain its attention before Turrang suffered as badly as I was suffering. As my clothes changed to my Berserker dressphere, the fiend, who had set its sights on Turrang, stopped suddenly and charged towards me.

"Bite me!" I cried, prancing impatiently on my feet the antsier I grew. "Oh, better yet, let me bite you!"

The Great Marlboro went to attack me, but I avoided easily, counterattacking quickly as I charged my Cripple attack. I was done playing games—I needed to end this quickly. My machina part was being taken to god knows where. As the fiend heaved forward with exhaustion, I went to finish it off, Turrang steadily throwing grenades at its turned back. As I dashed towards the fiend, I kicked it twice—once for a counterattack, the other a planned assault—it dispersed into pyreflies, but not before unleashing another Bad Breath attack. This time, Turrang was downed.

"Turrang!" I cried, rushing towards him, the white robes of my White Mage coming into full effect. "Turrang! Hold on—don't you dare give up on me!"

"Hey...I'm the one that's supposed to be protecting you," he said, sinking to his knees. I fell to his side, cradling his head in my arms. "Don't worry about me, Rikku. As long as you're all right, Gippal won't be too mad I let his ship crash."

As his eyes closed, I slowly began curing him of his status ailments, his words echoing in my head. Once I was sure that he and the six other people that had accompanied us were still breathing, I cast Curaga on the lot of them. With the help of Dezba, I had dragged them from the inside of the ship and set them out on the grassy area, praying that another fiend wouldn't show before someone had found them first. Turning to the ship, I sighed. A large cloud of black smoke was blocking out the sunny sky.

"What a mess," I said to myself, nuzzling Dezba before mounting him. "Sadly...we're only halfway done. Whaddaya say, huh? Shall we go get that energy core back so we can surprise Gippal?"

Dezba chirped loudly, quickening his pace. As we raced forward, trailing behind the fiend, I made a silent prayer. I hoped that I'd be enough. I really didn't want to break my promise to Gippal so quickly after I gave him my word. He'd never let me hear the end of it.

-----------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I really hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. And, just FYI, the next chapter is told from…wait for it…Gippal's POV! Whoohoo!! Anyway, that's something to look forward to for next week. I hope you enjoyed.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	12. Fight or Flight

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

Author's Note**: **I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

This is the "rescue chapter," told from Gippal's POV, naturally. Having said that, I can admit that this was a very difficult chapter to write. I'm not a guy—so I don't know what sorts of things he'd be thinking about.

P.S. — There will be fluff!

Chapter 12: Fight or Flight

I found a nice little rock to sit on as we waited for the ship to return. Cid and Rosemary were cozied up against a rock similar to the one I was on. I found myself wishing I had gone with Rikku and Turrang. At least then I could be having some fun. Sighing deeply, I stared off into the rolling waves of green, wondering why I had never come to visit before. The Calm Lands were actually pretty nice, calm even. Ironic, I know. Relaxing on the rock, I stared up into the bright blue sky, trying to think nice, pleasant thoughts. To be honest, I don't know how I managed to not force myself onto that ship with Rikku. It was probably my fear of how she would react if she thought I was babying her.

A loud squawking above my head brought me crashing back into reality. Opening my eye irritably, I glared up into Dezba's bright golden face, pushing his beak away. Sitting up, I continued to glare at him, growling in my chest. He pranced about nervously, picking at my shirt, tugging me. I swatted him away, threatening to do more if he kept up. I don't know why Rikku would keep something better meant for carting things around. She's a strange girl.

"Payd ed, pentpnyeh," I growled, swatting at him again. (Beat it, birdbrain.)

When he squawked again, dipping his beak to clutch at my shirt, I tightened my hand into a fist and made to attack him. Damn bird is much faster than he lets on. I collided with the ground, but the bird took off at least.

"Cdibet pent. Niehat y banvaldmo kuut crend." (Stupid bird. Ruined a perfectly good shirt.)

"Gippal! Muug ujan drana! Drana'c csuga!" (Look over there! There's smoke!)

"Csuga?" I echoed softly, slowly getting to my feet. "Frana?" (Where?)

"Ed...ed muugc mega frana dra creb fyc raytehk," the man replied sadly, his arm dropping to his side. (It…it looks like where the ship was heading.)

Something in my gut told me Rikku was in danger. Being hardheaded—well, it never made listening to my gut easy. This time though, I wish I had.

As I raced to where the ship had last been seen, I held my breath in hopes that I wouldn't lose it later. Whenever Rikku was involved in something, there was simple means of handling it. No, with her, it was either complicated or non-existent. Sometimes, it was fun—saving the world was fun. But when it came to her livelihood—or lack thereof—it gave me pause. Cid and Rosemary, as well as those who had stayed back for technical support, were hot on my heels. I suddenly wished I had followed Dezba when he took off several minutes ago. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong, not the pillar of smoke smashing against the pristine blue sky.

"Cid, what's going on?" I heard Rosemary ask the man directly behind me. "What's happened to the ship, muja?"

If he was anything like I remembered him to be, he would purse his lips and not pretend to have all the answers. Try as he might, Cid was nothing but mud wherever his children were involved, Rikku especially. I couldn't blame him. Whenever I thought something was wrong with her, I cringed at the thought and tried to think of happier times, like when we were children.

Rikku was always in the middle of something. I just chalked it up as being apart of her nature. She was naturally curious and had the strongest sense of duty that I had ever seen before. She was devoted to a fault and valued the lives and happiness of others before her own. I suppose that's why we never worked out before. She was too busy saving the world to notice what I wanted for her, for us. I admired her selflessness, though, and that's probably why I went out and did my part. If I could help her come home sooner, then it was worth it. If she could see me the way I always saw her, then being shot in the chest was worth it…

"Oh my god..."

Smoke billowed up in thick, black pillars, splashed against the sky in an ugly contrast. Below this were the remnants of my ship, metal crunched together in ugly heaps, crinkled like paper. Yet, this was the least of my concerns. My men lay splayed out for all the world to see, in front of the smoldering remains of my ship. Blood spots littered their clothing, their faces, glass and metal shards covering what the blood missed. Eyes closed and mouths twisted with pain, they were the epitome of my lacking leadership skills. Because of my inability, they had suffered.

"We did what we could...it just wasn't enough."

I turned to the man who spoke. He was beaten up badly, but had suffered considerably less than those sprawled out on the ground. He held his side, cracked ribs probably, favoring his right leg as he approached me. Rosemary rushed past, taking the man into her arms, hobbling with him as he aimed for a rock to sit on. Rosemary and Cid helped him to get situated until he was able to sit without teetering.

"Fryd rybbahat rana? Damm sa ajanodrehk," I said, staring into his face, begging him for something like closure. "E haat du ghuf." (What happened here? Tell me everything. I need to know.)

"Y fiend yddylgat ic frema fa lenlmat ynuiht," he began, closing his eyes as though something pained him. I doubted that it had anything to do with his physical wounds. "Turrang yht Rikku tet draen jano pacd du gaab dra creb vnus lnycrehk. Pid ed fyc hu kuut. Fa fana aycemo ujanbufanat."

(A fiend attacked us while we circled around. Turrang and Rikku did their very best to keep the ship from crashing. But it was no good. We were easily overpowered.)

"Yht yvdan dryd?" (And after that?)

"E...E tuh'd ghuf," he stammered, tears swelling up in his eyes. "Ajanodrehk fahd pmylg. E's cina fa lnycrat." (I...I don't know. Everything went black. I'm sure we crashed.)

"Drah frana yna drao? Frana yna Turrang yht Rikku?" (Then where are they? Where are Turrang and Rikku?)

"E's cunno, Gippal, pid E tuh'd ghuf." (I'm sorry, Gippal, but I don't know.)

"I said where the hell is she?!" I practically yelled into the man's face. I tore him from the rock as I balled my fists into his collar, holding him at arm's length, above me. I shook him violently, anger surging throughout my body. I trembled with the mounting emotion. "Where is Rikku?!"

"Gi-Gippal..."

I cast about for Turrang, having heard his voice amongst the mounting song of chaos. Kicking aside metal sheets and glass, I found him, just as beaten as the rest, though there was something dangerously familiar in his eyes. It reminded me of the first time he admitted he had failed me. It had been so long ago that I nearly forgot. It had only ever happened once.

"Where is she, Turrang? Where is Rikku?"

He beckoned me closer with a flick of his wrist. Taking hold of mine, he stared into my eyes with something akin to agony echoing in the green depths of his eyes. It worried me, seeing him so brutally honest, so off-center. The shambles he was left in had little to do with the crash. I feared what he would tell me.

"It tore a pretty big hole out of the ship, Gippal," Turrang said, tightening his hold on my wrists, as though willing me to understand whatever it was he was trying to say. He coughed, blood leaking from the sides of his mouth. He wasn't in terribly bad shape, but he needed immediate attention. "She…she said you wouldn't be ha-happy about that…so she…she…"

Turrang's grasp on my wrists weakened until his arms hung lifelessly at his side. I shook him, trying to bring him back to the realm of consciousness. I needed to know where Rikku was. I had to know!

"She ran off…to find the fiend…"

It was Rosemary who spoke, holding what looked like Rikku's scarf in her hand; only the one clutched so tightly in her grasp was stained with splotches of blood. _Her blood_, I thought regrettably. The woman who was the closest thing Rikku had to a mother looked up to me with fear intermingling in the spirals of green akin to the Al Bhed. Like any good mother, her mouth puckered with fear, merging with the part of her mind that knew Rikku best.

Immediately, she formed terrible outcomes and all of the possibilities of her adventuresome daughter's lifestyle. Her tanned face crumbled with a dismal imagination of what possibilities had likely already happened—none of them fairing well for our missing girl.

Gritting my teeth, I pulled the scarf away from her, watching as she crumbled into an unusually silent Cid's arms. Shoving the soft fabric against my face, I found myself wondering—if only briefly—if I'd ever get a chance to return the beloved thing to her.

* * *

Somehow, someone managed to coerce me into helping return the wounded to camp. I must have been pretty tuned out of my mind to have been so easily commanded about. Of course, perhaps part of me knew that it was something Rikku would have done…had she been there. I wondered where she was. I wondered if I'd ever see her again. I soon realized that those aren't the sorts of things you should think about when the person you care the most about is unaccounted for.

"I can't just sit here and wait," I said, slamming my fist against a wall. Several people's heads snapped up and peered in my general direction. "What if she's hurt?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

Cid stood idly by, something missing from his usually determined eyes. The man seemed lost, standing in a sea of his people. This was his natural playing atmosphere, and yet he looked as though he didn't know up from down. He stared helplessly as several healers worked, running around to tend to the newly opened wounds and the like. I couldn't blame him. His only daughter was out battling against the chill night air and whatever manner of fiend was out there. That thought alone must have torn his heart asunder…the same way it did mine.

"That girl's been gettin' inta trouble since she was a kid," Cid explained softly, all manner of gruff masculinity gone from him. "I don't see why I'm so su'prised, with her bein' out there like she is. But she's my little girl, Gippal. She's my only daughter."

"I know what you mean, Cid," I said, falling against the wall. I closed my eyes in memory, trying to envision her smiling, golden face on last time. Slowly, I sunk into the shores of my memories, drowning myself in their images.

I remembered Rikku—the smiling goofball with a passion for machina. She was the epitome of beauty and intelligence. She knew her way around a machina better than most men my age and she knew her way around me. Rikku was always just beyond my grasp, surrounded in a glowing aura. I could never touch her; all I could ever do was watch her float further and further away from me. Even now, when we were so close to one another, she was still just out of my reach. She was my goal; she was my happiness.

"I failed her…I should never have let her get on that damn ship!" I said, sinking to my knees. I trembled, the preamble to the tears that were sure to come. A heart-wrenching shudder rushed through my body, shoulders hunched forward for my weakness. "I was so stupid! How could I not have seen this? I…I should have done something for her!"

"If you don't stop blubbering, so help, I'll shove my foot in your ass."

Rosemary stood in the tiny doorway fuming, her arms crossed over her chest with an indignant flare. She stomped closer towards us, glaring before she snagged me by the collar. She shook her finger in my face threateningly, her green eyes glowing with passion.

"Sitting here complaining about her being gone isn't gonna bring her back," she said, casting her glare towards Cid before she focused on me again. "Aren't you supposed to be taking care of her, Gippal? Aren't you the one we left her with in the first place?"

"It's not like I made her get on that damn ship! Now she's gone. Now she's—"

"Shut up! Don't whine about things you can't fix. If you wanna do something half-assed, then so be it! That's all you've ever done, anyway. The minute something gets too complicated or too hard for you, you give up! It's time you cared about something with your whole heart. No more of this pussyfooting around, you understand me! You either go out there and rescue my little girl or don't ever come back into her life again!"

Rosemary's grip on my collar lessened, her anger dissipating into her true emotion. I stared into her swirling green eyes, sadness finally overwhelming her. She shuddered like I did, tears now streaming down her face. She used the back of her arm to wipe away the tears, trying to keep herself together. When that failed, she turned her back to me. Beneath her anger and her painful words, she was just a mourning woman wanting her daughter to return safely.

"You can't half-love something, Gippal," she said, heaving with emotion. "You either love her for all its worth…or leave her alone."

* * *

The Calm Lands were an incredible expanse that reached and rolled on for several hundred yards. The grassy hills and sparse trees made most fiends flee to cavernous holes dug into the sides of the mountainous sides. Of course, the occasional Great Marlboro was said to roam about, but everything else only came out of their caves when there was someone to eat. Luckily for me, I'm part machina so I escaped a lot of unnecessary fighting.

Overhead, the darkening sky looked like an ink-covered canvas, dotted with the occasional star. Purple clouds made their slow treks across the open night sky, going off to distant lands. I slowly began to wonder just how far Dezba had taken my Rikku away. When I found the little whelp, I'd punish him for taking her away from me. I smiled at the thought of how indignant she'd be. Surely Rikku would scold me and try to run as far as she could just to spite me, not knowing how tightly I'd hold her to me. But I could never deny her flight. Wherever she was, I would be. The sky was the limit…unless she wanted more.

The cry of a fiend alerted me that I wasn't alone anymore. Perhaps I had found Rikku in all of this spacious chaos. My heart leapt into my throat as I began racing towards the source of the sound. The unmistakable cry of a chocobo—Dezba was there, which meant Rikku was too! I don't know how it was possible, but I ran faster, smashing my feet into the ground as I propelled forward into the chilling night air. It stung as it pierced my skin, but the painfully throbbing lump in my chest wouldn't let me focus on such mundane things. Finding Rikku was my only priority.

Home to many cavernous dwellings for fiends, the 'Calm Lands' was perhaps a precarious name for such a place. Maybe 'Fiend Basin' was a better designation for this particular region. Of course, I could see the dilemma Yevon would have had, trying to peruse Summoners into making their Pilgrimage through something so dangerous perception-wise.

I was sure the sound had come from one of the caverns. I just had to figure out which one of the many—

"Pyreflies?" I said to myself as a small bunch raced past me. Pyreflies meant fiends. And if I knew anything at all about Cid's girl, fiends meant Rikku.

Picking up my lost speed, I made a mad dash towards the source of the pyreflies. Standing in a battered heap of her once golden glory was Rikku, leaning against Dezba for support. Her legs threatened to give out beneath her, much like the rest of her body. The way she was barely holding onto her daggers told me she had been fighting for an awfully long time. She was ready to collapse.

"Rikku."

She tilted her gaze towards me, but instead of relief, as I expected to see, she paled visibly, backing away from me. Dezba squawked uneasily as I approached cautiously, backing away from me with his mistress. The two of them backed into the rocky mouth of the cave, Rikku trembling with something akin to fear. Her open eyes echoed nothing but screamed out in agony against my being there. I didn't understand. Didn't she want me to save her?

"Rikku—what's wrong?" I asked, reaching out towards her.

"Kad yfyo vnus sa!" she screamed, slicing at the air separating us. Any closer and it would have been me. "E's hud nayto du ku du dra Farplane! Hu! Hud oad, bmayca. E ryjah'd dumt res—" (Get away from me! I'm not ready to go to the Farplane! No! Not yet, please. I haven't told him—)

"Rikku! Kad y rumt uv ouincamv!" I said, lunging towards her. (Get a hold of yourself!)

On hindsight, I realize that probably wasn't the best idea to have popped into my head, especially since she was the deranged one waving the pointy daggers around. The sharpness of her blades was amazing, as was the ease of it slicing through my skin, embedding itself in warm, pulsating muscle. I fell into her tiny, trembling form, the sudden onset of pain dizzying up my sense of reality. Surprisingly, she caught me in her arms, though most of her strength had gone to fending off fiends.

"Gippal," she whispered, tightening her hold around me. Ed'c naymmo oui. Oui'na hud—?" (It's really you. You're not—?)

"Hu, E's ymeja, kiddo. Fuihtat huf, pid ymeja ymm dra cysa," I replied softly, nuzzling into the top of her head. (No, I'm alive, kiddo. Wounded now, but alive all the same.)

"E's cunno," she practically sobbed, burying her face into my chest. (I'm sorry.)

* * *

A heavy storm caught the three of us off guard. Traveling in such weather with her condition would only worsen it. Besides, I was too afraid to return Cid and Rosemary damaged goods. Cid was known to pack a punch and I was sure his lady friend was no pushover, either, if her tone was anything to go on. So I suggested to Rikku, once she calmed down, that we remain in the cave until morning, when it was safer to travel. She didn't argue, admitting that she wasn't entirely over her great fear of lightning. I didn't blame her. That stuff gave me the creeps, too.

While Rikku set about to setting up camp at the cave's entrance, I was on patrol duty. She had sent Dezba out to find firewood, making him promise to stay close to the cave. It's a wonder he understands her. but, knowing Rikku, she probably found him when he was young and went through the whole ordeal of teaching him how to understand her and vice versa. She was a people person, after all, and believed in justice and equality. It was one of her nobler qualities, not that they all weren't nice. I just preferred that one to some of her others.

As was to be expected, the cave stretched onwards and down, spiraling for a while before opening onto a stone altar. I suppose there was once some amazing treasure there. quirking a brow, I realize Rikku must have taken it. She would never settle inside a cave without have investigating it first. Growling, I marched back up the path, determined to give her a piece of my mind.

"Rikku, you little brat—"

Somehow, I forgot whatever it was I was about to say. Standing in front of me was a vision from whatever machina deity existed for me to have been privy to such beauty. Rikku was clad in little more than a wet shirt, which clung to her body rather befittingly. The red tinge to her cheeks and the coyness of her next movements reminded me of her purity. Trying to deny the urge I suddenly had to throw her down on the impromptu bed mats, I gulped loudly, casting about for something to distract myself with. Unluckily for me, all I could see was Rikku.

"Is…is something w-wrong, Gi-Gippal?" she stammered, her face hot with innocence.

"Only the things suddenly coursing through my head," I said, before I realized it. When I looked at her face, she was petrified. "Ah, damnit, Cid's girl. I—"

"W-What sort of things?" she asked. She stepped closer to me hesitantly, my breath catching in my throat.

I didn't need much more of an invitation than that. I reached out and entangled her trembling body in my arms, bringing her against my warm body. She trembled in what I can only imagine as delight, if the soft moan she released was any indication. I bent down and gently nipped at the side of her neck, another moan following. When she didn't stop me, I trailed my tongue up to her earlobe, nibbling and suckling until she writhed in my arms uncontrollably. Taking the soft flesh between my teeth, I bit down softly, reveling in the feel of her body pressing itself against me, every curve and contour setting my senses ablaze.

Her fingers wound their way through my hair, something I had longed for since she found herself in Djose. I found her neck again, biting softly, sucking on the soft skin until it was purple and red with abuse. She tightened her grasp on my hair, moaning into the open air until I capture her lips with mine. The shocked sound she made swam into my mouth, my tongue into hers. I found her bottom lip and traced it, her body trembling, another moan finding its way into me. Tentatively, her tongue moved against mine, slithering into the warmer parts of my mouth. I paid the new feel no attention. I was too enthralled in the way she felt.

The warm crevices of her mouth were inviting and sweet with her innocence. I pulled away enough to take her bottom lip into my mouth, suckling and nibbling until her moans were breathy and unbalanced. I dragged my hands up her sides and her arms until I could cup her face, holding it between my hands to find her eyes staring at me with longing. As much as I wanted to take her, it wouldn't feel right. I could wait, right?

"Gi-Gippal," she murmured when I disentangled myself from her warmed body. "D-Did I do s-s-something wrong?"

I didn't exactly know how to answer her without hurting her feelings. I walked back towards her and captured her mouth in a passionate kiss, bruising her fragile lips with the force of the message I tried to convey. She melted as my callused hands traced her bare arms, finding her neck again. This time, I cupped her face and stared at her, watching the lingering sensation leave until she was without sexual ecstasy.

"I want you. But I also wanna respect you, Rikku," I murmured against her lips, watching her eyes come to life, her cheeks reddening from realization.

I left her standing there, lost in her thoughts. The perplexed tinge to her eyes was priceless. For once, I had stumped Rikku. It was a beautiful sight, her bruised lips and glowing, red cheeks. She was like that because of me and she actually enjoyed it. For some reason, I thought she'd laugh at me for even thinking of her in such a way. I suppose that she must have wanted something like that to happen, too, right? What other reason does a girl have for letting a boy kiss her and demand more afterwards?

Rikku went to stand beside the cave entrance while I began preparing the fireplace for when Dezba returned. I must have moved funny; the wound Rikku inflicted earlier screamed out and I was left to double over in pain. That girl could really pack a wallop.

"Gippal—what's wrong?" she asked, falling to her knees beside me. She touched my back, her other hand reaching for mine. She pulled back immediately when the warm blood oozed onto her fingertips. "You're bleeding? You moron!" she scolded.

Before I got another word in edgewise, she had flipped me onto my back. She pinned me there with a stern glare, one I knew better than to disobey. So I remained where I was until the familiar feel of down feathers brushed against my side. Dezba had returned, squawking sadly as he settled down beside me. I had to admit, for a chocobo, he was a pretty damn good pillow. Moments later, I felt the warmth of a fire beside my right arm, Rikku returning to sight. She settled herself atop of me, her legs straddling either side of my hips. The shirt she was wearing rose up her thighs and I had to fight the urge to push it up further.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I demanded when her fingertips brushed over my stomach.

"I need to have a look at your wound," she said indignantly, though I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. her touch was so gentle and so light. It was…intoxicating.

Rikku made quick work of my shirt, a bandage practically materializing out of nowhere. I could argue. Any excuse for her to touch me was welcome, even at my own expense. I noticed that my half-nakedness was having the same effect on her that her flashy show was on me. When she finished with the bandage, I could feel her muscles preparing to leave me. I took a hold of her wrist and held her in place, surprising both of us with my boldness.

"You never told me," I said.

"Told you what?" she squeaked.

Pulling her down, I nuzzled the top of her head with my cheek, the blonde tresses soft and familiar. I would always remember Rikku's hair. It was different from all the others I'd ever met. Her hair was golden to their pale blonde; even my hair paled in comparison to the glimmer of her hair. She was golden like the beloved desert we Al Bhed called Home.

"When you saw me, you freaked out. You said you couldn't go because you hadn't told him. I'm obviously 'him,' so what didn't you tell me?" I asked, tightening my arm around her lower back. The other remained lying across her upper back, my hands digging into the wildness of her hair. "Rikku?"

"I never told you how happy I was being with you in Djose. I should have told you a long time ago…what it's been like. I felt like I was home, Gippal, because you were here with me. We could have been anywhere…as long as you were there, it made things easier," she said softly, her voice saturated with emotion.

This was the side of Rikku I hadn't seen in years. She was usually too aloof to be real; she didn't want to admit that she cared about anything too much for fear that it would be taken from her. So she distanced herself, the same as most Al Bhed. The only difference was she had to shoulder the entire weight of Spira on her shoulders not once but twice. She endured their pain and made it her own so that she would never have to admit that she had lost people, too.

"You didn't have to tell me, kiddo," I said, kissing her forehead. "I knew…I felt the same. Djose wasn't my home until you made it yours."

* * *

"I'm gonna kill 'im! That pycdynt is sleeping with my daughter!" (bastard)

"Muja, relax. You're overreacting, again…" (love)

"Overreacting? The hell with that!"

Whoever was bickering really needed to keep it down. If I remembered correctly, Rikku was sleeping and she needed her rest. Whoever it was making all the noise was gonna wake her and then they'd have to deal with me. I opened my eye, the sun blaring into it angrily. I immediately closed it, but realized that I had seen two distinct shades in the sun's brightness. Those had to be the two people yelling.

"Hey, do ya mind? I'm kinda in the middle of keeping Cid's girl warm. She needs to rest. If she wakes up, you'll be dealin' with me," I grumbled, trying to sound intimidating. "And for you Al Bhed out there, gad mucd. Fa'na cmaabehk rana!" (Get lost. We're sleeping here!)

"Why you little punk!" one of the two people said, sound way more intimidating than I did. I opened my eye to figure out whether it was friend or fiend.

"Cid, don't you lay a finger on that boy!"

Yup. Definitely a fiend.

Slowly, I got into a sitting position, Rikku pooling in my lap, sleeping soundlessly. Last time I saw her, she was a light sleeper. For all of the noise not to have bothered her, a number of things had to be true. First, the two arguing were Cid and Rosemary. The sound of parents fighting never wakes up a child, especially when the child is used to that sound. Second, seeing as the first was practically confirmed, if my face being in tact was any indication at all, we had been found out. And lastly, Rikku had to be exhausted. Nudging my leg beneath her, she only groaned and shifted into a more comfortable position. Great, I'm gonna be skewered while the Princess Brat sleeps through it all.

"Gippal—any last words before I kill ya, son?" Cid demanded angrily, heaving as we finally locked eyes.

Rikku shifted again, murmuring something as she did so. I stared down at her, leaning back on my arms. When she moved for the third time, she position herself so that her head was resting against my chest, her face tilted upwards as though she wanted to kiss me. It was only then that I heard what she had been whispering.

"Gippal…save me…" she murmured, pressing her lips against mine while she shifted.

At that moment in time, I couldn't have cared less what Cid wanted to do to me. Waking up to Rikku cradled in my arms and hearing her say my name in the breathy groan could hold me over for all eternity if need be. Ignoring to the two ogling people, I reached out and brushed a strand of golden hair from her face, cupping her cheek as I did so. The slight touch, surprisingly enough, roused the sleeping girl from her sleep. She yawned, her bright eyes fluttering open.

"Good morning, Gippal," she murmured, tightening her arms around my neck. She tilted her head to the left, staring at me quizzically. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope," I said. "I'm all good. I could die a happy man now."

* * *

Author's Note: Fluffy good? Fluffy bad? Constructive criticism is welcomed!

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	13. Test Run II

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note: There is a bit of…lemon? Fluff? I don't know. All I know is that it wasn't supposed to be here, but I couldn't help myself. It's marked, so those with sensitive eyes can avoid it, if necessary. I think that's the only business I need to remind you of. So, uhm, read on!

Chapter 13: Test Run II

The ride back to Djose wasn't the nicest, but it was comfortable and dry, at least. I limped aboard the ship while leaning on Gippal's shoulder. Rosemary and Cid followed behind us, Dezba carrying Turrang behind them. The other crewmates were carted on cloth stretchers; the remains of Gippal's ship attached to the main ship and strung along. Inside the tiny elevator shaft that would take us to the lower part of the ship, Rosemary, Cid, Dezba Gippal and I stood in complete silence. Even if I hadn't known Cid and even if he hadn't been my dad, I'd know what the terrible curl to his upper lip meant. I glanced quickly at Gippal to see if he sensed the disturbance in the force, too. Sure enough, he was inching away from my old man as we neared our destination.

When the elevator doors slid apart, Gippal and I took off running. This must not have been what Cid expected; he sounded, for a minute, as though he were drowning in his own anger. But, it didn't last long; he eventually got his second wind. And boy, did it blow.

"Kad ouin yccac pylg rana, oui pnydc!" Cid cried angrily, his face as red as a tomato. Gippal and I turned hesitantly on our heels, only to jump back an inch or two when we spotted my old man. "E'mm pa tyshat ev oui kad uvv fedruid cu silr yc y cmyb uh dra fnecd. Pid tuh'd kad ouin rubac ib zicd oad. E fuimth'd _tnays_ uv kuehk dryd mekrdmo uh oui dfu." (Get your asses back here, you brats! I'll be damned if you get off without so much as a slap on the wrist. But don't get your hopes up just yet. I wouldn't _dream_ of going that lightly on you two.)

"Muja," Rosemary cooed softly, patting his shoulders delicately as he stormed off the elevator, Dezba following behind him, only to whip around and hide behind me. I had to agree with him. Cid could be downright fiendish when he was angry.

"To hell with that," he barked angrily. Tearing away from the loving embrace of his fiancée, Cid rounded on Gippal, pointing a threatening finger at his face. "You idiot! Do you have any idea the kinda danger you put Rikku in? She could have been killed! Do you have any idea what could have happened to her?"

"Rikku's a big girl. She knows how to handle herself without you, Cid," Gippal said, shrugging just the slightest. I gaped at him. Had he lost his mind?!

"I know what the hell she is. She's my _little_ girl, you arrogant punk! And if I ever—"

"Pops, chill out," I told him, frowning. "I'm not dead. And, Gippal did come to save me."

"That ain't the issue, Rikku," he growled, though his gaze never left Gippal's surprisingly smug face. Wait—I'm sorry, but if Cid were threatening me with that finger, I'd be trembling in my boots. How could he be so calm?

"Then what is the real issue here, Pops?" I demanded, growing slightly irritated, what with the throbbing pain in the back of my eyes and the terrible way he was treating Gippal. I'm not even gonna delve into the implications of that statement right now, so there.

"Uh—"

"Now that everyone's done yelling at one another, may I be allowed to examine my patients?" Rosemary asked softly, though anyone who knew her—and probably some that didn't—could tell that the sickly-sweet singsong tone to her voice was only there to mask the deadly sarcastic poison that would otherwise murder. "Or, Cid, honey, are you not done yelling at the boy for rescuing your daughter?"

Oh, low blow. That's the Rosemary I know. Hit 'em where it hurts!

"Well, uh…" Cid grumbled, but turned away from us. With all his hot air gone, what more could he have done?

Cid threw one more threatening glare at Gippal, which was easily deflected by his golden-boy aura, somehow. Grunting, he disappeared on the elevator, probably headed to the top floor, where all the shiny buttons were. He did better around machina when he was angry anyway. When he was gone, Rosemary sighed, though I didn't understand why. That was just Cid being regular ol' Cid. Right?

"I'm sorry about that, Rikku," she said softly, cupping my cheek tenderly. "Sometimes, fathers get like that with their only daughter. But what am I telling you this for? You should know that better than anyone could ever hope to tell you, dear."

I wanted to say something, but thought better of it. Seeing this, she nodded once and directed us to the infirmary so that she could check over our wounds. I was against it…at first. Then I remembered that horrible machina-stealin' machina. Those things can pack a wallop. I had bruises all along my back, the likes of which would make Gippal's face turn to a pale rendition of his smug grin, should he ever see it.

Inside the infirmary room, Gippal helped Turrang onto one of the cots there, where Rosemary began doing her work. She was a much better White Mage than I could ever hope to be. While she was trained to save lives, I was only educated enough to prolong death until a healer such as herself showed up on the scene. She made sure I knew how to keep myself alive long enough to do that for myself and others, should the need ever arise. If I remember correctly, she cried through most of that lesson.

"All right you two," she said, while leaning over Turrang and prodding at his body for broken bones and the likes. "Change. When I get done with him, I want to be able to work on you two."

"Wait. There's no changing room," I stammered. I had been all ready to get out of my wet clothes and into something warmer…until I noticed that. This ship wasn't made to accommodate large numbers of people, I realized. So I was in a bit of a debacle.

"And why should that make a difference to you two?" she asked quizzically. She didn't wait for me to answer, turning her attention back to an unconscious Turrang.

Sighing, as I realized there was no way to talk myself outta this one—though I wasn't sure why. Wasn't I, as a girl, supposed to be allowed to change in a different room than Gippal, a man? Since when had that changed—I reached for the bottom of my shirt and began tugging it over my head. I turned my back to Gippal, who, I assume, had done the same. Rosemary had her back to both of us and, from the unsatisfied sounds she was making, wouldn't be examining us for quite a while.

Gippal must have changed much quicker than I had. When I took my shirt off, something I had wanted to save for later, there was a stunned but definitely unnatural sound that echoed on the other side of the room. Turning, I saw Gippal glaring at the ugly bruises I knew had to make up my back. I winced at the underlying anger that was there, not for me but for whatever fiend had done this to me. I gave him a weak smile, hoping it would be enough to get him off my back. When Rosemary left to get her first-aid kit, I learned otherwise.

"What the hell were you thinking, Rikku?" he growled angrily, slamming his fist down on the cot. "Did you see what that fiend did to you?"

"Well, that's the thing—"

"This isn't the time for your antics, Rikku," he growled again, though this one was more pained. He averted his gaze from mine. "You…you could have been killed. But instead of doing what you should have, instead of taking care of yourself, you chased after some fiend. You were already beaten and bruised but that stupid pride of yours just had to get in the way, didn't it? You just couldn't let the fiend go. You had to be stupid about it, didn't you? And for what? Because it beat you? Instead of worrying about some stupid machina, you should worry about yourself—"

I had had enough of his words. How could he say that when I was out chasing down that stupid fiend for _him_? So what did I do? I slapped him. Hard. Hard enough for tears to sting at his one good eye and slide down his face. He rubbed the abused side of his face as I glared at him, suddenly angrier than I'd ever been before in my whole life.

"You idiot! I chased that stupid fiend because it took your stupid energy core for your stupid ship! But do I get a thank you? No! I get yelled at and called stupid for doing something that I thought was right!" I snatched a cloth-wrapped something away from Dezba's traveling case and shoved it into Gippal's stomach angrily. "I chased down that fiend, kicked its ass and got that back for _you_!"

I didn't wait around for him to realize that I had retrieved his energy core. I didn't wait around for him to be a sorry idiot, either. I didn't have to.

It happened so suddenly before me that if I had blinked, I'd have missed it all. Gippal's one good eye misted over before the tears streamed down his face freely. Seeing him so vulnerable made my knees shake. I rushed towards him, burying my face in his chest. I hadn't meant to make him cry. I just wanted to prove a point; that was all.

"Gippal, you idiot," I sobbed softly, trying to keep from crying and failing miserably.

"I know, kiddo," he cooed softly, nuzzling into me. "I know."

* * *

I guess Gippal was pretty surprised that I managed to rescue his precious energy core. That had to be the only reason he was looking at me the way he had been for the past few weeks. Whenever we were in the same room, his eye would go all soft and fuzzy-like. And since that was true, Cid had to be angry that I had risked life and limb for a simple energy core. But where did Rosemary fit into all of this? Sure, she was like my mother and would naturally be worried about me. But she wasn't fuming like Cid had been doing; instead, she was acting more along the lines of Gippal. She didn't understand machina all that well, Al Bhed or otherwise. So what's the deal? Even Turrang was acting fishy. I had every intention of getting to the bottom of it.

It all started after they found us in the cave. Of course, I had no real memories of what happened after I got the energy core back. Most of them were cloudy, delusional dreams. Gippal had kissed me in one of those dreams, saying that he wanted me, but wanted to respect me too. Gippal? Respect? Definitely a dream. But that left me without a single idea as to what actually happened in that cave. Four weeks had passed since then and everyone was acting stranger than usual. I tried keeping myself busy with rebuilding the ship. Since the skeleton prototype worked, we figured we could begin filling in the insides and the outsides. But after a week or two of that, I was left roaming around Djose temple, shirking on my coordinator duties for a while.

One such morning, I had a cup of something warm in my hand, walking about the temple in a blind daze in little more than my thief's outfit. I never realized how beautiful the temple was. I touched some of the walls and was surprised to find them surprisingly cold and metallic. They shimmered in the sunlight and it made me smile. To imagine that Bevelle was capable of something so beautiful was such a leap of faith that I questioned my Al Bhed identity for a moment. Regardless of who made it or where it came from, I enjoyed it, so much, in fact, that I made myself cozy at the end of a hallway, mulling over my thoughts.

Immediately, they drifted back to Gippal, who'd been smiling at me a lot more often recently. It made something inside me queasy, but in a light, fluttery sorta way. It wasn't like being sick, though my world always felt upside down whenever he looked at me like that. I usually bolted from whatever room we were in and hid myself somewhere safe until the thundering in my chest died down and I could breathe normally without getting dizzy. Of course, this meant I was running and hiding quite often during the day, which was probably why I temporarily gave up my duties. Since it was his ship, he tended to be wherever I was.

"He's such an idiot!" I suddenly sighed.

"He probably is. But you're kinda insane for talking to the walls," Turrang said with a soft smile. He came around the corner with a clipboard and that matter-of-fact look about him, which meant that whatever he wanted to talk about was more or less likely to be work-related. That's Turrang for ya, keeping us on the ball.

"Oh, you're probably right," I agreed, getting to my feet. I dusted my bottom off, finishing the brown liquid in my cup in one gulp. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I pranced over to where he was, peering over his meticulous writing for whatever line I needed to sign on. "What's up?"

"I need you to sign this," he said, pointing to the line I was looking for. Handing me a pen, I did as he asked and smiled, turning to find another place to think. "Uhm…"

"What?"

"Well, I also need Gippal to sign this," he said slowly, refusing to look at me. He must have known I was avoiding Gippal; he was one of the more clever people here. And the guilty way he was looking only answered that question. "Take this to him and get him to sign it."

"Why do I have to do it?" I demanded at once.

"It's your job," he said with a straight face. Of course, it broke into a Gippal-like grin when he saw I had no other options or snappy comebacks. If he could master that damn grin, he'd obviously been spending way too much time with the machina man. I would have to intervene and change that before it was too late and he was a womanizing, machina-addict.

"Oh, fine!" I pouted, snatching the clipboard from his oh-too-obliging hands. Storming off, I went in search of Gippal.

* * *

Ten minutes later and I found Gippal in his room. Great. He was actually in his office, which was connected to his bedroom by a door. Pushing it open, I knocked once and made myself smile at him, trying my hardest to overcome to the urge to drop the clipboard and run. When I saw him, however, I felt a little guilty. He was buried under piles of paper work, probably applications for the sand excavation team in Bikanel. Not that he actually ever read any of the applications, but he still had to look through them, assign them to certain teams and check to see how much he could afford to pay them.

The creaking door alerted him to me presence. He peered up from behind his stack of papers and smiled softly. Ushering me in, he got to his feet, closing the door and directing me to a seat. I sat down across from him, my fingers thrumming the papers of the clipboard as I looked at anything but his expectant gaze. When he realized my plans for evasive maneuvering, he sat down next to me, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up with static shock. Being so close to him made me tremble, something I didn't know how to explain.

"T-Turrang needs you to sign these," I said, handing him the clipboard before he had a chance to say anything. "Uhm, afterwards, take them to him and everyone's happy."

I tried getting to my feet and running to the door, but for a man with one eye, Gippal was perceptive. He had beaten me to the door and was gazing at me curiously. I'd have given him the same look, if he weren't standing between me and the only exit from the room. Damn Gippal and his strategically placed doors! Frustrated, I finally met his gaze. On hindsight, that was probably a stupid idea.

All of a sudden, something thunderous came to life in my chest, pounding painfully in sync with my heart. It took everything I had not to fall to me knees from the intensity of it. My stomach was alight with what could only be described as excited pyreflies. I squirmed, but not from my insides going haywire. Looking at Gippal made me knees quake and my breathing shallow. I was dizzy and afraid of falling, a serious case of vertigo attacking my senses. I staggered…right into his awaiting arms.

"Something wrong, Cid's girl?" he asked softly, his breath brushing against my bare neck.

"N-No," I stammered.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" he said, shifting me so that I was staring at him. I couldn't look at him for long, though. There was something undetermined in his eyes, an emotion I didn't know how to name. That scared me, so I looked down, away from him.

"I haven't been avoiding you, Gippal," I lied, trying to sound casual. "I've just been busy. What with working on the ship and—"

"Except, you've been avoiding your duties. At first, I thought it was because of what happened on the ship that it bothered you to be around it," he said, tightening his arms around my waist. "But then I noticed you'd run from places where the ship wasn't, but I was. So what is it, Rikku? Are you angry at me?"

"What are you talking about, Gippal? You're being ridiculous. Why would I be angry at you?" I laughed hysterically, my panic attack coming in moments, I could tell. Being so close to him was doing wonders to my mental sanity. And when I say wonders, I mean wonderfully horrible things that could make my brain into jelly.

"You're angry because I stopped when we were kissing in the cave, aren't you?" he whispered, this time sounding so very close to me. If he hadn't been so close, maybe I wouldn't have heard him confess to my dream, which, if I heard him correctly, wasn't really a dream. That, more than anything, bolted me out of my delusional world.

"W-What?!"

"I told you why I stopped," Gippal said, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I thought…I was dreaming…" I admitted softly, suddenly feeling as light as a feather. "All this time I was worried that I began having dreams about you because we'd been so close these past few months…"

"So that's why you were avoiding me," he said, nuzzling into my neck. I could only nod.

XxxxxxX

Gippal's lips found Rikku's in ecstatic revelation, bruising her soft, pinkish petals with his urgent need. When he found she wouldn't run from him, he eased in urgency, but increased in heady demand, crushing her body to his. He backed her into his desk, hoisting her up until she was seated in front of him. He pressed into her space until her legs opened to receive him. Staring up at him shyly, his chest swelled with pride as her bruised lips and vibrant blush seemingly intensified.

Taking her face in his palms, he kissed her softly, enjoying the feel of her lips pressed against his. A soft moan escaped between them, her body arching into his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Rikku pulled Gippal deeper into her space, welcoming his soft, wet tongue as it snaked its way into her mouth. She suckled the new incomer, eliciting a moan from the man pressed against her body. He buried his tongue deeper into her mouth as her slid past his and into his mouth, exploring the warm crevices of uncharted territory, all while her fingers dragged along his scalp, tugging at his hair to make him closer.

Hands sliding down the front of her shirt, Gippal moved to untangle her body from the bikini top. His palm brushed against her breasts, the erect nips crying for his attention. Tracing circles around them through the fabric of the top, he turned Rikku into a moaning heap of hormones and sighs. Smiling, he let the top fall and pool in her lap. Reaching his hands up, Gippal cupped her breasts in his cold hands, her body arching into his. He sunk his teeth into her neck, her legs tightening around his waist.

"Gippal!" she moaned, tossing her head back as his body smashed against hers.

Rikku's fingers soon found the rippling muscles buried beneath his shirt and armor. As they pooled at his feet, she traced his body with her fingers, paying especially close attention to his defined stomach, causing him to shudder from her feather-light touch. She would have continued her exploration of his body, had his mouth not made contact with her right nip. Trembling with pleasure, Rikku arched into him again, her panties rubbing against the bulge in his pants. As he suckled her breast, his other hand massaged her left mound in a steady rhythm, her body rocking against his. She tightened her legs around him, her skirt hiking up far past her golden thighs, inviting his attention.

Sliding his hand down the insides of her legs, Gippal watched her face light up with pleasure. He traced her mound through the soaking fabric of her panties. Rikku buried her face in his chest, his name tumbling from her lips as he pressed against her swollen nub. Pressing two fingers against the swollen flesh, he began a circular motion all while watching her face. At first she squirmed, her legs wanting to clamp down as her orgasm threatened to come. He kept her steady, biting down on her neck as he gently pinched the swollen nub. Rikku bit her bottom lip to keep from screaming as she came undone, her orgasm nearly throwing her from the desk.

XxxxxxX

"Gippal," I said, smiling as I pulled him closer. I nuzzled into his warm body, enjoying his musky scent. He kissed me softly, offering me my abandoned bikini top.

Taking the fabric from him, I began to cover myself up, though it seemed he was happy to remain as he was. As I finished dressing, the door creaked open behind Gippal to reveal Turrang. His head was down, re-reading whatever it was he was carrying. He walked into the office and peered up, finding a half-naked Gippal and me on his desk. Cheeks brightening with embarrassment at the steep implications, he smirked softly.

"Well, I did say do whatever to make him sign it. Of course, I didn't know you'd take me so literally," Turrang teased, turning on his heel.

Gippal chuckled softly before turning back to see me pouting. He smiled, leaning over to kiss my forehead. I didn't see the humor, apparently. I was fraternizing with my _boss_, for machina's sake! What was I thinking? And it was Gippal, no less! I punched him in the chest lightly, paling as I realized what we had done.

"Gippal…this was a bad idea," I told him softly. If I had looked at him, I'd have come undone again. I just know it. "You're my boss, for crying out loud. I can't be in this sorta relationship with my boss. It's just not…it's a bad idea."

I slid down from the desk and quickly exited before any of what I said sank into his head. As quickly as my wobbling legs would take me, I ran back to my room. Closing the door behind me, I sank to the ground and cried. I cried because of what I had just done. I cried because of what we wouldn't do. I cried because for once, I could have been happy but…

* * *

The next six months passed by with relative silence. Everyone seemed to have noticed the growing distance between Gippal and I, but no one was bold enough to say anything about it. All of my efforts were now focused on trying to get Gippal's ship into the air. He said it would take 18 months and we'd been at work for more than half that time. For as much as we'd gotten done, I was impressed.

Several experiments had taken place since the initial test run seven or eight months ago and we were well on our way to getting Gippal his ship. It would be one of his making and would probably take the entire 18 months he promised it would. I laughed at that now, thinking of how much work he knew he'd allow for his ship. He never shirked on work and was a dedicated man once he set his goal.

With nearly eight months gone, I stared at our nearly finished model and smiled. It wasn't the piece of junk Gippal and his men had dug up all that time ago. After it was done, I could leave. I could go back to playing in the sand back in Bikanel… It was what I wanted after all…right?

As I stood staring at the nearly complete ship, I began calculating the amount of time it would actually take to finish it. What I found, I did not like. Another week or two at the most and I'd be back in Bikanel…away from Djose…away from Gippal… Sighing, I forced myself to smile, though it came out all wrong. It was a painful smile and I didn't need a mirror to tell as much. Walking back into the temple, I sulked as reality settled in.

"Look sharp, Rikku," someone said, though having spent so much time here, I knew it was Turrang. "Hey, what's with the sad face? I thought you'd be happy to be almost finished with Gippal's ship."

"I am," I lied and he must have known. He came closer to me, taking both of my shoulders as he tugged me into a hug. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. As it were, this was Turrang we were talking about. He wasn't the type to hug. "T-Turrang?"

"You look like you need it," he said softly. "Even Ms. Sunshine needs something to smile about."

Never had more mysterious words been spoken to me. Then again, he had seen Gippal and I together and then suddenly we weren't. He was clever enough to put two and two together, I'm sure. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what had likely happened. I just wondered if Gippal knew. He never talked to me again after I ran out on him the way I did. I suppose I wouldn't have too much to say to me either if I'd been so cold.

Just as I began thinking of him, still caught up in Turrang's arms, I felt the tears pinch at my eyes. Try as I might to stop them, I couldn't. I let them fall freely as I sunk deeper into the man's arms, thankful that he had been bold enough to stop my madness.

"Thank you," I said softly, pulling away from him. I wiped my eyes and gave him a true, genuine smile.

"Now there's the Rikku we all know and love," he teased playfully. Patting me on the head, he went towards the exit. "Oh. Gippal wants to do another test run today. You have to be present to pilot it."

"All right."

* * *

Later that afternoon, we found ourselves somewhere in the Calm Lands. Rosemary and Cid, who came back to visit, were also there, watching nervously as we began getting things underway. I sat in the pilot's seat nervously, my fingers thrumming against my knees as I waited. The command center for the ship was relatively small. There was me in the pilot's seat right in the middle, Turrang seated to my left in the navigator's chair and then there was Gippal in the captain's chair, doing nothing as always. Of course, I avoided making eye contact with him, though I felt his eye drilling into my back, willing me to look at him.

"Nothing but clear skies," Turrang said after a quick analysis. He turned to me and nodded.

"Right."

Tightening my grip on the steering mechanisms, I took a deep breath and moved the ship forward, into the air. It shuddered but eventually evened out. Regardless, I could feel everyone's held breaths. We hadn't gotten far enough last time to see how well she maneuvered in the sky. Today we hoped to change that.

Guiding the ship forward, I kept my attention between the skies above us and what was directly in front of us. Pushing a few buttons, we gained momentum and altitude, rising higher into the clear skies. Far beneath us were the cheering members of the Machine Faction and my parents. I smiled as we soared through the sky smoothly, listening to the internal humming of Gippal's beautiful ship. She seemed as relieved as we were of her working condition.

"This is amazing," Gippal said from behind me. "It really flies. Well done, team. I guess that means you can get back to the desert now, Rikku. I'm sure you missed it out there."

I didn't say anything; I kept my eyes on the sky before me. I slowly urged her back towards the ground, turning so that we would be near those we left on the ground. While there was still more work to be done on the ship, all of it could be done with the hands of Gippal's men. I was no longer necessary. Only eight months had passed and his need for me was already gone. I don't why I felt so upset. I should have been happy to return to the desert. But I couldn't bring myself to believe that; it was a lie.

When the ship touched back down, everyone filed out of the door. I remained where I was, making sure I turned off everything. Once I was sure everyone had left, I slumped in my seat, staring out the window. Was it so hard to believe that in a few day's time I'd be heading back to Bikanel? It was what I wanted…right? I didn't want to think about that just yet. I wasn't ready to look at my life in long terms.

Opting for a different view, I took the elevator to the ship's helm. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone in my thinking. Standing atop the massive ship was Gippal, his arms crossed over his chest as he stated out across the large plain of grass and rock. I approached him slowly, not sure of what to say around him anymore. Six months of not talking to someone can do that to you. Whatever the case, he seemed to know I was there. He didn't jump when I came to stand beside him.

"You're still here, huh?" Gippal asked, still staring at the white, fluffy clouds as they traveled above us at a sluggish pace.

"…Yeah," I said slowly, trying my best not to be so antsy around him. Try as I might, some part of me or another was in motion. If it wasn't my tapping feet, it was jittery fingers. Even my hair was in civil disarray and wouldn't remain still for the life of me or lack of wind.

"Odd. I thought you'd have taken the first ship back to your beloved sand already," he said, slightly colder than usual. "Aren't you in a rush to get back to Bikanel?"

"Not…really," I admitted shyly. I stared down at my feet, my hands fidgeting nervously at my sides. "I thought maybe I'd stay here for a while. You know, help out or something…"

"I see," he said, turning on his heel. He walked past me, but stopped before he reached the elevator shaft. "I've decided on a name for the ship."

"What are you gonna name it?" I asked, turning to stare at him.

"_Rikku_."

* * *

Author's Note: Well? How'd you like it? Oh, I've got an idea! You can tell me how much you liked (or disliked) it in a review! Isn't that a wonderful idea? On a more relative note, I decided to put the fluffy business in 3rd person POV. It's much easier methinks.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	14. How Bad Could It Be?

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note**: **Sorry it took so long to update. I was having a bit of trouble with this chapter. I wasn't exactly sure where I wanted it to go. But I'm here now and I'm ready to show you what I have. So, here ya go.

Chapter 14: How Bad Could It Be?

"He named the ship after you?" Yuna asked, nearly choking on her glass of water.

"Subtle, I know," I replied, dropping my head down on the table. "How do you just decide to name a ship after someone? I mean, don't I get to decide or, or even consent to the use of my name on that thing?"

"Apparently not."

I turned in my chair to see Paine leaning against the door, her arms crossed at her midsection. Standing on an angle, she stared down at me, though her red eyes were slightly softer than her usual glare that she directed at anyone bold enough to make direct eye contact. She wasn't glaring at me, though, direct eye contact or not. Paine looked amused. On hindsight, I realized that I must have been imaging that. Paine was never amused. It was so very un-Paine-like.

"Still, that is rather bold of him, isn't it?" Yuna asked slowly, peering between the two of us.

"Well…"

"Well? That's never the start of a very convincing argument," Rosemary said softly, handing Paine a cup of tea as she waltzed into the room. I needed serious advice. So, I pulled out all the stops. There was no point in hiding anything from her anyway. "What exactly do you mean, Rikku?"

"Uhm…well, Gippal and I…we've been kinda…"

"Close?" Paine suggested.

"Fru ycgat oui?" I growled. (Who asked you?)

"Don't forget…I do know what you're saying," she warned icily.

"Oh!"

"Rikku, settle down," Rosemary said, patting my knee before I jumped to my feet again. "Just take it slowly, all right? No one here will judge you. Isn't that right, Paine?"

I don't know what it is about Rosemary. But, surprisingly, she has the ability to strike the fear of god into both people and fiends. I've never seen Paine so terrified in her whole life—at least, not the whole time I've known her. There was something deathly about the subtle way she made threats. You never really knew what she was saying until you met her gaze. And boy did she make give a death glare. Maybe that's why Pops likes her so much…

"Oh, poopie! Why can't it just be like it used to be?!" I cried,

"What do you mean, Rikku?" Yuna asked, sounding every bit the concerned cousin she was.

"Gippal and I used to just be friends. Now we're…we're like—oh! I don't know. It's just so weird now."

"Love is like that, sweetie," Rosemary said slowly from her cup of tea.

"Muja?! No way!" I cried, jumping to my feet. "I don't—I can't—"

"And yet, you do," she said, still just as calmly as before.

I wondered if she was right. Could I honestly love Gippal? If I did—and I'm not saying that I do—then it would clear up a few questions I had. I didn't hate the way he made me feel whenever he touched me. But he was my boss. I suppose if I didn't love him—and I'm still not saying I do—then I wouldn't care. It would just be fun in the sack, as they say. And yet…it was almost like I was waiting for it to mean something more than just a roll in the hay. I wanted it to be special for both of us. I didn't want my name to be important for only one night.

"Rikku?"

"Hm?"

"Do you love…Gippal?" Yuna asked.

I don't think I knew how to answer my cousin's question. Probably because I didn't know how to answer my rendition of the exact same question. It was complicated and difficult. Naturally. Anything involving that idiot had to be. Even now, my head can't wrap itself around the strange feelings he makes me feel. I wonder—is that love?

"Let's stay focused here, shall we?" Rosemary said, placing her hand on my knee again. "He named his beloved aircraft after her. Obviously he feels strongly for our little Rikku."

"So shouldn't she know how she feels about him?" Yuna cut in, jumping to her feet. Her mismatched eyes were sparkling again with idealistic romantic fantasies. That could only end badly for me, especially if she started spouting her fantastic love life. That was honestly the last thing I needed to hear right now. I didn't even have a breakfast to puke up and amuse myself with.

"If you and Tidus were friends, Yuna, and all of a sudden he named a Blitzball move after you, how would you feel?" Paine asked.

"Well, I, uh—," Yuna stammered nervously, her face red with embarrassment. Whenever she fumbled with her fingers like that, it was a sure sign that she wasn't sure what to do.

"Exactly. Rikku doesn't know what she feels. She needs time to think. She's spent the better part of a year breathing nothing but Gippal. She needs to sort out her feelings," my red-eyed friend said, sounding surprisingly caring.

"I've got a great idea," Rosemary said, smiling like a child in the candy store. She was bouncing slightly as she spoke, I noticed, something she only did when she was adamant about whatever it was she was thinking. "How about we have a girls' getaway? Just the four of us—out to Besaid beach to enjoy the sun and be away from our men. Don't you think that's a wonderful idea?"

"Rose, you know Yuna and Tidus live on Besaid, right?" I said, peering up at her curiously.

"We'll send him away with Cid. I'm sure he'll understand. And while we're there, we'll get Lulu and send Wakka away with them, too," she said, sounding more and more devious as time went on. Sometimes, I worried about my mother figure. She could be down right disturbing whenever she got stuck on an idea…like now.

"That's a wonderful idea, Aunt Rosemary," Yuna said, bouncing happily on her feet as she paced the room. "That's exactly what Rikku needs; time alone to sort her thoughts out. Rikku, you'll be as good as new in no time—I promise!"

As I sat there watching my cousin and my mother figure planning things out for me, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

* * *

"Is something wrong, Rikku?"

I turned to find Paine staring at me curiously. Since Yuna and Rosemary were busying themselves with planning, I decided to stand outside and stare at the busy streets of Luca. I wanted to lose myself in their moving feet and traveling carts. Maybe then I could find myself for real. But if her distant gaze was any indication, I wasn't doing too good a job. Shrugging, I let my shoulders slump forward, giving up the good fight. I was lost. End of story.

"When did everything get so complicated?" I whimpered, kicking at an imaginary rock by my feet. I watched it disappear into the weight of Luca's streets, absorbed into their single consciousness. I wondered if I could meld into that oneness and still remember my name. "When did we go from being best friends to…well, to this, whatever it may be?"

"Sadly, I can't tell you. It happened long before I met either of you," she told me, leaning against the banister. She stared out at the busy streets of Luca beneath us, probably just as curious about them as I was. "You and Gippal have been falling in love since you first met. It's something that was bound to happen because of who you two are. You've been friends your whole life. He's always been apart of you. It's only natural that you fell in love with him."

"Who says I'm in love?" I asked weakly.

"You can lie to them, Rikku. Hell, you can even lie to yourself. But don't lie to me; I know the truth," Paine said, her voice softer than I can ever remember it being. She sounded at peace. "Both of you know what it is that you feel for one another. It only took you this long to come to terms with it. Still, I'm pretty impressed."

"Impressed? What do you mean?" I asked, watching her open the door to go back into Rosemary's home. She stopped, turning around to face me again. "Paine?"

"For once, you're not running away from him. You stayed. He always took it personally when you ran off to save the world instead of sticking around so that he could save you," she said. "He's always wanted to be your hero. He's always wanted to save your world from harm…"

* * *

I sat on Besaid's beach, staring out at the clear water reminiscing. We had rescued Tidus from those waters. I remember their reunion like it was the other day. Sure, two years had passed since then, but it was a good memory. So I could remember it. Yuna was so happy—as was the rest of Besaid Island. Yuna deserved to be happy after having so much grief in her life. She deserved to be happy. I wondered if I could ever get a happily ever after fairy tale ending. Sure, I hadn't done much to help procure its survival, but the world owed me after everything I had done to save it from destruction. The world owed me as much.

No. That's not true, either. If I want to be happy, then I have to make myself happy. I can't depend on others to make me happy. What does that say about me?

"Having fun yet?"

Rosemary pushed a chilled drink into my hands before settling down beside me on my towel. While her swimsuit wasn't nearly as revealing as mine, for a woman her age, it was scanty. She was busty and much curvier than I had realized. I suppose that's why us Al Bhed women generally wore layers of clothing. We wanted to hide ourselves from the world. Still, that didn't explain me, running half way around the world in little more than a bikini and a mini skirt. The scarf could hardly be counted as clothing, as my father had told me countless times beforehand.

"I'll admit it; Besaid is beautiful. Sure, it's not the sandy Home I'm used to with the Oasis to find, but it's nice. I can see why you like it here," she said, sipping from her cup.

"We're not actually talking about Besaid, are we?"

"We never were, dear. I can see why you like him so much, Rikku. He's a lot like your father, loath though you are to admit it. It's that stubbornness that you adore so much in your father that drew you into Gippal, as well," Rosemary said, swishing around the contents of her cup distractedly. "He's a lot like the person you see in your father. When Cid isn't worried about his two kids or the fate of his people or scouring the desert machina parts, he's the person you love in Gippal. Is that why you're afraid?"

"I don't know. I…I've always known Gippal. He's always been apart of my life," I told her, pulling my knees to my chest. "I'm nothing if not for him."

"So you're afraid to lose him as a friend if things don't work out between you two as lovers."

It wasn't a question. More or less, she was telling me something—something about her, no doubt.

"Your father and I were like you two very much. I've known your father since before he married your mother. I was his best friend, the same as you are to Gippal. But I didn't tell him how I felt because I didn't think I was good enough for him. I didn't think we could ever love each other as anything other than friends. So, when your mother came around and he fell for her, I could do nothing but be happy for him. I later realized the error of my ways. I'm sure it all worked out for a reason, though. I can't have children; had I married your father, I would never have met you or your brother."

"But?"

"But that shouldn't suggest that I took his marriage kindly. I abandoned Home the moment he was married to your mother and I fled to Luca. I couldn't bear to see him happy with someone other than myself. I realized how childish and selfish that was on my part, but had I stayed, I'd have become bitter towards her and towards her children. I can't imagine myself ever hating Cid's lovely children as I am now, but I wasn't in a happy place those many years ago. I realize that I should have told your father how I felt, but for the time being, I am happy that I did not. I wasn't old enough in my mind to have supported him the way your mother did."

I sat in silence, absorbing her confession into tangible emotion. The pain she must have felt to watch Pops in the arms of another must have been torture. I wondered if I could suffer that much for Gippal just so that he could be happy. Could I watch with dry eyes him indulging the attention of another woman? Could I be happy for him when he pledged his life to some woman who didn't understand the value of functioning tools? Could I live in the age where Gippal belonged to someone else? I realized I couldn't.

"I'm scared."

"I know you are, baby," she said, wrapping me up in her arms. She murmured softly against my hair, a lullaby I had known since I was a child. "If you really love Gippal, then you have to come to terms with it. You have to tell him."

"Ay! What's all d'is about, ya?"

"Wakka? Uh-oh…"

Rosemary and I scrambled to our feet. And there he was, standing in the middle of the beach with a confused look on his face. He was wearing his swimming shorts, a beach ball tucked under his arm. If Wakka was here then that meant—

"Hey! Cid's girl! You trying to have a day at the beach without me?"

* * *

I watched Gippal from the shoreline, my mouth slightly agape as I recalled what Rosemary had said to me earlier. She had always loved my father. It wasn't hard to imagine the way they moved so easily together. I wanted that for Gippal and I, but at the expense of possibly losing our friendship? Who was I kidding? If Gippal wasn't going to always be my friend, what was the point? For all I was worth, I couldn't bring myself to sacrifice something so important to me for a chance at happiness eternal.

Slumping forward, I gave into the questions that were nagging at the back of my mind. The questions that wondered why I wasn't pouring my heart out to him; the questions that demanded I run as far and as fast away from him as possible; all of them weighed heavily on me and I didn't have a single answer. Not for myself. Not for them. And especially not for him.

As I got to my feet, I felt his eyes on me. He was in the water playing with Wakka, Tidus, Brother and Yuna; Paine and Lulu were standing on the shore together, their dark eyes seeing everything all at once. Baralai was lying at Paine's feet, saying something to her with a gentle smile on his face. Buddy and Shinra were racing toy vehicles in the sand to amuse Vindina, who tried to gobble them up whenever they stopped. Rosemary and Cid were seated in chairs, watching all of us. And I was standing alone on the beach, wrapping my arms around my body.

For any normal person, this scene should have been happy. For me, it was only a reminder of how much I didn't have for the sake of others. I had given up any chance of being happy so that I could ensure the happiness of others. I had forgotten all about myself so that other people could hope. I was their beacon and I wanted to remind them that there was something worth living for, even in the most dismal of times. But, without my even realizing it, I had let go of any chance for my own happiness. That in itself was worth crying over.

"Where are you going?" Paine asked as I walked past her.

"Oh, uh—I just wanna stretch my legs, you know," I said, laughing nervously. "I won't go far. Promise."

I could tell she didn't believe me. There was something transparent about the way Paine showed she cared. Maybe it was because she wasn't the type to be emotional that the few times she was ever so vulnerable, it was such an odd, contrasting change compared to her normality. Or maybe it was because I knew her so well that I always knew that the tiny dent in her brow meant she was deeply concerned for whatever it was that caught her attention. In this case, it was me. She was worried about me.

I just wish I could have told her that she didn't need to worry about me.

As I walked along the shoreline, I felt the waters lapping at my bare feet hungrily. I didn't mind. Today was rather hot and the cool water was refreshing. Of course, many people would wonder how I, dressed in as little was I was, could ever be hot. A sliver of cloth across my lower body and an equally sliver-like piece across my bosom was all that sustained my modesty. Sad, isn't it? What can I say? I grew up in the desert; clothes were the last things on anyone's minds.

Somehow I found myself in the tiny nook where Wakka and Tidus said they swam once. Of course, I don't know how my feet took me there; I didn't really know about the place. It was just some vague understanding of the place that let me feel comfortable enough to say I knew my way around.

As I sat on the edge, I stared out over the cool water. I longed for Home; this place reminded me of the Oasis. It was Gippal and my favorite spot together. I can't remember how many nights we spent there together, staring up at the stars, talking about where we wanted to be when we were older. He always knew that he would be the leader of a machina organization. So it came as no surprise to find him at the head of Machine Faction two years ago.

Of course, I never knew what I wanted to be—I never gave it much thought. Perhaps that's why I was so versatile. I was always in the middle of something or another, whether it was saving the world or saving a sphere, or even rescuing an aircraft from being forgotten. Maybe I just wanted to save everyone—the whole world from feeling lonely or painful or forgotten. I don't know. But that seemed about right. I wanted to rescue them from feeling the pain I always seemed to feel…

"Hey, Cid's girl."

"Gippal?" I said, peering up to find Gippal standing behind me. "Oh…hi."

"What's wrong with you, kiddo? You haven't looked that upset since you found out machina aren't eligible for marriage," he teased.

"Oh shut up!"

"May I ask why the lovely Princess of the Sand is sitting here all by her lonesome?" he asked, coming to sit down beside me. He didn't notice the way out hands touched—or maybe he did—but it made my face hot. "So why aren't you enjoying yourself with your friends? I thought that's what ya came out here for."

"Eh…kinda," I said nervously.

He stared at me curiously, but I simply stared out at the water. I didn't remember how long it had been since Gippal and I had been alone together like this. I couldn't feel the tension that had been building since the day in his office. It was like it never existed at all.

"Let's go for a swim," he suggested, though he didn't wait for me to answer. He was already diving in before the question had the time to register itself into my brain. When I looked again, he was treading water several yards below me, his golden hair shimmering with water droplets. "Come on, Cid's girl! The water's fine!"

I pouted before jumping in after him. He was right; the water was great. I swam around him several times before he grabbed me out of the water, me kicking and screaming the whole way. We laughed together, giggling at the thought of it all. When he finally put me down, my face hurt from laughing so hard. Settling down, we floated on our backs for a while, just staring up at the sky. It was just like back Home, the two of us staring up from the Oasis. I felt home sick, suddenly, wishing that we were there and not here.

"I miss Home too, kiddo," he sighed. "The rest of Spira is great, but I miss Home. I miss my people."

"Then why not go back?" I asked, glancing at him. His one good eye was focused on something faraway, meaning he was in deep thought. That was natural; we were talking about him going back Home, after all. He had a lot to consider under those circumstances. "Pops would be happy to see you there. Heck, I'm sure most of the Al Bhed would. Our fearless machina leader returned."

"Home isn't the same without you, Rikku."

"What?"

"I don't know what's up with you, kiddo," Gippal suddenly said. "I've been trying to wrap my head around you but I just can't."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't though; my hands wouldn't stop shaking. And the way he was looking at me, I couldn't focus on anything but the message he was trying to convey.

"You're up and you're down faster than I can keep track of you. For the life of you, you can't stay still. You're something I don't think I'll ever understand anything about you, Rikku."

"Gippal—"

"But I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life trying to. None of that bothers me anymore, Rikku," Gippal whispered, running him thumb along my jaw. "You can be whatever you wanna be. You can be the destruction of the world for all I care. As long as you're there to confuse me, then that's all right."

And then he kissed me, softly on the lips. It was unlike either of the kisses we had shared before. This one was needy and passionate, as though he wanted desperately to become apart of me. Maybe he wanted to; I know I wanted to be apart of everything he was. And at that moment, I realized something.

I was in love with Gippal.

* * *

_How bad could it be?_

_How bad does the drug deal have to go in order for you to leave the drugs behind?_

_Oh, I guess that is pretty bad. _

* * *

Author's Note: Yay! I finished! So how do you like it? I hope it wasn't too soppy. That's the last thing I want. Can you imagine it—a soppy Rikku? I think the world would implode and make a black hole of itself if such a conundrum were to occur.

And in other news, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of people watching this story progress. At least three people, I'm sure. Of course, you're not telling me anything T_T Don't be shy! Drop me a line. I'm dying to know how everyone feels about this story. So, until next time!

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	15. Friendly Advice Anyone?

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note: I am **so** sorry, guys! I've just been so swamped with work. But never fear! The newest chapter is here! Hopefully, it'll keep you guys at bay until I can crank out the next one.

I totally goofed. Please forgive me! If you didn't notice the goof up, wonderful!

Chapter 15: Friendly Advice Anyone?

A week had passed since my subtle yet obvious realization. This time, however, I made sure not to isolate Gippal. I smiled at him whenever he was around and I didn't scamper from the room if he came into it. Things were different from how they used to be, but that didn't mean I needed to make our situation difficult, too. We had enough to worry about, what with Gippal's ship getting the final layers of paint and customizations made to the interior. Within a month's time, the entire project would be completed.

"It's just like Gippal said," I cooed, running my hands over the side of the ship in my passing. "You really are beautiful…"

"Of course she is. I named her after you, didn't I?"

I turned to find a familiar face smiling at me with that macho arrogant grin. Gippal stood with the sun to his back, a cup in either hand as he approached me. Once he was closer, he offered me the glass and I fell in step beside him. We walked and sipped for several long moments, neither of us quite sure what to say. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes and was shocked. For once, I think Gippal was as much at a loss for words as I was. He was peering up at the sky, scratching the back of his head as he walked, a thoughtful twist to his parted lips. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"What's so funny, Cid's girl?" he asked quickly.

"Your face, of course! It's hilarious!" I said, doubling over, a mess of hysterical giggling. "You should see yourself, machina man! Priceless…"

"Laugh it up."

"So, what is it, machina man?" I asked, once my giggles had subsided. "Did you need my help with something inside?"

"No, it's nothing like that," he said, edgier than usual. "Well, it's…just…Cid is having this sort of…thing…and I have to go."

"Ooh, flashy," I teased, smiling up at him. I nudged him in the side playfully before running around to stand in front of him. "I can see it now. 'The Machine Faction Leader—Gippal, too hot to touch—putting all the men to shame.' Pops will have a field day with you later."

"I need a date."

"W-What?" I stammered, suddenly realizing why he'd been so nervous. "A d-d-d-date?"

"So. Are you free tomorrow night?"

* * *

Once again, I found myself out with the girls. Only this time, Lulu, who had recently been clued into my Gippal dilemma, decided to tag along. She left Vindina with his father and uncle Tidus back on the island, threatening them with the fear of Yevon. If he had a scratch on him, they were both as good as dead. She, along with Yuna, Paine and Rosemary, accompanied me to the boutique in Luca, said to house some of the prettiest—and most expensive—dresses in all of Spira.

As I got over the initial shock of what Gippal asked me, he clarified the specifics. It was a semi-formal gathering, which meant me having to wear a dress. Oh joy. Naturally, they were the only ones I could ask to come along with me. Leave Gippal to his own devices long enough and he'd have me in something scanty…I just know it. So we found the largest dress store in Spira; I was picky when it came to formal attire. I'm much happier in my Thief's outfit. I don't see the point of wearing a dozen articles of clothing if four pieces get the job done.

"I don't even see why this is necessary," I grumbled, absently thumbing through a rack of clothes. Nothing caught my eye. "And how come no one told me about this thing beforehand?"

Naturally, no one answered. Paine was going with Baralai, Yuna was taking Tidus, Lulu and Wakka were going and Rosemary was Cid's guest. None of them had uttered a single word about this damn party beforehand. Now, when asked a direct question, they found whatever it was they were looking at magically interesting. Typical. Traipsing through the boutique, I didn't bother looking at any of the dresses. No one ever liked my pick of dresses, so why bother? They'd only shoot me down anyway. Whatever they had was always _so_ much better than my choice…

"Hey, Rikku," Yuna called from a rack of dresses. "Come over here, please."

I slunk over to my cousin, wondering what she had found. When I got there, however, she was practically gnawing off her bottom lip. She was thinking of something but was too afraid to say anything for fear of offending me. She was so predictable…

"What's wrong, Yunie?" I whispered softly.

"You're going with Gippal," she started slowly. Oh boy; I know _exactly_ where this one is going…

"Yeah. So what?" I asked, trying to shrug off the weight of her logic. Sadly, there was no point in even bothering. She was going to do her job until she didn't have one anymore. And, at the moment, protecting my better interests was her own personal job. To that end she would strive. Still, can't blame a girl for trying. "It's not a big deal, ya know."

"Not a big deal? Rikku! Listen to yourself!" she chided, sounding like someone's mother. "It's a formal event. He's not just taking any blonde-haired bimbo! He's taking our Rikku to this thing…and that should make it a big deal to you. Don't you understand what that means?"

"Apparently, I don't," I sighed, somewhat deflated. "I don't want to make this into a big deal, Yunie. I can barely sort out my feelings. I can't be bothered to try and figure his out, too, ya know. I'm just a kid! I don't know what I'm doin' anymore."

"Oh, Rikku," she sobbed, throwing herself at me.

We stood like that for quite some time. I don't know when we moved. I don't remember making my legs go forward. The only thing I could see was Gippal and his shining aura. He was so beautiful and so perfect. How had I gotten dragged into all of this? What had changed in the two years since I'd last seen him? What changed him? What changed me? I didn't mean for any of this to ever happen! All I wanted ta do was build a darn ship, not fall for my best friend…

* * *

The next afternoon, I was in yet another store with Paine, Lulu and Yuna. Rosemary said something about having to attend a pre-banquet thing with Pops. She gave me a knowing look and shipped off to meet him in Bikanel. I sighed deeply. She was the only one not pestering me about a situation I didn't know how to resolve—i.e., my relationships with Gippal. She was the only one who didn't seem to pity my inability to make a decision. Unlike some people, I didn't meet the guy of my dreams and have everything fall into place. Some people had to work to make things turn out right.

Today we were searching for accessories and other last-minute trinkets. Oh joy. A whole day with my two pseudo-sisters and my Romantic cousin. I couldn't describe with words the happiness I felt whilst waltzing through the too-tiny store. I prayed that we could get in and get out before anyone realized I wasn't professing myself to Gippal. Maybe I could make it through the rest of the day without someone giving me a strange look or wanting to talk. Yesterday I had to deal with Yuna's insistent tears and quieted wails. I love my cousin—don't get me wrong, but sometimes…she needs to suck it up.

Since my dress had been picked out for me already—it was a sleeveless blue dress that tapered at the waist and flowed down fittingly to my feet; it was trimmed in silver. Surprisingly, it was in good taste—my only task was to find matching silver accessories. So far, I found silver-plated chocobo feather earrings. They were adorable! There was also a necklace, more of a silver chain than anything else. There was a silver feather dangling from the thin chain. I thought it matched rather nicely.

I walked to the front of the store and showed the lady my intended purchase. I had already picked out silver slippers earlier that morning. This was the last thing I needed. Now, to just pay for it and then I'll be home free. Come on lady, ring faster before—

"Before you leave, Rikku, I'd like a word."

I'd know that coolly polite commanding voice anywhere. I peeked over my shoulder and smiled nervously at Lulu, who stood barring the door. Face falling only slightly, I recovered with a curt nod. I turned back to the cashier, shooting daggers at her for being so slow. Being the unnatural blonde she was, she didn't notice. I sighed under my breath when she handed me my purchase. I got to the door and stepped out, nearly bumping into Lulu in the process.

"Howdy," I said, all the pep lost to my voice.

"Don't sound so happy to see me," she joked dryly. She turned her eyes to me, freezing me to the spot. I gulped loudly—or it seemed loud to me; I couldn't hear much else over the thundering in my ears, so it had to be loud if I heard it. "It has come to my attention that you harbor romantic feelings for your friend, Gippal—leader of the former Machine Faction. Is that correct?"

"Jeez! Does everyone have an opinion on how I should go about doing this?"

"I only asked you a simple question, Rikku," the woman said softly. "Since you seem so adamant about not talking, it is obvious how strongly you feel for him. That is all that concerns me. Do not fall victim to the pressures of others. If you love him, then that is all you need be concerned with at first. You have that much handled; take the rest as you see fit."

And with that, the ex-black mage turned on her heel and returned to the store, leaving me to stand on the front in stunned silence.

* * *

The night of the party finally arrived. The only place large enough to hold most if not all of Spira was the Bliztball Stadium in Luca. Big surprise there… It was gutted and the bleachers were moved out of the way. The place was done up like a ball room, with glitter decorating every flat—and some not-so-flat—surface available. It was a shimmering mess, but gorgeous all the same.

Everyone who was formally invited was announced upon arrival and there was a humungous spectacle as to who brought who and why. Naturally, when the man called Gippal's name and then announced me as his date, there was a quiet sea of hissing that splashed against us. I winced at the death glares they were sending me. I tried compressing my existence, melding with Gippal. Sadly, I was still privy to their evil eyes.

After that debacle, I was left to my own devices. Every now and then, Gippal's arm would wrap around my waist and I would jump from the closeness. Realizing it was him, however, I would relax and continue with whatever it was I had been doing. It felt surprisingly…natural, like his arm belonged there. I don't know how to explain it. Yet.

An hour passed and I was waltzing about aimlessly. Gippal needed to discuss something with some important looking bloke to the side, leaving me without an arm to keep me in place. Naturally, my feet got to moving. I found myself walking past a moderately crowded bar, where I spotted a familiar head of messy blonde hair. It was Turrang, who had previously decided that he would go without a date, which didn't surprise me as much as it should have. Now that I thought about it, I realized he never spoke about a wife, a mistress or even an ex-girlfriend. Maybe he liked men. I shrugged—that was his business. I just felt bad that he didn't have anyone to talk to. Making up my mind, I marched over to where he was seated at the bar and plopped myself down beside him.

"Oh, I'm sor—Rikku?" he said, stopping mid-apology. His face immediately lit up. "I almost forgot you'd be here. How are you?"

"I'm good. A little bored. All these old farts don't know how to have fun!" I complained. "Still, it's nice to see everyone getting along."

"I know what you mean. It's not been a time where so many of Spira's people could gather without there being bloodshed present," he said, nodding to himself. "But these political get-togethers are always quite boring. I'm only here to support Gippal, as are several others. Us Al Bhed have to stick together, you know. We're the only true family we have."

"That's true," I sighed. "Still, maybe we can learn to get along one o' these days. It's a big, hopeful thing, but it's somethin' ta look forward to."

"You're starting to sound like your father," he laughed. "Accent and all."

"Crid ib, oui!" I said, punching him playfully. (Shut up, you!)

One of the Hypello barkeepers waltzed down the length of the bar, a pad of paper in one hand, a pen in the other. At this, Turrang perked up and called the barkeeper over. He ordered something with a long name; it was definitely alcoholic. I didn't want anything; Rosemary made sure to stuff our faces before we left. We waited in silence until a thick glass was set in front of Turrang. He smiled brightly, tipping the rim to his mouth. He consumed more than half the glass in one gulp, smacking his lips greedily, before settling the glass back on the wooden bar. He turned to me in his chair, a question set to his strong features.

"So, why aren't you with Gippal?" he asked softly, having glanced around for my blonde-haired beau.

"Oh, you know, he's off talking to someone," I shrugged. "I didn't wanna just stand there, so I started walkin' around. I was lookin' for Yunie and the rest of them, but I found you first. So I came and said hi…"

"How are things progressing between the two of you?" Turrang asked, while staring into amber liquid in his glass.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," he chuckled, setting the glass down. "Care for a dance?"

* * *

Somehow, Turrang and I made it to the middle of the dance floor, just as an upbeat song started. I lost myself to the unified swaying of the crowd, the warm air of their bodies making me dizzy. I felt Turrang behind me, his hands steady on either side of my hips. He swayed with me, our bodies almost touching in the warm fuzz of our dancing sea. I moved with him to some unknown beat that resonated inside of me, out bodies synchronized in whatever dance we made up together.

As time wore on, I fell into him, his chest pressed tightly against my back. His hands slid down to my thighs, my arms wrapping around his neck. We danced like that, closer than we probably should have been. But I was too caught up in the moment that I didn't even remember my name, let alone the person I thought I was dancing with.

I felt his breath on the back of my neck and it sent a strange sensation down my back. My stomach did flips, begging for more of the pleasant sensation. Unfortunately, it stopped so suddenly and my trance was broken. Turning I saw Turrang caught in a staring contest with another blonde—my blonde!

"Gippal," I said softly, causing him to lose whatever macho test he was engaged in with Turrang. "Hey! How'd your little meeting go?"

"Meeting?" he asked, sounding confused. "Oh, uh, fine."

"Good. I was waiting for you—but Turrang here was keeping me company," I said with a smile.

"I noticed," he said dryly. "But he's needed elsewhere. And since I'm here, you won't be sad in his parting, right?"

"Uh…right," I said slowly.

I didn't know what was going on between the two of them. Turrang was almost glaring at Gippal, who seemed sheepish under his friend's gaze. Normally, they were the best of friends, but tonight, Turrang seemed on edge with Gippal. I wonder what he'd done to make the normally sympathetic Al Bhed so…touchy. He nodded at Gippal and whispered something that sounding like, "Tuh'd clnaf ib." (Don't screw up.) He walked past Gippal, winking at me before he disappeared into the crowd of people.

"What was that about?" I asked lightly.

"Ah, nothin'," he said. We both knew he was lying, but who was I to call him on it? I only shrugged as an answer. "So, how about we get outta here? I made my appearance, like I promised. And, last time I checked, you hated these sorta things. Too many old farts…"

"You remembered!"

"Naturally, kiddo. There's not too much about cha that I don't know," he said smoothly. "So, let's get outta here, huh? I'll walk ya home."

* * *

Gippal and I talked for three hours about anything and everything. It was just like old times. I couldn't remember the last time he and I just talked, though. It had been so long. Before our lives got complicated with Sin and growing up, we had been so close. He was my other half. I missed that. He did, too.

We recounted our memories together, reminiscing about the things we would have done had things gone as we planned. He told me his dreams—the things he wanted to accomplish before he died. I was impressed; they weren't the same anymore. They weren't so childish anymore. The things he wanted to do were meaningful to me and to him. The rest of the world be damned. What he wanted to do was important to him, so that was all that mattered.

I told him about my fears. I told him how I was afraid I would lose him when everything changed. He reminded me of something—his inability to break a promise. When our worlds fell apart, we made a promise to each other. We promised to stick together always. So far, neither of us had broken that promise yet. I was glad.

Finally, we made it to Rosemary's house, the place where I was staying until I returned to Djose with the rest of the crew. I lingered in the front porch, Gippal nervously casting around for something—anything to talk about. I smiled at him. This wasn't like Gippal, to be so nervous. It was refreshing to see him off balanced.

"Something wrong?" I teased.

"Hush up, Cid's girl," he said. "The day after tomorrow, everyone starts back to work. You are coming back, aren't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"She's almost done. Your machina expertise isn't necessarily required for adding a few coats of paint. I just figured…"

"I have other reasons for returning to Djose, you know," I said without thinking. I caught myself after it was too late. My only hope was that Gippal didn't hear me. Oh how unlucky I was…

"Ah," was all he said, though.

"Gippal," I said nervously, prancing from one foot to the other. "Uhm…"

"What is it, Cid's girl?" he asked, stepping closer to me. My back pressed against the door, his face only inches away from mine. "Did you need something?"

With him being so close to me, I said the only thing I could think of.

"Kiss me."

* * *

That night, I waited up for Rosemary to come home. All I could think of was how soft Gippal's lips had been against mine. I don't know why I told him to kiss me but I was so glad. It wasn't what I wanted to tell him. But I figured I couldn't have expressed myself any better than that; not with words, not with kind gestures. Only our lips pressed together could have told him what I wanted to say. If I didn't know before, I knew now. I loved him. I truly, truly loved Gippal.

Downstairs, the door creaked open. I didn't want to scare her, so I waited a while, until she was settled downstairs. I heard water running and then her teakettle chirping softly. She was making tea again; it was her only vice, if you could call it that. She always told me that tea helped ease the soul. She was probably right. Look at how calm she always was.

I crept downstairs and found her right where I knew she'd be. She was expecting me.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to find me," Rosemary said. Like always, she was in her living room sipping tea. She patted the seat next to her, motioning towards the second teacup, which must have been mine. "It didn't take you as long as I thought."

"But you have tea ready," I pointed out.

"A wise woman always has tea ready for her child in need," she told me. "I've found that nothing helps settle the mind like a hot cup of tea."

I guess she was right. Whenever something was troubling Rosemary, she boiled some water and made herself a pot of tea. Afterwards, she felt better and was able to tackle whatever it was that was troubling her. Maybe she was right about tea; it really did work miracles. So I took the seat beside her and sipped quietly from my teacup. She wouldn't push me into talking; when I was ready, she would listen.

"I'm…not sure what to do anymore, Rosemary," I whispered. "Everyone keeps telling me different things to do and none of them makes much sense."

"Of course they don't, Rikku. None of those ideas belong to you," she explained. "In your mind, you still haven't decided what to do. Therefore, any path someone tries to explain to you won't make any sense because you can't see that road yet. It's like looking for someone in the wrong city; of course you'll never find the person, so long as you remain where you are."

"That makes sense," I grumbled. "But I still don't know what I wanna do. It's all so confusing."

"That's because you love him. It always tints the world in a different shade than we are used to," she reminisced. "The world doesn't seem to make sense anymore because you love him. It's the same for everyone, I believe. And, in trying to right those wrongs, you lose yourself in the momentum of denial. Learn to embrace the new feelings he's giving you, Rikku. But, more than that, let him know what he's doing to you.

"Tell him? Why would I wanna do that, Rosemary?" I whimpered.

"It's not fair for you to hog all of the new sensations," she said, giving me a patronizing glance. She settled her cup on the short table in front of us and turned to me on the couch. She took both of my hands into hers and smiled. "Think about it like this, Rikku. Perhaps he is lonely and just as confused as you are. He doesn't have a mother or father to talk to about what he's feeling. All he has is himself and you to rely on. He won't move forward if you keep pulling away from him. He won't approach you if you don't show any interest in him and make the first move. He's just as afraid as you are. The only difference is, he's alone in his world and you are not. Did that thought ever cross your mind?"

"No…it hadn't…"

I stared down at my hands in hers. Did she have anyone to talk to when she fell in love with Pops? More than that, how did she feel when my mother married him and was the one to make him happy? I wondered again if I could see Gippal happy with someone else and not die on the inside. Knowing me, I would run away to the opposite end of the world again. I would escape so that I wouldn't have to see everything I could have had. That would be torture to me.

"Love is a two way street sweetie," Rosemary said, pulling me into a hug. "If you love him, there is a strong but equal chance that he loves you, too. But if you never tell him, slowly, your two way street will become a one-sided romance. Is that what you want, Rikku?"

I couldn't speak; my throat had constricted with emotion. Thinking of a world without Gippal had sent me over the edge. I couldn't see past my own misery. I couldn't think of anything but how empty my life would be if he wasn't there to make everything feel so full, so complete. So I shook my head. Of course that wasn't what I wanted. Of course I didn't want that. Of course I wanted to tell him how much I needed him. Of course…I had to tell him that I loved him, first. But how?

And then it occurred to me.

* * *

Author's Note: Cliffhanger? Probably. But I promise! The next chapter will have all sorts of twists and turns! You'll love it! Just don't give up on me yet!

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	16. I Like You! I Hate You! I Love You!

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

Disclaimer: I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note**: **sorry for the hiatus guys. I was entertaining and working. Yay me… But now I'm back, and oh, how I've missed you guys!

The first part is a little…steamy, let's say. Nothing too bad, I think. There's another part that's also steamy. It's not a lemon, though I still marked it for you sensitive viewers.

Chapter 16: I Like You! I Like You! I Hate You! I Love You!

The next morning, I found myself unwilling to get out of bed. I lay there with my hand trailing up and down my stomach. I wasn't seeing the ceiling above me; my mind was somewhere else entirely. All I could see was him.

My head was full of half-naked thoughts of Gippal, water drizzling down his body. I was curious as to where that water went. I watched silently with my eyes as the water cascaded down his stomach, disappearing behind the towel wrapped so tightly around his tapered waist. Even though I wasn't really dreaming, I couldn't help the feelings that plagued my nether regions. Biting at my bottom lip was all I could do to repress the moan that threatened to break the silence.

This dream Gippal must have heard this. He stepped closer I could almost feel his eyes on my body. He reached out and cupped my face, his wet hands enticing my senses. I was riding some ecstasy overdrive, every inch of my body on fire with thoughts of him. He trailed his hands downwards and cupped my left breast, his left hand trailing further down my body. He gripped tightly at my hips, trying to control me as I bucked under his ministrations. His mouth found the side of my neck and his hand was busily palming at my breast. What I wanted more than anything, though, was for his hands to—

"Rikku, it's time to get out of bed."

My eyes sprang open suddenly. I guess I drifted off, after all, which would explain some of those odd feelings and why there wasn't really a room, just a ceiling. Groaning inwardly, I realized it was only a dream. The hand that hovered over my warm mound was actually my own. Gippal was nowhere to be found. What a bummer.

I got out of bed reluctantly, stumbling into the bathroom to shower. Fifteen minutes later, I came out with a towel wrapped around my neck, my hair dripping dry onto it. I walked back into my room and got dressed, preferring my Thief's uniform once more. I spent the next ten minutes braiding my hair and adjusting it properly. It was such a pain having to braid it and unbraid it every single day. As I sat on the edge of my bed, I thought about cutting it. Picking up a pair of scissors, I measured how short hair would look on me. I was immediately reminded of the age of Sin.

On second thought, long hair was fine.

I finished getting dressed and made up my bed. Rosemary always told me that a clean room was the start of a good, productive day. I believed her; she always had good days, after all. Once I was finished there, I clamored down the stairs and found Rosemary setting the toast on the table. She peered up and smiled at me.

"Good morning, dear," she said softly. She came over and kissed my forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"Uhm, yeah," I answered nervously, thinking back to how I woke up.

"I thought as much," she said knowingly. "I decided to make breakfast. Your Vydran is stopping by later. Knowing you two the way that I do, I figured you would both need something to eat. Aren't you returning to Djose today?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "You know Gippal. He can't function without me telling him what to do."

"You're probably right," Rosemary replied. "Your Vydran is a lot like that, I've noticed."

Rosemary and I sat to a calm breakfast, each of discussing the personality quirks we enjoyed about our beaus. I hadn't realized it at the time, but I had somehow gotten into the habit of calling him "mine." It was "My Gippal this" and "My Gippal that." If I didn't know any better, I would have to say I was quite smitten with the man. I smiled on the inside, realizing how very true that statement was. There was no longer any use in denying it; I loved Gippal. Plain and simple though it may have been, it had taken me all of this time to figure it out. Shame on me, I know.

But cut me some slack! I'm working on it!

After we finished eating, I cleared away the dishes while Rosemary put the rest of the food away for Pops, whenever he decided to show up. He was a very busy man and was always looking out for the Al Bhed. He was likely tied up in some meeting or another, trying not to strangle the life out of whoever it was he was meeting with. According to most Al Bhed, myself included, Al Bhed are the only ones capable of fixing Al Bhed problems. They're our problems, why shouldn't we have some hand in the solution?

"You should pack up your things, Rikku," Rosemary called after me as I went up the stairs. "When Cid gets here, he'll eat and probably be the one to take you back to Djose. Unless you had other plans?"

"Nope! It was my plan all along to mooch a ride off Pops," I called back.

"It figures. Well, hurry up then."

Upstairs, I packed my things into the bag I decided to take with me. I left the dress I wore last night in the closet. I didn't want to risk getting monkey grease or some other damnable substance on it. The dress was too pretty to only wear once; I was determined to find another place to wear it and show off. I looked damn good in it!

When I came back downstairs, Pops was sitting at the table, crunching on a piece of toast. In his other hand was a folded up piece of paper; they looked like blueprints for a machina. Behind him, Rosemary was washing our dishes from earlier, agreeing to something he just said. She wasn't actually paying him any attention, but sometimes, it was good to just have someone agree with you so that you could have someone to throw your ideas off of. In reality, you're talking to yourself, but with another person there, you seem less crazy. I do it all the time.

"Mornin', Pops!" I called out cheerily.

"Ah, mornin', Rikku," he shouted back gruffly. "Rose tells me ya need be gettin' back to Djose and ya need a ride. That so?"

"Yup. I was hoping you could help me out, Pops."

"Yeah, all righ'." He drained the last of his coffee and folded the paper. He shoved it into the pocket of his overalls and smiled, giving Rosemary a kiss on the cheek. "Uh, I'll, uh, be back soon. I haven't forgotten about this afternoon, Rose."

"I know you haven't. If you had, I wouldn't have made you breakfast," she said sweetly, kissing his shiny, bald head. "You two be careful and Rikku, tell your Gippal I say hello. As a matter of fact, tell them all I say hello. Your boys are so wonderful, especially that Turrang fellow. He's nice."

"Will do," I said, giving her a hug. I followed Cid out the door shortly thereafter. I felt a sense of peace washing over me; I was returning to Gippal.

* * *

My plan was foolproof. Or, at least, it was as foolproof as could be with me involved. Just a little of this, a little of that. Then BAM! What could go wrong? These were the words echoing in the back of mind while all of this happened. Keep that in mind, ok?

The week started off oh so normally. I was still working my butt off in Djose. Occasionally, I'd shout out some order or another to someone and get back to busying my hands in the tightly wound wires. There were still some kinks to work out; whenever I'd take off with her, she'd shudder before straightening out. I was working on a way of fixing that. I was knee-deep in wires when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder.

I turned around and found Turrang, smiling at me cheerfully. He held out a bagel for me, which I took happily. Ever since I left Rosemary's house a week ago, the food had been lacking. Still, a toasted bagel was better than nothing. As we stood there eating happily at our bagels, Turrang leaned against me playfully, a part of some inside joke he and I had been laughing at since the day before.

Gippal sent us somewhere to go get this steering wheel he absolutely had to have. Turrang accompanied me. As we were walking, he and I saw this man performing alongside several others. From what we gathered, it was a play—or its rehearsal. There were definitely some kinks that needed to be worked out, which is where our joke comes into play.

The man was in the process of professing his long to this woman, but tripped over something and went smashing into her. Their lips pressed together in some awkward kiss, where he promptly apologized, but then continued on with his lines as though nothing happened. The woman berated him, before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and proceeded to say something about their futures being intertwined or something. I couldn't hear anything over Turrang and I laughing.

As we stood there with our arms intertwined, I felt someone's gaze upon me, but figured it was nothing. It was probably just one of the grunts trying to figure out what we were going on about. For a bunch of men, they were particularly nosey, go figure. A few moments later and the feeling passed.

"So—how's the plan coming along?" I asked him.

"Good. Gippal should be going up to his office right about now. When he does, that's your cue. Hopefully, no one will come walking in. if that's the case, though, I'll be standing in the hallway to ward off whatever intruder decides to come," he said, poking his chest out triumphantly.

"I really appreciate this, Turrang," I told him kindly, playfully punching his shoulder.

"What else can I do? If you didn't come up to me, I was forced to drag him down here by his ear and make him do something similar," he laughed. "I will give you two that much. You have to be two of the most thickheaded people in all of Spira. I wish you two luck in the long haul."

"Gee, thanks," I quipped.

"Well, get going," he said, pushing me gently in the direction of Gippal's office. "There are hearts to woo and professions of love to be made!"

* * *

I knocked on Gippal's door with a wide grin. When he opened it—after the third knock, mind you—I wasn't smiling anymore. I was slightly miffed that he'd taken forever to answer. I even told him it was me on the second knock. The jerk.

"Hey, machina man," I greeted cheerily, determined to do what I came to do. Remember that plan of mine? Watch it in action!

"Oh, uh, hey, Cid's girl," he said, sounding rather forced. He let me in, but didn't close the door. Instead, he shuffled about nervously. What's with him?

I walked into his office and pretended to be interested with something on his wall. He finally closed the door, walking around to sit at his desk. When I heard him sit down, I turned around and faced him nervously. I hadn't actually planned what I was going to say to him…but it was supposed to be something along the lines of a full-out confession of love. But, he was making things more difficult than they needed to be. For machina's sake—he wouldn't even look at me.

"Is there something you needed, Rikku?" Gippal asked, staring at something on his desk. "I'm kinda busy—lotsa work to get done. So, uh, make it quick, would ya?"

"What is with you today?" I growled at him, miffed that _he_ had the nerve to be rushing _me_! "Why are you being so mean to me?"

"Me?! I'm being mean to you, Rikku?" he roared, getting to his feet. He made my name sound like something foul; I didn't like that.

"Yes! You're being mean to me, you idiot! All I did was come up here to talk to you about something and you're acting like I've somehow offended you!"

I don't know what in that sentence made him angry but whatever it was, I hit the mother load with it. My blonde Al Bhed stormed over towards me, blocking me into a corner, where I cowered. Gippal was actually mad at me and for the first time in my life, I didn't understand why. What did I do?

Then I felt his lips crashing against mine, painfully so. All of his rage, his passion, his raw anger—I felt them collide within me. It was a maelstrom of foreign emotions that made my knees quiver beneath me. My hands reached for him, digging lightly into his hair. I tugged, pulling his body into mine. I could feel his heart beating against mine. His arms wrapped around me, lifting me from the ground. When I landed, I was sitting on his desk, Gippal pushing himself between my legs. I couldn't help but moan.

XxxxxX

Gippal's name rolled off my tongue and poured into his ear. He tugged at my hair, snapping my head back. He bit down into my neck, eliciting another moan from me, my bruised, reddened lips singing praises to their god. He tore my bikini away without mercy, squeezing another shudder from me. His cold hands cupped my breasts as he sighed in appreciation. I wrapped my legs around his, binding the blonde man to my body.

I couldn't take it anymore; I needed to feel him. My tiny fingers dug into his chest armor, feverishly removing the layers that blocked me from feeling his skin against mine. When I succeeded, Gippal growled into my neck, before ravaging the soft flesh, sinking his teeth softly into my skin. I returned the simple gesture, pulling him flush against me. When I bit into him, he bucked against me, his hardness poking into my stomach.

He leaned down to kiss me again, softer this time. His tongue traced across my bottom lip and I allowed him entrance. His tongue slid against mine and I suckled it softly. He nibbled on my bottom lip, his hands pressing into my back. I could feel his need to become a part of me. I wanted to feel him inside of me.

I pulled away from him, falling backwards onto the desk. I moaned against when his mouth found my nipple, his other hand massaging my right breast. I writhed beneath him. His tongue worked wonders, running circles around the sensitive area, his hand softly pinching the other. I was delirious with want, rubbing against him to try and relieve the pressure building inside of me. He bucked against me again, pinning me down with his hands. He stared into my eyes curiously. I only wished I knew what he found there; I would have hidden it better.

XxxxxX

Gippal pulled away from me, untangling our mess of arms and legs. I got up and stared at him strangely. What had just been the equivalent of a lover's fantasy was suddenly starting to feel very dirty. He was gawking at me as though I'd done something wrong.

"W-What's wrong?" I asked nervously. I hopped down from the desk and walked over towards him. I reached my hand out towards his face, cupping the side of his cheek. "Gippal?"

"I…I don't think this is a good idea anymore, Rikku," Gippal said. He pushed me away from him with his arms, refusing to look at me. "I don't think things can work out between us, all right?"

"W-What do you mean?" I asked. I stepped closer to him, trying to hide the pain I felt welling up inside me. What had changed between him throwing me onto his desk and now? I don't recall do anything too silly—had I?

"What…what did you come here for, Rikku?" Gippal asked, pulling out of my reach again. He turned his back to me, as though shunning me for something I'd done. He wouldn't even look at me. I really wish he would have; if I could see what gears were churning in his mind, perhaps I could help him understand better.

"I-I thought t-that was obvious," I trembled, holding my bikini top up properly. "Isn't that what you wanted…?"

"No. I don't. I'm into that sorta thing, Rikku," he hissed coldly. "And the fact that you are sickens me."

"But, Gippal—" I whimpered, feeling my heart breaking inside of my chest.

"I'm not into you like that. And I never will be."

That didn't make sense. Nothing that he was saying was making any sense, to be honest. But that last bit—that made nothing close to anything. What happened? I really wish I knew the answer to that. If I could, I would try it all over again until I could figure out how to make this morbid pulsation disappear entirely. Until such a time, I was left to drown in my own sickness. Until I could figure out how to reverse the flow of time, there would be no escaping the pain that washed over me next.

In hindsight, I should have seen it coming.

My knees quaked beneath me, and the world suddenly felt empty. I was falling. My legs gave out from the violent way my innocence shattered around me. It echoed painfully against the silence that was building—mounting—between us. It screamed in agony, the likes of which I'd never felt before. It was traumatic. It was painful. The words kept echoing in my head, but I couldn't make any sense of their meaning. What did he mean? Finally, something clicked.

My hand met the side of his face, leaving an angry, red imprint. I glared at him, feeling, for the first time in my life, anger beyond reason. He stared down at me with his one good eye, not sure if what he thought happened had actually occurred. I stood there, disbelief coursing through my veins. Had I just done that? Terrified at the answer, I ran away—away from the place where my heart broke; away from the truth I couldn't bear; away from Gippal, who didn't love me.

* * *

I didn't leave my room for the next two days. I kept Dezba near me at all times; he was the only source of comfort I had. As I lay in bed, rethinking my entire one-sided romance, he remained there with me, holed up in that tiny room, resting his head on my bare stomach. Whenever I would spasm with emotion, he would cluck and purr at me soothingly. I would wrap my arms around him and cry until my eyes and throat stung. Then I'd fall asleep, only to wake up again, threatened by some nightmare of my reality.

By day three, I was an emotionally drained wreck. I could barely stand on my own two feet. It took all of Dezba's will to get me out of bed and only then because my stomach felt like it was caving it. It would serve me right for such dutiful neglect. I would hunker down to something and return to my room before I had to face someone and talk. Not that I could have—I think my throat and voice box were rebelling against me. Still, it was a surprise to me that I had even managed to stay holed up so long without anyone noticing. Surely, someone must have realized by now? Surely someone cared…?

_Stupid Gippal probably told them I was sick. _In a way, I was. I was sick in the head for ever believing it was all right to love someone like him. What had I been thinking? It was Gippal, after all, the man of thousand lovers. He was the Al Bhed playboy—of course he didn't want a committed relationship. Why would he when so many women threw themselves at him every single day? Why get tied down at all? It was only me that wanted to get myself hopelessly tangled up inside his madness. And tangled up I had become.

Dezba squawked softly, the sound gurgled up in his throat. He batted his lashes at me prettily, before shifting his gaze to the door. Had someone been knocking?

"Kaaw, oui muug mega ramm," Turrang said with a soft smile. (Geez, you look like hell.)

"Dryhgc. Dryd'c ruf E vaam," I sighed, stepping back to let him in. (Thanks. That's how I feel.)

"I was…worried about you," he said, scratching the top of Dezba's head. "Gippal said you weren't feeling well. One or two days is all you would need to get over whatever ailed you. However, we haven't seen you in nearly four days. And…Gippal was making no particular effort to come and see you."

"I forget how smart you are sometimes."

"It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what didn't happen between you two, Rikku," he sighed in response. He took a seat on my bed, smiling at me sympathetically. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it. But, understand that I am here for you, Rikku. You are…a close friend to me. It pains me to see you in such distress."

I felt compassion. I felt adored. I suppose that's why Turrang was one of my favorite Al Bhed in the whole world. He was kind and he only spoke when he had something to say. I could hang around him all day and be at peace. He was a good friend.

"I…wanna go somewhere," I told him sheepishly. "I've been cooped up here for almost four days. Please, please, please, please!" I begged with a wide grin.

"If you promise to keep that smile on," he laughed. "And take a shower—immediately."

"Hey! You big meanie!" I pouted, in good humor.

"That's the Rikku we all know and love," Turrang said, getting to his feet. He kissed my forehead and patted my head. Moments later he was on the other side of the door, humming a soft, nameless tune.

* * *

Turrang and I didn't return back to Djose until well after the sun had gone down. Somehow, he convinced me to see Tobli again. In the end, after the Shoopuff show, I was glad I did. Although we did a lot of running around, we eventually got a chance to enjoy the show. It was a good show with lots of fireworks. I only wish Gippal had been there; he liked fireworks, too.

I ran circles around Turrang, walking past Djose temple for the second time. I wasn't ready to go back and I think he knew as much. I'd been making excuses since before we'd even started walking back. I was never one for tact, just straightforwardness. We walked along the bridge, after a while, simply pacing the length of the stone bridge. I was still eating from my cup a half-melted ice cream delectable. Turrang got it for me when we were prepared to walk home. He felt bad for not having fed me before hand. To my left, Dezba chirped happily.

"…And then Tobli had us passing out tickets. Of course, he didn't give us a price range," I said, recounting one of the many adventures Tobli had us running for him. Beside me, Turrang smiled in thought, casting his swirling green eyes on me. "He also helped us get the concert in the Thunder Plains. Because of him, I think, it was a success."

"I was there. Lady Yuna has a beautiful voice," the man commented. "I saw you and your companion there, too. Paine, right?"

"Yeah. Paine hadn't really heard Yuna sing before. But when Yunie sang for all of Spira, it was so amazing! I don't think she's ever sang so hard in her life," I reminisced. "Now, of course, she's married to Tidus, one of my friends. You know him, don't you?"

"The blonde kid, right? He's a damn good Blitzer," he said. "What about Paine?"

"Oh. Well, she and Baralai—the old Praetor of Yevon—the last time I saw either of them, they were in one another's arms. They've… gotten close," I said, recalling how often I'd begun to see them together. It left a pang of loneliness inside me. It seemed that all of my friends had found someone. But no one, it seemed, wanted me. Not even Gippal…

"Does that upset you?"

"No. It's just that…" I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him yet. Sure, he and I were friends, but how close? Was I ready to tell someone totally unrelated the weakness of my own existence?

"You don't have to say anything," Turrang said, almost as if sensing my hesitation. He gave me a cheerful smile and continued to walk with Dezba and I. I was grateful that he wasn't pushing me. I needed time to sort out my thoughts, anyway.

He and I paced the bridge several more times before I made up my mind.

"I think I'm ready to talk now, Turrang," I said suddenly.

"Oh? Well, then the whole day wasn't for naught after all," he said, taking a seat on the side of the stone bridge. I sat across from him, casting about nervously. "Whenever you're ready; I won't rush you."

"Well, a while back, I thought I couldn't live without my friends. I'd gotten myself pretty down because I didn't have either one of them anymore. Yunie got married to Tidus. Since they hadn't seen each other, naturally they wanted some alone time. Paine wanted to see all of Spira on her own time…and Baralai went with her. And that just left me, digging about in the desert with Pops and the other Al Bhed. I didn't mind it, but—

"It wasn't what you want to do. It wasn't as adventurous as the previous years had been," he filled in for me. "It was lonely without your friends"

"Right. So, when Gippal came and found me in the desert, well I couldn't have imagined how much that would all change. The desert was boring; when I came here, though, I was…I was happy…"

"I think I understand," he said, getting to his feet. "The one person that you wanted to fill that emptiness in you doesn't quite understand your feelings. You want him to, but you also understand that he's an idiot at times. Though he is my friend, I'm not ashamed to admit it. He needs…work. But I promise you, Rikku, I'll help you make him see. You two deserve one another; you make each other happy. It would be no greater honor to me than to assist you in being happy."

Turrang crossed halfway to the middle of the bridge and held his arms out for me. I ran to him, smiling softly. I wrapped my arms tightly around him. He knew Gippal as well as I did; the only difference—he also knew me. Perhaps, with his help, I could maybe make Gippal understand. Maybe we could—

"Turrang? What are you—?"

I chose that moment to turn around and peek over my shoulder. In the dim moonlight, I don't think he saw me, pressed so close to his best friend. When I moved, though, he spotted me. Gippal was furious for some reason.

"Don't let me interrupt," he sneered viciously.

"Gippal, it's not like that—," I started, moving towards him. His glare froze me in place.

"Hmph. And here I was thinking I'd been too harsh," Gippal sneered coldly. His one good eye flashed in his friend's direction then he turned the icy glare on me again. His lip sneered upwards in disgust. I hated that look. "Looks like I'm out of a job. I'm glad you found yourself a quick fix."

* * *

This time around, I couldn't bring myself to face the world for another week. Try as he might, not even Turrang could get me out of my room. I didn't move from the place I collapsed on the floor. Not even Dezba's soothing purrs could get me to move. I was weighed down by the obvious fact that Gippal not only didn't want me but he was apparently disgusted with me, too. How had things gotten so bad in such a short amount of time? I suddenly wished I hadn't doubted Brother's theory of time travel. Maybe then…

But if that was the case, I wouldn't know how to go about making things any different than what they already were. I wouldn't have known what to say or not to say to change things. Chances are, I'd end up in the exact same predicament I was in, only with a much larger headache and a much deeper gash in my heart. Imagine having to constantly relieve through your most painful memory in an attempt to better understand the situation. In the end, you've only put yourself through unnecessary damage to try to understand a situation that is without logic.

And the worst part about the whole entire situation—there was no one to blame but myself. I should have made myself clearer, should have annunciated my purpose just a bit better. Maybe if I had, I'd been asleep with Gippal lying beside me and not my avian companion, not that I minded Dezba's company, but it just wasn't the same. I don't think he'd take offense.

"Not that he'd even want to, it seems. He's just…not interested in that," I sighed. Dezba remained completely silent. It wasn't as though I was actually expecting an answer, but the eerie quiet was grating on my nerves. I could barely handle it.

Moments later, however, my stomach answered. It was hungry and demanded immediate payment. Realizing I couldn't deny it anymore than I could deny myself, I got up from my bed and trudged over to the door. Dezba chirped sleepily at me. He was hungry, too, which didn't surprise me. He'd been at my side for an entire week and only ever ventured out when I did. He needed to eat if he was going to survive this emotional binge with me.

Downstairs in the room the Al Bhed gutted and turned into a sort of kitchen, I found several leftovers from the night before, meaty morsels of something fancy. I threw it into the microwave and waited patiently. After a minute, I heard girlish giggles coming from the main room. My cheeks were tinged when I heard another, huskier voice that was probably the source of those giggles. They were probably having a good time, probably a subordinate and a girl he'd picked up at the Moonflow. As I realized that I would have to walk past and interrupt their merriment, I became sullen.

"Oh well," I sighed, collecting my heavily ladled plate and liquid-filled cup. I tried to keep my shuffles to a mere minimum; maybe I wouldn't interrupt them if I was really, really quiet. Unfortunately, my luck didn't hold; it was I who broke the silence. "Gi-Gippal?"

The man peeked up slowly from the busty brunette that squirmed about in his arms. When his eye met mine, I was in total disarray.

"Rikku. This isn't—

"No, I-I get it," I said softly, though my insides were screaming at me. Was I insane for being so calm? Probably. But it was all I could do to prevent myself from crumbling in front of him. My pride wouldn't allow me such a blatant show of weakness—I wouldn't allow myself even that much. "I-I-I understand Gippal. She's…she's better than me. That's ok…as long as you're happy…"

Gippal removed himself from the busty woman's embrace and took a hesitant step towards me. I begged him silently—mentally—not to come near me. I didn't want to have to feel him in ways I never could again. I didn't want to remember what it felt like to be in his arms. Seeing him with her—it was too much.

"I hate you." Yes, that's it. It's anger…so it's hate.

"Rikku—," Gippal started, reaching for me.

"Don't touch me!" I cried, tearing out of his reach. In the process, the plate I'd been holding fell to the ground and shattered. Wearily, I glanced back up at him.

"I hate you… I hate you…" I murmured. No, that wasn't entirely true, but that's what it felt like. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. He was standing there, as though it was all right for him to be in the arms of another girl. How could one man be made up of so many contradictions all at once? How could be both hot and cold? How?! How—I needed to know! I had to know because this was no longer making sense. Or maybe it was…I wouldn't know. I couldn't see past the blinding rage that suddenly had its way with me.

"I hate you!" I screamed loudly, my voice surely waking everyone in the entire temple. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

And then I broke, unable to contain myself any longer. I backed away from him and rushed as far away as I could. Blindly I ran, my eyes clouded with the tears I'd been keeping inside of me for two weeks. After minutes—or maybe hours—of running, I finally collapsed in an empty hall. Painful shudders wracked my body, reducing me to a heaving pile of tears and pitiable whimpers. That was what I deserved, I guess. After all of this time, hadn't I realized that much already? Gippal had—why couldn't I?

"You don't look so good, Rikku."

I turned in the direction of the soft voice, finding Turrang there, holding a tissue out for me. I took it graciously, wiping my face, dabbing my eyes. I would still shudder every now and then, but the painfulness of it had subsided moments ago. He crouched down beside me, a sympathetic look on his Al Bhed features.

"All of this…for him," I murmured softly. Shrugging at the complexity of my own mind, I walked off of whatever train of thought I decided to ride to arrive at that particular conclusion that I, myself was insane or perhaps mentally unstable, though I would assume it to be the latter given my current predicament. (If you followed that, then I congratulate you; even Turrang would have looked at me funky.)

"Matters of the heart are rarely ever simple," Turrang said softly. "Perhaps, one day, men and women will learn to communicate their emotions far less taxingly and understand the simple value of making clear, accurate points when trying to express one's self."

"Rikku?! Rikku, where are you?"

I recognized the voice anywhere; it was Gippal. I couldn't fathom why he was looking for me, however. I glanced up at Turrang, begging him to handle Gippal. In my current state, I don't think I could handle another run in with he and his lady friend. Sniffling softly, I got to my feet and hid myself in Gippal's office; how ironic. This was where it all began…and ended. Surely, it should also be the source of my refuge. I only prayed that it was enough to sustain me while I waited and endured whatever excuse Turrang would make in my defense.

"Ah, good evening, Gippal," Turrang said, not quite so warmly as the message should have been. "Looking for something?"

"Yeah, you seen Rikku?"

"Why would you be looking for her? Don't tell me something's gone wrong…?"

"I think…maybe I did."

"The last time I saw her, she was crying," the man said, in my defense.

"Crying? W-Why is Rikku crying? What'd you do to her?" I heard Gippal ask—demand, rather.

"Me? I didn't do anything. You on the other hand…well…. You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Turrang snapped. "For the intelligent man I first pegged you to be, you're turning out to be rather thick. Rikku isn't crying because of something I did or said. She's like that because of what you told her earlier."

"But—"

"She doesn't have a romantic interest in me, you twit," Turrang ground out, finally at his wit's end. "She is, has been and will always be hung up on you. I don't know why, especially after what you said, but…love is a funny thing like that, isn't it?"

"Yes. It was what she was trying to tell you, before you turned her away in your stupidity," the man told his friend. "She wanted to become one with you. It was the only way she knew how to tell you her true feelings. But you, being the muscle-headed dork that you are, couldn't see the purity of her action and stupidly lumped her in with all of the other hussies you've associated yourself with in the past, no matter how brief or unfulfilling."

"Wh-Where is she?" he stammered.

I can only assume that Turrang tilted his head towards the office door. Moment later, the doorknob turned and standing before me was Gippal. I stared up at him nervously, biting my bottom lip as he crossed the room to me. We stood there in complete silence, simply staring into one another's souls, in search of something…anything. Finally, when his hand cupped my face, I knew we both found it. Ever so slowly did Gippal kiss me and I realized the truth.

He loved me, too.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so sorry about the long wait. But, it was worth it, wasn't it? I really hope everyone enjoyed it. Just for everyone's information, after this…I can only see being able to squeeze maybe three or four more chapters. Who knows?

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


	17. The Throes of Passion

**The Side Effects of Unoriginality**

Disclaimer: I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note: Drum roll, please. *inserting drum roll here* We have come to the point in the story where I feel it's absolutely necessary for me to express my deepest gratitude to all of my readers and reviewers. It is because of you that I have continued this fiction and it was only for you that I maintained myself. So, I thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. I am grateful to all of you.

In other news, this is the part in the fiction where I have to remind all of my readers of the story's rating; it's M for a reason. This chapter is that reason.

You were warned.

Chapter 17: The Throes of Passion

"Gippal?"

"What?"

"You're staring."

"Sorry."

Gippal and I had been playing a sort of game and had been doing so for nearly three months. It was our version of dating. I would make up an excuse to be alone with him somewhere and he would do the same. it wasn't that everyone from here to Luca didn't already know about our relationship. Rather, it was something for us, something that he and I did together. Sure, we'd spent our entire lives knowing one another, but we had only ever been friends. This was something new for the both of us. We were an item.

As it were, he and I were browsing through some store or another for yet another modification to his beloved aircraft. I didn't mind; it was our baby, so to speak. I was helping him to find the, and I quote, perfect steering wheel cover. I had to stare at him strangely as we walked out of the temple. Now he's just playing with me, I thought at the time. Sure enough, I was right; he wasn't even the navigator!

Still, there was good news all around. The day Gippal told me he loved me—that day in his office—I had nearly fainted. He rushed me into his room and brought a cold rag to rest on my forehead. Waking up to him was a wonderful thing; his one good eye was staring down into me with worry and concern. I took great joy in reaching up and kissing him softly, if only to feel him tense above me before returning the kiss. His hands roamed over my body possessively, a moan escaping between us, lost in the rustling of our bodies against one another. Our pleasure was short-lived, as Turrang knocked on the door and entered with a wide grin on his face. And do you know what his only response was?

"Took you two long enough."

Directly afterward, Turrang surprised us with a party. Every one of my friends had been there to congratulate us. Even Rosemary and Pops made it; I couldn't hide the happiness. Gippal hardly left my side, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist. It was only then that I realized how humungous idiots the two of us had been. On hindsight, it should have been obvious how we felt about one another. And yet, it had taken nearly a year of silently pining and nearly leaving for us to realize the truth, the absolute, unadulterated truth. We loved one another, purely and simply.

"Hey, Cid's girl, come here," Gippal called from the other side of the store, drawing me from my reverie.

I walked over to where he was and waited for him to show me whatever it was he was pouring himself over. I cleared my throat to catch his attention, all but growling when that failed. I pushed past him and glanced down at the steering wheel cover he found… It was adorable! Tiny little chocobos had been stitched into a sky-blue background!

"Oh, Gippal!" I gasped. "It's perfect!"

"I thought you might like it," he said, a cheesy grin plastered to his face. I couldn't help but smile, kissing his jawbone and walking off. "So, I'm gonna get this, all right?" he called.

"Sure," I called back, losing myself in a pile of pre-used machina parts. It was like a resale heaven! I was so busy looking over the machina parts that I only barely heard the cheesy conversation going on in the aisle beside mine.

"…Big strong man doing in a place like this, huh?" a woman's voice purred softly.

"Buying machina parts, of course," the male replied, sounding very distracted. "It's a machina store, after all, lady."

The woman laughed, sounding every bit the beautiful seductress I had imagined her to be.

"That may be, but surely there are other things worth more than machina junk," the woman murmured softly. She slunk closer to the man, her heels clicking softly against the tiled floor. "Come on, don't you want to…"

That's just my luck! I strained to hear the last bit of the conversation, but couldn't. Either the woman was whispering into the man's ear—which made them perverts—or she wasn't whispering into his ear—which still made them perverts. Either way, I had to satisfy my curiosity. I just had to. I backtracked and found the end of the aisle. Unfortunately, the man whom she'd been talking to was no longer there. only the woman was there, fuming angrily. She stomped her foot on the ground and stormed past me angrily, leaving the store in a huff.

"I guess there's always option three," I murmured softly.

"That there is," a familiar voice murmured against my neck, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist. "Some people, I swear."

I smiled in spite of myself.

"Let's get outta here," I said, leaning back so that I was staring up at Gippal.

"Wherever you want, princess," he smiled back at me, kissing my forehead awkwardly. I giggled.

* * *

Gippal pushed me into the room he and I had begun to share, his mouth hot against mine as his heated passion grew. I was already weak in the knees by the time his hands traced my sides. His body pushed against mine, the bulge in his pants hard to ignore. I moaned into his open mouth, his tongue taking advantage. It slid against mine, prodding softly against the insides of my mouth. I suckled his tongue, earning myself the delightful sound of his moans.

His mouth found the side of my neck, biting and kissing softly and roughly, his hands running through my hair. I tugged my fingers through his hair, pressing his teeth into me. I needed to feel him so painfully against me. I nearly came undone when his teeth found my earlobe, my moans escaping in hitched breaths.

His hands reached up my body and tore my bikini away, before his mouth latched onto my breast, his other hand massaging the free one. I moaned loudly, tossing my head back. he would switch his admonishments, lapping happily at one breast while gently palming the other. I found his lips again, sliding my tongue into his warm mouth. He groaned happily, pushing my body against a wall. He pinned my wrists to the wall, grinding his bulge into my center. I sighed in contentment.

As his right hand reached down the front of my skirt, my hands trailed across his chest, tugging at the cloth that kept our bodies separated from one another. I tore it away, gently scraping my nails across the slightly sweating skin. I bit down softly on his nipple, pulling at the erect flesh teasingly. I felt him tense up, his hands frozen at my hips. It was a sensitive spot for him and I was told that it did crazy things to my blonde.

He pressed his mouth to mine fiercely, hiking my leg up around his waist. He pressed into me, rubbing against my core. I moaned into his mouth, arching into him. I pulled him closer, running my fingers through his messy hair, eliciting a moan from his mouth. I swallowed it in a heated kiss, throwing my other leg around his waist. He pressed into me once more, an explosion running through my veins as the last of my reserves came undone. I was a mess in his arms, as he had been moments ago.

I felt him moving backwards as his tongue slid against mine once more. We collapsed onto the bed, my legs still wrapped around him.

For nearly three months, he and I had been like this. We were fiercely passionate, desperate to feel one another. It never progressed any further than full-on body touching and kissing, but it was enough for us to just to be in one another's company until we collapsed. We would spend the rest of the night in one another's arms until finally drifting off.

"Rikku," he murmured, pressing his mouth against the side of my neck.

"Hm?"

"I love you, kiddo," Gippal said sleepily.

"I love you, too, machina man," I said, sounding just as sleepy.

* * *

"You jerk!" I hissed angrily. "What the heck were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking? Did you see that guy—he was practically throwing himself at you!" Gippal yelled back.

As with any relationship, there are ups, where everyone's all blasé skippy-do, and there are downs, where people can't stand one another and would rather shove a spoon in their ears than have to listen to one more word. Likewise, Gippal and I had our ups and downs. Today was a down.

Like always, he and I had gone out shopping for something. Of course, the thing we were shopping for wasn't important; hence I can't recall what it was. All I know is that it was something for that damn ship of his. We walked into a store the same as always. Only this time, there was a male cashier there and not some woman trying to put the moves on Gippal. It's funny how when things are reversed he gets his panties all in a bunch. The idiot. Of course, the situation did maybe get a little out of hand…

"Good morning," the male cashier said. "How are you?"

"Hey there!" I called back, waving. I squinted, trying to read his nametag. "Rhaza?"

"That's correct," he said with a smile. "Anything you're looking for in particular?"

"Nah, I think we're good," Gippal said, walking in behind me. "But I'll let ya know if we do."

"All right."

Gippal and I began perusing the many aisles in the store, humming thoughtfully when we saw something we liked. We grunted when we found something we didn't like. We would meet up at the end of each aisle and nod or shake our heads. If we nodded, the other would go down that aisle and investigate. If we shook our heads, it was onto the next one.

As I walked down on particular aisle, I found a chocobo-decorated keychain. I removed it from the hanger and examined it.

"A chocobo lover, are you? That's quite interesting."

I nearly jumped out of my skin, the voice too close for me to react calmly. When I turned around, I found Rhaza staring at me intently, his wide smile encompassing most of his face. I gulped down my breakfast nervously, giving him a toothy grin.

"You scared me, Rhaza," I said, holding my hand out to push him away. "Don't you know it's rude to walk up on a girl like that?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, Rikku."

"How do you know my name?"

"Everyone knows the names of the three women who helped to save Spira. Among the three men, there were three women: Yuna, Rikku and Paine. Even if you hadn't helped save Spira, you are still the Al Bhed Princess. It would be rude for me not to know who you are," Rhaza said with a smile.

He bowed formally, which made me rather uncomfortable. I didn't like being treated so politely. It was the main reason I avoided going to political functions with Pops. Everyone knew me there and it made me uncomfortable to have so many people staring at me. But the way he was looking at me, it was different. It felt invasive, as though he was looking into my very soul. I wanted to run away, to shield myself from his piercing gaze.

"That's nice, Rhaza," I said, edging away from him. "Uhm, I'm gonna finish looking through the rest of the store, ok?"

"Please, let me know if there's anything else that I can help you with, Princess Rikku," he said, smiling softly at me. I nodded and left the aisle.

Gippal and I picked out our purchases and made our way to the cashier. Gippal had some heavy-duty things in his inventory, while I was only getting a few smaller things, like my keychain. One of the Al Bhed cashiers began ringing him up. I caught movement from my peripheral and saw Rhaza waving me over. I smiled at Gippal and went over to check out.

"Decided on the keychain, did you? It's a good fit," Rhaza said, bagging it along with several other goods. "Tell me something, Rikku."

"What is it?"

"The man you are with, his name is Gippal, correct? Former leader of the Machine Faction?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

Rhaza smiled and placed his hands over mine, giving me a tight, reassuring squeeze. "You two are a good match," he said, then returned to ringing up my items.

As I walked out of the store, I glanced up at the sunny sky. It was a good day; it was the kind of day that inspired couples to spend their together sunbathing on a beach. It was the kind of day that didn't need to be wasted with menial shopping errands and last minute adjustments on a ship, no matter how magical said ship was. no, today was the kind of day that was best spent in the company of friends and loved ones alike or, in my case with Gippal.

I waited outside for him to come out, wondering quietly how much junk a man like him needed to add to his other junk. I chuckled to myself. When he came out, I rushed over to him, wrapping my arms around of his stronger, more muscular ones. At the time, I didn't know how tense he was.

"That Rhaza guy was pretty nice," I said politely. Gippal only grunted, sparing me the simplest of smiles. We continued walking in silence, almost out of sight of the store when it suddenly dawned on me what Rhaza said. I smiled to myself. "You know, he said that we were a good match."

Gippal stopped suddenly, jerking me forward from the momentum. I turned and glanced at him curiously. There was something odd about the way his face was set, the tension in his jaw much stronger than it should have been. I didn't understand the numbers on his face; I was never very good with math. Maybe if I had been, I would have foreseen the next flow of events.

The man whose arm I held clutched to my side tore away from me and stormed back towards the store. I had to run to catch up and barely made it. I was in the doorway when it happened. Rhaza was stocking a few shelves and probably heard the ding when someone walked in. he turned around, his face coming into contact with Gippal's right hook. The impact was strong enough to knock the man to the ground. Blood spurted from what I would assume was a broken nose, several of his employees rushing over to assist him.

I rushed over to help Rhaza to his feet, putting a cloth to his bleeding nose. Two of the other employees there took him to the back room, whispering their thanks to me. I apologized to them on behalf of my barbaric counterpart. Once they had gone, I turned my attention back to Gippal and glared at him.

"You jerk!" I hissed angrily. "What the heck were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking? Did you see that guy—he was practically throwing himself at you!" Gippal yelled back.

"You idiot! He was trying to help!"

"Help himself to you, maybe," the man growled, his back to me. Even though he wasn't looking at me, I could tell what had set him off. I just couldn't believe it. Was he really that much of an idiot? Oh boy, was he. "Who the hell does he think he is, saying you two would be a good match," he growled angrily.

"That's what this was all about?" I asked, frustrated that he was being one of "those" guys. I massaged my aching temple, waiting for him to turn around. When he did, I fixed him with a glare that would have sent Sin and Vegnagun running. "You selfish, pretentious, asinine, jealous jerk! He said that we were a good match, as in you and me! No one else! Everyone thinks we're such a good match! Hell, I thought we were a good match, too."

"…Thought?"

I stared at him for a long minute, thinking my next words over carefully. He was so unstable. He was so compulsive. He was determined. He was a leader. At times, those were good qualities, things that I admired in him. It was the main reason he and I could work so well together. But when we're together…

"Maybe we're not as perfect together as I first thought…"

* * *

I was holed up in Rosemary's house. I hadn't left for nearly a week. It was taking me a while to cool off after Gippal's completely asinine behavior. The nerve of that jerk! To think that I allowed myself to be aligned with such an immature, selfish, outlandish, cocky meanie! What had I been thinking?!

…Of course, that was four days ago. Since then, my anger had cooled down considerably. And yet, I stayed in the empty house, babysitting it while Pops and Rosemary enjoyed one another's company. But that wasn't why I stayed. My ego—my pride wouldn't let me go back to him. I refused to bend, refused to give into him. I wasn't going to apologize for what I said when it was the truth. He was a complete jerk! I wouldn't apologize.

As I crept through the house, turning off lights and making sure all of the windows were closed, my mind began to wander. I was thinking of him again, wondering if he even noticed I wasn't with him in Djose. I wondered if he missed me. I wondered if he wanted me back. I wondered…if he needed me. If he did, why hadn't he apologized already? He knew that he was wrong! Surely he knew that much…right? My pride was preventing me from going back to him—what if his was doing the same?

And that was what I feared. What if he never said sorry?

"Maybe I should—"

A knock came to the door, a knock that startled me from my sleepy daze; the moon was full to my left and the night sky was a hazy purple-blue. I looked up at the door through the hallway and got up, slowly dragging myself to the front. The latch rattled under the ferocity of the knocker and I sighed, unhooking the door with little effort, pulling the wooden door away from the frame, annoyed. While I expected to see either Brother or Yuna, I was surprised to see none other than my lover.

"Gippal…" I breathed as he walked in, closing the door behind himself. "What are you doing here?"

"I owe you an apology, Rikku," he murmured softly. "I shouldn't have…reacted the way I did. It's not you. It's just…this whole thing is so new to me. But I didn't mean to upset you so much. But I just—"

"It's all right," I whispered, placing my hands on his forearms. It relieved me to feel him again, to know that he was still real. My fingertips trembled as I stroked his arm, trailing my hands up until I grasped either of his shoulders. "Gippal?"

"Hm?" he hummed, staring down at me with his one good eye.

I bit my bottom lip, hesitating with the words now seemingly caught in my throat. I glanced up at him nervously, hoping that I could somehow mentally convey to him what was on my mind. He was so unbearably close to me, his scent clouding my judgment. I could barely decipher up from down. Luckily for me, Gippal was a mind reader.

XxxxX

He pressed me against the wall slowly, kissing my lips, my neck. His hands traced my sides, pulling at the seams gently as he removed my bikini top from my body, tossing it to the side along with my headband and frilly arm sleeves.

The man sure knew how to caress a woman and soon, he lifted me, pinned me against the wall and spread my legs, his hand pressing hard against my aching center. He was teasing me, and I crumbled under the pressure like an old pillar. A moan escaped my lips and ran smack into his neck; my tongue licked salty skin and suckled honey sweet lips that had been gone for what felt like ages. He laced his fingers in mine, pulling me closer into him as our bodies felt like molding, becoming one.

"Gippal!" I screamed as he bit down into my breast gently, nibbling softly at the nipple as I tore away his shoulder pads and let them fall. He suckled gently like a child to my breast, sending shivers all throughout my body, feeding the hunger that was slowly growing between my legs.

The man standing before me knelt down slowly, trailing kisses from my breasts to just above the rim of my skirt. I looked down at him, my face flustered and my eyes half-lidded; with a nod, I gave him permission. Slowly he unfastened my skirt, trailing his hands underneath to touch my legs. I bucked when his hand grazed over my center, biting my bottom lip in frustration. He smiled to himself, pulling my skirt, forcing it to my knees and then to my ankles. He reached his hand slowly between my lower thighs and worked his way up, gently caressing the skin beneath my silk panties, teasing my clit. Another shaky moan left from my lips, provoking him.

Gippal lifted me into his arms, my skirt falling to the floor as he walked me into my bedroom. Everything that was within this room, I knew. And yet, this was not the same. This was not the Gippal I had known all of my natural life; something I thought I knew was different. There was something fierce within his eye, something that was determined. He laid me down slowly, crawling in between my legs until our shoulders were leveled and I pulled him down, kissing him roughly. The passion was almost too much for me to handle; it had never been like this before. Something had formed while he was away and I was beginning to understand something about him.

My hands traced his armor, traced the strings and removed the obstacle that was in my way until my lips touched pure, beating flesh. He threw his head back, a relieved sigh pouring from somewhere deep down within him. My legs wrapped around his back, pulling him down as my feet began tugging at his pants. He looked down at me with his one good eye and kissed me slowly, tenderly. He pulled away and stared at me softly, his eye so full of compassion.

"Gippal I—,"

But he stopped me, pressing his lips to me once more. I gave into him, my body becoming his plaything once more as he unbuttoned his pants and slid them off, casting them to the floor.

His hands gently traced over my silken underwear, a smile coming to the corners of his lips as his finger pressed against the spot he knew to be my opening, eliciting another moan from me. Gippal smiled, slowly peeling them from between my legs and throwing the dampened material to the floor beside my bed. I reached up and kissed him gently again as he spread my legs once more, guiding himself into me slowly.

"Are you ready?" he asked huskily. "Rikku are you sure?"

"Y-Yes, p-please," I stammered, my entire body shaking—aching for him to fill me.

Gippal leaned over me, slowly pushing himself in. As he penetrated, I could feel my heart throbbing against my chest as if something had been unleashed deep within my heart. He leaned down and kissed me, swallowing my scream before it ever left my lips. It took a while, but before I knew it, I was trying to rock against him, trying to encourage him to move inside of me. He pulled away from me, a curious hint to his face. When I nodded, he smiled.

I held him close to me as he pulled out and thrust deeply once more. I cried into his neck as he held me up, pulling me into his embrace. Another full thrust and soon he began rocking into me slowly, going as deeply as he could, eliciting so much from me while at the same time, I could hear him returning me moan for moan.

The night raged on for hours…

* * *

The next morning, I woke up in Gippal's arms. I snuggled closer into his warmth, smiling softly to myself. He shifted against me and planted a kiss on my forehead. When he pulled away from me, I groaned at the loss of comfort. I heard him chuckling in the distance.

"Come back to bed, machina man!" I complained playfully.

"Sorry, Cid's girl," he called back from the bathroom. "I've got a meeting with Nhadala about some machina or another that's been terrorizing my workers. Can't slack off and let them get the wrong idea about me, ya know. I've got an image to uphold."

"Oh, fine," I pouted, finally crawling from underneath the covers. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched him get dressed. "Will you be back for lunch then?"

"Probably dinner. Feel like goin' out tonight?"

"I don't really feel like going out, Gippal. So, uhm, can we stay in?" I asked nervously, trying to avoid his gaze. It did me no good; my cheeks were on fire from remembering how many times we had explored one another last night.

"You are insatiable," he chuckled, kneeling in front of me. He kissed my forehead, then ravaged my mouth before pulling away with a wry grin. "Fine, I'll make dinner, but you're responsible for desert. How does that sound?"

"Banjand!" I said, swatting at him playfully. "Pervert."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. He pulled my to my feet and kissed me again, smiling as he pulled away. "I'll be back for dinner, I promise, kiddo."

"Bye, machina man," I called sweetly, walking him to the door.

"Later, Cid's girl."

* * *

Author's Note: Ta-da! Hopefully, that wasn't too intense for anyone. Please, tell me I did well?

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.


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